Easier said than done. While it's been long enough that you're sure the farm isn't looking for you, you're still on edge in public. Especially with two of the Rangers. Especially when ones the Marshal. And on top of that, the last time you were in a fancy place like this was with your Handler. Not something you'd like to revisit.

Too many factors that could make this go horribly.

You just want things to go nicely. Make sure you come off as normal and well adjusted. People know Anathema and Charge, you don't want to negatively affect them somehow.

Julia slings an arm around your shoulders, pulling you closer. Pressed right into her side. "It'll be fun! Good food, couple of drinks," she turns and winks, "great company."

That makes your heart skip a beat. If she's anything, it's endlessly charming. And reckless. And an idiot. But charming. And very pretty.

You turn your head away to fight the blush that's taking over your face, but it's out of the pot and into the fire for you. You immediately lock eyes with Themmy, and their smile is enough that you feel like you may combust.

You're done for as soon as Anathema leans over and kisses your cheek. Ready to melt then and there. They're both right. You're overthinking. You've walked up to the restaurant now, all you have to do is go inside and get your table.

You've got this.

You stand up a little straighter, "I'll go check the reservation. See if they're ready for us." You smile and release their hands. Brush down the front of your shirt. "Be right back," and you leave them in the lobby to go check the front desk.

The waiter at the front is dressed nicer than you. Blue dress shirt, black vest, and tie. Immaculate. You immediately feel more out of place than you already did.

And despite being around the same height, he's looking down on you. "Sorry, I'm afraid we aren't taking walk-ins tonight. We are all booked for this evening." He speaks with a clearly fake French accent. This isn't a French restaurant. His shoulders are squared back, and his eyes are narrowed at you.

"I have a reservation, actually." You puff out your chest. You can be big too. "For me and my partners, table for three." You gesture back to where Julia and Anathema are standing for emphasis.

"You," he crosses his arms, "and them?" You don't like that look. Arrogant. Ghostly familiar.

"That's correct." At times like these, your training comes in handy. Small and polite. No need to escalate, even if you desperately want to.

"Not a chance. That's Charge and Anathema, and there is no way someone like you is with them." He flicks his hand as he speaks. Shooing you away. Out.

"Someone like me?" Keep your temper. Remember your training. You can't make a scene or then you will be in trouble.

"Yes, someone like you." The accent is gone. Replaced by something deeper. Snarky. "Dull. Homely. They are heroes of Los Diablos. You are the scruffy barista that makes my coffee on Tuesday mornings." Oh. Fuck, yeah you do recognize the bastard. Comes in like clockwork with a stupid complicated order. And doesn't tip. "There is simply no way you would be accompanying them, much less in any sort of relationship. Now I suggest you leave quietly before I call security on you for stalking and harassment."

"I haven't done anything." You take a deep breath and grit your teeth. Behave yourself. You will not make a scene. That would only make him more right than he already is. Nobody speaks it out loud, but your boost let's you hear them nonetheless. You don't belong with them. Don't fit in. No one assumes you're all dating. Friends at best. Indulging a fan at worst. "I'd like for me and my partners to be taken to our table. Please."

"And I won't ask you again. Do leave before you make an even bigger fool of yourself." The thoughts you pick up from him are enough to make you want to jump the desk at him.

They're also enough to make you take a few steps back before turning around and bolting out the door.

You choose not to hear the shouts from Themmy and Julia. Doesn't matter. This was a stupid idea.

Just who exactly do you think you are? That you could do this? Be one of them? With them?

There's a park a little ways down the street, far enough that you aren't worried about being disturbed. Hopefully, they'll give up and go enjoy dinner themselves.

You've sat yourself down behind the big water fountain in the center of the area. The babbling is relaxing. Unlike the constant ringing of your phone. Hasn't stopped. Messages from one, calls from the other. Nonstop. For fucks sake they need to take the hint. This is NOT helping your headache. You rub your temples, a futile attempt to make it hurt less. It never works.

Nothing does.

You turn and grab your phone from beside you. And pitch it into the pool of the fountain.

Finally. Silence.

"Valya!"

Fuck.

Fuck! Stupid hero instincts are going to be the death of you. No. You wouldn't be that lucky right now.

For a brief moment, you contemplate running again. But you aren't stupid enough to think you could outrun Charge.

And just to further prove that point, Julia is kneeling on the ground in front of you before you know it. Lips pressed against yours. Hasty. Firm. Her hands are on either side of your head, fingers interlocked at the back.

You just sit there like an idiot. Cursing yourself for not being more competent at this.

You're both out of breath when she finally breaks away. Still holdIng your head. Soft brown eyes refusing to look anywhere but at your own.

"I gave that camarero de mierda an earful." Julia huffs as she slides down beside you. "Why didn't you answer your phone?"

Before you can answer, Themmy plops down on your other side. They don't say anything. They just take your hand between their own and hold it. Waiting for you to answer, you'd think.

"I got rid of it." A simple admission. Not entirely deceptive. "It was loud. Headache." You pull away from Anathema. Tuck your knees up to your chest and push your face into them until you're seeing stars.

"Where?" Even without looking, you know Julia's trying to puzzle out where the hell you put the infernal device. You felt her braid whip against your head as she swung her head.

Themmy spots it first. "You're supposed to toss change in their you know." You brace yourself as they lean against you. "Though maybe bigger offerings means bigger wishes?"

"I don't...?" Julia must still be looking around. The braid hits the front of you this time. "Oh!" There she goes. "Valya! You threw it in the pond!"

"Technically, it's a pool, not a pond." At least you can laugh about this. Expensive a stress response as it was. It's better than the running away from dinner thing. Maybe they won't bring that one up.

They both laugh at that. "So you tossed your phone in the drink." Themmy snickers. "Any other property destruction you wanna get out of your system before we go eat?"

You release your legs. Sit back up and lean your head back on the edge of the fountain. "I'm sure I can find plenty around here to eradicate while you two are gone."

"While we're gone?" Julia's face pokes into your vision as she leans over you. Not an unwelcome intrusion. Curious. Worried. Pretty.

"No. I'm uh. I'll wait here." You can't do anything about it, but you will the both of them to just get up and leave. "You guys go eat," you force a smile, "bring me some take-out or something."

"Absolutely not." Anathema is up now. Standing in front of you. Standing on your toes to be more accurate. Hands stretched out towards you, hoping to haul you up to join them. "We're all going, and there's no reason otherwise."

"I. Am. Not. Going." You spring up to your feet, sidestepping around Anathema. "I didn't think - I can't. I just. This was a stupid decision." You try to drag a hand through your hair, it's long enough at the top to do that now. But Julia excitedly dragged you along with her today, and the lady put so much gel in it that you may as well be wearing a helmet.

You wish you brought your cigarettes with you. Badly.

"I don't belong in there. Probably never will." It's fine. You are fine. "Go. Have a good time. I'm going to grab a pack of smokes at a gas station or something. I'll see you at home," you nod at Themmy. "And I'll see you tomorrow or something." To Julia this time.

"Valya, wait!" In a flash, Julia's in front of you. You hop up on the edge of the fountain to go around her. You don't feel like doing this right now. "Seriously, are you really just going to let one waiter ruin the whole night?"

You turn on her so fast that she has to take a step back. "It isn't just one waiter! You don't get it! You can't! Neither of you! You don't know what it's like to be. To be -" You gesture to your head. "This. You can't hear them. I can. I don't fit in. Not with you both. Or even one of you."

What are you thinking? Running head first into destroying the best thing ever happened to you.

Just rushing along the inevitable.

No time like the present. All dreams end when you wake up.

"We hold hands, and people think I'm a friend or a relative. We can't be together. Not like that. They think I need to quit before I humiliate myself. Don't shoot my shot. There isn't a chance." Even when looking at the three of you together in public, no one believes it. You get those thoughts and opinions first hand. Regular people don't worry about projecting. "And you're both very public figures. And you're smart, funny, charming, and -" Your head is turned away, but you try to sneak a look at them before smartening up. "Beautiful. I just. I don't want to fuck with your image. Public perception. It can't be good, being seen with someone so...." Final nail in your own coffin. Your chest is clenched so tight you think you may stop breathing. "Homely. I'm just some scruffy barista. I'm out of my league here."

"Are you done?" Anathema's voice breaks though the pounding in your head. You nod.

And then they're both hugging you. Tight. Warm.

"Sorry you have to put up with all that," Anathema speaks quietly, tightening their grip on you. "But you know that doesn't reflect our thoughts, right? C'mon Val, give us some credit here."

Julia nods. Kisses your cheek. "If anyone wants to say anything, you can just send them my way." Another kiss on the corner of your mouth. You can't help but smile. "I'll show them exactly what Charge thinks of their assumptions."

Themmy props themself up on their toes to kiss you this time. "You aren't holding anyone back or bring us down." They drop back down and take a step away, still holding your hand. Big grin plastered on their face. "And you're handsome as fuck, Valya. Give yourself some credit too."

"Thanks." What else can you say? You aren't. Aren't good at this. Learned behaviour you hope. But everything feels warm and safe and much nicer than five minutes prior. You can feel your entire body heating up as you blush.

"So," Julia steps away now, doing a little spin on her heal, showing off the skirt of her dress. "I'm starving, and it would be a shame to waste this," she fingers at the navy blue fabric. "So how about we head back?" Bright smile. No a trace of smugness.

"Sounds like a plan, Valya?" Themmy holds out their free hand to make a sweeping gesture back towards the road. Smiling. All of you. Just like that.

It's easy around them.

"Yeah. Ready." You link your arms with them both. Happy to be here. Nervous. Still unbearably nervous. But it's a work on progress, you suppose.

"As much as I'd love to keep kicking your ass," stupid smug smile. This time, you are going to wipe it clean off her face. "Maybe it's time you took a break?"

The only reason she's doing any better off than you is because she's won every round today. Every. Single. One. Unacceptable. Pathetic. You need to do better. Have to do better.

You can't read her. Stupid static head that feels no different from them once it gets to trading blows. You need to be able to take her in a fair fight. Then maybe you'll stand a chance if the worst really does happen.

"Sounds like someone's looking for excuses to call it a day." You grin as you taunt her. She won't say no, she won't quit either. "Starting to show your age, Marshal? Thinking about retirement?"

"Given the current score, I'd say I'm not the one who should be looking into retirement." Got her. She's back on the mat and back in position. This time, you won't mess up.

"Esta vez vas a caer, idiota." You think you have got to have the advantage this time. Just because you've lost doesn't mean you never landed any good hits. Unlike you, she must be hurting some.

It's an unfair advantage, but for now, you'll take it.

You may have taught yourself how to fight, but you did a damn good job of it as far as you're concerned. Focus. Stay on the defensive initially. Figure out the normal way how she moves and what her tells for attacks are. It's simple. You can do that.

You dodge the first punch, and you're pretty sure she isn't putting in as much force with her right side. Good. That you can work with. Spin around quicker than she can regain herself and deliver a kick to the back of her shins. She doesn't fall.

Dammit.

She isn't talking anymore. No quips. No teasing. Both of you are solely focused on the fight. Blow for blow. Dodging and countering. When it gets like this, you don't, can't, see her. Just static that's no different from back at the Farm. Can't tell her from them. Spar from genuine fight. It gets hard to sort out the difference and still stay focused enough to remember where you are.

She's back around, and you take a swing only for her to seize your arm and yank you forward. Not so fast. Dead weight. You allow it, and the lack of resistance sends her off balance. The jab to her shoulder lands without a hitch.

See? You are capable. No doubt. Show them who's the weak one. Good for nothing but sitting all dolled up in some stuffy room gathering intel. Fuck that.

They never saw your potential.

You almost miss how her weight shifts. Right foot coming forward, oh so subtly. Not for you, though. You catch the kick coming a mile away and make yourself scarce. You can't keep from smiling. You finally did it.

This round is yours.

You know to lead with your non-dominant foot. Not to telegraph your every move. Just one kick. One to her chest is all you need, you can feel it. You'll have won. Beaten the horrible static, no powers needed.

And it lands. Beautifully. You relish the 'huff' that comes out of her as it connects. Finally. It's all you. No one can touch you. You'll stop them all. Never ag—

"¡Mierda!" Wind rushes by you. She's still quicker than you'd given her credit for. More agile. She took you by the leg and took you down with her. No, not just that. She used you to break her fall. Wind knocked out of you, you try to beat back the surge of panic because you can't breathe for real this time.

"Guess this means I won again." And she's right. She has you pinned. Again.

"Fuck!! Why can't I beat you!? ¡¿Qué carajo me pasa?!" You don't get it? Are you that reliant on being one step ahead? Reading your opponent's every move? Crutches. Too dependant. You need to do better.

You have enough strength to less then gently shove Julia off of you. Back on your feet. Nails digging deep into your palms to beat back the pinpricks of tears starting up in the corners of your eyes. Insult to injury. Pathetic.

"Valya, you good? It's just a sparing match." She's up on her feet and only a few paces behind. "No te tomes las cosas tan en serio."

Hands on you, and you flinch away from invisible touches before you realize you shouldn't do that. Breaths going from exhausted ragged to fearful rapid all too quickly.

She's going to question you about that later. You're sure of it. But she feels like them, and you can't help but react accordingly. Self-preservation. Learned responses.

More hands, but these ones have a presence to them. Tugging you off the mat and away from Julia. "Call it a day. I don't feel like dragging the two of you idiots to the infirmary." Themmy snickers, but you know they're serious.

More quietly, they add, "Hey, you're okay. Whoever you thought you were fighting, they aren't here." They sit down on the bench, and you slump down on the floor between their legs. Relax as they lazily drape themself over you, chin on your head and arms around your shoulders. This is okay. Safe.

You watch as Julia comes to sit on the floor a little ways in front of you. As she takes a pull from her bottle of whatever sports drink she's currently endorsing. That she swears up and down is good, but you're well aware of the way her eyes keep darting to your own bottle of regular water.

You know she'll drink it all in one go, so you down a little more than you really need to before tossing the bottle at her. Maybe with a little more force than needed, but you're still sore from the repeated training failures.

She gulps it down far too fast for someone whose own drink is 'refreshing' and 'good for you.'

You ease up more as Julia and Themmy bicker back and forth about if it's the winner or loser of the day that buys the drinks tonight. Themmy is still a warm presence on top of you, Julia's smile is bright and warm, and she's talking to them, but her eyes are on you.

You can relax. This is your life now. Has been for years. You're okay and need to remember that. Enjoy spending time with your friends.