#ammih

Loki agreed – thankfully no longer pushing for information on my past now – content enough, it seemed, to finally have my, rather shaky, trust. He probably wasn’t going to try to push me any further.

Loki paced the room as he explained, memories returning to me as he spoke, clarifying the vague blurred ones I had dim recollection of. I couldn’t remember anything after having curled up protectively over him on that night, but apparently Loki had regained consciousness shortly afterwards. He had been slightly singed from where the flames had moved in on him before I could pull him away from where had collapsed but found no other damage on his person - somehow protected by a bubble-like shield, the flames and smoke licking up the sides, yet unable to penetrate.

He had thought to rouse me but feared that would put us both in danger – no sure whether the protection would remain if I woke. Instead, he had stayed exactly where he was until the Avengers had finally managed to tackle the blaze, then my still-unconscious body had been moved to the hospital.

I had stopped eating as I listened, too caught up in his words, and Loki now stopped in his tale, looking at me pointedly, refusing to I continue until I took another mouthful.

I obliged him, and he continued to watch me for a few moments before I took another bite and then, now content, Loki carried on.

Loki had apparently been heavily interrogated over what he had apparently ‘done to me’, his denials falling on deaf ears. Thor however, had eventually come to his brother’s rescue - knowing Loki’s true heritage - and claiming that Loki had always struggled with the fire element and would have been past the point of managing any magic.

The conclusion was, then, that I had somehow managed it.

“How is that even possible?” I asked in disbelief.

“You know.” Loki said looking over at me as the idea sunk into my head.

“So, I do have magic?” I breathed, looking down at my hands as though they would suddenly combust into flames.

“Unequivocally.”

“But – I - I’ve never managed to do anything before.” I stated, still staring down at my hands in wonder, looking for any sign of this apparent hidden talent. “And I’ve been trying for years.”

Loki didn’t react to this little insight into my past, seeming to ignore it. “I believe it is strong emotions that brings it out of you – when you get scared or panicked - likely when you’re angry as well.” He informed me, watching my fascination with my hands.

The memory of when I awoke in the medical room returned. I remembered having felt dazed and disorientated, something in me not quite right, then panicking when everyone’s eyes were on me. At that point I felt I lost any control of my body, regressing into my mind, a cloud obscuring my senses and movements.

Loki’s voice had broken through that somehow though, his touch like a cold wave washing over me and slapping me back to myself. It hadn’t lasted though, Loki’s presence suddenly vanishing from my side and I immediately plunged back into the heated storm of my mind. When I sensed him return again I wasn’t willing to risk anything and had desperately searched for his hand, gripping him tightly before I had faded back into unconsciousness.

That had – apparently - been the point that the rest of the people in the room had tried to discuss me again.

My future.

I felt myself tense as Loki spoke, recanting Thor’s questions and the harsh tones of Stark. Loki didn’t tell me exactly what he or the others had said, just that everyone had finally overruled the billionaire’s doubts about me.

“And so, I’m still stuck here?” I asked, glancing back up at Loki. “Until they get this group under control?”

Loki nodded solemnly.

I paused in thought, then dropped my eyes back down to my lap. “Am I a danger?” I asked quietly.

“It’s possible.” Loki admitted, and I appreciated his honesty, painful as it was. “But you won’t be.”

“How? How can you possibly know that?!” I demanded up at him, something in me suddenly snapping.

Loki didn’t seem to react at all at my sudden temper, his face still completely passive. “Because,” He said calmly, looking me straight in the eye. “if you can learn to control it.”

“How can I control it when I didn’t even know I had it?!”

“Practise.” He said simply, now moving from where he had been stood by the window, to my bedside, picking up the now-empty plate away. “But you cannot do that until you are fully recovered.” He told me firmly, the plate suddenly disappearing from his hand in a haze of gold. “Now, you need rest.”

I watched the dish vanish in his grasp, “Fine.” I grumbled, not particularly pleased with his answer, but having to agree with him that I was indeed exhausted. I shifted myself further onto the bed, curling up under the covers, though my gaze remained on Loki, fighting the against the sleep that pulled at my eyelids.

“Are you going to stay?” I finally croaked, watching as Loki now walked around the end of my bed, my mind immediately fearing he was heading for the door.

Loki paused, looking over at me. “If you wish me too.” I nodded, embarrassed by my weakness. It had always been drilled into me to be strong and independent, but I just felt like a terrified, pathetic child right now.

Finally, I had someone to trust – supposedly – and I wasn’t willing to let him leave any time soon.

Loki continued to move around the bed now, but he wasn’t heading for the door, instead he walked to the opposite side of the bed to me, taking up a similar position to the one he had on the first night we’d met -  his back against the headboard, legs up on the bed.

I watched him until he settled, then he glanced over me expectantly, raising a brow and I bit my lip, finally turning over and letting myself fall asleep.

I was suddenly startled awake, snapping my head over to where Loki sat, finding him nursing his hand.

“Are you alright?” I panted, confused.

“I’m fine,” He said, glancing over at me, though - despite his attempt to hide it - I could see the discomfort in his eyes. “I was attempting to wake you and your skin burnt me.”

“Oh no! I’m so sorry!” I cried in shock, quickly sitting upright, staring down at his injured hand.

“Don’t.” He dismissed firmly, looking down at his injury, his whole arm suddenly glowing a brilliant blue as Loki applied his frost giant powers to the burn. The blue eventually faded away again, back to its usual disguise, and he flexed his fingers experimentally, any sign of pain having dissipated from his face.

“I’m out of control.” I mumbled, dropping my gaze to my lap. I was glad he seemed to have healed himself, but he shouldn’t have needed to in the first place. “Maybe you shouldn’t sit so close.” I muttered shifting slightly away from him.

“Don’t.” Loki nearly growled, and you looked up at him in surprise. “You had a night terror. You were scared. I shouldn’t have been so careless.”

“But you shouldn’t have to worry about touching me.” I pointed out.

Loki seemed slightly taken aback by these words and I felt maybe I crossed a line somehow. “You were scared.” He repeated stiffly, “You defended yourself. There is nothing wrong with that. It is instinct.”

“Did you ever do it?” I suddenly asked.

He frowned in question. “Use magic in sleep?” Loki looked like he was going to deny it, but then caught the look on my face, changing his mind. “Yes.” He sighed lightly. “I did. I nearly froze my m – uh – Freya once when she tried to wake me from a particularly bad nightmare.” He mused to himself, recollecting the night. “It was fortunate that she was even more skilled than I and was able to sense the attack before it came and deflect it.” He muttered. “It took a long time for me to forgive myself.”

“Did you ever do it again?” I murmured. He shook his head. “How?”

“She taught me not to.”

“Can you teach me?” I asked hopefully.

Loki’s eyes snapped to mine. “I – I don’t know.” He admitted, and, from his response, it was clear this wasn’t the first time he had thought about it.

“Would you be willing to try?” I implored gently, shifting closer to him again. “Anything would be better than this - this complete anarchy I feel in me right now.”

“You feel it?” He asked with a look of surprise, though his eyes held overwhelming interest.

I nodded, now knowing it was true. “I didn’t know what it was at first,” I confessed. “ – I – I felt the same in the medical bay when I was panicking and then went weird – n-now it makes sense though - but I still don’t know what to do with it.”

Loki studied me for a moment, eyes flickering over my face. “It seems you have awoken something…” He hummed to himself, seeing something in my eyes. I had to look away, his gaze too intense on mine, instead dropping my eyes to the bed linen that still covered my lap.

I jumped when Loki took one of my hands and I felt a sudden rush of heat to my fingers. The trickster seemed to realise what was going to happen just in time, the hand that held mine suddenly turning its natural bright shade of blue again before he could feel any burn.

Loki still didn’t release my hand though, keeping a firm grip on it and - though he’d warned me that his skin burnt people - I felt nothing but a refreshing coolness on my skin.

“It doesn’t hurt?” He asked, though he already seemed to know the answer.

I shook my head weakly, staring down at where our hands met. When Loki didn’t say anything I glanced up, finding him still studying me. He still didn’t release me, instead bringing his other hand – now also beautifully blue with silver marks and ridges – up and laying it carefully against my cheek.

It was cool, almost cold, but it didn’t hurt.

I felt myself flush at his touch and I had to drop my gaze again. Loki suddenly seemed to realise what he was doing and let his hand drop - though he let the other remain in my lap, holding my hand loosely so I could pull away if I wanted to.

“Our magic is complete opposite.” He muttered, and I felt my heart drop. “But magic is magic. The basics at least - I believe - would be similar.” He paused. “I would be willing to try, if you are.”

My heart suddenly skipped. “You’ll teach me?”

“As much as I can.”

Before I realised what I was doing I had thrown my arms around his neck.