#amity rambles

“how much money do we have, eurydice?”

“…two dollars.”

Something about the way p!Scott was so quick to accept that he was going to die.

It's just 20 seconds between them finishing reading the book and him saying "it has to be me Acho."

p!Acho is trying to think of ways around it, ways they can both get out alive, but p!Scott doesn't even try. Even his protest immediately after reading of "surely there has to be another way" feels hollow, like even before he spoke those words he knew there was no other way, and knew it had to be him.

He explains why it should be him almost analytically; 'I'm the big brother, I didn't take care of you enough before, but I can do this now. I need to do this.' He says it like it's obvious.

(also minor aside "we do stupid things for stupid little brothers" BROKE me. He says it so fondly, like, even after all this time, even though I failed you, you're still my stupid little brother. It feels childish, the whispers of a time when things were better, when they were better)

And him acting like his sacrifice, his death, would be the only positive memory p!Acho would have of him is heartbreaking. He fully believes that in all their lives, in the ~20 years they were together, he never did a single good thing for his brother, that he fucked up as a sibling so astronomically that his death would be something p!Acho could remember with any amount of fondness.

And of course p!Scott is okay with dying for p!Acho. I mean, we've all been predicting it from day dot, right? The golden child who places his entire self worth on what other people think of him, and values himself only in what he can do for others? The person who's only regret is not being able to give the world to his little brother? Of course he'd kill himself for p!Acho. That character archetype always dies in some grand sacrifice for the person they love.

But not this time.

That pit was deep, yes, but it was shallow enough they could see the bottom when they looked down it, see the spikes there. And p!Scott watched him fall, he would of seen him land.

(His last image of his brother would of been his broken body on those spikes)

And then the water came down and he left, dead silent, almost robotic in his movements as if on autopilot. Because what else is he to do? His brother just died so he could escape, if he doesn't he'd make that sacrifice worthless.

And then he had to sail home. He had to get on his ship (and there were two on that beach, he had to leave p!Acho's ship there) and sail back to the Faction Isles.

It took a week for him to do that little ceremony by the Nightingale tree (and it couldn't be a proper funeral, because p!Acho's body is still on a far away island, in an underground city, at the bottom of a pit) but the trip back from that island was not a week long. What he did over those days is anyone's guess. Did he isolate himself in his house? Did he throw himself into some project? Did he talk to anyone?

And speaking of talking to anyone, did he tell them? Will he tell them?

Because p!Acho left those notes, but no one knows he actually died. They could, conceivably, live out the rest of their lives in hopeful ignorance, choosing to believe that he survived the quest, but hasn't come back for whatever other reason. p!Scott is the only one that knows with certainty that p!Acho is dead.

So he has a choice to make.

Does he tell people the truth, explain what happened and admit to what I'm sure he sees as his greatest failure yet; failing to save his brother.