#am fic

Ongoing

Oh? You can be normal about Jam Timeloop now can you?

It would be... A shame... If some one were to drop a preview...

You, yeah you! Do you want a not-really-soulmate fic that has tyrus, muffy, ambi, and wonah? Good, here you GO! *chucks fic into the internet and runs away*

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When you met someone important to you romantically, you were drawn to them. They weren’t soulmates, not really. You could still end up in a horrible relationship with someone who you don’t love or doesn’t love you. But, it’s a knowing. A knowing that, them, that person, that is who fate decided you were going to be with, at least for a short period of time. Everyone just called it ‘soulmates’ because that’s what it seemed like. But Cyrus, having four psychiatrist parents, knew it was much more complex. It wasn’t your perfect counter-part for who you were then, it was fate pulling you to someone you might date or who might like you. It was a feeling, not that describable unless you felt it. Which, until seventh grade, Cyrus never had.

Everyone seemed to expect and understand that the boys were generally going to be pulled toward the girls, and the girls would be pulled toward boys. Cyrus had met his two best friends Andi and Buffy in second grade. They were inseparable, the perfect balance of creativity, confidence, and caution. By the time middle school hit, everyone just assumed Cyrus would end up with one of his best friends, or maybe both at different times. But Cyrus never felt that thing, the feeling that he should be in a relationship with either of them. He loved them like he loved his family. He would never want to drift away from his friends, but the feelings the trio had for each other were not romantic. The trio going through sixth grade without any of them being pulled to anyone seemed to further cement that fate had something planned for them. But that all changed when they met Jonah Beck.

Jonah Beck. ‘How do you describe someone so incredible?’, Cyrus had wondered back then. But know, he could clearly see Jonah as he was. Flawed, imperfect, human. Yeah, he might be the literal embodiment of a neutron star and have the soul of a golden retriever puppy on sugar, but he wasn’t always that. As Cyrus and Andi were drawn toward him, they realized that he wasn’t all warm sand on a serene beach or a bubbling brook in a melodic forest. He was a beautiful vase worn and cracked by wear. But as Jonah became a full-fledged member of their group, the trio helped fill those cracks with gold, and Jonah was even more amazing when they saw what a genuine friend and human being he was. He was the whole in the group that they had been missing, a penultimate moment on the ever-winding road that would be Andi’s and Cyrus’s love lives.

Now, Buffy, she never felt that pull toward Jonah. She had entirely different problems, different feelings. Cyrus and Andi had been ready, willing, expectant of their first pull toward someone. Buffy was content to be who she was, she didn’t really think she needed anyone else besides her friends and herself. But, oh, had Marty been what she needed. It wasn’t that overwhelming feeling that Andi and Cyrus got around Jonah. It was a gentle whisper, a small tug that brought her closer to the boy with every second she spent with him. It was a stronger feeling than what she had with anyone. Marty was like a cool breeze you needed just then, the feeling of adrenaline pumping through your system the longer and harder you worked. He was the feeling of when you shoot a basket and you know it was going straight through the hoop. It was a feeling you didn’t even realize until it was gone and you were weary down to your bones. By the time Buffy realized what she felt, Marty was walking away.

The friend group had three massively different first ‘soulmate’ experiences. Two of them had been drawn to the same guy, but one had been much closer to an actual relationship, and another had lost her’s before she could find it. Their second ‘soulmate’ experiences, though. Those were something else.

Andi’s and Buffy’s second were both with the same guy, though Andi met him much earlier when she still felt things for Jonah. Walker Brodsky had been exactly what Andi, and later Buffy, had needed. He had been that stretch you took after slaving over homework for hours, the first rays of sunlight after a gloomy day. He had been the break from the unending drama and pining that the girls had. But in the end, he had just been another push toward Jonah for Andi, and a realization about her feeling for Marty. Luckily, fate had plenty more in store for him.

Cyrus’s also came while he still felt for Jonah. But, god, the feelings Cyrus had for TJ Kippen, even as friends, felt like being hit by a bullet train. TJ had the breeze beneath Cyrus’s wings that lifted him higher than he ever thought he would go. TJ was that two-out, two-strike home run, the storm that just pops into a perfectly clear sky that stayed for a week and kept coming back. He was like the humidity in the south, totally unorthodox and more than a little uncomfortable for someone not used to it, but once you are, you notice it’s disappearance like the loss of one of your hands. He was overwhelming and freeing all at once, a thunderclap and a lightning strike. He was a hurricane that had sucked Cyrus up when he wasn’t paying attention.

Where Jonah had been something undeniable, a crush you knew you were going to end up having, TJ was something that swooped you up and carried you off. You didn’t know where you were going, but you knew you were fine as long as they were there. Cyrus was swept up and quickly left Jonah behind. But a problem with this unpredictability, this polarizing personality, was that Cyrus got hurt. Hard. But Cyrus was lucky it was TJ because TJ would move heaven and earth to destroy anything that hurt Cyrus, even the harsher parts of himself. If anyone was Cyrus Goodman’s soulmate, it was TJ Kippen. And it only took him two tries to reach him.

If only the others were as lucky. Cyrus could still remember all the late night calls from Andi, the afternoons just sitting with Buffy in silence, and the gentle conversations and advice given to Jonah. Andi’s was probably the hardest to figure out, business with Jonah having jumbled things up. It started when they met Jonah’s first ‘soulmate’.

Amber Kippen was a shark in heels. Her blue eyes could freeze people where they stood and a flick of blonde hair was an execution sentence. She and her brother started as the kind of insecure that was masked by sharp words, withering glares, and underhanded acts. She was a raised eyebrow in your direction, an amused smirk where she tried to hide her growing smile. She was the dancer whose emotions turned as easily as her body, the kind of dancing that left your memory foggy after. She was act now and think when it doesn’t hurt anymore. Even after she opened up, she was reckless and judgy, but she was the life of the party and the person you called up when you just wanted to forget. Amber had just been Jonah’s way to Andi, and then later Walker, and Jonah had just been Andi’s and Amber’s way to each other. Amber sparked a fire inside of Andi, and Andi was Amber’s calming hand. The second time Amber and Jonah had gotten together, Andi had thought she was fine. When she realized she was jealous, she thought she was jealous of Amber, but Andi knew that if Jonah came asking to get back together, she wouldn’t do it. It was only until Jonah went to find his next pull did Andi realize how much she just wanted to exist with Amber. And so they existed together.

Buffy’s was by far the simplest but the hardest to convince. When the pull she had toward Walker drained away, she was practically flown into Marty’s arms. Buffy could still feel all the things she did for him, even stronger now, but she refused to acknowledge it. One: because he had a girlfriend, and two: because she was sure she had lost all chances with him. They danced around each other for months. It was exhausting for everyone to watch, and Marty’s girlfriend broke up with him when she realized what was going on. Even then they still didn’t get it. But they were like two magnets drawn together, and they were already together before they noticed what was going on. When they did, the tension grew to a boiling point, and of course Buffy had to burst. She had ranted for a while about how she felt and how she was sorry for pushing him away the first time. Marty, in his usual fashion, took it all in stride and when she was done had taken her hand and told her he didn’t care how long he had to wait, as long as she was waiting at the end of the road, he would walk it. It was very sweet, but Buffy still got embarrassed over it.  

Finally, there was Jonah. After Amber, Andi, a beautiful flower-crown of a girl named Libby, and Amber again, Jonah didn’t really feel pulled to anyone. He just wanted to be alone while he worked himself out, and Cyrus’s stepmom(who ended up as his therapist) said there was nothing wrong with that. Your pull didn’t have to be to a person, just anything that will help you along the track to who you’re supposed to be with. It wasn’t until sophomore year of high school that Jonah was pulled toward someone again. The aforementioned were all together and going strong when Walker walked back into the group’s lives. They had lost touch after middle school, but he moved and was now zoned for their school. They found out that he had dated and gotten dumped by Libby who was now going strong with the captain of the girls’ soccer team at their old school. Jonah was steadily drawn to the boy who seemed to make entire worlds come to life on canvas. Walker, Andi, and Libby all bonded over being pan and Jonah had known he was bi for a while. One day they were hanging out and Jonah was just strumming his guitar and humming when he realized that Walker was staring at him intently. He had asked what was wrong and Walker had replied that Jonah was just too pretty to not be painted and pulled out his supplies. Jonah had blushed the entire time and before he left, he asked Walker out. There were now several dozen pages of song lyrics and hundreds of sketches made by and for the couple.

Andi sat at the booth, anxious as she waited for Buffy and Cyrus to arrive at the Spoon. She'd look up every time she heard the bell chime, only to deflate when seeing another unfamiliar face walk in. She sank back into her chair with a sigh, mindlessly tearing a napkin into pieces while chewing on her bottom lip. Every now and then, she'd look up across the restaurant, behind the bar counter where stood Amber. The latter was staring at her with a frown, smiling whenever the eyes would meet before going back to work while Andi would go back to her nervous fidgeting.

She hadn't talked much to Buffy since the moon festival, nor had she reached out to Cyrus, knowing that whatever she'd tell him would get back to Buffy's ears. Under normal circumstances, she wouldn't mind. They were the Good Hair Crew, they didn't keep secrets from each other. Or so she thought. Andi shook her head and dusted off her hands, trying to rid herself of the bitter thoughts, and let out an umptenth sigh. She stuffed her hands in the frontpocket of her hoodie, fingers brushing against the folded piece of paper she had read and reread, trying to make sense of the words. Not that they held that much meaning, nor did they make sense.

'I wish T.J would return my feelings.'

It was pretty straight-forward, and yet Andi had found herself coming up with one and a million explanations for it. The bell chimed again and she looked up, straightening when catching sight of Cyrus stepping in. She could barely heard whatever story was telling Buffy, the latter looking at the boy with fond amusement and raised eyebrows. Andi found comfort in the familiarity, smiling at Cyrus' exaggerated gestures and Buffy's mock annoyance. Maybe not much had changed. Maybe they'd be able to make sense of things.

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