#alpha!cassian

❤️🤍💜🤍💙

You knew exactly what you were doing, even if you wouldn’t admit to it.

There was a reason you were wandering the halls in nothing but a tiny nightgown, the one that Cassian had complimented you on when he’d barged into your room without knocking one morning before you’d dressed.

You were waiting.

Waiting for your best friends’ ruts to overpower their better judgement when they scented you. They’d warned you to stay locked in your room as often as you could over the next week, not wanting to take advantage of you.

Not that they would be, but you still weren’t ready to confess that they were the only alphas you thought of during your heats, a knotting toy between your thighs as you held their stolen clothing to your nose.

You were tempted to go to the shared bathing chambers deeper in the House of Wind, but decided against it. It would be far more fun for you if you had a chance to run from them before they pinned you to the stone and knotted you-

Your thighs squeezed together for a moment, heat pooling low in your belly just at the thought of being taken by them. Currently you were heading in the direction of the High Lord’s personal library, much smaller than the one the priestesses lived in, but close enough to the alphas’ rooms that they would be able to find you if they opened their doors. It only took a minute or two to reach the large double doors, one of them already cracked. You peeked inside, the overwhelming scent of alphas in rut hitting you, slick beginning to drip down your thighs. You couldn’t see them, but you heard low moans coming from further back in the room.

Slipping inside, you shut the door behind you softly before padding towards the back of the room where the sitting area was. The quiet sound of skin on skin and low groans had you clenching on nothing, anticipation building in your blood. You made it to the bookshelf before the couches before the noises stopped suddenly, two cold shadows wrapping around your ankles.

Oh no, you thought to yourself, heart racing in excitement as you peeked around the corner, coming face to face with Rhys, violet eyes and hulking wings waiting for you right around the bookshelf.

“Pretty ‘mega, what are you doing here?” he crooned, both of his hands grabbing your waist firmly, face diving to your neck a moment later.

“Ah- I just went out for a- a walk,” you stuttered, thoroughly enjoying hit tongue and lips and teeth on your neck, getting dangerously close to your scent gland.

“Should’ve thought better, omega,” Cassian warned, rising from the couch he’d been on with Azriel, the other Illyrian following a second behind.

“Too late now,” Azriel growled as the three of them encircled you, hands pawing at whatever skin they could reach.

Rhys’s hands lifted you off the ground, spinning you away from the other males and towards the couches, and you took the opportunity that a slip of one of his hands gave you, darting off into the library and away from them. Not that you expected, or wanted, to get far, not with the speed and skills the three of them possessed.

However you’d expected to get further than the first bookshelf, Azriel’s shadows clamping around your ankles and sending you sprawling towards the ground, more shadows cushioning your fall and preventing any damage, but stopping you with your face on the ground and ass high in the air, exposed when your nightgown slipped up your torso.

“Silly omega,” Azriel tutted behind you, already teasing your folds with the head of his cock. “Rhys said you felt my shadows, I think you want this,” he said, pushing into you in one thrust, stretching you wide. A shadow slipped over your clit in quick circles, easing the pain as he began to fuck you without letting you adjust, setting a quick pace. Just as you’d wanted, his rut had taken away his gentleness and let him take without babying you, your cunt already quivering when the other alphas joined you.

Rhys didn’t ask before lifting your head up and pushing his cock against your lips, and you opened eagerly, moaning at the taste of him, and again when Azriel brushed your cervix, pain mixing with pleasure deliciously. You tried pressing your hips back as Az thrusted into you but Rhys growled, holding you by your chin to keep you in place for him.

Your eyes were pouty when you looked up at him through your lashes, watering when Rhys hit the back of your throat, gagging slightly around him and clenching around Azriel’s length.

You felt hands on your chest, large fingers slipping below your nightgown to pinch your nipples and squeeze your breasts.

It was perfect, being touched by the three of them at once. All you wished for was a way to take all of them at once, but you felt Azriel’s knot threatening to pop each time he buried himself in you, the squeeze of your cunt only tempting it further. He felt just right in you now, brushing every sensitive spot in you with each snap of his hips, sending you closer to the edge.

Rhys was getting close too, enjoying going as deep into your throat as he could and staying there until you needed to breathe, and you loved the way he gagged you as you brought your fingers to cup his balls, tears spilling from your eyes while he emptied himself in your throat, knot inflating against your lips. He hissed, pulling out of your mouth, cum still leaking from his tip. You chased his cock, licking up the rest of his seed and giving him a cock-drunk smile before your lips parted to moan, Azriel’s shadows sucking on your clit, his own cock spilling inside of you a second later, knot popping inside of you and you tumbled over the edge, milking him as you shook beneath him.

Cassian pushed Rhys out of the way, pressing his cock to your lips and you parted them greedily, though you weren’t certain that he would fit- he was thicker than Rhys, and a little bit longer.

But that didn’t mean you wouldn’t try, and he didn’t seem dissuaded either.

You slid your tongue along the underside of his cock as he slowly pressed into your mouth, and you felt Azriel twitch in your cunt. He probably enjoyed the sight, especially with him having the honor of knotting you. You gagged far faster on Cassian, the sheer size of him making it harder to breathe, and you felt Rhys slip into your mind, far more overpowering than usual with his rut, but you hardly minded as he forced your jaw to relax, letting Cass slide to the back of your throat, his throaty moan more than worth it.

He fucked your mouth slowly, savoring the tightness and trying to buy himself, not wanting the same fate as Rhys, with no sweet omega cunt to bury his knot inside. If you’d been looking, you would have seen Rhys roll his eyes. Instead you felt Azriel’s shadows start again, rubbing your clit quickly, easily sending you over the edge with how stimulated you were. Your moans around Cassian’s cock had him spilling down your throat, knot inflating as he did, and he cursed, a hand knotted in your hair keeping your lips flush to his knot until he was spent. You popped off his cock gasping for air, chest heaving in your nightgown.

You felt wonderful as Azriel tipped the both of you onto your sides, his chest pressing tightly to your back and arms curling around you assertively, the other two alphas kneeling in front of you.

Waiting to claim you next.

You sighed and nuzzled into Azriel’s hold, delighting when he curled a wing around you. You knew it was only a matter of time before his knot went down and you were being fucked by one of his brothers, and you were determined to enjoy your down time with each of them. After all, the end of their ruts could mean the end of your friendship with them.

Or, your mind whispered traitorously, it could end with you claimed by all three.

You clenched at the thought, mentally crossing your fingers that the boys would lose control with you entirely. You’d like nothing more than to be claimed by all of your best friends, and you had a sneaking suspicion that they’d always wanted it too.

You supposed you’d find out over the next week, tied to their knots.

❤️🤍💜🤍💙

I feel cold suddenly and my hands snake around me like I could protect myself from their cold stare. There is no one I know of that has the same fate as me, no one I could share my thoughts with. Loneliness rules my mind. For as long as I can think I’ve wished for a sibling. A sister that would take me in her arms and lend me her favorite dress for a special occasion. A brother that would sit by my side and play chess with me, or ruffle my head when he would pass by.

But that’s not how the covens work. Whenever a witch has more than one child, the magic splits evenly among the children. To maintain the most powerful coven, means to have the most powerful witches, that means that there can only be one who inherits the magical abilities. The stars were in a cruel position the night I was born and I was spared of that magic ability. I’m not sure I could ever forgive myself for being such a burden to my mother.

But there is still hope. Even if I have no direct line to the magic, my blood holds the potency to give my daughter the ancestral magic when I’ll be mated some day.

“What are you doing here?” The familiar voice screeches through the calm hall and echoes over the mounted flames on the walls, shrieking back like they’re fearing what's coming next. It’s the second time tonight that I've got that question.

My head shoots up to the top of the winding staircase where my mother grips the railing with her immaculately pointed nails. Her stare is filled with disbelief and superiority as she descends gracefully. I push off the door, smooth out my crinkled dress and tug a strand of hair behind my ear to look most presentable to her. “I-uh.” I stammer and my fingers slide over my lips like they could pull out a string of lies. My family always demanded honesty from me and they treated me well – I never had to lie one word, not even when I was a child.

“What ruffled your feathers?” She asks impatiently as she steps closer and studies me up and down. “Your dress!” her shocked voice is like a sting to my chest. I follow her line of sight to the torn linen. It's mocking me mutely. Mother leans in and her nostrils flare. “Why are you reeking like you had a roll with a wet dog?”

My palms get sweaty and my fingers drift over my lips.

Lie. Come up with something. Anything.

“Uhm, after the ritual I needed some air.” Good, now mix a small lie under the truth. “I went for a walk and petted the chimera puppies that live down the north river with the Blanchets,” Just one more. “Their little teeth must have gotten caught in my dress when we played.”

She rolls her eyes and waves her hand to me to follow her upstairs. Thank the Cauldron she swallowed it. “Hideous beasts. It always escaped my understanding why they breed them. But I must say I’m impressed by your community spirit. Upholding good relations with other covens is an important part of our society. Remember, one hand washes the other.” She holds up her manicured index as she lectures me.

We come to a halt in front of my rooms. “You will take one of our guards next time you go for a nightly walk. There are too many dangers out there.” I know she means well, I’m just a human and her only child. She would be devastated if something happened to me. 

She takes a step closer, seeing that the only thing holding me together is the tiredness. But there is something else in her eyes…frustration and disappointment. “The ritual will work eventually, child. Do not worry. We’ll try again next week. Do not lose hope.” I’ve heard that speech more times than I could count and right now I’m not sure if she says it to me or to soothe herself.

“Take a bath and wash off that disgusting smell.” Then she closes off the distance to place a protective hand on my belly and rubs it like she does it since I've been a child and puts a light kiss to the crown of my hair. “Sleep well, treasure.”

My heart blossoms every time she uses my nickname. It assures me that I mean the world to her, even if I’m not perfect.

“Good night mother.” I smile at her but she’s already turning around and vanishes. Only the lingering swirls of black glitter are left.

The door handle squeals as I enter my rooms and I let it fall into its lock behind me.

“Where have you been?” The unamused voice hisses and I find a set of emerald eyes on a black canvas of fur that stare at me angrily from the bed.

“Nowhere.” I say nonchalantly and find the matchbox to light the candles in the classic non-magical way. 

Feather light paws tap over the polished wooden floor as I turn around to get to the next sconce. I take another step. “Tell me!” his angry voice mewls at me just when my foot hooks into the feline. I stumble and almost trip over myself, kicking the inky furry accidentally into the air.

He hisses at me and jumps on the mantlepiece gracefully, just so he can look down on me with arrogance and feigned hurt. 

“Beelz, for the last time – stop spinning around my feet when you know exactly where I am walking!” 

I light the last candle right next to him and raise a brow at the beautiful black cat. His ears are flat against his small head as he licks between his toe beans, pretending I’m not there. “You still haven’t told me where you were.” He retorts indifferently. 

I raise my chin and pull on his tail playfully when I know I’m out of reach of his clawed paw. The scratches on my arm count that we’re even. I snicker as I walk past him but he scrunches up his little nose. “And why do you smell like dog?”

My mother and Beelz said that. Perhaps a stray marked the stone I sat on and I haven't noticed it. “That’s none of your business.” I counter as I peel out of my dress and leave it on the spotless floor as I make my way over to the bathroom. My heart beats fast again, the incident of tonight still lingering on my thoughts.

White marble greets me like an uninviting hall of an infirmary. It's cold against my feet just like the flawlessly polished walls. Dark velvety curtains are draped to perfection around the ceiling eating windows that allow a glance over the gardens and let the night inside. I light the candles as the hot steam from the filling tub curls around the flames. The last undergarments are gone and I dive into the relaxing bubbles. 

“Come on, YN. Tell me please! You’ve been to the forest again, haven't you?” Beelz begs and jumps on the corner of the tub where my foot rests. “I’ve been waiting for you the whole night. And you forgot to leave the door to the balcony open. I considered scratching the wallpaper and the bed frame as a reminder.” He says cockily and dips his head to lick some of the bubbles. 

I sigh and put a wet cloth on my forehead. “Yes, I was in the woods after the ritual.”

He stops licking for a second and mumbles around his snout. “Your mother will freak out if she ever finds out that you go there.”

“I know.”

“What else happened? Usually you’re just exhausted when you come back and crash at an instant.” He sits up straighter and pushes out his chest while tilting his head to the side. “Today, you’re different. Restless.”

My eyes fly around the chilly hall-like bathroom – add a floor length mirror and a ballet class of at least ten dancers could have their dress rehearsal here. I gaze out the foggy window, the blurred silhouette of the crescent moon looking back at me.

“I met someone.” I mumble and hide my lips beneath the surface.

Beelz is on all fours, his back arched, hackles raised. “You what?” he meows with popped eyes. 

“I was in the stone circle again and there was this man.” Flashes of Cassian pressing against me invade my mind. The hot water around me is nothing in contrast to his welcoming body heat. 

Bellz’s eyes grow wider, pressing me for more answers. “He’s a peaceguard.”

“You always had a thing for knights in shiny armour…” he trails off but his eyes go soft. “Was he pretty?” He’s always in for my secrets.

“Devestatingly…” his mesmerizing eyes look back at me in my mind and my pulse begins to race. “We talked and he was nice. Really nice and charming. He even wanted me to show him a card trick.” My words fade away and smile to myself at the memory. No need to tell him that I almost kissed a stranger. He’d yell at me for being too reckless anyways. But I do not regret it.

“Wow, that's a new one.” Beelz looks astonished. “When was the last time you could show one to Morgana?”

When I was eight. It was clear early on that I had no magic inside of me. To make up for that, I began to learn magic tricks and the ones with cards fascinated me most. I wanted to prove to my mother that I had at least some kind of magic. But she never was impressed by that. My parents called me out after the third week in a row when I constantly tried to show them new ones, telling me that I better focus on my studies instead of pointless children's games. I’ve never tried to show them after that. I have kept it to myself since then. 

And to Beelz of course.

He sighs, recognizing my sinking heart. He frowns while balancing on the slippery rim before he sits on the corner next to my head, purring. “Can you show me once more how you do that thing with the three cups and the marble? I’m sure I’ll see how you do it this time.”

He can be very sweet if he wants to. Especially if he’s trying to cheer me up. I smile at him and lean my head towards his, so he can scrunch his whiskers against my cheek. He’s my only friend. 

“I’ll show you tomorrow. But honestly by now you should know how I do it.” We chuckle and my thoughts drift again to the handsome peaceguard.

“What else did he do?” Beelz asks. “He must be special if you’re not able to wash that stupid smile from your face.” 

“I’m not smiling.” my cheeks rise and he gives me a shit eating grin. 

I stare holes into the air as I go on. “I don’t know, he was just…Good. The way he looked at me. No one has ever looked at me like that. Like he could see into my soul and see me.”

“Someone’s having a crush.” He says proudly and sits comfortably like he’s the king in person. Sometimes I think he was a royalty in a life before this one. 

“Am not!”

“Poor girl is in denial.”

“Okay. Maybe a little crush.” My smile widens and I hide my face behind my hands while I squeal. “But you can’t tell anyone!” I warn him, tapping his cute nose.

He sneezes from the drop of water I left there and I chuckle at the droplets he shoots at me.

“When are you meeting him again?”

“Next Sunday, after the ritual.”

I leaf through the book before me without even trying to actually read the words I’m supposed to study. I hate mathematics. All the formulas filled with a bunch of letters of the alphabet and complicated derivations. It bores me so much that I have to reward myself after reading three pages of the proof by sneaking into the kitchen to grab some sweets or even just a glass of water to escape those horrible pages. But not even my other subjects can conquer the thoughts that rule my mind. Its like I’m possessed by Cassian.

This week I have gone to the city a ridiculous number of times, just because I hoped to see him there. I also took longer walks than usual, anticipating to run into him accidentally. Waiting to meet him feels like torture but today is Sunday, and we’re meeting later in the woods. 

“I’m talking to you.” my mother scolds me and I jump in my chair at her voice.

“I’m sorry, I’m just tired today.” I say massaging my temples and bite my tongue at the dishonesty.

“You have been off this whole week.” she sneers under her breath. She’s right, I haven't been myself for the past few days. Since I met Cassian my mind follows the thread he holds in my head. His genuine smile and his raspy voice haunt me. I have a sizzling feeling in my gut permanently. My mother probably has a potion for that in her arsenal. Not that I would take it. I like how the butterflies roam inside of me at the thought of him. 

“Are you nervous because of your appointment with the Augur next week?” her voice slices my thoughts.

I almost forgot about that.

I’ll turn 22 next week. ‘Coming of age’ is what the elders around me like to call it. Everyone in our world has to see an Augur on that day. She’ll tell me what my life beholds, how my future will be. Not straight away…it’s more like a prophecy, a riddle that haunts you for your whole life and you try to meet it as best as you can. As far as I know, those are quite accurate.

But no matter what the Augur tells me, I’ll be happy to follow my duty and my future. That’s what my parents want from me.

“No, it’s not bothering me, mother.” I say truthfully.

“Maybe it’s your circle. You’re always jittery when it comes closer.”

“Yes, perhaps it’s that.” I sigh and look down to the pages again. The hazel eyes of a certain peaceguard flash across my mind and my cheeks turn pink. I hide one cheek with my palm as my index glides over the lines on the page – Swirls and letters of derivations that mean absolutely nothing to me evade my focus, but I try. “Please, could you explain this to me again.”

Cassian

“Anything new, lieutenant?” my captain asks with his head peeking from the ajar door. His tone is annoyingly nice.

“Nothing yet.” I throw the pencil across the scattered sheets on my work desk and lean back with a sigh, my hand drifting through my hair again.

He opens the door fully and leans against the threshold with crossed arms and a frown on his face. “Maybe start all over again. Take a look at the places where the victims vanished again. Perhaps you’ve brooded over those reports too often. One step back might bring you one step forward.” 

I’ve been working on that case for months. People, mostly wolves, have been disappearing in and around the woods for months. There are indications that it has been going on for years but I can't make sense out of it. In all those months there hasn't been one witness. Not one.

This is not surprising, because especially the woods are forbidden to most of the city dwellers. Too dangerous is the no-mans-land. We as peaceguards are protecting the law inside of the city, but the forest around is huge and thick. 

My mind drifts to the girl I met last week in the stone circle. A simple but shatteringly beautiful human girl all alone by herself in that dangerous forest. I would never forgive myself if something happened to her on that day.

Anger rises in my chest and my mind grows wild. Heat runs down my spine and my hackles rise. I shove the loose papers from my desk, some of them shredded by the claws that are growing on the ends of my fingers. 

“You’ve always been too hot headed.” captain says, taking in the chaos with cool indifference. 

I look around the chards of papers that cover the floor of my office and my hands drift over my face nervously in hope to calm me down again. “Fuck. I’m sorry.” I huff.

He pushes off the wood and grabs the brass knob of the door. “You better call it a day. Enough work for now. Head out, take a breather, stroll around for a bit and calm down.” he advises with a half-smile. “Take tonight off and start fresh tomorrow.” he pushes the door completely open and waves his hand for me to exit. 

The chair beneath me squeals as I get up and cross the distance to pass him. He pats my shoulder. “We don’t want to cause your rut from all the stress.” he chuckles and closes the door behind me. 

He’s a good captain, even if he’s only a beta. Even though he's beneath me in rank in the wolf world because he’s a human, he earned his status in the peaceguards. He got there, because he’s worked his ass off and without being a true werewolf. Usually the alphas fill those positions for obvious reasons… natural authority, high physicality, and leadership.

I was born an alpha. At first I was weak and thinner than the others, but I fought my way up to the top. And I intend to go even higher to change some things in the law of the wolf-world. I wasn't an easy child, so my mother enrolled me in one of the training camps when I was eight. Every wolf has to go there at some time, but I was there two years early. It’s cruel and unforgiving. It was like I was an orphan all of the sudden, but I stayed as strong as I could. There, I met Rhysand and Arzriel. They’re alphas too. We had our brawlings and more conflicts than I could count but somehow, we grew together as a pack. But we’re more than just the usual hierarchy…instead of one alpha per pack, we’re three and planning on staying together like that.

Rhysand has already found a mate. A lovely omega named Feyre. For years, Az had a thing for Mor but recently his focus shifted to someone else, but the fucker isnt telling us who the lucky female is. I had my fair share of women over the years, female wolves and other shifters but it was never enough to settle. The last relationship I had was with Nesta, Feyre’s older sister. Strong minded and with a shitload of trauma she had to overcome. Her friends helped but we grew apart. She’s an alpha and we banged our heads constantly. Our breakup was for the best. I never cared about what my partners were as long as it worked out.

But since last week my mind is insatiable thirsting after one special girl.

YN.

She’s occupying my mind like no other before. The way she laughed and held her cards in her soft and tiny hands is turning my world upside down. Her delicious smell hovering in my mind and I’m sure I smelled her sometimes when I was in the city. I looked around but never saw her, she had been there sometime ago. I know it. I could never forget that sweet fragrance. The faint smell of her lingered on my shoulder when she was pressed against me last sunday. It’s like having an angel on my right side. 

And I knew that I was a goner when she almost closed off the distance between us. I would have given anything to kiss her. I always had been a physical male but with her…it’s different. It's like she enthralled me with a spell and I don’t want it to stop. 

Still, I have no idea why exactly she had been in the woods that night. I followed her into the thicket but lost her trace at some point, like there was a barrier that veiled her from me. I hope she got home safe. I haven't properly slept since then, counting the hours until I’ll see her again. What will be in a couple of hours.  

I cross the moon gate that leads into the forest. The cold air is a nice contrast to my ridden nerves. For the past weeks I have been patrolling the forest at night to find out how those people vanish. But I push those thoughts to the side as I approach the stone circle. 

She’s already there. I stop in my tracks, rooted to the ground. Sitting on that rock like last time, humming a sweet tune like she has no worries at all. The breeze weaves her perfume towards me and I inhale her deeply. Something like peace settles inside of me and I can feel a tug in my heart.

“Hey sweetheart.” I call out to her and she spins around with the brightest smile. I cross the distance and I can hear her heartrate shoot up, just like mine. They pound in sync like a secret melody in the calm woods of tonight. 

“You came!” she smiles and stands, leaving her deck of cards on the mossy surface of the stone. Her eyes gaze up and down my body. I’ve changed my uniform for some casual trousers and a loose henley that gives her a good look at my chest. It's like she can't decide where to look but her gaze lingers on my lips for a second too long as if she thought about our almost-kiss just as much as I did. 

I smirk and take her small hands in mine, they’re cold at the tips like she has been waiting for me for too long already. “Course I did. I was worried you’d try to impress the trees with your card tricks instead. Couldn't let that happen.”

Her little laugh has my chest blossoming. “So, how was your week?”

Her smile falters and breaks altogether. Silver lines at the edges of her eyes. I frown and smell the stress that evades her body. My smirk disappears instantly as she sniffs. “Hey, hey…” I step into her and let my hands brush her upper arms in a soothing sweep. I search for her gaze, letting my voice drop into a warm soundless purr. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” she whispers, shaking her head but her voice betrays her. “It was just…rough.”

She said the same thing last week but she held herself together. The days since I last saw her must have been devastating to her and I fear that she might be more broken next week. How long has she been enduring this pain? What if she’s getting worse with every week?

I have to know, I stay close, solid as a wall, so she can cling to me like ivy in the cracks of an old structure. My thumbs draw gentle circles on her arms. “Rough how?”

Her throat works heavily. “My family has…expectations. Sometimes it feels like they’re trying to squeeze something out of me that isn't there.” She lets out a bitter, shaky laugh. “Like…torture, really.”

My jaw clenches at her words. What the hell are they doing to her? My gaze never leaves hers, there is no judgement but a good portion of pity that’s slowly mixing into anger towards her family. “Sounds like they’re the problem. Not you.”

My words hit her and her eyes light up like sunlight breaking through the clouds after a storm. As if no one ever said it that way before. “You don’t…see me as less?” she asks softly.

I suppress a frown and leave it at a gentle curve of lips. That’s ridiculous! “Less? Sweetheart, I’ve seen people with power crack under pressure like eggshells. I don’t know exactly what you’re going through, but I can tell that you’re very strong. You’re still standing. That's more strength than most have.”

My mission is complete as her cheeks flush and her smile is back on her pretty face. “You can’t just say things like that,” she whispers, tucking her chin down.

I cup her chin and lift it up, forcing her gently to look at me again. “Hey,” I grin, the cockiness is back. “At least that nearly earned me a kiss last time.”

Her eyes go wide and her cheeks heat up even more, it’s cute. “You– remember that?”

“Hard to forget when your breath was on my lips just before getting denied.” I lean just close enough to challenge her for a brush of our lips. “Though I’m starting to think you enjoy teasing me.”

A smile blesses her lips as she shoves my chest lightly. “Maybe I do.”

She collects her precious cards and we sit on the stone again, one arm around her middle. Her body is shivering a bit and I regret leaving my cloak back at the station. I pull her in closer, my body heat has to warm her. My eyes run over her arms, where her dress exposes her skin. It looks like she has been rolling in paint and failed to wash it away. Perhaps she likes to paint. 

We sit in silence for a bit, just enjoying being close to each other. I consider not washing myself for the rest of the week, just so that her smell stays on me when I cannot see her. I sigh heavily thinking of a way to meet her sooner this time, my shoulders heavy. I just can't stay away from her.

“How have you been doing the last few days?” she asks, placing her head on my shoulder.

“My week wasn't great either. First, I wasn't able to see you.” That earns me a chuckle from her, the sweetest melody. “Second…we’re chasing leads that go nowhere. People keep vanishing and…it feels like I’m failing them.”

She reaches out, her fingers brushing me where she rests them on my thigh. Her palms burn marks into my skin and I never want her to stop touching me. “You’re not flailing. You’re here. You’re trying. That’s what matters. I’m sure you’ll find out who does this soon”

The forest melts away as our gazes meet. “Careful,” I murmur with a wry smile tugging at the corners of my mouth. “Say things like that and I might not let you go.” I pinch her side lightly and she jumps from the tickle just enough to crash into me fully. I pull her in my lap and wrap both my arms tightly around her as if I’m afraid that she might want to run away. Soft eyes clash with mine and all I want to do is pepper kisses all over her face. Her breath catches as we’re wrapped in quietness, it’s like she too feels whatever this is between us, like it's too fragile to put a name on it. 

Moments stretch into eternity as I lose myself in her eyes. At last she pulls back carefully and we stand but she’s still in my arms. The bell of the church’s tower rings out three times and I know that our time is over. She rises onto her toes, pressing a briefest kiss to my cheek. Her pillowy lips are warm and I just know my stubble is scraping her. It ignites just the same thing in her that I feel, too. The faintest smell of her building arousal drifts to my nose and I get drunk on it.

“Thank you,” she whispers. “For cheering me up.”

I can't move. I can't breathe. Like the kiss has stolen my mind from me. She steps away and just then I notice a soft smirk that's plastered on my face. “Next time, sweetheart… aim a little closer.” I wink at her.

Her face lights up once more and her flushed cheeks burn against the night. I take one of her hands again and place a kiss there as goodbye. I want to keep her close but I know she has to go. 

Images of the feral wilderness that surrounds us flash through my mind and fear creeps up inside of me. I have to protect her at all costs. “Let’s stop meeting here. It’s too dangerous.” My brows furrow as I plead. “How about Tuesday, at noon, at the market?”

With a quick nod and a smile she promises to meet me there before she hurries into the trees and seconds later.

I take a deep breath and let my senses be flooded by our evening. She’ll be the death of me. Then, I stride with soundless steps in her direction to accompany her home from where she can't see me. 

I almost lose her smell in the woods but then I hear fast paws approaching. 

Four.

They’re swift.

It’s a wolf. 

My heart flutters as pure terror burns through me. 

It’s following her. 

My feet begin to work before my mind knows what I’m doing. I sprint and follow, trying to catch up as quickly as I can.

Suddenly, the calm of the night is ripped by a low growl and the snapping of sharp teeth. It ululates, like a predator that’s found its prey just before I hear bones snap.

Then a scream. Ice floods my chest. My heart stops.

YN.

[PART ONE]

[PART THREE]

🩶❤️🤍❤️🩶

Your nightmare had come true.

On all the tabloids and magazines was your face, your name, the details of your relationship. And of course, you’d only found out once you’d finished your commute to work.

Call after call reached your desk all day, reporters asking for more details on your relationship with the Cassian and the Nesta. Each time, you shut them down. Halfway through the day, you stopped answering it altogether.

“Y/N, come in here please,” you boss, Ianthe, called out, causing every head in the office to turn towards your desk. You made your way to her office as quickly as you could, ready for any reprieve from your coworkers’ eyes. Once you were settled into the chair in front of her desk, a grin broke over her face. “So are you really dating Nesta and Cassian? Have they marked you yet? What are they like, in person?” The questions came out rapid fire, leaving you no time to process, let alone answer, each one.

“You called me in here to… talk about my love life?” you asked incredulously. “Isn’t that a bit unprofessional?”

“What is unprofessional, Y/N, is not answering your phone when it could be clients calling. I think you should just go home for the day, if you’re not going to dish,” Ianthe said, admiring her manicure instead of looking at you. “Scoot, scoot. I don’t have all day to deal with you and your drama.”

You rolled your eyes at her and stood, returning to your desk to grab your things. On the elevator ride down to the bottom floor, you checked your phone. Missed calls and several apologetic texts from your alphas, but nothing could have prepared you for the view from the lobby.

Outside were dozens of paparazzi, far too many for you to evade, especially since you had taken the train to work today. You slipped into the bathroom, hoping that no one had noticed you, then dialed Cassian’s number. He didn’t have practice today, and was more likely to be able to pick you up.

“Baby, I’m so sorry, I didn’t mean for our relationship to be out like this,” Cassian pled, voice desperate.

“I know, Cass, I just… I’m leaving work now and there’s a crowd outside, waiting for me…”

“I’ll be there in fifteen minutes, baby, just hold on for me. I’ll call you when I’m pulling up.”

“Okay, I’ll see you soon,” you sighed, then hung up. Your eyes went wide when you heard the bathroom door open, and you ducked into a stall and locked it. The less people who know where you are, the better.

“Can you believe that’s the omega they chose? They were a perfect couple, but with her?” one of the women sneered. “I don’t know how they stand it. I bet her scent isn’t even good, she looks like she smells of smoke and fertilizer.”

The other women laughed with her, your heart sinking as you realized they were talking about you.

“Don’t judge a book by its cover, I would guess that her scent is addictive to them, and that’s why they overlook how ugly she is.”

“Or she’s a freak in bed,” a third woman tittered, the other two joining in.

“No matter what, they could do better. I mean, Nesta Archeron alone could have anyone she wanted, but with Cassian Moore? Even a mated omega would leave their alpha for them.”

“Are you speaking for yourself?”

“Of course, I would leave James in a heartbeat if Cassian and Nesta asked me to date them. And I’d gladly beat that bitch to the ground to earn her place,” the first woman boasted.

“Sure you would, Ms. Manicure,” one of her friends teased, and their footsteps led towards the door. “She’d be easy to beat, I’m sure. The ugly ones always are.”

The door shut, leaving you alone in the silence of the bathroom once more.

Were you really that bad looking?

A few minutes later, your phone rang. Cassian. You didn’t bother answering, and merely made your way out of the bathroom and to the entrance, doing your best to keep your head down and face unrecognizable. Maybe they didn’t have your looks memorized yet.

A black sedan pulled up just as you opened the doors, and flashes overtook your vision.

How Cassian and Nesta endured this on a regular basis, you would never understand.

You pushed your way through the crowd of cameras, overwhelmed by the sound of your name being shouted from every direction. The car door swung open just as you reached it, your boyfriend’s face bringing a sense of calm as you dove into the car, slamming the door shut behind you. The noise instantly died down, giving you room to breathe.

“I am so sorry, sweetheart, neither Nesta or I were expecting this to happen,” Cassian apologized, easing the car back into the street.

‘I know, Cass,” you sighed, taking the hand that he offered and nuzzling your cheeks against it. His normally calm winter wind and ember scent was plagued with panic and worry, and not near as soothing as you needed. You pressed a kiss to the back of his hand, a soft smile on your face when his scent cleared slightly. “Is Nessie okay?”

Cass shook his head, a frustrated sigh leaving his lips. “I’m not sure how she’s feeling, she decided to finish up her work before coming home, and asked me to look after you until she’s back. I have a feeling she’s angrier than I am about this.”

You nodded in agreement. Nesta had the fiercest temper of the three of you, though Cassian’s still rivaled hers when provoked. And with the lengths Nesta had gone to, keeping your relationship secret from the world at your request, you knew that she would be furious with whoever had leaked the information. All you hoped was that she could let it go for the night - you had a feeling you’d need to nest and snuggle with your alphas for the entire night while some silly sitcom played in the background.

The car ride went by too slowly once you noticed two cars trailing you, likely desperate paparazzi hoping to get a picture of the two of you together.

Thankfully, Cassian and Nesta’s apartment had a private parking lot, and only residents with key cards could enter or exit the garage. Your nerves were still high when Cassian opened your door and helped you out of the car with his gentle hands.

“Do you want my jacket?” he asked, already shrugging the fabric off and settling it over your shoulders. His scent enveloped you and you took a deep breath, your exhale taking your fear with it. “Better?”

“Yes,” you sighed, omega content now that you’d been calmed by your alpha.

“Let’s get inside, then,” Cass said, leading you to the elevators with an arm around your waist. The trip up usually felt long, but when Cassian tugged you into his side and pressed a kiss to the crown of your head? It went by in a blink.

He corralled you into the apartment, hauling you into his arms the moment the door was shut and locked, and you were safe in the privacy of your home once more. Even if you didn’t technically live here, it still felt like home to you, considering that you nested here, your alphas were here, and you felt safest here.

“What do you think, should we eat something or take one of those fancy bubble baths that you love so much?” Cassian asked, bouncing you in his arms like a baby. You giggled a lightly slapped his arm, though you really had no problem with how he was manhandling you.

“I think a bubble bath,” you whispered, grinning when Cassian took off for the bedroom. He set you on the bed, and immediately set to pulling out a bath bomb, bath salts, and candles, everything that made for a perfect bath.

Once he was in the bathroom, your worries came rushing back. What those women had said, the fact that the picture on all of the front pages was of you naked in bed with Cassian and Nesta, taken when you’d stayed at a hotel a few cities away two nights ago, through the slightly open curtains.

Cassian returned and you forced a smile on your face. No need to burden him with your worries, not when he was being so thoughtful.

The water was delightfully hot when you slipped into it, Cassian following a moment behind. Lavender greeted your senses, the soothing smell making you sleepy in only a few minutes. You laid in Cassian’s hold until the water turned cool, and only then did you pull yourself from the water. Cassian dried you off and dressed you in your fluffy robe that had migrated from your apartment to theirs a few months back.

You padded into the bedroom without him, beelining for the closet that held your nesting fabrics. Inside was an overflowing cornucopia of all that you needed to make a perfect nest to hide from the world with your alphas.

You heard Cassian’s fond chuckle just before his arms wrapped around you from behind, stopping you mid-movement as you were laying out a plush blanket. “Did you want me to run out and get any special food or drinks? I’ll be quick,” he said softly.

“I suppose… you could get me my usual snacks and an energy drink?”

“Right away, sweetheart. I can’t wait to see your nest all finished.” Cassian’s words sent heat to your cheeks, his sweetness always made you feel so special. You gave him a kiss once he was dressed and walked him to the front door, and once it was shut you returned to your nest in an instant.

You took your time building your nest, disappointed when it was finished and Cassian had yet to return. Slipping out of your robe, you put on a soft nightgown and crawled into your nest, turning the tv on to find something to watch.

You were halfway through a romcom when you heard the front door open, two voices sounding in the main room. You almost jumped out of your nest to run and greet them, but you only had to wait ten seconds for Nesta to pass through the bedroom doorway, her eyes instantly on you.

“Oh, love, I’m so sorry,” Nesta said tearfully. “I swear we had no idea this would happen, and I am going to kill that hotel for not keeping their window-washers from swapping out with non-employees. But- how are you? Do you need anything else beyond what Cassian grabbed?”

The smile on your face was bright as you reached out for her. “Only my alphas in my nest.”

Nesta grinned back, then turned to the closet to find something more comfortable to wear. By the time Cassian entered the room with a tray laden with snacks and various drinks, Nesta was already curled against your right side.

“My girls are so pretty,” Cass cooed as he dove into your nest, claiming your left side and pulling Nesta tight against you with one arm. “Snacks, anyone?”

Two movies later and you were feeling calmer than you had since seeing the news, but insecurity still lingered in your chest.

“Do I… Are you guys embarrassed of me?” you asked in a small voice, hiding your head against Nesta’s chest.

“Why would you say that, sweetheart?”

“Well, I- there were these girls, talking in the bathroom at my work…”

“And?” Nesta asked, voice sharp even as a hand ran up and down your arm gently.

“They were talking about how…” you paused, trying to keep from bursting into tears immediately. “How I’m not pretty enough for both of you, and you only like me for my scent.”

“That’s bullshit, Y/N. We love you because you’re you, amazing and perfect and so beautiful,” Cassian gushed.

“And we do love your scent, but it’s because it’s your scent. We love you for you, sweetheart,” Nesta murmured into your ear. "We are your alphas, and you are our omega. Nothing will ever change that, and we are in no way embarrassed of you. In fact, Cassian and I have been looking forward to taking you everywhere with us, once you’re comfortable of course.”

You sniffled, wiping your eyes before raising your head, just in case a stray tear had fallen on your cheeks. “You- you are?”

“Of course, princess,” Cassian said softly. “We’ve wanted nothing more than to show the world who our perfect omega is, but we knew how uncomfortable you were with being in the spotlight.”

“I hadn’t realized…” you trailed off for a moment. “I didn’t know that you wanted to show our relationship that badly. I'm sorry..."

"You don’t need to apologize, Y/N,” Nesta said as she patted your arm reassuringly. “We know just how brutal public attention can be, and we never once felt like our relationship was lacking without being public. You are perfect, and I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Nessie. Gosh, I sound so silly,” you laughed wetly.

“No you don’t, sweetheart. Those women however…” Cassian shook his head, anger leaving with it. “I love you. Don’t you ever forget that.”

“And I love you, Cass. I love both of you so much.”

“Good, because you’re ours,” Nesta giggled, pressing her lips to your neck.

Maybe it wouldn’t be so terrible, being in the limelight, so long as you had Nesta and Cassian by your side, reassuring you.

🩶❤️🤍❤️🩶

The past month and a half had passed so swiftly, you could hardly believe it. Your days were filled with overseeing a few details of construction, and picking out every last piece of furniture that would be in your bakery, apartment, and garden. You and Mor went on lunch dates every Thursday, and most your other lunches were spent with Rella and sometimes Arana after shopping, or with Marcus between stints of supervising the construction.

Your dinners you spent alone most of the time, dedicating yourself to cooking every last recipe in your Night Court Favorites cookbook, enjoying your love for cooking as well.

The time you spent in your hotel room was either passed by reading the Healer of Time series that Gina had recommended to you, or creating your menu pamphlet for when you are finally prepped and ready to open your bakery.

It was completed already, and sent off to the printers for a custom metal press to be made. You had decorated it with a drawing of your bakery on the front, and the name Sparaiya Bakery. The rest of the pages were filled with drawings of your pastries, with the ingredients and, in some cases, added benefits next to them.

Construction had gone by quickly, and you could hardly believe it when finally, your large custom pink marble tub was flown onto the second floor of your bakery by three very strong Illyrians. It was a foot wider than your wingspan, and deep enough that you could float in it, and it also had pretty good veining done on it at your request. It was by far the most expensive piece of furniture on your second floor, coming in at 1,175 gold marks. But you didn’t care, you wanted your dream tub.

The most expensive thing in your bakery by far were your ovens, each one coming in at 2,000 gold marks with a lifetime warranty, and in a soft, pale blue. You have ten stoves in total, seven of them were against the wall separating the kitchen from the front room, taking up the expanse of it. Each are on an elevated platform so that you could see inside of them without needing to bend over. The other three were against the back wall of the building, slightly smaller oven sizes but with a stovetop on each of them, so that you were able to make the filling that some of your pastries require.

The kitchen was completely done at this point, as was the front room of the bakery. Your kitchen was decorated with the pale blue stoves as well as matching cabinetry with silver handles, and white marble countertops with silver veining. The wide window you had took up half of the wall in the center of it, allowing for more cabinets, as you would likely need them for all of your bakeware and ingredients.

The kitchen was exactly how you’d imagined it when you had envisioned it a month ago, as was the front room.

You had the cedar logs of bakery and it’s furniture stained slightly darker, wanting it to have the cozy feeling of a darkened cabin in winter. The log chairs and benches all had different shades of pastel cushions attached to the seats, and the backs of the chairs. The tables were beautiful as well, the carpenter, a kind beta named Oren, had done a fantastic job on all of the wooden furniture you had.

And the display cases Arana had made for you were lovely, two on each side of the wooden counter Oren had also made for you. Arana had made them of matching wood, with a glass dome on one side, and sliding glass doors on the back facing where you would be standing. The shelves were also made of glass, and you’d had Rella enchant them to be unbreakable, just in case.

There was also a counter running along the back wall of the front room, matching the counters in your kitchen, as well as having the same cabinets below.

Your fireplace- it was exactly what you had wanted, made of different shades of grey stone, and positioned on the left wall, even with the midpoint of the dining area.

Your front door had yet to arrive, but the artist working on it was bringing it by in the next week.

The upstairs was nearly finished as well, your bathroom, personal kitchen and bedroom were all fully decorated. Your bathroom and kitchen were both done in a soft, baby pink color, matching the marble of your tub perfectly. You had a small round dining table, perfect for four, made by Oren in the same stained wood as everything else. In front of your fireplace on the right hand wall, you had a matching couch placed parallel to it, and two chairs placed of to the sides and slightly in front of it, with end tables on either side of the couch.

And your bedroom was absolutely perfect, your nest filled with blues of nearly every shade, with white and silk thrown in every now and then. So many pillows, you have so many pillows. Back in Winter, you had been so focused on your grandmother that you hadn’t even truly settled back in, and your nest was one of the things you had consistently neglected.

But not anymore. From now on, you would honor your omega’s wishes, perhaps even find an alpha who would treat you right in the next few years.

You had a few bookshelves lining a wall of your room as well, and you were determined to fill them all in the next three years with books you’ve read while living in Velaris.

Everything about your apartment upstairs was perfect, you couldn’t have been happier with any other turn out.

And truly, the main thing left for you to do before you could declare your bakery’s construction complete is your garden. The enchantments are complete, including ones to keep the planters waterproof to avoid any possible leakage, as well as keeping the air crisp and humid for your soon-to-be plant babies. You have yet to fill the planters already in place with dirt, or pick up the plants from Winter though.

But that was your main goal for the next week.

You had finally moved in the night before, after Marcus had given you the all clear. Your bill with him came out to be 120,000 gold marks, and every single one of them was well spent, as you had your perfect bakery and perfect apartment.

You had woken up this morning and made tea for yourself in your kitchen, and stared out at the lovely view you had from your massive window. There were a few younger fae out already, skating along the Sidra. It had yet to unfreeze, the temperatures had stayed low ever since you had arrived in town.

You almost felt like winter was holding on a bit tighter, just for you.

You finished your tea and breakfast around nine, then got ready for the day, dressing in one of your new winter dresses, this one in a soft pink, with delicate silver flowers embroidered along the hems of your sleeves. You threw on a white scarf, hat, and mitten set, then made your way down the stairs, and out the of what will soon be your front doors.

You were planning to find a florist this morning, as well as find a garden supply store so that you would be able to visit Viviane later in the week.

Rella had told you of a nice florist who was on the south side of the Sidra, just west of the Palace of Thread and Jewels, so you were making your way there.

The streets were rather slick this morning, so you took your time in getting to the florist’s shop, as Mor had said, there was nothing quite like eating shit before a meeting or going somewhere- which you’d had more than your fair share of in the past month and a half, running around town so often.

Finally you reached the shop, painted a sage green on the outside, and there was a garden along the side of it that you could see wrapped around to the back as well.

You walked inside, making sure to stomp the snow from your boots before you entered. At the counter was a beautiful high fae, with lovely light golden brown hair in a messy bun atop her head, a few strands escaping it and framing her gorgeous face.

“Hello,” you said with a wave as you made your way to the counter. “My name is Y/N, Rella told me that you’re a florist?” You asked hesitantly.

“Rella sent you? That was so sweet of her, make sure to tell her thank you for me, Y/N! My name is Elain, it’s lovely to meet you.” She stuck out her hand, and you got a lovely breeze of her scent, jasmine and honey- another omega. You took her hand, surprised at the grip that the delicate looking fae had. “Did you need a florist for something?”

You nodded your head, answering “Yes, I’m opening a bakery in the next couple of weeks, and I was hoping you would be able to supply seasonal flowers every week.”

“Yes, I should be able to do that. Do you have a color scheme in mind at all, or just the seasonal aspect?”

“Jus the seasonal flowers, any color combination will be lovely, I’m sure.”

Elain smiles at you, her soft chocolate eyes crinkling at the edges slightly. “Very well, Y/N. Do you know how many bouquets you’d like weekly, and a price range?”

“I suppose I’d need…” you thought on how many tables you had inside of your bakery, as well at the mantle of the fireplace. “A dozen bouquets every week, I believe. And price wise… I’m not really sure, do you have a set type of plan?” You asked, feeling unsure.

“Yes, for a dozen bouquets my base price would be around 25 gold marks a week, and for slightly larger bouquets or more rare types of flowers, it could get up to double that.”

You thought about it for a moment. “I think that I’ll let you choose whichever flowers look best together, but I don’t need very large bouquets.”

Elain pulled a contract from beneath her counter, along with a quill and pot of ink. She wrote in the details of your request, then slid the paper over to you.

You read it over, then signed it and slid the page back to Elain. You handed your bank card to her, and she pressed it to her ledger before passing it back to you. “Alright, you’re all set up to start your deliveries, when you know the exact date just come back and let me know, okay?”

You nodded your head, then finally looked around the rest of her shop. There were large bags filled with dirt, gardening tools, large displays of seeds, and even a few types of planters on display. “Oh, you sell gardening supplies too? That’s perfect!” You said, happy to have likely found everything you needed to complete your garden.

“Yes, we even have carts that you can borrow or purchase to take everything home,” Elain said, already moving from behind the counter. “Are you starting a garden, as well?” She asked.

“Yes, just a small one for a few plants and herbs I need for my baked goods,” you replied, already moving to look at the types of dirt she had on offer.

Perfect. Elain already carried dirt from the Winter Court, exactly what you needed for your plants.

“I’ll take- oh, I think ten bags of the Winter dirt, please,” you said, hoping that it would be enough to fill up your planters. “And I’ll purchase a cart as well, that will probably be handy for just about all of my shopping for the bakery,” you said with a chuckle. Elain brought a cart over, and the two of you loaded ten large bags of dirt into it.

You also grabbed a few different sizes of hand shovels and a couple of watering cans, putting them into your cart.

“Is that everything you’re needing today?” Elain asked as you approached the counter once more.

“Yes, Elain.” You handed your bank card over, and tucked it back into the collar of your dress once she gave it back. “Thank you so much, I’ll see you in a couple of weeks,” you said, moving to push your cart through the front door.

“Did you need any help with your garden at all?” Elain asked before you left.

“Not at the moment, I just need to fill my planters with dirt today. But in the next week I’ll be transplanting some things from the Winter Court,” you replied, and her brown eyes lit up.

“Would you like some help?” Elain asked brightly. “I’ve been so bored during the winter, there’s not much to tend to, I’d love to help you out,” she said, with so much hope in her voice you couldn’t refuse.

“That would be lovely, Elain. I’ll come and get you once I have the plants back here, alright?”

Elain beamed at you. “Sounds like a plan, Y/N. I’m free all of this Wednesday, if that would end up working for you. If not, I’m sure I’ll be able to slip away for a little bit,” Elain suggested.

“I’ll try and get the plants here by Wednesday, Elain. Thank you again!” You said as you pushed your cart into the outdoors.

Luckily, the cart seemed to be enchanted to have the snow speared from its path, and you made it back to your home without much trouble.

Now the hard part: getting all of the dirt upstairs and into the planters.

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

It took you a few hours to finish the planters off, and you were more than ready to wash the dirt from your skin by the time three in the afternoon rolled around, but you forced yourself to write a letter to Viviane, asking to come and grab the plants Wednesday morning before you did so.

You ran hot water in the tub, then let it fill up while you stripped your clothes from your skin and placed them in your laundry bin. You slipped into the tub, loving how your wings were able to sink beneath the water comfortably as well.

It was the first time they would have a proper wash in over a month, and you were looking forward to how soft and fluffy your feather would feel afterwards.

Taking your time, you spent over an hour in the bath carefully washing the first and debris from your wings, refilling the tub once so you could rinse clean. Afterwards, you wrapped yourself in a fluffy towel, one that was so soft that you had bought all of your towels from the same vendor, even for the bakery, in varying shades of blues, pinks, and purples.

A reply from Viviane had landed on your desk while you were bathing, confirming that she would pick you up in front of Mor’s townhome at eight on Wednesday morning.

You’d considered buying baking supplies and bakeware today, but after the hauling of dirt you were too tired, and nothing sounded better than getting a takeout from Sevenda’s and curling up on the couch in front of your fireplace with the third Healer of Time book.

But getting Sevenda’s would require going outside again, and going across the Sidra…

You had the ingredients for the chicken curry you had made on your second night in Velaris, and that, you supposed, would be less daunting of a task than leaving your home.

You got dressed in a soft sweater dress, another recent purchase of yours, and let yourself read for a half an hour on the couch, until your stomach was growling at you to loudly to continue ignoring. Fine. I will make the damn curry.

You stood up from your couch and went into the kitchen, chopping and stirring and waiting until finally you had your dinner. Your cooking skills had improved in the month and a half since you’d made this recipe, and you could tell in the taste of the curry.

Seated at the table, you read while you ate, so lost in the gripping story that you hadn’t realized you were done with your food until you ate a spoonful of nothing.

“Oh,” you said to yourself, then got up and rinsed your bowl out. You were so tired already, and it was barely six in the evening.

Today would be a good day to start getting back into a baking sleep schedule, if you were so tired already… And then you would be able to get up bright and early in the morning, make yourself some breakfast, then head to the Palace of Bone and Salt to buy enough baking supplies to make each of your recipes three times, to make sure you still have all of the techniques you need down pat before your grand opening.

Grand opening. You could hardly believe it, you’re so close to your dream becoming a reality, and it’s been almost nothing but fun the entire journey.

That was definitely in part to the wonderful fae you’d met in Velaris, each one that you worked with you helpful and friendly. You truly couldn’t have asked for a better start to your new life here.

You allowed yourself to read until seven thirty, then forced yourself to get into bed.

It took a little while for you to fall asleep, even with being tired, but soon enough you drifted off, thoughts filled with bags of flour and the pastries you would make tomorrow.

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

Picking out your bakeware took you longer than expected.

Did you want glass or metal bowls? Pink or blue ceramic? Wooden utensils or metal utensils? You were so indecisive, trying to choose between whatever you liked most and trying to have a color scheme- but then you realized it doesn’t matter, all of them will be used for the same purpose.

And if you love all of your bakeware, then who cares if they don’t match?

So you’d gotten possibly double of everything that you needed, but that would just make it easier for you to do more batches or different things at once in the future. And you’re fine with that.

You’d carefully made your way home, trying your best not to break any of your new dishes.

Your only casualty was a cute mixing bowl you’d picked up for your personal kitchen, it was pink with little duckies all around it. You would get another at some point.

It took you two hours to have everything arranged the way you wanted, and immediately after getting your kitchen set up you went out again pushing your cart back to the Palace of Bone and Salt to get your baking ingredients. That shopping trip took you a bit over an hour, and by the time you got home you were tired once more, but more than ready to start baking again.

You had never gone much over a week without baking, ever since you were six years old. You felt like apart of you had been ripped away, until your hands finally sank into dough once more.

It was magical, how happy baking makes you. You baked for the rest of the night, probably eating far too many pastries for dinner, but you don’t care, because they’re pastries you baked, in your bakery.

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

Two days later, it was Wednesday, and Viviane had picked you up as promised.

“So, how’s Velaris treating you so far?” She asked as the two of you were on your knees in the greenhouse, working to free the last of three hornberry bushes you needed.

“It’s been amazing so far, the change of pace as been absolutely wonderful, and getting closer to the grand opening of the bakery I’m getting more and more excited! And everyone has been so kind so far, I feel so welcome.”

Your four combined hands finally pulled the bush out of the ground, and you carefully placed it in the cart holding the rest of your plants.

“That’s so great to hear, Y/N. I’m glad you’re settling in well, you deserve it after all you’ve been through,” Viviane said, placing a kiss on the top of your head. “Did you need any other plants, dear?”

You looked over the cart thoroughly. “Nope, that’s all I need Viv. Thank you so much!”

“Of course, Y/N! You know this section of the garden practically belongs to you, right? You and your grandmother are the reason our birth rates and overall health as a court have gone up. If you need anything else from here, just write me again, okay?”

You nodded, smiling gratefully at her. “Oh, by the way, the money you gave me was far too much,” you said, and Viviane opened her mouth to speak. “But it is very much appreciated, Viv. It’s made getting the bakery perfect so easy.”

Viviane grinned at you. “I knew it was the right choice, telling you once you were already in Velaris,” she said with a laugh.

“That’s true, I would never have accepted it,” you agreed, chuckling along with her.

The two of you stood from where you were kneeling, dusting the dirt from your dresses. “Are you ready to see my bakery?” You asked, holding your arm out for Viviane to take.

“I have been since before it was built, Y/N,” Viviane replied, taking your arm and winnowing the both of you back to Mor’s townhouse. “Lead the way, dear.”

The two of you trekked back to your bakery, taking longer than usual with the cart’s wheels snagging on the snow.

“Oh, Y/N, it’s perfect!”

Your front doors had been delivered yesterday, perfectly depicting the change from dawn to day to night while snow falls over the Sidra, more beautiful than you had thought it could be.

“Isn’t it?” You asked dreamily, still slightly disbelieving that it was real, even when you’d been living here for the past five days. “Come on, let me show you the inside,” you said, unlocking the doors and dragging the cart inside after Viviane had entered.

“This is so cute! I wish you were open right now, I’ve been dying for one of your hornberry tarts. Leo does a good job, but I don’t think he’ll ever get them perfectly like yours, Y/N,” Viviane said, referencing the pasty chef you’d trained before moving.

“Well, if you come back for the opening or any time after, I’ll make sure you get a few to take home with you. I’m sure Kallias would like some as well,” you remarked with a smile, recalling how fond the High Lord was of your pastries.

“He’ll probably join me once you’re open, he won’t say it but I know he misses your baking. He does this cute little pouty face whenever something doesn’t taste perfect,” Viviane said, always ready to talk about her alpha. “Well, I’d better get going Y/N, I have a few meetings I need to get to, but let me know when your opening is and I’ll do my best to stop by.”

“I will, Viv. Winnow safe, okay?” You said as the two of you hugged, taking in one last breath of her calming snow and cranberry scent.

“I will, dear. Have fun planting!” Viviane said, winnowing away after giving a little wave goodbye.

You immediately set to taking the plants upstairs as quickly as you could, wanting to get Elain over at a reasonable hour.

It was eleven thirty when you finished, each and every last plant taken up the spiral staircase and placed next to the planter it would be replanted in.

You washed your hands, then put your winter wear on and headed into the city, going straight for Elain’s shop. When you arrived, the door was locked, so you knocked loudly on it. Elain came to the door a moment later, already dressed to leave the indoors.

“Lovely, Y/N, I’m so glad you could make it today!” Elain said excitedly, locking her shop up behind her. “And I get to see your bakery, I’m excited for that too!”

The two of you made your way to your bakery slowly, the two of you appreciating the people milling about as you walked.

“This is a gorgeous bakery you’ve got, Y/N,” Elain said once the two of you were standing in front of it, you unlocking the door.

“Thank you, Elain,” you said, swinging the door open and letting Elain inside.

“Oh, the inside is so adorable! Now I have such good ideas for your bouquets, after seeing the space. I’m thinking a blue flower in every weeks bunches, keep the winter theme going a bit.”

“I love that idea, Elain, that’s perfect!” You led her to the kitchen and up the stairs, and she rushed towards the garden.

“This is amazing! Who did your enchantments?” Elain asked once she was in the garden, the air even colder than it was outside.

“Gabrella, in the Palace of Flame and Steel,” you replied, joining her in the garden. “And this is my little garden,I’m excited to get everything planted. And please, don’t feel obligated to stay at any point, though I do truly appreciate your help.”

“I love to see new plants, and I’ve never seen any of these before. I’m guessing they’re native to the Winter Court, with the dirt you bought and the climate you’ve got here,” Elain said, hitting the nail on the head.

“You would be right, Elain. I use all of them in my pastries. All of them are pretty easy to plant, just make sure their roots are covered and then water them until the soil is completely soaked,” you informed Elain, already kneeling in front of one of the planters.

The two of you got to work, Elain watched you plant one of the bushes before moving to her own, planting it with expert hands.

As you worked, the two of you spoke of your lives, mainly your hopes for the near future. You spoke of your bakery, how excited you were to see it finally in action, and how the people of Velaris would react to your business. Elain talked about her mate and alpha, Lucien, and how they were hoping to have children soon.

“We’ve been trying rather vigorously,” Elain tittered, and you blushed along with her.

“Well, I cannot promise that it will work for sure, but I do make a fertility pastry with these berries,” you say, pointing to the spiky berries on the hornberry bush that you were currently planting. “We have seen a significant increase in births the Winter Court over the past five years, though that could be due to the end of everyone being imprisoned.”

“Anything at all that will help, we’ve been trying for the past five years with no luck so far. As long as it tastes decent, I am willing to try anything, I’ve wanted to be a mother for so long,” Elain said, sighing after she did.

“I believe they’re rather delicious, but you’ll just have to see for yourself,” you laughed.

Within two hours, you and Elain were sitting back on your hands, looking at your now completed garden. “Thank you for your help, Elain. Would you like to go to lunch with me?” You asked, wanting to thank her in some way other than words, and you had a feeling she would turn down any monetary payment you would offer.

“I would love to, Y/N. Did you have a specific place in mind?” She asked, already getting to her feet. You followed her up, then lead her over to the kitchen sink to wash the dirt from your hands.

“There’s this great noodle place on the west end of the Palace of Hoof and Leaf, if you’re interested? Or we can go someplace else, if you’d prefer,” you offered.

“Noodles sound great,” Elain said, smiling softly at you.

“Noodles it is, then.”

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

Lunch with Elain was nice, and you walked her back over to her shop before heading home. The two of you had gotten to know each other better, and you were happy to know that you might already have three omega friends in your new city, very different compared to your sold one in Winter- Viviane.

When you got back to your home, slightly surprised to see Marcus outside of your doors.

“Ah, Y/N, there you are!” He said, walking over to meet you. “I was… I was hoping that I could ask you something.” For the first time since you had met him, Marcus sounded nervous.

“Go ahead.”

“Well, I was wondering if you would like to go out to dinner with me- on a date?” He asked.

You hadn’t seen it coming. You’d enjoyed his company, yes, he was fun to talk to and nice to be around.

“I… uhm…” you started, unsure of what to say.

“Look, there’s no strings attached, if you hate it halfway through, or even right when I pick you up, we can act like it never happened, hmm?”

You considered it for a moment. Would it really be so bad to go on a date with a handsome, friendly alpha?

“Okay, yes, I’ll go out with you. What night were you thinking?” You asked, looking up at Marcus nervously.

“Would tomorrow night at six work for you?”

You nodded your head. “Yes, tomorrow would be fine,” you respond. “I’ll see you then.”

“Good, I’ll see you tomorrow night at six, Y/N,” Marcus said before departing from you with a wave, leaving you to slink inside of your bakery and contemplate what had just happened.

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

“You’re going on a date with Marcus? Oo, tell me what you’re going to wear!” Mor said excitedly, clapping her hands together.

“Just a dress and some tights, Mor, nothing fancy,” you said after swallowing your bite of salad.

“Well, at least tell me you’re excited for the date?”

“I guess so.” Mor stared at you, disbelief in her eyes as she chewed the last bite of her sandwich. “What? Marcus is nice, really nice, I just don’t feel any kind of spark towards him, that’s all.”

“At least give the male an honest chance, alright?” Mor asked of you before paying for the tab. “I’ve got to run, but next week you will tell me all about the date, yes?” You nodded your head. “Good. I’ll see you next Thursday, have a good date today doll,” Mor said, pressing a kiss to your cheek before leaving the restaurant.

You finished your salad, then walked the short distance home from the restaurant in the Palace of Hoof and Leaf.

Perhaps you should be getting ready excitedly at this point already, but you knew in your heart that you wouldn’t find that spark with Marcus. After all, you’d known each other nearly two months at that point, and you’d never looked at him as anything other than a friend.

But you supposed that going on a date, even one that you know you won’t go out with again, could be fun.

So you baked for a few hours, then took a long bath to make sure their was no flour left on your body. Getting dressed was easy, you simply slipped on one of your old favorites, a cute pink wool sweater dress that goes to your knees and some warm tights. You put on a little bit of eyeliner and a tiny bit of lipstick, but it only took you ten minutes to get ready. It was only five thirty.

You picked up your book and read, already on the fourth book of the series. By five fifty five, you had on your winter wear and boots and were downstairs.

Marcus knocked on the door exactly at six, looking handsome as usual.

“Shall we go?” He asked, extending an arm to you.

You took it, then said “Yes, lead the way Marcus,” with a gentle smile.

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

The date was fun, that was true. But you felt no kind of connection with Marcus besides that of a friend. He seemed to sense as much when he dropped you off at your door later that night.

“I had a wonderful time tonight, Y/N.”

“I did too, Marcus, but…” you trailed off, unsure of how to say it.

“But you don’t feel the connection?” Marcus asked, and you nodded in confirmation. “It’s alright, I had to take my chance, right? An omega as amazing and wonderful as you, well, you’re a catch to any alpha with eyes and ears, Y/N.”

“Thank you, Marcus. And I’m so sorry, I wish it could have worked out. You truly are a magnificent person, and I’ve loved getting to know you over the past two months. Friends?”

“Friends,” Marcus confirmed, giving you a brief hug before pulling away. “I’ll see you at your bakery’s opening, when was it again?”

“It will be next Friday, I’ve decided,” you declared brightly, glad that things with Marcus could still be pleasant.

“I’ll see you next Friday, Y/N,” Marcus said before walking away, leaving you on your doorstep once again.

You sighed and headed inside, going straight up to your bedroom to get undressed and wash your face. After you had, you flopped into bed, wishing that you’d been attracted to such a kind, helpful alpha.

But you’d find someone, at some point. You would meet at the right time, the perfect time, and everything would fall into place from there, you were sure of it.

🤍🩵🤍💜🤍

“It didn’t go well, did it?” Mor asked as you sat down across from her in the noodle restaurant.

You sighed. “No, it was a fine outing, just not a good date,” you said. “I did have fun with him, there just isn’t that connection there, you know?”

The two of you ordered quickly when the server came over, then went back to your conversation.

“Are you sure you don’t want to give it one more date?"

You nodded your head. “I’m sure, Mor. There’s no point to it, if I haven’t felt any kind of attraction in the two months we’ve known each other.”

It was Mor’s turn to sigh. “Okay, okay. Do you have any other alphas that you might like to date?” Mor asked, wiggling her brows at you.

“None that I can think of Mor, you can tell Viv that I’m happily single at the moment.”

Your food arrived then, and the two of you tucked into your food, both of you humming happily at the taste.

“So, my bakery opens tomorrow,” you said after a few minutes of comfortable silence while eating, and Mor quickly swallowed her current bite.

“Tomorrow? Oh, that’s so exciting Y/N! What time do you open? I’ll try to get there near then, but no promises, I might be sleeping in.l

“That’s fine, Mor, I’m opening at seven so I don’t really expect you to be awake at that time,” you laughed, knowing that the alpha was the opposite of a morning person.

“Mother no, I would never be up that early for anyone,” Mor giggled. “Have you sent out flyers or anything yet?”

“Yes, I had some pamphlets printed up with the menu, they’re being distributed around town as we speak!” You said brightly.

“That’s good, that’s good. I hope everything runs smoothly, Y/N, you deserve it after all of the hard work your put in.”

“Thank you, Mor. I just hope that people like my pastries.”

“Y/N, just based on that little sampler basket you brought me at the beginning of the week, the people here will go nuts over your bakery,” Mor reassured you.

You had brought a basket of pastries to every person that had helped you in starting your bakery: Mor, Marcus, Rella, Arana, Oren, and the stained glass artist, Wren. You’d actually brought five baskets to Marcus’s office, enough so that he could have a basket of his own, and plenty left for the crew that had worked so hard to bring your dream together.

“Thank you, I’m glad to hear that. I hope that you can make it tomorrow, I believe that Kallias and Viviane will be stopping in later in the day, so long as nothing pressing comes up.”

“I’ll look forward to seeing you and them tomorrow, then, Y/N,” Mor said as she gave you a quick goodbye hug, her citrus and cinnamon scent washing over you again.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, Mor,” you said with a smile, managing to get your bank card down on the bill first.

You walked home alone, knowing that you needed to make sure everything was in order for the next morning as you went, taking a little longer to savor the warmth of the sun. It had started to warm a little bit, and most of the snow was cleared from the streets at this point.

You used your three hours before your self imposed bed time to check everything twice and make sure you had enough ingredients for everything you needed to bake in the morning, as well as plenty of tea and coffee for people to drink.

Your time to sleep went by too quickly, and soon enough it was four in the morning. You took a quick bath, then donned a comfortable lilac dress with a back scooped low enough for your wings to be free, something you’ll want as you will most likely be spending the next fifteen hours working in the kitchens and the front of house.

Finally, you thought, so happy that your grand opening is finally here.

You rushed downstairs, turning on the fae lights so that you could see your work.

Most of the pastries were done proving, and ready to go in the oven. You had plenty of your winter berry jams ready to go, all you need to do is make more dough and get it proving.

You spend the next two and a half hours working quickly and efficiently, the rush that baking on a large scale gave you fueling you on, faster than ever before.

You had just finished stocking up the pastry display cases, medicinal on the left and typical pastries on the right, when Elain showed up at the front door, bright eyes and perfect hair even at the early hour, You rushed over to unlock the door, opening it to let the sweet fae inside, and you flipped the open sign over as you shut the door.

“It smells absolutely wonderful in here Y/N. Lucien is bringing the rest of our family around, I made them all promise to show up after they devoured that basket of pastries you delivered to my house,” Elain said, shaking her head lightly at them. “I was able to try that hornberry pastry thought, it was divine. Tell me you’ve got plenty ready to go?” Elain asked.

“Oh yes, I’m already thinking it will be my most popular pastry, I’ve got two dozen ready already and another five dozen in the process of being made,” you reassured her, already going behind the counter to grab her a pastry and place it on a plate. “Here you go, and if you ever want to take some extras home, just let me know,” you said with a smile, loving that she immediately took a bite of the pastry.

“Seriously, these are so good,” Elain said, right as a crowd of people pushed through the front doors.

In first was a red headed male, who made his way straight to Elain, placing a kiss on her cheek and swiping the pastry from her fingers. Lucien, presumably.

Next in was a tall, bulky Illyrian with hazel eyes, holding hands with a beautiful fae- Nesta?

“Y/N?” Nesta asked, making her way over to your counter after she met your eyes. “I didn’t know you were the one Elain was working with, what a small world.”

You nodded your head, meeting her strong steel grey eyes. “Yes it is, I didn’t know that you were related to Elain, either. It’s nice to see you again, I’m hoping I can make it to that book club of yours in the next couple of weeks,” you said.

“That would be nice, Y/N."

“Introduce me,” the large Illyrian said after gently nudging Nesta, having followed her over.

Nesta rolled her eyes, a small but affectionate smile on her lips as she said “This is Cassian, my mate.”

Cassian stuck his large hand out for you to take, and when you did his hand practically swallowed yours. “It’s nice to meet you, Y/N. Now, am I allowed to order right away or should I wait a little bit?” The alpha asked, eyes already turned to the pastry cases.

“You can order right now, if you’d like,” you responded, letting him look over the options for a moment.

“Oh, Nes, we are so getting the hornberry pastries, remember that little promise that you made to me?” Cassian asked, turning his mouth to Nesta’s ear, whispering something that made the fae’s face turn beet red before she nodded. “We will take two of those, plus three croissants.”

You handed them their pastries on a large plate, telling them “Bring it up here when you’re done, or if you need a to go bag.” They left the counter, Nesta still blushing profusely, even when they sat down.

You looked back to the door, seeing Mor and another Illyrian next to her, this one with shadows swirling around him, occasionally dipping into his ears. They moved over to the right side pastry case, peering through the glass at what you had on offered. You glanced away from them and back to the door, and that’s when you saw them-

The most devastatingly beautiful male and female you had ever seen, power thrumming off of them in gentle, soothing waves, and their combined scents washed over you- citrus, sea, jasmine and lilacs. A perfect, heart stopping blend of two alpha scents that set your mind and body on fire in the best possible way. You felt so awake now, so present as you stared at them both, trying to memorize their faces as quickly as you could.

This. This is the feeling you wanted to feel when you went on a date with someone.

The couple moved closer to you, and Mor introduced them.

“Y/N, this is Rhys and Feyre, our High Lord and Lady.”

Oh, Mother, you are so fucked.

“It’s nice to meet you, Y/N,” Feyre said, extending two beautifully tattooed hands to grasp yours. “Mor has told us so much about you, it’s nice to finally put a face to her kind words.”

Your heart nearly stopped, you were sure of it. “It’s lovely to meet you as well, High Lady-”

“Oh none of that, please call us Feyre and Rhys,” Rhys said, his strong voice pulling your eyes away from Feyre’s hypnotic ocean eyes. His were just as mesmerizing, violet with flecks are stars in them, just as beautiful as his mate’s.

“It’s lovely to meet you, Rhys and Feyre,” you corrected, your hands still captive in Feyre’s.

“Alright you two, stop hogging my friend, I’d like to have one of her delicious pastries for breakfast,” Mor said, breaking the spell the two alphas had over you, and you finally looked away from Rhys’s eyes to lock onto Mor’s.

“Did you know what you wanted, Mor?”

“Yes, I’ll have one of those cute little cheese danishes, and a cup of coffee with some cream please.”

You nodded your head, then set to grabbing Mor’s order. With your head turned from the group, though, you couldn’t help but close your eyes.

You are so fucked. They are mates, they are a couple, you will never have them. Remember that, you thought to yourself, before turning around, Mor’s coffee and danish in hand

Mor tapped her bank card to your ledger before you could stop her, sticking her tongue out at you. “You can’t make me not pay, Y/N, I just won’t do it,” she said while smiling at you, then left the counter to take a seat in front of the fireplace, where Elain and Lucien were now sitting.

You turned your head back to the couple that you knew would stay in your thoughts for days, maybe even weeks to come. “Did you two know what you wanted?”

“What? Wolves drool. They stomp and bring all the dirt inside the house. They wag their tales like idiots. Dog-brained. The whole lot of them. And now he’s hanging around?” He chides and jumps from the chair and elegantly promenades towards the open doors that lead to the balcony with his ears flat towards my direction. "Unacceptable!"

“He’s not like that.” I say, suddenly aggravated by his accusations. I stand from my chair, the blanket pooling at my feet. My room feels too big, like always, but cramped at the same time, like it would swallow me. The floor and walls are shiny and without one imperfection that’s so at odds with me. I’m not shiny, not special. To be frank I never felt good here as if it’s not my real home. I step out of the heap and walk to the balcony door, thin scratches of Bellz’s nails trailing the wood.

I exhale and let my head fall back into my neck as I grab the handle, considering pushing him to the side with the door a bit too harshly to make my point clear. He jumps out of the way as I swing the door open, the brisk air of the nearing dawn catches the length of my dress.

With his nose scrunched, he follows me onto the balcony and snorts. “They’re all like that.”

“He’s not,” I insist, my fingers fumbling with the edges of the cards inside my pocket. “When he looks at me… I don’t feel weak. Like I do when my mother talks to me. Or useless. He doesn't see me as the hollowborn without magic. He just– sees me.”

The cat goes very still, watching my every move.

“What did Morgana say to that?” he asks carefully, keeping his distance.

My pulse quickens, my lips pressing into a line and I grip the handrail tighter as I lean against it. The memories of my mother chiding me just minutes ago are making me feel smaller than ever before, like I’m a little child again.

I take a deep breath. “That I shamed the bloodline by running into the woods. That I put my future in danger just by playing hero. That I– consorted with a wolf.” My head falls to my chest as I replay how upset she was at my behaviour.

Beelz’s ears twitch back anew. “Consorted,” he echoes back with horror. I know he hates dogs – wolves. He’s a cat after all. I know it’s a remnant from the day I saved him as a kitten from a pack of wolves that played with him and nearly drowned him. But deep down he’s on my side no matter what. He hates my mother more than he hates wolves. “Sounds scandalous. She must have enjoyed giving you the speech again.” He scolds and sits beside my feet, brushing his cheek against my shin and purring to calm me down. “What else?”

“She said I was reckless. That I forgot who I am and to what coven I belong to. That if I keep this up, I’ll bring misfortune to my family’s name and no warlock will ever want me.” My throat tightens at the thought that she brought up again that I have to marry into the magical-world. “She said that I’m nothing but a disappointment. Again.”

Only the wind answers and the clouds soundlessly hide the half-moon, tinting us in darkness.

Beelz flicks his tail around my shin and retorts. “Charming woman. Your mother, Morgana Grimrose, Her Majesty of Misery. Really knows how to inspire confidence.”

I chuckle at that, bitter and frail. “I can’t keep doing this. Every time I try to… to be enough, it’s never enough.” I blink the tears away. “And now–” my gaze drifts toward the gate. Cassian is there again after he took another leap, standing tall, his ears peaked and on high alert. “Now I’ve given her a real reason to hate me.” After all, I can't say one bad thing about my mother. She dedicated her whole life to me – to the heirloom that I am. She raised me and taught me everything that I know. She made me who I am. But my heart cracks at the thought that she would never be proud of me, no matter what I’m doing to please her. My heartrate skyrockets at the thought that I have to try harder to live up to her ideals like I’m a bird with a broken wing flying into the sky, trying to fight against the thinning air as I’m trying to reach the moon.

Beelz’s eyes follow my line of sight. He catches Cassian standing guard. “The pavement is going to reek of his marking in no time.”

“That’s not what I mean.” I scold him sharply with my jaw clenched. It’s not because of Cassian’s presence there. It’s all about me, again, not fulfilling the destiny my mother sees in my future.

Beelz recoils and his hackles rise at my biting comment. His eyes dart between Cassian and me, how I gaze at him with longing and pity. Then he says, softer. “You really aren't afraid of him, are you?”

I shake my head. No. I’m afraid of everything else. Of what’s going to happen when they find out. That I– that I like him? That I have the biggest crush on him? That I’m forbidden to be near him – a wolf. That I’m bespoken to someone my mother will choose for me, someone who fits into her view of the world. “I’m afraid of losing this before it even begins.”

“Then maybe that’s the problem.” Beelz puffs his chest and curls his tail neatly around his feet but looks up into my sad face, one single tear escaping the corner of my eye. He sighs “I suppose I’ll allow the mutt to linger.” I look down at him, my lips quirking into the faintest smile. “For now.” He adds and a slow grin splits his failing arrogance.

“But if he puts one paw out of the line, I’ll scratch his eyes out myself.”

“Thank you.” I whisper breathlessly with a shaky smile.

He turns to the door brushing my leg, the curtain flowing in the wind. “But I’m all you’ve got to tell you the truth. And the truth is, little one, that your mother doesn't scare me half as much as you do right now – standing on that edge, staring down at him like your heart’s already his.”

I only hear half of what he’s saying. Cass turns around and our gazes lock. I can’t read his face. He’s worried and tired but he gifts me with a smile and I wave at him good night before getting inside, leaving the balcony door open, to listen to his footsteps wander up and down the outside of the fence, making me feel calm and safe, while I drift to sleep.

The scraping of cutlery against ancient porcelain fades in my ears. The polished crystal glass that sits in front of me like a statue reflects my face like I’m a ghost – a transparent entity on the verge of existing. I keep my eyes down as the grand hall with its high ceilings swallows the voices of my mother, her mother and my grand-grand mother. I fold my hands in my lap and my plate of barely touched food stares back at me. The knots in my stomach are keeping my appetite as my family discusses my future as if I wasn't even there.

“The Augra will see her in one week,” my mother says crisply, slicing into a pear with a silver knife. My grandmother says it like a decree. “She must be ready. She’ll present herself as a daughter of this bloodline…steady, disciplined, worthy.”

A shiver runs down my spine as her words sting in my chest. I know they want the best for me. I have to be most presentable and make a good impression. I want to make my family proud. Even if they couldn't fix me until now, I want to show them that I’m dedicated and that my future can restore the damage I did to them by being a Hollowborn.

I lift my eyes, straighten my back and pick up my fork again, forcing myself to eat something and engage in the conversation. “I won’t disappoint you.” My voice leaks the anticipated zeal.

My great-grandmother picks up her glass slowly and brings it to her lips even slower. It’s as if she’s fossilized – no one knows how old she really is. But her eyes are still as sharp as two dark gemstones cut with a thousand facets. “The Augra will confirm what we already know. That she belongs to our path. That her future is secured in our lines.” 

I bite down on my tongue, fighting the urge to ask what if the Augra tells me that there is another path for me? A different one? What if I have to follow it against the wishes of my family?

They’d only laugh. Or worse, turn the words in my mouth and coerce me to the future they want me to have.

I exhale soundlessly as I feel Beelz’s tail brush my ankle from beneath the table. His voice slides into my mind, dry and cocky as ever. “She’ll be powerful and even more so her offspring.” He mocks the words we’ve heard over and over for the past few years.

I know what my family has in mind for me. Giving them a daughter that will outshine every other coven like a diamond that’s hit by the sun at midday. I know that I’ll be a mother, but that’s in the far future. Witches are getting married after their thirtieth birthday, so they have enough time to develop their magic and be most powerful before conceiving. That gives me at least eight more years.

My lips twitch but I’m able to keep my face neutral at Beelz’s comment. No one else could have heard him. Mother hexed him when I had him mere weeks, so that only I could hear what he was saying… or the people I wanted to hear him. She said that his relentless yapping and sarcasm were annoying and she was too fed up with that.

My mother leans back in her chair, watching servants drape garlands of golden-threaded flowers over carved doorways while others are hanging fairy lights all across the walls. Fairies not taller than a child drift through the grand hall, measuring the curtains, perhaps to replace them with one’s in another colour. “Your birthday will be an event to remember,” she says in a smooth tone. “We’ve arranged surprises. Guests from afar, dignitaries who will honor you. You’ll be radiant, child. The center of it all.”

My fork stills against my plate. I hate surprises. The way my mother’s eyes gleam sends a chill all over my skin. Her surprises were never for me. They were for power, for show or for alliances. When I turned thirteen I had to engage in a debutante ball and she didn't tell me about that just an hour before leaving. All eyes were on me for the whole evening – the grey hollowblood-mouse drenched in all colours of the rainbow. She pressured me to talk to all the families and their sons and showed me off like I was her most precious possession – I was, I am. But it was horrible. All night in that enormous ball room I wanted to curl up into a silent corner and play with my cards all by my own. I never fitted into the witch world, everyone always saw me as the girl without power and they talked over my head like they were better than me. I suppose they are. It was all about politics and bonds behind closed doors.

“The girl’s future will be sealed before the moon wanes.” My grandmother cheers, holding out her glass to clink them with her mother and daughter. The sleeves of her dress flows from her arms like molten fire, missing the usual warmth. My birthday is in one week. I have one week to prepare to encounter hundreds of people again. It’ll be the debutant ball all over again.

As their glasses connect with a clinging ring, a sudden sharp crack screeches out. Everyone jolts as one of the gigantic gold framed mirrors splits down the center like a rift that opened to hell. A servant rushes forward but my mother lifts her hand to still them.

“An omen,” my grand-grand mother whispers, smiling like she’s pleased. “Change is coming.”

My pulse stutters and my blood is drained from my face. I swallow hard. I don’t need omens. I don’t want omens. I already feel the change clawing toward me. All I want is a calm life without surprises. My throat tightens as my air gets thin and I nearly shatter the glass of wine I’m holding. I have to get out of here.

“The wolf is still at the gates, my lady.” A servant comes to the table, the fairy was looking out of the window after testing samples of velvety fabrics in the sunlight.

My mother’s lips curl. “Of course he is.” She scoffs. “Wolves are stubborn creatures. Loyal to a fault, stupidly so. Let him rot there, it suits his kind.”

Heat flares in my chest and I know better than to duel my mother for her profanity, so I keep my eyes down. Even if a sharp remark is on the tip of my tongue, I cannot defend him. Not here. They’d scold me and would send me to study history again in the archives until I’d say the same toxic words as them. 

Beelz mutters, his whiskers twitching from where he’s sprawled at my feet. “She’s not wrong. All the drool! Dog-brained brutes.” I can't hold back, instead of kicking him, I slide him away from me over the polished black marble floor, to tell him silently that I don’t want him to insult Cassian.

I want to lash out and scream that Cassian isn’t like that. That he’s steady and fierce and…safe. Safe in a way no one in this hall ever made me feel. The times our hands brushed so tenderly and how he held me gently against his chest when I broke after saving the wolf from the trap ruled my mind and my dreams.

“You look pale, dear.” My mother’s gaze slides to me. “You should take a walk in the garden, get some sun.”

“Yes.” I say quickly, grasping the first excuse she gives me. “I need some air. Perhaps I’ll go to the market. We need new herbs, don't we? Fresh supplies.”

The hall goes quiet. My grandmother narrows her eyes with fire blazing there like she’s searching my soul for cracks. My mother studies me for too long as if measuring my plea. Finally she waves her hand with a graceful flick. “Very well. Go. Take the beast if you must. He’s your guard dog, after all. At least we know he’s bound to the laws of the peaceguards, so he’ll protect you.” 

The chair screeches against the ground as I stand up too eagerly, failing to keep my cool to get out of this situation. I’m half way to the entry way with Beelz hot on my heels when I hear her voice ringing from behind me. “Burn your dress when you come back, it’ll be beyond saving when it reeks of wet dog.” She laughs as the servant pours her another drink.

The words sting. I bow my head, hiding the burning behind my ribs.

Cassian

I spend the night walking up and down the iron fence. My feet and back are hurting like a bitch but that's nothing in comparison to the headache that manifested since I left the station last night. YN looked so small, so fragile, as her mother towed her along.

I had my fair share of encounters with Morgana. She’s the head of the most powerful coven of the witches and I can't hate her more. Her arrogance exceeds the ones I know from the alphas in the training camps and how she talks about other species curls my toe nails. It’s like no time has passed after the war between wolves and witches and does everything to remind the ones she thinks of as lesser – still calling wolves dreadful names, I hate it but I'm used to it. She’s keeping a hoard of fairies as her slaves and twists the law as it suits her to get the things she wants. I can't even count the occasions where she spun a delicate net of lies to manipulate the Council to make politics work for her interests.

I know how she distorts the people around her and that makes me afraid of what she’s doing to YN to bend her at her will. I was brooding the whole night over plans on how to help her to get her out of the fangs of her poisonous family, but there wasn't even one that was good enough. 

But what would I do after that? It’s not like I could just hide her in my house. Her family would come after me or spread rumors that I took her against her will…even if she was there because she wanted it. And then? I could never give her the life she deserves. The golden plates and the marble mansion she lives in is as far from my lifestyle as it could get. She’d be an outcast. From what little I know she sacrificed so much to fit in and I would be the one who destroyed it. She worked so hard to please her family and I can't take that from her. It would ruin her reputation and she would hate me for that.

Besides, how would her life go on if she’d lived with me? I have no clue what she could do as her profession…as a human. Sell stoneware at the corner of the market? Take the unforgiving job as an underpaid seamstress or a kitchen help on the end of the totem post? Could she get some position along the wolves? I scratch that instantly, she’d have to work relentlessly to earn their trust, even if she already has mine, it would take her decades. And even if that wasn't an issue, we would never be allowed to be together. It’s unheard of for a human or her as a hollowblood to mate with a wolf. I could never act on my feelings toward her, so I have to be her friend. That’s all I can do, even if it destroys me. 

A crystal shade of pale yellow crashes into the light blue of the morning as blackbirds and robins sing their first songs to announce the start of a new day. The swaying leaves of the surrounding trees are pitch black against the bright sky next to the looming gate of the family’s estate. The magic buzzes like a swarm of hornets in my sensible ears, but suddenly, the gate yearns open and my head shoots around.

There she is.

In a simple grey dress as always with a basket in her hand made out of woven willows. I stride towards her and as I catch her smiling at me, the annoying noise of the magic wanes as her presence overshines it. 

I square my shoulders, feeling lighter as ever, the pain in my body and head long forgotten. I cross the distance to her and can't help as the corners of my mouth tip upwards.

 “Good morning, Cassian.” She says it like it's a secret. I hum a good morning in response, then she pulls an apple from behind her back and presses it into my hand with a shy smile.

It’s shiny, with a delicious tint of red. It smells like heaven as if she took it from a forbidden garden. My mind drifts back to the memory of when I was abandoned in the training camp…Rhysands mother was the only grown up that was allowed there, she took me in and the first thing she fed me was an apple. It was as if life roared back into me. Now, it seems insignificant as I hold the apple that YN just gave me in my palm, like it’s the treasure pirates have been searching for for ages.

“I figured you were hungry.” Her small voice rings in my ears smoothly. 

“Starving.” I smile down at her before biting into it, the sweet juice spilling over my tongue. “You’re spoiling me.” My grin spreads wide. “You steal from your mother’s kitchens just for me?” I tease her to lighten the mood.

Her cheeks rise and heat up as she looks away, but I don't miss the way her lips twitch. Cauldron, it makes my chest ache.

“How are–” I begin to ask but she places her index on her lips, signaling me to keep my voice down. Does she think her mother can hear us out here? Fuck I hate magic.

“I need to go to the market.” She says it like an excuse and I take the basket from her, keeping her close as we walk down the cobblestone streets.

We come to a halt at the diamond fountain, the water calmly splashing behind us as we sit next to each other on the concrete that’s holding the icy liquid. Her hands come out of her pockets, red streaks in her palm like she grabbed the deck of cards in her pocket too hard for too long. They’re trembling and she keeps her head down as if she’s afraid. I can hear her heart beating fast and I smell the stress on her. I inch closer and take her hand in mine. “How are you?”

The question isn't as simple as it seems as she opens and shuts her mouth, fishing for the right words. I rub soothing circles on her skin to encourage her. “I’m sorry I didn't tell you–”

A man passes by, a warlock with blues and lilac gleaming in his robes. He sneers at YN as he spits on the ground. “Hollowborn. No wonder you need a mutt at your side. Perhaps he fetches your leash, too?”

I freeze and the air shifts around us. I’m between her and the asshole in an instant, shielding her from him. My voice is deep and sharp as I growl at him. “Watch your mouth.”

The warlock just grins but steps back. “One more word and I’ll have you at the station for offensive speech and insults.” The man falters but his eyes narrow at me, at the wolf looming beneath my skin. With a huff, he turns and slithers back before trails off with a dark look on his face.

My hackles still stand as I watch him leave until he’s out of sight. I turn around to find YN holding the basket with trembling hands. I kneel before her, covering her shaky hands. “Ignore him,” I say gently. “He knows nothing about you.”

She swallows and her eyes glaze over. “I’m used to it.”

“You shouldn't have to be.” My tone leaves no room for argument but she still looks like she has a dagger in her back.

“Is that why you didn't tell me what you were? Because of people like him?” She whispers and her eyes lock on mine and I can see the hurt.

My jaw works before I answer. “Wolves don't exactly have the cleanest reputation. And I didn't want to see fear in your eyes when you looked at me.” It’s true. Humans most of all are taught as soon as they can crawl that wolves pose a threat to them. There were times when my species was wild and untamed, but taking a child has always been a lie.

The frown on her face reminds me of when I saw her in the stone circle. I just wanted her to be okay. To make her whole again.

She frowns and slips her hands over mine, now soothing me. “I’m not afraid of you. Just…of everything else.”

Her honesty hits me like a blow. She’s not afraid of being close to me, because I’m a wolf. She’s afraid because of what society thinks about it. Until this day, interspecial bonds are looked down on. I catch the softness in her gaze. “That’s why you didn't tell me you were witchborn?”

She flinches at the word ‘witch’ and a single tear slips down her cheek. “I’m sorry. I wanted to tell you, but… I didn't want you to see me as a deficient.” She admits, her voice cracking. “Everyone else does...”

My heart is in a wrench. How could anyone see this amazing girl as anything but a wonderful soul? Without thinking my hand cups her face, holding her tenderly. “You’re not less, YN. Not to me. When I look at you, the only thing I see is a wonderful girl. A girl that likes to show me her card ticks. I still don't know how you did that by the way.” It earns me a half chuckle from her. “And I see a girl that cares so much about everyone else that sometimes she forgets to take care of herself.” There is a flicker of hope in her eyes, it’s fragile but alive and I’m determined to nurture it until it grows into a beautiful flower.

Her eyes bore into mine and she falls into my arms. I press her to my chest, holding her tightly as she tries to contain her whimpers. It pierces my heart and the alpha in me takes over. I’d do anything to make her hurt go away. But I have to know how the damage began to heal her shattered heart.

“What has your family done to you? Why have you been in the forest at night?” I ask cautiously, I don't want to frighten her.

She lightly pushes back but steadies herself with her hands on my shoulders. “The ritual.”

I’m in a stun. That sounds even worse than I thought. “Ritual?” 

She nods and I can see the veil closing before her inner eyes as she begins to speak. “When my parents noticed that I was Hollowborn, my mother arranged a ritual. Every sunday, I’m brought into the caves beneath our estate, where she summons the ghosts of our ancestors, begging them to gift me with the magic that I should have gotten when I was born. I’m painted with sigils, given a potion and fall into some kind of trance. It feels like you’re being ripped apart – to give the spirits an entrance into my body. But I never stopped trying even if…I just have to make up for being just human. I have to make them proud and earn my place.”

It’s like someone shot an arrow right through my ribs. 

For how long has this been going on? Why would her parents make her go through all of that when there never had been a record of a human that received magic powers after their birth. Now it all makes sense.  When she said it was torture. That her parents try to squeeze something from her that isn't even there. They never gave a fuck about her, just what her body could hold for them to expand their power.

All I can do is gaze at her and let her go on. “Whenevery I woke up, I felt more empty than before – disconnected and truly hollow. I needed something real, so I ventured into the forest to calm down, to feel anything else than the remaining poison that tore at my soul. I liked being in the forest. Everything was so serene and quiet. I knew about the dangers but at some point I didn't care anymore.”

Did I hear right? Is she telling me that her own life didn't matter to her? All of that, just because her parents want her to be something she isn't? Fury burns in my veins and I’m seconds away from turning into a werewolf from the rage. The beast inside me scratches from within, begging me to be let out and run back to her parents to rip them into ribbons.

“But it changed.” She says calmly and gives me a weak smile. “It changed the night I met you.” Her words still the wolf inside of me, like the hand of the Mother soothing over my raised hackles, pushing my other half back into its cage. My heart pounds in my chest and my throat feels tight. “You were– are so different from my family. You talked to me and I felt the spark in my eyes come back. You wanted me to show you my card tricks. And you made talking to you so easy, you made smiling so easy. I’ve never felt like that before.” 

“I’m sorry that they treat you that way. You don't deserve that. Nothing of that.” I cup her cheek again and brush a tear away with my thumb. “YN, we have to report this. They’re mistreating you.”

“N-no. We can’t do that. They’re my family. They’ll be punished and their reputation will be ruined. We can’t–”

I stop her rambling. “YN, they don’t mean well. They’re hurting you. That’s not what family is supposed to do. They’re supposed to be there for you and protect you, like–”

She shakes her head weakly and a small smile appears on her face. “Like you do.” 

My heart stops at her words. “Yes, like I do. Sweetheart, I promise I’ll be there for you. Whatever you need from me, I’ll be at your side. I won’t let them do this to you anymore.”

She nods and nuzzles into my palm. I let a purr reverberate from my chest, deep and calming, not hiding it anymore. I let her feel it in her bones and she melts against me, her heartrate evening out again, like a cat falling asleep in front of a cozy fireplace. “The night we met it changed me, too.” I open up to her and the birds around us seem to sing louder, more lively. “You saw me as just a guy, not the alpha brute everyone else thought me to be. You let me close without scrunching your nose or throwing insults my way.”

“Seems we’re in the same boat.” The glitter in her eyes is back as she smiles sweetly at me. My heart blossoms and I lean forward to press a soft kiss to her forehead. She lets out an exhale, like she was holding her breath for a lifetime, like it’s the first time she can suck in air freely.

I stand up and gently pull her to her feet. I take the basket and my free hand grabs hers, intertwining our fingers as I lead the way down the street towards the market.

It’s bustling with people of all shapes. I try to focus on the job, scanning the crowd, reading faces, listening to danger – but my eyes keep pulling back to her.

She picks out herbs and dried bouquets of lavender. The light of the early sun catches in her dress. I swear it was grey this morning, but now I can see that it’s embroidered with threads of finest silver fire. It makes her skin come alive, haloing her like she’s a goddess of the old days. She’s not plain at all, not overlooked, like she’s something rare and she doesn’t even seem to know it.

She walks along the stalls, browsing for flasks and flowers, handing the dealers copper coins for the items that slowly fill the basket. She plucks a flower from the bouquet and gazes up at me with a smile before cautiously adding it into the pocket on my chest. The sweet fragrance smells just like her and it seems like she gives a piece of herself over to me. It’s a sincere gesture that means everything to me. I brush my hand against hers in thanks. The heat creeps into my cheeks as I square my shoulders proudly. Having a flower that she picked for me is like becoming a member of the knights.

The smile on her face is real as she holds small talk to the vendors and I wonder how she can cope with the dread that her family puts her through. How her mother grabbed her in the interrogation room… How can she still be so tender and kind while they torment her with this ritual every week. I’ve seen her twice right after and it carved all strength from her. There has to be something I can do to prevent her from going through that again.

A silent but very cute squeal from her lips pulls me out of my thoughts like a lifeline. She comes to stand in front of a table with little stuffed animals and homemade baked goods for the furry pets. She pulls a white fluffy mouse up by its tail and a beaming smile graces her face. “What’s that for?”

“For Beelz.” She says it like I should obviously know what that is.

“Beelz?” I grin at the name.

“Yes, Beelzebub. My cat. Don’t laugh at me. I named him when I was little and I thought the name was hilarious. I always whined to my parents, because I wanted a sibling. One day, I found him as a kitten when a pack of pups played with him and almost drowned him, so dog’s don't have a very good reputation from his perspective. I saved him and took him home. My mother enchanted him, so he could talk and keep me company.” She chuckles. “Well, to my misfortune he became the little brother I never wanted. Always a witty remark on his lips, always dipping his paws into my fresh glass of water and shaking the drops into my face.” 

“A talking cat. Who would have thought that?” I smirk. I adore the way she talks about her cat….about the way she talks about everything. It’s like she’s a maze and I can't wait to get around the next corner to see what wonders lie there, hoping to never find the exit. The fabric is soft as she brushes it with her thumb like she drowns in her own thoughts.

“He’s the only friend I’ve ever had.” She says absently.

I let out a low chuckle. “And here I thought I was special. Already beaten out by a cat.” Her head snaps to me and she glows at my joke.

“I don’t steal apples for him.” She remarks brightly. It pulls a warm laugh out of me. Cauldron, she’s going to undo me.

“Here, let me.” I dig in my pocket and tell the vendor to keep the change before she smiles at me and puts the stuffed mouse into the basket.

She links her arm with mine as we stroll down the street together. A nagging bites inside my chest. “Back there, in the interrogation room,” I say, keeping my voice careful. “You called me your friend. Did you mean that?”

We slow down as she stiffens a bit at my words, blinking at me, then nodding shyly. “I…I’ve never really had one before you. So…yes. I mean it. I was happy to have someone there that was on my side. I was happy to have you there.”

Breath caught in my chest as her cheeks tint with a rosy colour. Her face turns down as if she is embarrassed, it’s cute. “Hey,” I call her silently and tip her chin up gently, so she looks up to me as I gaze into her, like it could bury the information into her. “I’m your friend, YN.” the corners of her lips turn up, and it is like she’s blinding me with her smile. “I’m also happy that I was there. I was ready to rip everyone into shreds who threatened you.”

“Thank you.” She breathes and leans her head on my shoulder. Slowly, we make our way back through the crowd and her fingers brush over my arm from time to time reassuringly and like it was the most normal thing for us to do. We move together and her presence fills the spaces inside of me that I haven't even realized were empty. For the first ime in a long while, despite the shadows of missing wolves and the danger that seems to press closer, I feel a flicker of something I never dared to hope for. 

She never pulls away from me, rather squeezing closer. Her lovely smell drifts up to me and I can tell she’s finally able to relax. And my damned heart nearly leaps out of my chest. I’m able to do that to her and I’m ecstatic. People stare but I couldn't care less. For once, I don't care about the whispers, the rules, the lines drawn in blood between wolves and witches and humans. All I see is her. 

We round the corner and are back at the diamond as I can’t stifle a yawn. 

“You’re tired.” She says with a stunned voice and a worried look that has no business being so sweet, like she just forgot that I did a literal double shift. I’m almost awake for a whole day, but her smell and presence soothes me so much it throws my body in a tranquil mood, like a lullaby sings a child to sleep. “You should go home and rest. You must be so exhausted.”

The yawn turns into a huffy laugh. “I’m fine, sweetheart. Az or Rhys will take the next shift after me. Just before you came to me, I got a dove telling me we’re running rotations. They’re in my pack – brothers, really.” My heart bleeds at the thought that I was blessed to have Az and Rhys as my brothers almost my whole life but she was alone for so long. “If I fell asleep on my feet, they’d kick me awake just to laugh about it.” I lighten the mood, remembering the pranks they used to play on me.

Her lips curve. “That sounds nice. Having people like that.”

We kick a stone further in front of us like it's a little game. “It is,” I admit softer this time. I want to tell her that she has them too now. Not only because she’s under my protection by law, but also because I feel deeply for her. More than I’d be ever able to tell. “And my mother, too. I’d never hear the end of it if she knew how little I’ve slept this week. But she…she’s everything. I owe her a lot."

“She must be proud of you.”

I swallow hard. Hearing that from her means so much more than it should. We walk a little longer, the silence between us comfortable as she cranes her neck to see a swarm of birds fly by. Perhaps, she wishes to be as free as them. 

We reach the corner of her street and I stretch out my arm to take her hand in mine and it feels like they’d been made to fit exactly, swinging them subtly between us. I can’t stop myself anymore. We come to a stand in front of the gates and I lean down, close enough to catch the faint scent of herbs and the sweetness of her perfume. I step between the gates and her, just making sure no one from within the mansion can see our faces. I’m losing my nerves as I brush my lips gently and feathery light against her cheek. A quick kiss, barely there, but enough to feel her shiver under it. 

She blinks at me, stunned, then smiles. Radiant with her eyes shining bright. “Thank you, Cassian.”

“For what?”

“For everything.”

And Cauldron help me. I want to promise her the world right here right now. Nothing, not witches nor traps would ever touch her again.

I gently squeeze her hand goodbye and let the silence say what I can't. I let her pass the gate with her full basket in hand and take the stand in front of the gates again and the deafening buzzing is back as if to yell at me to keep off. But I stay.

My boots are rooted to the gravel path as the run rises higher and the sleep deprivation plays tricks to my mind. That’s when I see it, just at the far corner of the fence in the treeline. A figure, cloaked and still, watching. I blink my eyes and my hackles rise as the wolf inside of me paces with ears picked. It must be the same one YN saw in the forest last night. One blink and the figure slips away into nothing as though it had never been there.

I almost lunge after it but I cannot leave my post. Can't leave her unguarded. My jaw clenches. Maybe it was exhaustion, maybe my mind plays tricks on me, but the dread in my gut says otherwise. It was real. Had it followed us from the woods and over the market? Had it been trailing her all along? How did I not notice it?

Will I tell her? Warn her that she isn't safe? Maybe not even in her own home. The wards around the mansion are thick but I have no idea what powers the figure has…But what good would it do, except frighten her even more? I promised her she could lean on me and fear isn't a gift I want to give her. Not until I’m sure what it is and how to fight it.

The wards hum louder and a sharp buzz is pressing against my skull. Then, cold and slick, a chill perforates my mind like icy fingers opening a locked door. I turn with my heart hammering in my veins, and there she is.

Morgana.

She’s standing in the high window, half hidden by the velvet drapes with her face carved in shadow but her eyes burning like a flame in the dark. Suddenly, her voice whispers, not aloud but inside me. “Stay away from her, wolf. Or I’ll tear you from her side myself.”

The curtains fall closed, swallowing her from my sight as her words still echo in my head. Now I have another threat on my plate. Not only the figure that makes people vanish and ignites the fear inside of me that it could trail YN and steal her away. But also that her witch of a mother wants me nowhere near her, even if I’d do anything to keep her safe.

I know I have to keep an eye on her, too.

[PART THREE]

[PART FIVE]