The Pronoun Anarchy, or I Am Cranky And Many People Suck
Once upon a time, a baby was born with a dreadful curse upon them, and that curse was allergies. Terrible, horrible, no-good, very bad respiratory allergies. That baby was me and allergies suck so many balls they probably have sores the size of footballs on their mouth that will never ever heal, and frankly serve them right and when those sores get infected and they die of septic herpes I will LAUGH DIRECTLY IN THEIR FACES WHILE DELICATELY SIPPING A DELICIOUS BEVERAGE WHICH I WILL NOT SHARE, OH NO.
Anyway, the point is that allergies, such as I have today, make me really fucking cranky, and the further point is that many people suck even more than allergies, and these two things tend to join hands in unholy matrimony, have vitriolic hatesex, and nine glorious months seconds later pop out some epic rants. Of course my allergies sleep around a lot, so while they are the mother to many whiny and irritated children, the metaphorical sperm donors are widely varied and tend to just be whatever is currently being the suckiest in my general vicinity. Frequently this is the allergies themselves, which I’m not going to think about too hard, but in this instance the lucky father happened to be an ex of mine who I’m going to call “Rover”. Rover thought it would be highly hilarious to post this joke in a Discord server he runs.
Now it’s a stupid pun, but sometimes stupid puns are just what you need so I’d be perfectly willing to let this slide without having to bring out the Stick of Pun-ishment. The more pressing issue is that this is the same guy who has never, to my knowledge, EVER, referred to an enby by their preferred pronouns, no matter how much they asked him to, told him it really bothered him, reminded him he was being rude, etc etc. Some of these people are supposedly his “friends”, too! And it just seems a little fucking rich to refuse to respect the pronouns of the nonbinary people around you and then think you somehow have the right to post jokes about said pronouns. Which frankly is par for the course for him but I’ve got allergies and he’s just promoted himself to suckiest thing in my vicinity, which makes him the allergy lightning rod. So I start venting in the server of an actual good friend about him and all the shitty transphobic and enbyphobic people I have known and been personally pissed off by. BUT THE ALLERGIES ARE NOT YET APPEASED. I MARCH MYSELF STRAIGHT INTO THE BOT CHANNEL AND ASSIGN MYSELF ALL THE GENDER ROLES. ALL OF THEM. “PRONOUN ANARCHY!!!!”, I DECLARE. “WATCH OUT SHITTY TRANSPHOBIC PEOPLE OF THE WORLD, I HAVE ALL THE PRONOUNS NOW AND I WILL DEMAND THAT YOU USE WHICHEVER ONES YOU FIND THE MOST PERSONALLY OFFENSIVE” AND THEN I MARCH INTO THREE OTHER SERVERS AND DECLARE PRONOUN ANARCHY. MY STIRRING SPEECH IS SENT TO A FRIEND’S TRANSPHOBIC MOTHER. BUT THAT IS STILL NOT ENOUGH.
I CREATE THE PRONOUN ANARCHY FLAG
THE MANY MANY MANY COLORS REPRESENT ALL THE GENDERS. ALL OF THEM. WE HAVE ALL THE GENDERS. WE HAVE ALL THE PRONOUNS. WE USE THEM, OR DO NOT, HOWEVER WE JOLLY WELL LIKE. THE RANDOM BLOBS TAKING THE PLACE OF THE STRIPES USUALLY PLACED UPON SUCH FLAGS REPRESENT THE CHAOS AND DISORDER OF ANARCHY, BECAUSE WE DO NOT GIVE A FUCK ABOUT STRAIGHT LINES OR COLORING INSIDE THEM. AND THE FINGER IN THE MIDDLE REPRESENTS THE GESTURE THAT WE GIVE TO TRANSPHOBES, ENBYPHOBES, HOMOPHOBES, AND OTHER SHITTY PEOPLE SUCH AS THAT BECAUSE THEY CAN GO FUCK THEMSELVES WITH AN APACHE ATTACK HELICOPTER. YES THAT’S RIGHT, THE SAME HELICOPTER THAT YOU PRETENDED TO IDENTIFY AS TO MOCK US. WELL THE JOKE’S ON YOU BUDDY BECAUSE NOT ONLY CAN YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF WITH IT, THE ATTACK HELICOPTER IS ALSO PART OF THE ANARCHY JUST AS SOON AS IT DECIDE WHAT PRONOUNS IT WANTS.
Anyway.
So I am now an anarchist, which I’ve been wanting to do for a while, and I’ve created a flag that is truly awesome, at least in my opinion and the opinions of several friends. I think that’s a great note to start this weird experiment on!
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This is why Virginia in spring kills me. My asthma has been so bad this month because the trees are trying to get it on and my body is just like hell no, fuck this shit, you will die from all this in the air!
My friend was appalled I take 30mg of antihistamines sometimes but like....when the pollen is like this if I don't I literally go into shock/have severe asthma attacks. I really need to get another inhaler, maybe I can get my dad to get me one or a sample from his office or something.
Something I desperately need everyone to understand is that Epi-Pens do not work the way they do in movies. They're not magical anti-allergy devices. They're "hopefully buy you enough time to get to a hospital for treatment" devices.
Also, epinephrine is a hell of a drug. We use it because it's better than literally dying, not because it's harmless. It will absolutely mess you up for a while even if you survive the allergic reaction.
It terrifies me when people have this idea that allergies aren't a big deal because "you can just use your Epi-Pen." It just doesn't work like that and it's dangerous to perpetuate the notion that it does.
Blue to the sky, orange to the thigh, please take this seriously because I'd rather not die.
~This is just me ranting, please ignore, I just needed to put this somewhere to get it off my chest~
Why does everything have to have mint in it, like I genuinely just want a toothpaste or a face/ hair product that won't send me to the fucking ER.
I can't even use God damn rodent repellent without my face going numb and my throat closing up!
Every time I find a sensitive skin list 2/3rds of the products have MENTHOL (or a lawsuit about people getting sick!).
Yes I've bought Hello Kids toothpaste but it doesn't help my sensitive teeth. And the toothpaste I just switched to it $11.99 and is bearly better, but at least I don't cry when I eat cold foods now.
But I have yet to find soap or curly hair products that work, and if they do work I end up with a rash not even a week later, and have to toss them and start back from square one!
I've asked people for help before and the response I usually get back is "Well you could always make it yourself!" It's not cute, it feels condescending. I shouldn't have to go into soap making or making toothpaste and risk poisoning myself. I just want simple non-menthol products that aren't $35+ and won't send my skin into a revolution against itself, is that too much to ask
I HATE stevia because it's a type of ragweed (of which I am allergic to) and it makes my guts try to break free from my skin, when all i want is a little treat with my tea without the guilt of using monstrous amounts of sugar! Why do you tempt me so, with your sweet appearance and devilish taste!
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Realize this is a rant about a medical issue I have, skip if you don't wanna read.
So I have a really bad allergy. Like, I need an epi-pen bad.
It's to lavender. Yes, the flower. Turns out a lot of people have sensitivities to it, I'm abnormal to have such a bad reaction.
I've been exposed to lavender so much that my reactions are almost immediate, which is again, not normal. Most people have a delayed reaction because lavender slows reactions.
Everyone I know irl knows this. They know to steer clear of anything with the label "fragrance" or "lavender." They still miss things though, and I suffer.
Just today someone came into the office I work at and I started to cough, I had to take meds and run away. I've been POISONED 5 DIFFERENT TIMES by fast food places because they used Fabulouso to clean the soda machines.
I get anxiety going out. I get anxiety meeting new people. I get anxiety going into buildings. I get anxiety when I see large groups of people. I get anxiety when someone gets me a drink that isn't sealed. I get anxiety each time I drop my kid off at his school. I get anxeity when someone knocks on my door.
I'm tired. I'm frustrated. I'm scared.
I need a service dog to warn me about exposure risks, and to help calm me down before I go places and when I get exposed. Or I could just wear a hazmat suit.
I am actually ~so~ angry that I'm allergic to coconut like,,,,,...there are so many health benefits from coconut products but nOPE ONLY ANAPHYLAXIS FOR ME
if any of you want my personal experience with growing up with allergies this is the video. thanks to anyone who watching and if anyone can relate let me know! thanks.
