#alcoholic problems

I'm worried that the relief of being done with drinking, and being 6 days sober, is part of the "pink cloud". I'm worried I won't know what to do with myself when it fades.

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10:19am

After a month of sobriety, he’s drinking. He’s been asking for the entire month and I always say no. It was a rule we set in order for him to be let back in the house. A rule I knew he’d break. So it’s simple, really. I let go of this before I let him back in. I knew that he wouldn’t live by his word. But I can’t help but be disappointed. I have a lot of plans in the next month and I wanted nothing more than to feel safe including him in them. But he is who he will always be. Complaining of being bored, I wonder if now that he’s drinking that he’s entertained. I know he’s not. It’s just an excuse. It’s always some excuse to drink.

I feel like I'm at the bottom of a well begging for rain, praying to drown.

:((( yuck:((( I mean i’ll drink it:(( but eww:(