Dear Lord Akeldama: The Vampire Answers 9 Fashion Questions
Happy New Year, my darling Gentle Reader. In fact, happy new decade!
With that in mind how about something from the man who has been through many many decades himself?
Why yes indeed, it’s our own favorite vampire dandy! And he is ready to solve all your fashion dilemmas…
Welcome Lord Akeldama… take it away!
1. What would you say is your most useful advice?
Better not to leave the house than to leave it ill dressed.
2. Oliver says: A friend of mine wore four flannels and and a jacket, at the same time, over a T-shirt?
3. What is the proper way for large women to wear vests and still look elegant?
Proper foundational garments.
4. What’s your process to remove bloodstains from your clothes?
Cold water INSTANTLY. Never let blood sit for even a second. It’s the only time in my afterlife when I have any sense of, well, urgency.
5. What colors would best set off my grey (pewter, not silver) hair?
Jewel tones darling, sapphire and emerald, ruby or royal purple if you dare.
6. What is your opinion on bow ties for the adventurous, daring woman?
Cautiously optimistic. I do like necks in bows, it’s always fun to unwrap a prettily presented snack.
7. I have always practiced the policy of getting completely dressed for an event, and then removing one piece of jewelry. Is this habit still valid, or has it become outdated? If it is still au courant, would you remove a pin or a bracelet?
Leave off the bracelet, my shimmery nugget. The primary purpose of jewelry in a modern social setting is to encourage dialogue ~ pins (or brooches) are more prominent and less common, and therefore more intriguing. Bracelets get caught on things all the time.
8. Miss Serena asks: Lemon juice does bring out the highlights in my hair, but without access to your pomade, how do I keep my naturally blond tresses from turning to straw?
After washing out the lemon, mix baking soda in cold water (enough to soften the water but not supersaturate it) and pour over hair. Let sit for 10 minutes. Rinse out.
9. What are your thoughts on culottes? Are they only for summer time, or can they be worn any season?
I am generally against garments that cannot decide what they wish to be.
Thank you all for paying him such close attention, he loves it, even if he doesn’t say so.
Extra nugget: 20 Queer Fantasy Books That Should Be On Your Radar
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Yours, thinking about a wardrobe overhaul,
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