#aimeric

Process:

'Stop this,' said Jord 'He's just a boy, he's not old enough for this, he's scared. He thinks you're going to wreck his family.'

(...) 'And then of course,' said Laurent 'there's you'. 'No.' said Damen, stepping between them. His eyes were on Laurent. His voice was hard. 'Get out'(...)

(...)Laurent said 'I wasn't finished.' 'Finished what? Reducing every man in the room? Jord isn't any kind of match for you in this mood, and you know it. Calm down.'

Aimeric

this probably has been said in some way before but I need to shitpost. So. Ehe.

Sometimes, I think about how Aimeric was referred to as a child while Laurent is an adult despite them being pretty close in age. And then I think about how that was probably because Laurent realized that he was being sexually abused by the r*gent, and eventually came to the conclusion that the r*gent didn't love him. He essentially broke free from one of the cycles his uncle trapped him in, and that's why he's referred to as an adult. He stopped being mentally dependent on someone very dangerous and toxic all by himself, which is something the realistically requires a lot of perseverance and willpower and it's something that is very much easier said than done.

But with Aimeric, until his dying breath, he was convinced that the r*gent loved him. He was a victim that never got the chance to fully realize that he was being abused, and he was a victim that genuinely didn't want to believe that. That's why he's a child; he was mentally dependent on the r*gent's supposed "love" for him and couldn't stand the idea of anything that implied otherwise.

Going back to Laurent, I think Aimeric is a version of him BEFORE he realized that he was being abused. Meaning there definitely was a time where Laurent was just like him in a sense that, he had a hard time believing he wasn't loved, and definitely didn't want to believe that his uncle was abusing him. So like if we take it a step further, I think Aimeric dying symbolizes Laurent's child self "dying". This is further supported by the fact that Aimeric took his own life himself, which I think is a reference to how Laurent forced himself to becoming an adult by "killing his childhood self" (aka coming to the realization about his dangerous situation). Another way to put this, is that Laurent was forced to grow up whereas Aimeric never got that chance.

Now what's sad about Aimeric being a child (besides the obvious) is uh. Well. Jord. I haven't read the short story between them so I can't say much, but the relationship between Jord and Aimeric is sad specifically for Aimeric for several reasons. One of them is that since Jord is the one that suggested that Aimeric is a child verbally, this means that Aimeric has never experienced an actual relationship where he is considered to be on equal footing with someone. I mean just the fact that Jord refers to him as a child just sets off a lot of power imbalance flags (in his relationship with Jord) and this is in contrary to Laurent and Damen's relationship. Obviously their relationship at first was very much not equal, but one of their biggest moments is when Damen affirms to Laurent that he is a man, not a boy when they're about to have sex. ("As a man takes a man.")

This is also why I'm hesitant on shipping Jord and Aimeric. Although Jord is definitely not the r*gent, he's still someone that did have sex with Aimeric WHILE considering him a child. (Again maybe the short story says otherwise sjejdnr) Now I don't want to compare and Jord with the r*gent, but you can't deny that there are similarities. That being said, what's interesting is that while Jord considers Aimeric a child, the r*gent considers him an adult (because of the r*gent losing interest in those above 15). This fact really supports the idea of Aimeric never really growing up, because while his two "love interests" (if you can even call it that) loved him in different parts of his life, they both saw him as a child.