That man had seen through the Regent's plan, understood that he wanted Damen to bed Laurent so the revelation of who he was would crush him, and thought Laurent truly didn't know who he was.
And still, he slept with him.
That's such a selfish side of Damen, one that I truly love. Because Damen is such a selfless, good-natured character - but he has such an intense love for Laurent, it makes him legit go a bit insane. What he feels for him is so powerful, it literally makes him a bit unhealthy, selfish and out of character.
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I have a side file titled "Dump" for all of my fics, where I copy and paste the stuff that I decide to cut out or edit because it doesn't fit in the story.
For instance, I cut out the scene below because it was clashing with the rest of the fic, which is much more light-hearted than this excerpt. I like it though, so I'm posting it here!
*
Damen wakes up in a daze. His back and brow are soaked in sweat, while his stomach is twisted in knots and a sinking sensation settled deep in his chest. When he tries to move, he finds his limbs heavy, sluggish. The drowsy fog clouding his mind prevents Damen from opening his eyes for long minutes after his alarm stops ringing.
He can't remember the last time waking up felt this awful.
If Damen eventually manages to drag his lumbering bulk out of bed, it is out of sheer necessity; he has spent far too long in the limbo between consciousness and sleep; he cannot afford to lose any more time. He sighs and he groans, but he ends up rising regardless. Then, he slips into his well-worn morning routine and sets off for a jog. Damen's preferred path runs along the edge of the cliff his house is built upon, where he is met by a crisp morning breeze and the loud cries of seagulls. While both aid in lifting the haze blurring the edges of his mind, they do not help with the tight little knot clinging to the pit of his stomach.
Because of his earlier delay in getting up, Damen arrives twenty minutes late to his last training session of the week. Makedon watches him walk in with arms crossed and brows furrowed. He doesn't look angry. The feeling contorting his features is something else - something worse.
Worry.
As Damen draws near, Makedon opens his mouth-
"Sorry I'm late. Rough night. I'll get started right away," Damen says.
-then closes it. Damen walks past him, towards the spear rack that stands against the far wall. They spend the next minute or two in silence, until Makedon accepts Damen's dismissal for what it is and starts giving instructions instead of asking questions.
My ptsd when the prompt is "summer palace" (I had to redraw it from scratch for last lamenweek so now I post this too)
Idk how much I'll be online because of college and irl stuff🥹
But I really love the lamen week sooo I can't skip it - even if this year I probably won't be able to make new detailed draws in time for every prompt.
I skipped too many lamen weeks in the past already, I have to make up for that uwu
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maybe its because im jaded from too many dark novels i read.
but part of me thinks that the only reasons Damen made to the very end without being killed is because of his knowledgeable fighting skills, because how staunch the council was when it came to honor and cultural traditions and, of course, because of Laurent Laurent Laurent.
Damen is just too honorable of a man to exist IRL in my opinion 😭
and i just love how Damen is such a sub for Laurent. and it isnt even because of the horrible stuff he saw or endured in book 1 and 2 under Laurent's command. later on Jocaste confirms that Damen has always been a gentle lover. he always wants to make the person he is making love to feel cared for and cherished. him being a sub is all about him wanting to care for those he loves. which is such an honorable kingly thing to do.