#agrotera

You were excited. You knew that the Doctor had traveled with her before, and for quite a long time. Longer than you? Probably, you didn't know for sure. But you knew exactly what you were starting to worry. They were friends, he said, but were they? Maybe they were more than that? Maybe there was still something? You would never have started thinking that way right away if you weren't having feelings for the Doctor yourself.

A few months ago, you were finally able to understand this and admit it to yourself. But did he understand something? Of course not. And you weren't going to confess to him, you didn't want to spoil this wonderful, fantastic, brilliant friendship between you. Because he was wonderful, fantastic and brilliant. You've had so many incredible adventures, and you hoped there was much more to come. You didn't want to, couldn't spoil and complicate it all with most likely non-reciprocal feelings.

And yet you began to think more and more about the warm looks he gave you, how he constantly hugged you and hold your hand gently but firmly. He used to do this during your runnings, but recently he had been doing it just like that if he led you through or helped you step up somewhere. Sometimes holding you by the waist. God. You would never let go of his hand if it was possible. His hand was warm, with the tips of his long fingers being slightly cold.

But you tried to stop yourself from thinking with that he was just a tactile alien, just a person who was used to communicating with so many people quite that way. Especially with his companions. It was stupid to think that he was less nice to them than he was to you.

So, the chance to ruin everything was much, much greater than taking the risk and confessing your feelings to him.

Ten minutes later, the Doctor was knocking on Donna's door. Opening the door, she happily opened her mouth, squeaking and throwing herself into the arms of the alien.

"Doctor!!!"

"Donna!!!"

He hugged her and spun her around in his arms. Releasing her back to the ground, he took a step back to you, proudly declaring, "Y/N, this is Donna Noble, my best friend in the whole wide universe! Donna Noble, this is Y/N… My, well... Y/N L/N."

The doctor looked puzzled, quickly looking from you to Donna, as if he didn't know what else he could say about you. Whereas he called Donna his best friend. In the whole universe. Oh. It hurt you. Maybe you need to go through even more time travels and trials, but you thought, you wanted to believe that there was something special between you, that it was you who could be his best friend. But it turns out that he didn't even call you just a friend. He probably didn't want to offend with such a comparison after all.

Donna grinned at him.

"Hi, Y/N L/N!" she said, playfully pronouncing your name and looking you over. But she quickly returned to the Doctor, ceasing to smile, "So, now let's get back to business."

"Get back to what? You haven't even told me what happened to you!" The Doctor complained.

"You tell me! Why is it that so long after our adventures, some alien knocked on my door this morning and told me that my hour had finally come and tomorrow I would be honored and taken to the wedding? What sort of wedding?? I've had enough of running around with you from other aliens in a wedding dress, you know!"

The Doctor frowned, "What alien? Describe them."

"It’s a turquoise semi-lizard. Just like on the planet..."

"Lacertius-3!" exclaimed the Doctor.

"Yes, that's right. Where you and I were captured by some local king or something..."

"Of course! And where I told him that you would become his bride, so that..."

"YOU SAID WHAT?!"

"... so that he would let us go! How do you think we got out of there?"

"Doctor..." you interjected, gently tugging at his coat sleeve, but he didn't pay attention to it given he was busy defending himself from Donna's attacks, "Doctor!"

"Hmm?" he turned to you.

"Do these Lacertises have a crest on their heads?" you asked.

"Lacertonians, not Lacertises. But yes, they do. Oh, well done, Y/N, you're learning fast from me the cognition of the universe," The Doctor chuckled approvingly, but then frowned, "But how did you know?"

You silently pointed your finger to the side, where two such lizard people were standing, who began to move towards you, "It seems we should probably-"

"RUN!" the Doctor shouted, grabbing both of you by the arms.

"No, but tell me, WHY did you promise that to that lizard king?!" Donna asked indignantly, out of breath from running.

"To save us, I told you! Well, and I didn't "promise", I just said it! And if you didn't know, and you didn't, these creatures have a habit of choosing a new partner once every hundred years..."

You barely dodged the blue beam of the blaster, and the Doctor had to jump over the guardrail.

"...but who knew that those hundred years were already coming to an end!"

"Well, YOU should have known, Mr. Smartass!" snapped Donna, sweeping a cyclist riding towards her off the road. The blasters fired a few more times after you, but you managed to turn the corner after the others in time.

You were breathing heavily, hiding in a small corner.

"Are you okay?" the Doctor asked anxiously, lightly touching your cheek, "These were most likely stun blasters, not attack blasters, but nevertheless! Did it hurt you?"

"No, Doctor, it's fine!" you assured him, running your hand over his forearm and looking into his eyes. There was a slight pause.

"I'm fine too, if anyone cares! No, just won-der-ful! Except for the fact that they want to make me the wife of some lizard! Doctor, do something about it!" demanded Donna.

You spent the rest of the day running around London, hiding from the Lacertonians as they surrounded the TARDIS and Donna's house. You sneaked your way back to the nearby cafe, from where you started to spy of the window at the TARDIS and all the lizards surrounding it and try to come up with a plan of action. The Doctor was visibly relaxed, as the whole situation did not seem too serious to him against the background of saving planets and galaxies and even "just" someone's lives. Of course, he would help, but the whole adventure was perceived by him as more of a side quest, during which he allowed himself jokes about Donna's new lizard husband and simply demonstrated a good mood from meeting an old friend.

Right now, he was sitting with you across from Donna, with his arm thrown over the couch, and eating ice cream from your bowl.

"Doctor, enough!" you jokingly protested, "You've already eaten your own, go get another portion for yourself!"

He grinned broadly, scooping up another spoonful of sherbet, "You know it tastes better this way. Besides, I don't have any Earth money!"

You moaned, pushing his spoon away from your bowl with your spoon. He deftly fended off your attack, took your spoon aside and scooped up some more ice cream, "Don't even try. I don't like weapon, but I'm definitely better at fencing than you are!"

Before you could say something indignantly, he put that spoon in his mouth, smiling innocently, lights danced in his eyes.

Donna, who was sitting opposite with a stony face, asked, "Am I bothering you two? I can invite you both to witness my apparently future wedding."

"Sorry. So, what is our plan?" the Doctor asked a little more seriously, although the smile was still playing on his lips. Before Donna could say anything, he continued, "I've already thought of everything! That!"

"A spoon...?" said still-Miss Noble, puzzled.

"Yes... Melchior! In this cafe the kitchen utensils are made of nickel silver! This alloy should reflect the rays of the P-type in its composition! Let's take some trays..."

"And lure these lizards out step by step, reflecting their paralyzing rays back into themselves!" said Donna.

"Exactly, brilliant!"

It turned out to be quite long and tedious, but Donna coped with the task best of all, in the end even stunning one of the Lacertonians with this very tray shouting "I'm not going to marry your boss!"

Laughing, the Doctor ran into the TARDIS and hugged Donna, saying, "Isn't the legendary Donna Noble the best? Oh, how I missed this!" and went to set up the spaceship for the course to the planet of the turquoise lizardmen.

"I'm warning you, it's going to take quite a long time to fly there, so you go do something… Oh no," the Doctor groaned, "They damaged the defensive system while they were trying to get in here! We need to fix it before our stop at Lacertius-3! So definitely go and get busy with something, yeah?"

That was what you did, taking a walk around the TARDIS with Donna.

"I missed it. Everything is so familiar and at the same time... unusual..." she mused, running her hand along the walls of the spaceship, "When you stop traveling with the Doctor, it starts to feel like you don't belong here anymore, even though there is such a bittersweet feeling of nostalgia, as if you have returned to your hometown or school..."

You smiled slightly, "I think he's very happy to see you and even... ready to travel with you again if you wanted to?"

"What?" asked Donna, "Oh no, my time here is over, it's your turn to enjoy it. And you seem to be doing it well," she grinned, "The Doctor's favorite companion."

"What?" it was your turn to wonder, "Didn't you hear that he called you..." your voice trembled slightly, "The best friend in the whole universe?"

She laughed, "Yes, which makes me very flattered. And the Doctor is my best friend too, even if he is far away from me now. And?"

"And... and I'm his... Y/N? Y/N L/N, to be precise, as he said."

"Yes? Would you also like to be his best-best friend? I'm sure he greatly appreciates you as a friend too, of course! It's the Doctor! I can't imagine that this man would fall in love with someone without seeing them as a close friend!"

"He would WHAT?"

"What?" Donna was no less shocked than you were, "Aren't you...? Aren't you... a thing, the two of you?"

Looking at your speechless face, Donna had an insight, "Oh, did I make a mistake? I'm sorry, Y/N, it just seemed so natural.… I wanted to ask later, but it's good that it happened between us now. I thought you liked him, I'm sorry. Are you sure it’s not the case?"

"I..." you could barely mumble it softly, feeling your cheeks fill with heat, "Like him..."

"Oh...OH," and now Donna had a final insight, "This man. This SPACEMAN. Sure. I should have known. I'll go and tell him everything..."

"What? No, no, no, what are you going to tell him??" You barely managed to stop Donna in her determined stride back to the console room of the TARDIS, where the Doctor was still fiddling with the protective field settings.

"That he's the biggest idiot in the universe. In case he didn't know about it yet, but apparently he didn't."

"What do you mean?"

Now she stopped herself, "I didn't know it makes the two of you here… Are you serious right now?"

"Don't tell me he likes me too. I mean, likes me so much so that..."

"What do you think, Y/N? From the minute he introduced you, I felt there was some other energy here. And I sense it, believe me! You've been acting like a couple the whole day. The way he held your hand, asking if everything was okay.… Oh, and the cafe? Do I really need to say that I felt like a third wheel on your date? If this isn't flirting, then what is?"

You were embarrassed, "We were just chatting and sitting there… As usual."

"And how often does he usually throw his arm around you and hugs you?"

"He what? We were just sitting next to each other! His hand was on the couch..."

"... lying almost on your shoulder. Oh, please, Y/N." Donna twisted her smile.

You were visibly confused, "I can understand all this... probably… But nothing else is happening, right?"

"And it won't happen as long as the two of you..." she began, but was pushed back against the wall of the TARDIS with you. You heard the Doctor's voice, "We're here!"

"Please don't say anything to him now! Donna, I'm serious! I'll handle this on my own, okay?" you pleaded. You still couldn't believe what she'd said, and you definitely wanted to think about it some more.

But there was really no time to continue the conversation – you were immediately captured by a series of adventures on the planet Lacertius-3: you soon met a girl of another race, the adventurer Piich, who told you that you could try to appease the lizard king with an ancient treasure, showed you the way through the red lush jungles to the temple, where you had your daily portion of running through the traps (although the most dangerous thing was enraged Donna). The ancient treasure, of course, turned out to be a product of technology from a completely different forgotten alien race (but, of course, the Doctor knew about it).

Then Piich helped you get into the king's castle, where you were hiding from the guards, running away from the guards, and eventually tried to appease the king with the treasure, who immediately forgot about it after seeing an alien girl who helped you on your travels. But did she help?

To your great luck, Piich forgot about her initial plan and about her upcoming reward, which she wanted to get by giving Donna to the lizard king, because, to even greater luck, the lizard king forgot about Donna when he saw Piich, and decided to make Piich his new wife. Unlike the human red-haired woman, this alien girl was not at all opposed to marrying the king of an entire planet, albeit modest in its size.

Everyone was left satisfied and having their feet sore. And personally, you also got the vague feeling that the Doctor was acting a little strange and distant, communicating more with Donna the rest of the day than with you.

You were invited to a feast, but you all refused it. The Doctor, because he didn't like feasts, Donna, because she found out that the king has a crown prince and wouldn’t he just dare to lay his lizard eyes on her. And you, who didn't have an appetite and mood at all because of the whole thing with the Doctor and that interrupted conversation with Donna. You decided to finish it while the Doctor was chatting lively with Piich and congratulating the future newlyweds.

"See?" You said softly to Donna, pointing to the Doctor and how he nicely communicated with Piich and hugged her tightly, "I'm far from being the only one in the universe with whom the Doctor behaves like this. Plus, I know how many companions he had. I won’t believe he was any less sweet to them than he was to me."

"You've got to believe it. Moreover, there will be another proof soon. A-a-and… now!" Donna elbowed you lightly. At that moment, the Doctor, continuing his conversation with Peach and the lizard king, began to look around the room and finally saw you and smiled so broadly. You couldn't help but smile back, and he slightly but merrily jumped up a little on the spot and continued his conversation with two aliens.

"How did you know he was going to turn around??"

"See? Secrets of the Time Lords," Donna smirked, "Seriously, Y/N, it doesn't take a minute for the Doctor to look at you, no matter where you are! Don't you notice that? If that's the case, you can thank me and take it as a sign to act at last."

You stood there, amazed once again, and your slightly numb brain could only come up with, "Yes, but... Rose?..."

Donna paused, and then continued, "What do you mean? She was... a long time ago. And as I see it, he's finally happy now again, really happy. He allowed himself to be like that. With you. Do you understand, Y/N, how he looks at you? It's not just a gaze of a friend. He laughs, smiles like a child, a happy child. And all other things he does with you. Because of you. No, just... don't argue. I’ve traveled with him and have known him for a long time to say that he has never looked at others or me like that. And he won't ever. I'm just his best friend in the whole wide universe, after all."

She smiled.

"Now go and do something about it, you two."

You were finally back on the spaceship. Before launching the TARDIS, the Doctor was leaning against the frame of the open door, dreamily but slightly sadly admiring the view of the blooming red jungle with silver flowers. You knew what he was thinking, because he often told you about his home planet.

"Just like on Gallifrey..." he said with a mixture of nostalgia and longing in his voice and added softly, "I wish I could take you there."

Your eyes met, and there was silence. Your heart skipped a beat, making you remember the conversation you had with Donna before.

"Doctor, I..."

"Well! Let's go home, then!" he interrupted you, abruptly turning deep into the TARDIS, he went to the console, intending to take off. You followed him, not knowing what exactly you wanted to say to him, but you didn't want to left the dialogue like that. But the Doctor didn't seem to be paying attention to you, fiddling with the buttons on the console with slightly trembling hands, carefully avoiding your gaze.

"Hey, Doc, wait!" said Donna, "I want to walk around here a little more. It's not that I'm visiting another planets so much these days, you know," she winked and headed outside the TARDIS.

"Wait, wait, wait, Donna, I'm going with you!" the Doctor protested and was about to left with her. Well. He didn't even want to continue the dialogue and listen to what you were going to tell him.

But still-Miss Noble turned him and said through clenched teeth, "No, Spaceman, you stay here, I want to go for a walk ALONE. Do you understand me?" she scowled at him and before the Doctor could object, she slammed the TARDIS door shut, leaving the two of you alone.

The silence returned to you again, and the Doctor came back to the TARDIS console. Usually you did not understand most of his manipulations with technology, but even you already began to feel that his actions were meaningless at that moment.

"Doctor..." you started.

"So, now we'll set up a return route and I should probably do a condition check of the ship, in case something is damaged again..." he muttered.

"Doctor!"

He turned around, there was an almost unreadable mix of emotions in his eyes, so many of them were at one point in time.

You came a little closer, "Doctor, I... want to talk to you, if I may."

"Yes, Y/N?" his eyebrows started to rise up slightly pleadingly.

"You said that Donna is your best friend in the whole universe."

"That's right!" The Doctor smiled broadly, feeling slightly relieved, thinking that this was the point of the conversation, "She's brilliant, isn't she? Now you've seen it for yourself!"

"And then who am I?"

He stopped smiling for a moment, swallowed, and then a nervous wry smile began to appear on his face along with a red color on his cheeks.

"Y-you... well, you're also my… best friend, of course!"

"Isn't the point of a best friend that there can only be one?"

"Yes!" the Doctor readily agreed.

"Then how is this possible?" you wondered.

"Well, Donna is my best platonic friend," the Doctor replied, not realizing what trap he had just walked himself into.

"What kind of friend am I, then?" you asked.

"And you... are… not platonic..." he said slowly and softly, turning even redder.

You'd just noticed that with every question and answer you took a step towards each other, and now you were inches apart. Your own cheeks started to burn from that realization.

He was so close now, you looked at his beautiful face and once again wanted to count all the freckles on it. Your gaze moved from his thin nose to his thin but sensual lips, and then to expressive eyes of the color of a melted chocolate.

"Can you explain to me it better..?" You almost whispered, raising your eyes to him.

The Doctor brought his face close to yours with his mouth slightly open and his eyelids half-closed, lightly hugged your shoulders. You began to hear his breath and the beating of his two hearts, which became louder and louder. It was all happening like in a slow motion.

And then he kissed you.

It was a very gentle and careful kiss, you could feel the tingle from his warm, slightly electrified lips, which sent goosebumps through your whole body. He pulled back a bit to see your reaction, his eyes expressing a mixture of tenderness and incredible seriousness, bordering on the almost immobility of his gaze.

Your hands moved to his waist during the kiss, and they stayed there.

"Yes." was all you said, reaching out to him and kissing him back more firmly. With a loud exhale and a light moan, he deepened the kiss, which made you want to moan yourself, increasing the degree of emotion every turning second.

It was as if his lips were made for yours, as if they were pieces of a puzzle that had once been there. Like himself as a whole, it was one big piece of the puzzle that had finally come together, completely and irrevocably.

After a lips-to-lips kiss that seemed to last forever, he ran his tongue over your lower lip, asking for permission to go inside. Did he need that permission? Of course not, but you were glad that he asked it non-verbally anyway.

You opened your mouth slightly and the Doctor, sighing noisily, slipped his tongue deep into you. It felt like some sort of a human and alien heaven already, but now it had become absolutely impossibly good. Your tongues danced with each other as your legs felt weak, your whole body seemed to melt in the Doctor's arms. Your Doctor’s arms.

Your arms, which had been hugging his neck for a long time, moved to his hair, burrowing into it. Oh, how you'd wanted to touch them for a long time. Not to ruffle them jokingly like you'd done a couple of times before, but... like this. As if you had every right to do that. Now you probably really had it now, and that made your legs even wobblier.

You pulled his hair lightly, which made the Doctor moan slightly, and you felt his arms tighten around you. It seems that both of you were ready to split into atoms from all the feelings that overwhelmed you.

It was a wonderful feeling of the nucleating supernova of your love.

"Doctor, I..." it was all you could say after that, to which he just happily exhaled, smiling broadly, looking into your eyes and gently holding your shoulders, being not able to say anything himself.

You were amazed not only by what happened, but also by how quickly it all happened. Then it began to dawn on you. You smiled a little.

"Let me guess... Did Donna talk to you too?"

While the Doctor was taking a deep breath to give some long, babbling answer, at that moment the door of the TARDIS slightly opened, from where Miss Noble herself stepped inside.

"Of course. Because how else could you two figure it out?" she replied nonchalantly, "Now I have every right to invite you two to my future wedding. NOT with an alien husband, I emphasize, otherwise I'll put you at different tables, and you'll just sit here and only be giving Y/N all the hopeless looks again, Doctor. Waiting and dying for my wedding dance all day long, so that after it you can get to and finally invite Y/N to dance or something like that!"

It was always so great, sitting comfortably side by side in the doorway of the TARDIS and swinging your legs in the blackness of space, your faces were illuminated by a warm yellow and orange light. You and the Doctor were used to discuss the latest happenings and moments, share stories from the past, muse about future plans and then you usually sat silent together, enjoying the warmth of nearby stars and each other.

Lately, in moments like that, he liked to take your hand in his and draw different circular shapes with his thumb, just gazing at the kaleidoscope of stars and planets, not being able to look directly at you and barely hiding a happy smile.

This time you were also sitting there like that, but you hardly talked and everything was different.

Because you had kissed earlier that day.

You spent the whole day on another spaceship, saving its crew and escaping from the danger yourself. You had to split up with the Doctor, and you went to the compartment where the dangerous alien ended up being too. When you finally managed to get rid of it, you rushed to the Doctor, meeting him in the hallway, where he was already hastening towards you. When he saw that you were safe and sound, realizing that he hadn't lost you, he couldn't hold back his feelings any longer. Just like you.

It was pure adrenaline, you kissed passionately, embracing each other tightly, hands tangling in his hair. You didn't have a second to think, your bodies were doing everything on their own, everything that you should have done long ago, because both of you couldn't contain all the feelings that had been overwhelming you for a much time.

But you were quickly interrupted by the crew members coming up to you, stunning with the news that that the alien monster was not in fact the only one here, so you had to run again and come up with a new plan.

And that was a moment the Doctor got what he was both the best and sometimes the worst at. Time to think. Too much time to think.

During which he almost lost you again, in front of his own eyes this time, deciding that it was all too much. Precisely, remembering once again all the reasons why he had condemned himself to his own solitude and found confirmation of the correctness of his decision one more time.

Therefore, after you had saved the crew of the spaceship, you went to your own ship and, having reached your favorite place of the bisolar system, just sat there without saying a word to each other about what had happened. Or rather, you tried, but the Doctor's whole attitude said you shouldn't.

You knew he didn't think it was an accident or a mistake, but he couldn't approve of it either. You understood what was the matter because you had known him long enough and well enough to have a mere idea of what was going on in his head at that moment.

He held your hand, gently tracing circles on your skin with his thumb. Sometimes he would look you in the eye, but still wouldn't say anything. In that warm orange light, his chocolate eyes and freckles seemed even more expressive.

You looked lovingly at those freckles and once again saw beautiful constellations on his face that you swear you could redraw onto a starry sky map by connecting them all.

"Doctor, I..." you broke the silence, unable to watch the moment slipping away any longer as the Doctor was overthinking it more and more.

"No," the Doctor interrupted you quietly but firmly.

"Why?" you asked plaintively, already knowing the answer to that question. In response, the Doctor just gave you a pleading look that could barely hide the pain.

"I know that you've been through a lot, lost a lot of people.… But surely this shouldn't happen every time, should it?"

The Doctor only slightly curled his lips into a bitter smile.

"In the end, it is us who choose this fate, we, your companions. It's not your fault that someone leaves or... or..."

"Dies," The Doctor finished it for you, "Y/N, I don't want to, I can't experience that again! Especially not with you."

"Doctor, I'm not going to die anytime soon. And besides, it's not you who would die! You shall live on, as always. You will continue your journey. You've seen it a hundred times, you should have gotten used to it. This does not mean that you need to keep your distance from everyone now on. If I were you..."

"You don't know what you're talking about," he snapped darkly.

"If I were a Time Lord, I would be more courageous, because I would have all the time and all the wisdom in the world, especially when the other person doesn't mind," you finished your thought.

"Thank gods you're not a Time Lord!" The Doctor jumped to his feet, angry, "And I would pray every day you won't understand what that means!"

You got to your feet after the Doctor and delicately took his hands in yours, trying to calm him down and reassure. He pulled his hands away from yours with a hesitation and looked away, shaking his head slightly, making a bad attempt to say "no" to your relationship.

"Doctor..." you began softly, taking his hands in yours again and lightly rubbing circles with your thumbs. So, you stood there in silence for some time, until you continued, "I've noticed that lately you've been drawing the same circles on my skin a lot. On my arm when we're sitting like this. On my back when you're hugging me. On my shoulder, if we're standing and talking to someone. Are these symbols in Gallifreyan?"

He returned the surprised look to you, without responding to it.

"What do they mean, what do you want to tell me all this time?"

"Is it really necessary to say it out loud?" The Doctor asked seriously, looking into your eyes. His expression was almost unreadable due to the huge mix of different feelings that were intertwined inside him. You stood silent.

"Is it?" he repeated in a quiet breaking voice.

After a moment, that felt like an eternity to him, you finally said:

"I love you too, Doctor."

He looked at you with his mouth slightly open, shocked. His eyebrows seemed pleading.

The Doctor didn't know what to say anymore, but he desperately wanted to protect himself and you from the pain that he thought would follow soon enough. Especially soon by his own measurements. So, he found nothing better than, after some hesitation, to gently touch your temples with his long fingers. You felt the heat of his hands along with the light chill of his very fingertips.

"Y/N, I'm so sorry, but you have to see this, to feel it at least a little bit to truly understand me," the Doctor whispered.

After that, by the power of his telepathy, he began to translate some of the memories and emotions that he had experienced over the past decades. Sarah Jane, Martha Jones, Donna Noble. Rose. There were many other people he had met and lost during his adventures. You felt his joy, and then his pain after every face you saw. Tears started flowing down your cheeks. You understood that he hadn't shown you even half of his life, especially the loss of his home planet, his people, his family. All these were carefully chosen memories of the Doctor, so as not to drive you completely devastated.

And then you saw yourself. Saw and sensed in his memories the vivid feeling of how he met you, how you started traveling together. Every feature of you, your smile, your voice, your words, your shared memories. The joy of every moment that made his and your hearts flutter and beat so fast. You began to feel overwhelmed by emotions of such power that it was difficult to breathe – it was more intense than anything he had shown you before. Everything seemed and felt to be like in a golden glow.

And then it all went out into the darkness.

You understood, or rather, you could only imagine what could happen to the Doctor when all this would be over. He looked at you, barely holding back tears himself, with a face full of ache and despair. And love, so strong, which he was afraid of losing, before even fully obtaining it.

"Doctor..." you whispered, slowly placing your hands on top of his, gently caressing them.

He couldn't even say anything, but his expression said, "Maybe now you'll understand why I'm doing all this."

But you didn't give up. You couldn't give up. Damn it, was it the love, or what was it then?

"And now take a look into my mind," you said a little louder, pressing his hands harder against your temples.

"Are you sure?" the Doctor asked in surprise.

"Yes. Please."

And then he saw it all. All the events that he had experienced himself, but through your eyes. What exactly was your life like before him. The way you met. That you felt right away that he was special and would always be so in your life. He saw his own features, his own soul through your eyes. He saw himself from a side he had never seen before. He liked to call himself smart and brilliant, but it was more always a self-persuasion, a moment of humor or cheekiness. But this time he felt it truly, the love for every trait of him without an admixture of irony or bragging.

He had been running from himself for most of his life, and now he realized, he really understood that he could be loved and accepted the way he was, the way he always wanted to be.

Tears began to form in the Doctor's eyes.

He realized that you weren't traveling with him because your life was boring before him. Not because it was difficult sometimes before that. And not just because it was all amazing and new, that he was a fantastic alien like you hadn't never seen before. But because it was him in the first place. Because of the Doctor himself. He felt that you had chosen him the same way if he was an ordinary inhabitant of Earth, and you would be happy to spend your earthly lives together with him. Just because of what he was like deep down inside, in his core.

It seemed like his two hearts were about to stop beating, overflowing with feelings. His legs could barely support him standing on the floor of the TARDIS. At that moment, the Doctor realized that he would be a complete fool, a complete coward, if he did not take his chance.

No one chooses to be born as a Time Lord, but everyone can choose trying to defy time personally and take a bold look into its infinite eyes.

And that was why he kissed you again.

He kissed you with all his might, with all the passion he could muster.

It was more than enough to almost sweep you off your feet and nearly break you into pieces, but you held on to that blow and when you got over the surprise of the moment, you responded with equal intensity of affection.

Finally, you fully and unhurriedly savoured what the Doctor tasted like. He felt like some kind of milk chocolate and spiced cinnamon with a hint of sweet and sour berries. This combination made your head spin even more, it was a taste that you were ready to feel for ages without getting tired.

It was a kiss set against the backdrop of super-hot stars and boundess planets, a kiss that was capable of transcending space and time.

Love, passion and emotions were ignited inside you, which were hardly less intense than the temperature of the said stars that shone on you with bright orange and yellow fire.

Pulling back slightly, the Doctor held you by the waist with one hand and with the other hand tenderly stroked your cheek, drawing round symbols on it. He couldn't take his eyes off you, admiring you from under half-closed, still tearful eyes of the color of a melted chocolate.

Feeling the familiar circular symbols on your skin again, you exhaled happily, still feeling the trails of hot tears on your cheeks, which were slowly drying off. Your lips stretched into a smile.

"I love you too, Doctor."

"Say it again," he asked in a whisper.

"I love you, Doctor."

"And again."

"I love..." and with those words, he kissed you one more time, wrapping you tightly in his arms and spinning you around against the background of magnificent bright stars.

He promised himself that he would no longer be afraid of Time, not with you. After all, he was its Lord. He would definitely come up with something and find a way to work it all out.

And not because he was a Time Lord, but because he was the Doctor, and you trusted him. Trusted him endlessly.