#ageing parent

Tough Challenges We Face as Our Parents Grow Older

It’s easy to think that our parents are going to be around forever, isn’t it? it’s easy to think they’ll always be the same and never grow older, and subsequently always be fit and healthy enough to look after us. Unfortunately, however, Father Time always has his way, and these hopes and dreams are squashed. Unfortunately, our parents grow old and it’s not them that has to look after us anymore,…

As people get older, they may come across negative attitudes about ageing. It doesn’t mean that you or your ageing parents have to accept stereotypes about seniors. A lack of knowledge about ageing sustains these myths and can lead to age discrimination. The reality is the vast majority of seniors lead healthy and active lives, and make significant contributions to their family and the community. To help bust these myths, the Queensland Government has devised a list of five common ageing myths and the reality.

Common myths

1. Myth: Older people are an economic burden on society. Reality: Older people make a significant contribution to the economy:

Travellers aged 65 years and over took an estimated 8 million overnight trips accounting for 11% of all domestic overnight trips (2005).

They donate generously to charity. In 2006, 2 million people aged over 65 (78% of all people) made personal donations to organisations.

One in five (22%) of carers in Queensland are 65 years and over (2015).

More than a quarter (28%) of Queenslanders aged 65 to 75 years volunteered, while more than one-fifth (21%) aged 75 years and over volunteered (2015).

2. Myth: All old people are unwell. Reality: The majority of older people are healthy and active, particularly those under 80 years old. In 2011 only 6% of people aged 65 and older lived in nursing homes (67%) and retired or aged care facilities (25%).

3. Myth: Older people are unable to learn or change. Reality: There are increasing numbers of older people pursuing university studies while others attend informal classes through the University of the Third Age. Many seniors learn new things to allow them to take part in activities and leisure interests.

4. Myth: Memory loss and senility comes with age. Reality: Studies show you can maintain intellect and creativity into old age. While your risk of dementia does increase, it affects only about 5% of older people.

5. Myth: Older people are more likely to be victims of criminal assault and robbery. Reality: People aged 65 and over are less likely to be victims of crime than other adults.

As you can see the negative stereotypes about ageing are just that – stereotypes. When we get the facts, we can see how these ageing myths are easily busted. So next time your ageing parents start reinforcing these negative stereotypes, just remind them of these positive facts about ageing and bust those ageing myths once and for all.

The original version of this article appeared on the Queensland Government’s website. Reproduced under Creative Commons Licence. This version has been edited.

Photo credit: Old people couple together connected rock by Huskyherz

Important note: This article has been reproduced under Creative Commons Attribution licence. Carers’ Corner is an Australian website and the information in this article might be specific to Australia. We do not provide health, legal, financial or other advice and this article should not be used for making decisions. You and others should seek advice from suitably qualified professionals. Any use you make of this article is at your own risk and to the extent permitted by law we disclaim all liability in connection with this article. You should read the Disclaimer + legal terms on carerscorner.com for more details about this and the basis on which this article is provided.

Living in the same city as your family members can be a huge advantage in the provision and monitoring of care and support, especially as the living arrangements of people as they age likely undergo some change such as the loss of a spouse or age related frailty. Many families however live in geographically dispersed situations necessitating alternative approaches to communicating and maintaining the familial relationship. Indeed, as more of the elderly live on their own, challenges can be compounded. So what do you do when your elderly parents live far away?

Careseekers recommends undertaking the following to ensure that long distance care giving can be as effective as possible.

1. Collect, store and share information

Spending time apart means having a solid information sharing process in place between family members so that issues such as declining health are not overlooked. Ensure all information on the medical needs of family members are captured; all advance directives regarding medical treatments and necessary documentation are available; and, include regular updates as the situation changes over time.

2. Use technology

Technology becomes a critical component to overcoming challenges in managing far away care. Use webinars, conference calls, Facebook pages, amongst others, to monitor and maintain communication between family members. You can also go one step further and use technology can to find care workers to provide additional support on-the-ground.

3. Explore professional services

Speak to social workers, and other community organisations in the local area to find out what support services might be available to your family (for example meals on wheels, home library services). Consider organising home services for shopping, home maintenance, cooking, cleaning and other household chores.

4. Prepare for unplanned travel

Allow for the fact that you parents may still be mobile and like to get out and about. Ensure that there is a process in place for notifying family members when your parents go away – ensure at the minimum you capture an address and phone number of where they are going. The same would apply in the event they may go to hospital for a brief stay.

5. Organise volunteers

Talk to friends and people who your parents may know and trust who live nearby to support with the above, and any emotional support when you can’t physically be there.

The original version of this article appeared on careseekers.com.au. Reproduced with permission.  

About Lauren Hockley

Lauren is the co-founder of Careseekers, an online marketplace connecting people looking for in-home carers with carers looking for work. She started the business with her sister Marissa after they saw their family struggle to find in-home carers for their grandparents who were adamant to stay at home as they aged. Lauren’s background is in advertising and marketing and has held marketing roles in start-ups, social enterprises and charities both in Australia and the UK. Lauren holds a Masters of Commerce in Marketing from the University of Sydney. She is passionate about using business as a vehicle for good. For more information: careseekers.com.au

Photo credit: Happy woman on the phone 

Important note:Carers’ Corner is not associated with Careseekers or the services it provides. This article is subject to copyright. Carers’ Corner is an Australian website and the information in this article might be specific to Australia. We do not provide health, legal, financial or other advice and this article should not be used for making decisions. You and others should seek advice from suitably qualified professionals. Any use you make of this article is at your own risk and to the extent permitted by law we disclaim all liability in connection with this article. You should read the Disclaimer + legal terms on carerscorner.com for more details about this and the basis on which this article is provided.

If you or a family member has recently been diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, it’s reassuring to know you are not alone. According to Alzheimer’s Australia there are more than 353,800 Australians living with some form of dementia so there are many many resources if you have a loved one with dementia.

There has never been more information available to help you and your family adjust to living with this condition. This month is Dementia Awareness Month and so we have compiled a list of the best resources to support you below.

Online

Alzheimers Australia Website

This should definitely be your first point of reference. Here you will find links to support and services in your state, downloadable fact sheets, helpful tools, videos, research papers and real life stories of others living with dementia.

Blogs

Reading about someone else’s experience in managing their dementia can be very insightful. Across the world caregivers and people have started sharing their stories. Here are a few great ones:

Dealing with Alzheimers – this is a firsthand account of Kris’s experience of being diagnosed with early onset dementia at the age of 46. She is now 60 and is still able to write about her experience.

Dealing with dementia – Kay Branford has written a blog that includes helpful tips and advice that she learned whilst caring for both her parents who experienced dementia and memory loss.

Apps

There are a number of apps being launched onto the market to help people living with dementia and those caring for people with dementia.

We have chosen to profile Mind Mate- a brilliant app that has thought of everything when it comes to living with dementia, for those affected and their loved ones.

The app has games which are meant to stimulate a users’ cognitive abilities. Games have been created based on world leading research.

It has a “Tools” section – which provides a helping hand to those living with early stage dementia. This includes tools to make notes, to-do lists, as well as helpful, customisable reminders.

A “Getting to know me” section is also provided – this is especially helpful when a person with dementia has to leave their home, or has to go to a hospital or care home as it provides identifiers which can be used to ensure proper treatment and contact with family members and loved ones.

The MindMate App also provides physical exercises and nutrition advice for a healthier lifestyle to stay mentally as well as physically fit.

Books

The following two books could be helpful to read as you grapple with a dementia diagnosis.

‘Not Right in the Head’ – Michelle Wyatt

A light-hearted, heart-warming account of how one family faced Alzheimer’s and how the almost comical events within the secure walls of the nursing home made them realise that humour was the only way through.

‘Where the Light Gets In: Losing My Mother Only to Find Her Again’ – Kimberly Williams-Paisley

Where the Light Gets In is written by Hollywood actress Kimberly Williams–Paisely who tells the  story of  her mother’s rare form of dementia called primary progressive aphasia—from her early-onset diagnosis at the age of 62 through the present day. Kim draws a candid picture of the ways her family reacted for better and worse, and how she, her father and two siblings educated themselves, tried to let go of shame and secrecy, made mistakes, and found unexpected humor and grace in the midst of suffering.

The original version of this article appeared on careseekers.com.au. Reproduced with permission.  

About Lauren Hockley

Lauren is the co-founder of Careseekers, an online marketplace connecting people looking for in-home carers with carers looking for work. She started the business with her sister Marissa after they saw their family struggle to find in-home carers for their grandparents who were adamant to stay at home as they aged. Lauren’s background is in advertising and marketing and has held marketing roles in start-ups, social enterprises and charities both in Australia and the UK. Lauren holds a Masters of Commerce in Marketing from the University of Sydney. She is passionate about using business as a vehicle for good. For more information: careseekers.com.au

Photo credit: Woman in Wheelchair by Kzenon

Important note:Carers’ Corner is not associated with Careseekers or the services it provides. This article is subject to copyright. Carers’ Corner is an Australian website and the information in this article might be specific to Australia. We do not provide health, legal, financial or other advice and this article should not be used for making decisions. You and others should seek advice from suitably qualified professionals. Any use you make of this article is at your own risk and to the extent permitted by law we disclaim all liability in connection with this article. You should read the Disclaimer + legal terms on carerscorner.com for more details about this and the basis on which this article is provided.

“Tell a person they are brave and you help them become so.” – Thomas Carlyle

As we get older, we face differing challenges about our health and abilities and it can often be difficult for family members to know how best to respond to these changes. Sadly, relatives of older people, and indeed society generally, have a tendency to treat them like they are stupid and incapable, by taking over and ‘helping’ in a way that actually doesn’t really help. We seem to have a belief that as we get older it automatically means we are less able both physically and mentally, and whilst there may be some decline in these areas it does not mean stupidity or incapability. We need to learn how to better communicate with our ageing parents.

Whilst it is acknowledged that this ‘helping’ is often done unconsciously and with seemingly good intention, the longer term outcomes of this approach are without doubt, detrimental to both ageing parents and the children who support them.

People who are restricted from doing what they are capable of doing will, over time, lose the ability and confidence to do these things and will become reliant on the person that has taken over. Of course for the person that takes over (usually the children of ageing parents), this means that they are now becoming relied upon to do certain things and as the person they ‘help’ becomes less confident and capable this burden of responsibility becomes greater and greater.

What few people realise is that our unconcscious style of communication is a major factor in creating issues for older people. The good news is that some simple changes can make a profound  difference to enable better outcomes and less stress for the family members involved.

At the heart of this change is the way we communicate and my Better Questions philosophy teaches people to do more ‘asking’ instead of ‘fixing’ and ‘telling’ as well as taking time to really listen, and not make assumptions.

When you ask questions you not only understand more about the situation and what is required from you, you also can enable the other person to generate their own ideas and actions and in the process of doing this, allow them to be responsible.

This aims to ensure that older people are supported to gain the greatest level of independence they can, and be as actively involved in making decisions about their life as possible. It embraces strengths and capabilities and in doing so enables older people to feel more motivated, engaged and live happier and healthier lives.

The Better Questions philosophy shifts the thinking of people that believe they are ‘helping’ from ‘doing for’ to ‘doing with’ and there is an underpinning recognition that the way we communicate is a really important aspect of being able to achieve this.

The starting point – some honest reflection

The starting point with any change has to be a mindset shift and I encourage people to really become aware of the consequences of how their unconscious way of helping is often detrimental and inhibits others.

We often try to solve people’s problems, or fix them. This can often be true when as the children of ageing parents, you will likely have a role definition in your mind that says, “As their daughter/son, I need to…” Or it could be, “I am now their carer, which means that I must…”. Have you considered that the person can know as much as you and indeed it is possible that they may well know better than you, particularly when it comes to making decisions about themselves and their own lives? But you are both so entrenched in your own roles (you as the fixer and your parent as the compliant one, just doing what they are told to do), that your parent becomes to feel disrespected and disempowered.

By becoming aware of how our unconscious approach adversely impacts others, I invite people to see how a change in mindset will drive different behaviours and ultimately enable different and better results. If we recognise that we need to be much more respectful of the other person in terms of really understanding their needs and limitations, as well their capabilities, we are likely to take a more considered approach to our response and not just assume incapability.

About Lindsay Tighe

As the founder of Better Questions are the Answer, Lindsay Tighe is a successful and highly regarded speaker, businesswoman, author and coach who is passionate about inspiring people to improve their own lives and the lives of others. Lindsay has written a number of books including “I’m Old Not Stupid” What older people think but don’t say and runs workshops empowering people to ask better questions.  Lindsay holds an MBA from Macquarie Graduate School of Management and regularly speaks at a variety of functions and media outlets. Lindsay lives in Melbourne, Australia with her husband Michael and two little dogs, Wilson and Becky. For more information on Lindsay or her workshops, go to www.betterquestions.com.au

Photo credit: Old woman by truk

Important note: This article is subject to copyright. Carers’ Corner is an Australian website and the information in this article might be specific to Australia. We do not provide health, legal, financial or other advice and this article should not be used for making decisions. You and others should seek advice from suitably qualified professionals. Any use you make of this article is at your own risk and to the extent permitted by law we disclaim all liability in connection with this article. You should read the Disclaimer + legal terms on carerscorner.com for more details about this and the basis on which this article is provided.

It’s never too late to pick up a musical instrument. In fact there are many reasons why it’s a great idea, particularly in old age.

We normally hear about reasons to increase music education for children, and for good cause. There are many cognitive and social benefits to playing an instrument that aid a child’s development. Consequently, as an older adult, there are long-term effects of having taken part in these musical activities, as it can limit cognitive decline.

Even a small amount of training can have long lasting effects. But this doesn’t mean that those who have never played an instrument in childhood have missed the boat. The ageing brain is plastic: that means it is able to learn new things all the time. So, should we consider an increase in music programs for those in the third age?

Playing music as a workout for the brain

Learning to play a musical instrument is an extremely complex task that involves the coordination of multiple sensory systems within the brain. Many instruments require precise coordination between the eyes, the ears and the hands in order to play a musical note. Using the resulting sound as feedback, the brain prepares for the next note and so it continues. The act of music-making is quite a brain workout.

The relationship between the motor and auditory parts of the brain is strengthened when physically playing music. This may explain why adults trained to play certain melodies have an enhanced representation of music in the brain compared to adults only trained to listen to the same melodies.

As playing music involves many different parts of the brain, even a short-term program for older adult musical novices can lead to generalised improvements for cognitive ability.

Music as a workout for the fingers

Learning to play an instrument such as the piano involves many complex finger sequencing and coordination tasks. As such, it can be a great test-bed for learning to move fingers independently.

The creativity of music and the enjoyment people take in playing is particularly important for rehabilitation, as it encourages sustained practice leading ultimately to higher benefits.

It’s thanks to this that piano lessons have been used to successfully retrain hand function for patients who have had a stroke. The immediate auditory feedback from each finger movement is thought to help adults reduce errors in movement and work towards moving at a more regular pace.

Music training is an excellent environment to train cognitive and motor abilities, both in the contexts of child development and for rehabilitation. The question for older adults is this: can learning a musical instrument not only put the brakes on cognitive and motor decline, but actually allow development of new skills?

Older adults can improve their motor learning – that is, they can improve their rate of learning new things – and the best environments for brain training are ones that are novel and flexible.

Of course many activities can be novel such as juggling or knitting, but the advantages of learning an instrument can be found in the breadth of skills required to play. At Western Sydney University, we are currently investigating how piano training can be used with healthy older adults to improve their general hand function in unrelated daily tasks.

Music for health and wellbeing

Often, the worry is that playing an instrument will be too difficult for older adults to manage. On the contrary, learning to play an instrument can provide a great sense of achievement and satisfaction.

Older adults relish the opportunity to learn something new. Cogntive benefits aside, music can also be a great social activity for older adults, facilitating social bonding and decreasing feelings of loneliness or isolation.

Music programs are linked to improvements measured in markers of the body’s immune system such as the presence of antibodies and vital signs (heart rate/blood pressure).

It’s suggested that this is a consequence of decreases in stress that can happen when taking part in musical activities. However, further research is needed to determine exactly how this relationship functions.

Music for all

It’s vital to understand how we can aid the current generation of older adults, in terms of both health and personal enjoyment. With the myriad benefits provided by playing a musical instrument, it would seem beneficial to have a wider variety of musical activities on offer to the older generation.

Wouldn’t it be great if the third age wasn’t viewed as a final descent from some mid-life peak, but some new act of life that opens up these opportunities? Perhaps we should give older adults the chance to develop in ways they could never have imagined before.

Activities such as singing in a choir, or playing the piano can provide this opportunity, as well as offering many general benefits to health and wellbeing.

So whether it’s in independent living, retirement or assisted care, let’s make the third act of life a musical one!

  This article was originally published on The Conversation. Read the original article.

 About Jennifer MacRitchie

Jennifer MacRitchie, Research Lecturer in Music Perception and Cognition, Western Sydney University. Dr MacRitchie joined the Music Cognition and Action research program at MARCS Institute in 2014. With a background in both electrical engineering and music, her research focuses on the acquisition and development of motor skills in piano performance. Studies range from looking at movements of novices to experts, from those who have studied music from a young age to those who are rediscovering music in retirement. For more information: http://theconversation.com/profiles/jennifer-macritchie-171595

Photo credit: Music in the street by Jose Luis Navarro

Important note: This article is subject to copyright. Carers’ Corner is an Australian website and the information in this article might be specific to Australia. We do not provide health, legal, financial or other advice and this article should not be used for making decisions. You and others should seek advice from suitably qualified professionals. Any use you make of this article is at your own risk and to the extent permitted by law we disclaim all liability in connection with this article. You should read the Disclaimer + legal terms on carerscorner.com for more details about this and the basis on which this article is provided.