#afraid of commitment

I don't know why this affects me this much, since I literally didn't open it for 6 months, but I am still very upset.

To be fair I didn't really use it that much, because I worry too much about what people would think. I didn't even have much followers. I think I got 0 in the fist 3 months, and then got 2 of them 😂

Somewhere inside I always wanted a big Instagram, and I love putting in the effort, I have helped many friends with their accounts. I just don't have the confidence to share my photos. I am afraid of what people might think.

It was ehhh

:33

pros:

ate

slept

didnt go to school

played with my neighbors dog (dogsitting)

played on computer

cons:

had to bring dog home sooner than said

had a headache

had to go to my grandmothers work

Tomorrow, I'm gonna be someone's wife. I don't like the title. I feel the pressure of being someone's wife. I have to admit, this is the most terrifying chapter of my life.

It is sad that I have decided to use this kind method of escape in the name of betterment. I hate how society wants to be in the certain ways as a wife. I am afraid of inlaws. I am afraid of having people against me. I am a weakling against people because I enjoy being my own.

I want to grow. I want to be better but I can't believe I have to use someone's else to fill the responsibility. I feel hopeless. I feel like I will stuck in the same circle. I am a worthless. I am a shitty person. When will I ever have a chance to be truly freed from these assumptions?