lohen x adeptus reader who uses poison (like shinobu fromm kny) AND THEN MY LIFE IS YOURS
oh YO IMAGINE THE SPARS - BOTH OF YOU TRYING TO POISON EACH OTHER LMFAO
Lohen meets you and immediately thinks Mondstadt has been secretly hiring final bosses from Liyue. You say “hello” once and somehow the air pressure changes.
Lohen THRIVES on trying to get stronger. And what better way to get stronger than to par himself with an adeptus from Liyue?
He tries to ask you for a spar every 3 days. You reject all of them. Reason given: "I do not wish to accidentally kill you." And he IMMEDIATELY follows it up with "but i think it'll be neat."
Rejected.
His first time seeing you in action, Lohen deadass stared into the distance for 5 whole minutes afterwards. he nearly cried. Lohen: "that was beautiful." His subordinates: "Vice Captain, they just killed six mitachurls."
The poison parts fascinates him. "Poison? Paralyzes enemies? Brilliant. Can I borrow some? How deep does the stab need to go? What angle? How much force? Would this work against armored opponents? What if the enemy is taller? What if they're six feet? What if they're seven feet? What if they're Varka?"
he ADORES the ruthlessness of your fighting style. every thrust his poisoned? SIGN HIM UP.
The Fifth Company Has One Collective Goal: Keep Vice Captain Lohen alive.
This becomes significantly harder whenever you're nearby. Not because you'd hurt him. Because Lohen immediately says: "Hey. Fight me." (jean is so tired)
Fifth Company Knight: "…Sir, we have paperwork." Lohen: "Later." Knight: "…Lunch?" Lohen: "Later." Knight: "…Sleep?" Lohen: "Later." Knight: "…Adeptus [Name] walked by." Lohen: "NOW."
Every time he sees you, his eyes light up like it's his birthday. Every time you see him, you walk in the opposite direction.
Attempt #1
Lohen: "Esteemed Adeptus [Name]! Duel?" You: "…No." Walks away. End of interaction.
Attempt #17 He dramatically plants his spear in front of you, saying "Surely today's the day." You simply…walk around the spear.
Attempt #38
He tries psychology. "If you defeat me, I'll stop asking." You pause. Lohen smiles. "…No." You keep walking. He just watches you leave. "…That almost worked." It absolutely did not.
Attempt #62
He leaves a handwritten invitation.
Dear Esteemed Adeptus [Name], Please fight me. Sincerely, Lohen
The reply arrives the next day.
No. —[Name]
Lohen has a notebook on this btw. It is literally titled:
Methods To Convince Esteemed Adeptus [Name] To Fight Me
Inside: Ask politely. Ask less politely. Offer food. Compliment their spear technique. Challenge their honor. Fake dramatic entrance. Real dramatic entrance. Surprise duel. Scheduled duel. Holiday duel. Birthday duel. "Please?" "Pretty please?" "Pretty please with Jueyun Chilis?"
Every single one has: ❌ Failed.
Sucrose wants to conduct research on this dynamic. Hypothesis: "How durable is Vice Captain Lohen?" You: "Please don't encourage him." Lohen: "Please encourage me."
Varka finds this hilarious "Still chasing that Liyue adeptus?" "…Yes." "Progress?" "…They accepted tea once." "…Kid, that's not progress. Why are you trying to stab them?" "I'm trying to get stabbed first."
He keeps asking for demonstrations.
Lohen: "Can you show me that stab again?" You: "No." Lohen: "Please?" You: "No." Lohen:"...What if I stand very still?" You: "I don't think you're understanding me."
Theodore once overheard him asking you. T: "... Lohen, they're saying no because they likes you alive." Lohen misunderstands completely. L: "So...there's a chance?" T: "THAT IS THE OPPOSITE OF WHAT I SAID." Theodore thinks you're both enormous weirdos.
Lohen is ridiculously toxin resistant. You have spent nine centuries inventing poisons specifically designed to kill monsters. Which means… You poison him and it works for approximately 3 seconds. "…Hm." "What?" "You're still conscious." "Yeah." "Fascinating." Lohen has never looked prouder.
Eventually this becomes a scientific partnership. Or at least, that's what you insist it is. "I require a test subject in two days time." "Me." "You haven't heard the poison yet, Vice Captain." "Still me. Let's go. Now." "The antidote isn't finished." "I believe in you, my dear."
Your own notebook starts looking increasingly ridiculous.
Test #41 Subject survived.
Test #56 Subject requested stronger dose.
Test #73 Subject smiled.
Test #74 Subject asked if there was "one that hurts more." There is something fundamentally wrong with this knight."
You once said things like "A slash is unnecessary." or "If the poison functions correctly, there should not be a second strike." or "Missing is inefficient."
Lohen now thinks about these sentences constantly. His greatest dream is "one spar. just one. I promise I'll behave."
You don't even realize you're humbling him sometimes. Venti pointed out that you used Lohen as a projectile once. This was a reward to him somehow. Normal person: "I got completely outclassed 😐" Lohen: "I GOT COMPLETELY OUTCLASSED BY AN ADEPTUS. IT WAS AMAZING. :D"
The other adepti hear from your letters and are now very confused. Granted, the letter you sent Zhongli was about a conversation you had with Lohen that went a little something like this: Lohen: "You're incredible." You: "…Thank you." Lohen: "I'd trust you with my life." You: "That seems irresponsible." Lohen: "No, I mean it." You: "I would prefer if you remained alive." Lohen: "…" You: "…" Lohen: "…Adeptus [Name], you're making this difficult."
Eventually you start keeping tabs on him. One day he disappears and no one can find him. Varka asks you. You look toward a random mountain in the distance and say "he's over there." "how do you know?" "that's where the strongest monsters are." and sure enough, they find him exactly where you said.
Eventually everyone notices he says "Esteemed Adeptus [Name]" with the same excitement a child says "LOOK WHAT I FOUND!" "Esteemed Adeptus [Name]." "Esteemed Adeptus [Name], look." "Esteemed Adeptus [Name], stab this." "Esteemed Adeptus [Name], hypothetical question." "Esteemed Adeptus [Name], can poison expire?"
Everyone assumes Lohen likes fighting you because you're strong, but you notice something else. You never have to wonder what Lohen is thinking.
If you're stronger, he says you're stronger.
If you win, he says you won.
If you embarrass him, he laughs.
There are no hidden expectations.
No worship.
No careful reverence.
No pedestal.
Just:
"That was awesome."
"Thank you."
"...Again?"
"No."
mind you, lohen is like 23 or something. you are thousands of years old. lohen hears this information and his immediate response is "So they've got thousand years more combat experience......... excellent."
One Day... Maybe
Lohen: "So... Fight?"
You quietly look at him. Look at Varka. Look at Jean. Look back at Lohen.
"...Perhaps..."
Lohen's eyes light up.
"...when you have another thousand years of practice."
Lohen immediately starts counting on his fingers.
"I can work with that."
But honestly, he's weirdly respectful around you despite being.... well.... Lohen. He's incredibly polite outside of combat/sparring relateed things. Always "Esteemed Adeptus [Name]." Never interrupts you while you're speaking. Always waits for your answer. Opens doors for you if you happen to be behind him.
The problem is…
He's also incredibly loud.
"GOOD MORNING, ESTEEMED ADEPTUS [NAME]."
"…Good morning."
He likes listening to your stories. like just "…One time, Guizhong…" "…" "…Another time, Streetward Rambler…" "…" "…When Xiao was younger…" Lohen is sitting there like a little kid at story time. He never notices that half the room has gone completely silent because everyone else is also listening.
you two bond over being bad at small talk. his brain kinda stops working around your medical knowledge.
you think he's surprisingly easy to read. while everyone is wondering what vice captain lohen is thinking, you can tell he's hungry because he's been staring at jueyun chilis for the past 4 minutes.
you like that he's quite comfortable. not because he's quiet. because he isn't. but because lohen never tiptoes around you nor does he treat you like osme untouchable ancient adeptus nor does he bow every five seconds.
For someone who spent centuries trapped on a pedestal by other people's expectations…
Being treated like…
well…
just [Name]…
is strangely refreshing.
you'd never admit it aloud but when you visit Mondstadt and hear an excited voice somewhere in the distance yelling,
"Ah! Esteemed Adeptus [Name], lovely day, isn't it? Would you like to-"
you already know exactly who it is and without even realizing it, you start walking toward the sound.
please fix him because jean is SICK of hearing him saying "i think esteemed adeptus [name] could stab through my armor and i'd thank them"









