I was scrolling through your blog as I do every once in a while and all of a sudden I started feeling mad that steve just left bucky without saying anything to go live out his life in the past. why would he do that to bucky. wtf. what happened to the end of the line
Fox! Why would you do this to me
😭😭😭😭
Nah, you're right, you're right..I don't get it either 😫 There would've been options to deal with that concept in a better way imo. In my head he came back earlier (with Peggy, I like Peggy) and stayed in the present and sorta retired as Cap and was just. There. Idk, there's many possibilities.
Also, imagine Steve going back in time and knowing Bucky is out there losing his self and being turned into a brainwashed assassin. Steve would ignore the rules of time travel or whatever and save that Bucky, like hello?!
I can somehow turn the Goodbye scene between the two into something acceptable in my head but the truth is that I don't like the scene, it was written in a weird way and although I totally appreciate the callback and parallels to Cap 1 I never watched the scene again after seeing it at the cinema 😂 I hate it.
I dislike the writing decision though, not Steve. He just did it differently in my head and is still part of Bucky's life as far as I'm concerned. Maybe he really IS chilling on the moon, you know. Imagine Bucky's excitement to visit him there after a mission. Hjhsjkff idk man idk
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Hey this is my-hero-lemillion, I read one of your other fics and I was wondering specifically why you like dkbk over bkdk and also why Katsuki and Izuku prefer it that way in your fics? This isn’t meant as anything negative! I’m just trying to understand better where they’re coming from because it still seems the opposite of what I’d expect 😅
Woof, this is kind of my can of worms question, so I'm just gonna dump under the cut. But to answer part, I tried sooo hard not to really say that the boys prefer dkbk in Feel It In My Body, but I also, like...just kind of couldn't help it, because it's my preference. And I wanted dkbk to be the way they continued in the next scenes, so I kind of had to justify that. But in my head, they're vers. I think it makes the most sense, and I think in the Feel It In My Body universe they would be, probably more so as time went on. As for what my heart wants, it's dkbk only and I'll explain under the cut.
Obvious disclaimer, these reasons are all just about what feels good in my unique brain with all my unique predispositions. The last thing I want is to contribute to the divide between bkdks and dkbks, so this is just me vibing in my little bubble. I've enjoyed bkdk content in my time and will certainly continue to come across great ones, but it's just not my preference atm. With that out of the way, remember, you asked for it 😂👀
So, dkbk is the opposite of what most people expect and, for me, that's a lot of why it works and why it hits harder. I actually was a bkdk first when I was first exploring the ship, because there's a lot more content for it, and so that's what came up. It made sense, it was good content, and I enjoyed it. Then I read some dkbk doujins by the illustrious Cai, and, well, I was a goner. Cai's stories are angsty and complex and tense and that was a beautiful introduction into dkbk.
For me, dkbk lends itself to complexity because bkdk is the more obvious route. Where bkdk is straightforward, dkbk creates tension. Where bkdk is stereotypical, dkbk is subversive. With bkdk, you often have an inherently, like, bossy and demanding and powerful Bakugou and a Deku who is so willing to give Bakugou what he wants. This is not bad and it's not out of character. But--and I don't want to lean into the territory of bashing bkdk--for me, bkdk fics very easily step past those traits into characterization that I don't like. A feminized Deku who, like, bends so easily to Baku and a Baku who's just rather aggressive, tho usually at least somewhat loving, without a lot more depth.
Granted, the more time I spend with dkbks, the more I see equal and opposite content from them, tho it did take a lot more time for me to come across it in such quantities. As someone who really only likes strict canonverse settings and characterizations, I just can't get into feminization and size difference and a bkdkbk that are too simplistic in their relationship, lacking the many colors in their characterization.
Dkbk lends itself to that complexity. You have a Deku who leans into the traits that he's been developing since the pilot. His authority, his power, his strength, his confidence, and his generosity. Really sexy traits that I do believe will only grow as he becomes an adult. Because of this, Deku's traits are not only more attractive to me in dkbk but more compelling. He's much more interesting, to me, as a guy who takes charge than one who--apologies for the turn of phrase--bends over. And I think it's very obviously who he's become in canon, so it's hard to read anything in which he loses his traits of stubbornness and even greed. Those are big Deku qualities and they aren't as present in bkdk.
And, of course, Baku's my favorite character, so a lot of this is about him, and what bottoming looks like on him. When I look at bkdkbk, I see Deku who's happy to receive any kind of love from Baku. Meanwhile, Baku has many more walls up around his relationship to Deku, and even though sex is intimate regardless, it feels like an extra layer of the onion peeled away for him to allow Deku inside him, to do something he might fear as submissive (even outside of bdsm). It feels like a larger gesture of trust to me than Deku bottoming does, because I don't think Deku would really think twice about a difference in intimacy between topping and bottoming. He's used to not having control, and even though he loves having it, I don't think that he would feel out of control with Bakugou, if he were bottoming. I think Bakugou would, at least at first.
I also think that Deku would know how big it would be for Baku to trust him like that, and that it would truly mean the world to him. In an even bigger way than having sex in other ways. That Baku would be trusting Deku to take care of him, something that I imagine it would take ages for Baku to do in any right, much less in a romantic relationship. This would mean years of progress, and that wouldn't be lost on Deku for a moment.
I mean, all of this really comes down to how much of a softy I am, doesn't it? The dkbk dynamic lends itself so well to lovemaking in that regard, with Baku being vulnerable and Deku being giving. I love seeing Baku be able to let go and Deku feel like he's providing, that he's doing right by his lover. This is when these two characters are at their most attractive to me.
There are also so many interesting storytelling opportunities to have with a Baku who struggles to let go and a Deku to coax him through it. On any number of levels. Then getting to the other side with a Baku who allows himself to feel good in this way after being initially hesitant is so rewarding. A Baku who lets Deku in after being initially hesitant. For me, everything on the other side with dkbk is so much more rewarding than with bkdk.
In conclusion, I can't say for sure what the boys would really like anatomically. Some of top/bottom preference comes down to mindset, of course, but a huge part of it is obviously body-centric, and these are not embodied characters. It's all conjecture and preference. I don't really care for the conjecture, but I do obviously feel strongly, in a personal sense, about my preference. I only seek out dkbk at this point, but still occasionally consume bkdk either in djs or in highly recommended fics. There is simply miraculous content on both sides and there's truly shitty, can't possibly speak of it content on both sides. The more time I spend on one side, the more I find of both sides of that spectrum. And, to be fair, a lot of what I've just said probably exists more in my head than it does in the fandom itself, since bkdkbk is such a popular ship that, really there's so much of every kind of content for it out there these contrasts I'm making are nigh on useless. There's too much content to ever be able to consume enough to draw real conclusions. Most of what I've said is honestly how I see the characters in my writing, and, well, since I've retired from writing nsfw, it's nearly moot. That aside, it's just how I narrow down what fics I seek out and most highly rate, review, and rec.
I do appreciate the question tho, and god save ya if you read all the way to the bottom here, haha. I do find it an interesting one, tho it so often stirs up negativity. I'm not trying to encourage you to be a diehard dkbk like I am, and I super appreciate your willingness to explore both. Like I said, there's top tier stuff on both sides, and it's a blessing to consume any of it.
consider: a case where jack has to go undercover at a high school, and cas and sam have to pretend to be his married dads
first of all, jack undercover at a school? a nightmare. he's three years old. he doesn't even know what a class period is. he just gets up and walks out during class. the case is an absolute disaster and the only reason they walk out successful is because jack is the luckiest being on the planet and stumbles his way into the answer.
but the lead-up, during the conference to get jack signed up... well. sam's drastically over dressed, suit and all, while cas elected to not change anything at all. they shove jack into an old hoodie of dean's and it's too long arm-length wise, but they make it work. they're all seated around one of those round tables and the lady they're conferencing looks just a bit like she'd rather be anywhere else than with two men who clear 6 feet easy. the meeting starts, and immediately they run into a speed bump; the lady asks for their address, and cas gets a few numbers of the bunker's address in before sam squeezes his shoulder to get him to stop. and well, the lady's eyes travel there, and linger just a little too long, with her eyes squinted. sam can't have that, especially not in front of their impressionable child.
immediately, he drops his hand under the table, wraps his fingers around cas's, and brings them up to rest on the table. the lady meets Sam's eyes, and he stares back, daring her to say something. She quickly moves on with the interview, her eyes firmly on the paper in front of her. Sam glances over to Cas, just to make sure he's okay, only to come face-to-face with the dusted pink cheeks of an angel. and maybe, he realizes later, it makes his heart skip a beat or two.
You've ruined me. My preference by principle is vers!Sam and vers!Dean but I found out today that I'm incapable of writing top!Dean or bottom!Sam in any pairing because I've read so many of your fics that it seems really unnatural to switch it up
haha this is great. I love this. I’m gonna wear this like pinned to my shirt for the rest of the evening.
First of all: preferences are preferences! Rock ‘em! No one can tell you that your preference is wrong -- if you want to write Dean being a toppy-top-top then do it and more power to you. Principles are iffy with this kind of thing -- it’s not like it’s a moral thing to flipfuck! You do you, and so on.
That said: I still love this. :D I’ve actually been *trying* to switch it up a little more but let’s be honest, I like the dynamic I like, and literal positioning aside-- 90% of the time it feels closer to canon characterization to me to have Sam being a toppy bastard and Dean to be a receiving subby hedonist. Doesn’t really matter whose dick goes where, as long as I get that dynamic going. If you can do toppy bastard ‘bottom’ and receiving subby hedonist ‘top’, then all the better. Way too many fics are focused on whose penis goes where. I wanna know who holds the other one’s heart in his fist. (Hint, with Sam and Dean: this is how they’re vers.)
6. what if your favorite fanfic trope for dean and cas?
oh man so many but probably just the basic best friends to lovers? bonus points if they don’t like each other or if they’re rivals first. bonus bonus points if it’s domestic as hell
7. what made you start shipping destiel? what’s the story?
well way back in like 2011-2014 i was very into doctor who and eventually sherlock and i followed a lot of those superwholock pages on facebook lmao. so i was kinda shipping destiel before i even watched the show, which i started in the fall of 2014. after that i think i officially started shipping them while watching “its the great pumpkin sam winchester” cause that bench scene??? wow still one of my favorite destiel scenes. and then i lucked out that season 10 was the first season i watched live (hello reverse crypt scene) so i was clowning from the beginning fam
8. what is/are your favorite episode/s for destiel?
TOO MANY!!! 5x03 (obvi), 5x04 (give me more endverse!destiel pls), 5x18 (I REBELLED I DID ALL OF IT FOR YOU), 6x03, 6x20 BECAUSE DUH, 7x17, 8x07 (boner scene...you know the one), 8x17 (gross sobbing), 9x06, 9x22, 10x09, 10x22 (grosser sobbing), 11x18 (its not an it, its cas!!), 12x09, 12x10, 12x12 (wow 12 really was such a giving season), 12x19, 12x23 (fucks me up), 13x07, 14x12 (doctor kink ayo), 15x09 and 15x18 (cue the grossest sobbing of all)
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I am torn between 1x12 “Faith” and 14x10 “Nihilism”
13. You can bring back one character. Who is it?
Let’s say season 15 never existed. I would love to see John Winchester return. I still have a lot of questions and I would love to see the three men working together after the skills Sam and Dean collected through the years.
16. What character death hurt you the more?
Again, except season 15. It really hurt me and it still hurts me Crowley’s death.
22. Character you’d gladly kill off?
I never had a character that I hated him so much that I wanted to kill him but I had a lot of deaths that I simply didn’t care about. So I’m gonna say, Cole. I still can’t see why he had to be there. Really unnecessary. 🤷🏼♀️
Ok I read your post. Literally sat down with my cup of morning coffee first thing in the morning and read it start to finish. I was busy traveling which is why I'm just getting back to you now though, by ask because my followers probably aren't expecting a reblogged discussion of top/bottom dynamics on my otherwise sfw blog.
So let me know if I'm getting this right:
Like, Bakugo wanting to give something to Izuku he would never give anyone else (the vulnerability, I mean!!! not, y'know, access to his... god, just forget it). And their relationship has shifted so fundamentally since when they were kids, multiple times, and opening up (figuratively!!) in such a way to Izuku is just another way for him to shift from whatever toxic shit they had going on earlier to the mutual love and understanding and willingness to be vulnerable with each other they have now. I don't even know if that makes sense. The point is, I totally hc them as vers now.
Also Izuku taking charge. It really is such a huge part of his character, becoming stronger and a leader and more confident and it's so easy to set that aside and focus on his cute, bubbly side but my man's got both! Honestly it's why I tend to avoid fics in general, and fandom too (tho I'm weak and couldn't stay away from mha/bkdk tumblr). I'm always afraid that the versions of characters in my head will be fanonized. I hope I didn't do that to Izuku and Kacchan, ykwim? :| (If you ever wanna like, idk, 👉👈 check out one of my fics and tell me if you think I got them right, that would be cool but no worries if not.)
Also I get what you mean about the feminized Izuku, no shade to anyone who likes that (I mean, he did wear a maid costume in MHA Smash and he does look cute with puppy dog eyes and bunny ears) but omega/bunny/thicc/size-difference Izuku isn't really my thing because... Well, I prefer canonverse too and I've rewatched dvk2 like four times and for me it really hammers home that their power dynamic has evened out so any dom/sub-type dynamic doesn't feel like it fits.
[also re: soyboy. If you check my blog on mobile, it has the urban dictionary definition of soyboy as the header. Plus the first syllable of my irl name sounds like "soy" so that's why I picked it haha :) ]
I'm so flattered that you bothered to read all that word vom! I hope that you're traveling for something fun, or at least that the travels go well. And yeah, please, keep your blog sfw if that's what it is, lol. I'm such a mess in that respect.
But yes, I'd say you've distilled my opinion! Thank you, haha. Squeezed some good puns in there as well. I'm glad you've been pulled over to vers, tho 😈 I know I said that I wasn't trying to convert you, but let's face it, I'm always lowkey trying to convert people, hahahaha. I wish I weren't but I just want people to like what I like, lol.
The way you broke my heart when you said you avoid fics 💀 Let me send you recs! I think I've got an idea of your taste and I can PROMISE quality! However, avoiding fandom is a good choice, haha. Like, I'm happy about all the friends I'm making, and I have a very visceral need to have many many bkdkbks to scream about our boys with, but at the same time, there are a lot of ways in which I was happier in past fandoms where I wasn't involved in the fandom beyond reading and writing fanfic. I could engage with only the content I enjoyed much easier. So, you know, some of this, some of that.
I'd totally read your stuff! Message me or otherwise lmk what one you want me to try and I'll word vom at you again!
Book ask - so far I have recognised only 2 of the books you’ve mentioned in your other posts so I’m going for some more generic ones here: 9 (favourite book cover), 26 (series or standalone), 28 (paperback or hardcover)
Hii :)
🙈🙈🙈 Well I think we grew up in different countries, so that's probably one of the reasons, lol.
Thank you!
9. Favourite book cover?
That's so hard, oof. I like lotsa book covers, I'm already overwhelmed from thinking about it 😂😂😂 I like these very much (and I'm being very very shallow here, obviously):
>pretty and angsty , >pretty and angsty 2, >pretty and melodramatic, > cool and nerdy, > tickles my fancy cos that's my fave vibes
There's lots of others I love though.
26. Series or standalones?
Series!
28. Paperback or hardcover?
I love both, I really do. Right now I tend to prefer paperback, though.
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