Jul 24, 2024
ACL & Meniscus surgery was a success🫡✅ Back to the grind we glo🥷🏿✨
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ACL & Meniscus surgery was a success🫡✅ Back to the grind we glo🥷🏿✨
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I ran outside for the first time since surgery. It was chilly and started raining on me, but I loved it. I ran just over a mile and a half, clocking my first mile back on the streets at 9:06
It felt like I would never make it back to this day. It's been entertaining to see the right hip bursitis has complained more than my newly rebuilt knee. The dedicated PT has brought me back and now I find the other parts of me lazily snapping to attention after atrophying for so long. I have to practice my breathing and syncing with my steps. As soon as I was cleared to push I started doubling my distances... it's not like it was, but things are starting to feel familiar... it feels really great to get back to me
2019 | 12 | 15
I’ve decided to start a recovery journal.
Writing is a nice way for me to get my jumbled thoughts out and neatly sorted out in a manner that will better serve me down the line. My mental health has taken such a downward spin since all this madness and if I don’t find something to move me along...I’m afraid of what will happen.
Today’s prompt is:
“How are you feeling about yourself at this point in your recovery?”
This is a loaded question. Because to be honest, depending on the day my answer will change.
On some days I feel this fire in my gut. This burning motivation that pushed me to go farther in a run or kick harder in a training session than I ever thought possible. I want to absolutely slay this recovery. I feel like I am like one of those heroes with her eyes locked on the prize, who despite everyone saying its impossible, defies the odds.
On other days...I feel like a broken china doll. I’m fragile and shattered. I am less than I was at my peak. And the damage I’ve sustained will cause people to look me over on the shelves where I’ll sit and collect dust. Who wants to waste their time with something that is broken?
I don’t know how I feel about myself today. I know that I am still an athlete. That this is a set back, nothing more. And yes this set back will set up an amazing comeback if I let it. But I don’t feel like an athlete. I don’t feel like I’m improving. I don’t feel like I will ever be me again.
This entire situation has caused such a disruption in my life that at times I won’t allow myself to see the finish line. Within the past month alone I lost my mobility, my sport, and my job. Nothing feels in my control. It’s almost as if I’m a sim and some sadistic fuck is just slamming on buttons while I run into walls and set my bathroom on fire.
I want to find the meaning in this disruption. I want to allow myself to feel what I am without feeling it so much that I crumble. But my leg and my heart hurt. Everything is wrong. Nothing is how it was supposed to be.
This experience reminds me of Book 4 of the Legend of Korra. Like...I’m so used to being strong and competent. I’m used to competing and sweating, bleeding, crying all for a sport that I have called my passion for almost 20 years. But suddenly...I am LITERALLY learning to walk again.
For those of you who actually made it to the end of this mess, thank you for spending this moment with me.
Truly, this helps.
I’m having surgery tomorrow morning. Can someone send this lesbian some good vibes 😅
Five months out of ACL surgery and I'm starting to feel kinda normal again. Doctor tells me it'll be about a year until I am back 100% but I'm hoping to change that everyday.
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How was your Thursday? I'm officially 1/100th zombie now! #aclsurgery
5 surgeries later and here i stand, albeit with a torn ACL in my left knee still. doctor after doctor continued to tell me that "i couldn't this or i couldn't that" because after so many injuries + repairs over 15 years, it just wasn't possible. but my mind + heart wouldn't settle for that. . so here i stand. believing with my whole heart that we c a n go against the odds. that we can get back to where we want to be - be that in health and fitness, in our profession, in our education, in the way in which we spend our time, in becoming the people that want to be...we just have to work at it knowing that the climb will be steep, but the journey will be worthwhile. so here i stand. by and only through the grace of God, i stand. . . #tbt #grateful #acl #aclinjury #aclsurgery #knee #stand #walk #run #jump #fitnessjourney #health #wellness #fitness #strength #faith #hope #love #faithandfitness #believe #commit #discipline #adventure #God #plan #livealive #liveauthentic #livingtheintegratedlife (at Minnesota)
I'm training back to running
I'm excited and enjoying it, but it is really hard. I'm 8 months post ACL/meniscus surgery and I've gotten soft in my recovery. My NYC commute life became my primary workout outside of PT and my muscles and mindset have grown lazy, even as my knee has healed.
In theory the running felt great... It feels great now that I've done it. But no lie, it was so fuckin hard!
I'm running intervals to work up to 2 miles. Tonight, I demanded my PT graduate me and let me run more than my .2 or .3 mile rounds. He let me play with my pace and distance and I ran three half mile rounds.
It wasn't my leg that was giving up, but my mind.
Atrophy is reall y'all.
The injury might have been instant, but it was my habits that brought me here. It'll be habits that bring me back.