10/9/15
1 year ago today, my priorities were shifted drastically. Someone posted to a social media site a few months later, “she acts like it’s the worst thing that could happen to her.” But let me tell you, tearing my ACL was not in the plan. And in my short life, it has been one of the worst things to happen to me. You see, since the age of 3, I flipped and flew. My life revolved around the sport of cheerleading. And to be honest, I believed my only shot at a scholarship to college, was through this sport. After I heard the “Pop” of my ligament tearing going up in to a simple stunt, I knew… Something was really wrong. I sat out for a few minutes, like usual if I twisted my ankle or something. But the pain was unreal. I couldn’t keep the tears inside. But I stood up, and went to go back into practice. I was okay, I just needed to keep going. I tried to go back up in my stunt. I tried so hard. And I could not do it. I went home and iced, because it would be okay in the morning. Some cartilage damage, maybe a sprained ligament… I’ll be back in two weeks is what they said. I would be back just in time to prep for the first competition, where I would showcase my full for the first time ever. I put off my doctor appointment for a week… It will get better, I just need a few days. He sent me in to get an Mri, to diagnose if there was a problem. A complete tear in the anterior cruciate ligament. The end to any sports career in many cases. I knew at that point, I was never going to showcase my full. I was never going to step back onto the mat. My scholarship… Gone. I became very depressed. I would lay in bed in a ball and just cry at night. Because to everyone else, I was so positive and I was giving God glory through this. I couldn’t let anyone see that I was completely devastated. I tried so hard to be positive. Because life could be so much worse. But, I couldn’t understand why what I loved so much was taken from me. I went to the extra practices and drove the miles to be what I wanted to be. And it was gone. My mom opted to take me to the best surgeon we knew of, Dr. Shelbourne out of Indianapolis, Indiana. He is so great! On November 17, I had bilateral ACL reconstruction. Basically the old ACL was taken out of my knee and tendon and bone from my opposite knee was used to reconstruct a new ligament. The walking I took for granted was now a skill I had to go over again. Thinking carefully about each step, and how to take it. And scars that I felt and still feel are a million inches long that I must explain when I get the courage to wear shorts. But today, I ask myself, why was my priority in a sport that would end. I gave God the glory for my talents, but I couldn’t wrap my head around the fact that He took this away. But you see, cheerleading ends, God’s love NEVER ends. God had a bigger plan for me. I ended up receiving academic scholarships to pay for all (and more) of my schooling. And I will also graduate a year early. You see, God has a way of showing us who is in control. God is alive and He is shaping me into the woman I am supposed to be. He is good. He is in control. He will never leave me nor forsake me.
