#achingpoetry

Rip you out of my heart,

leave no residue.

I love(d) you.

Even when knowning I meant nothing to you.

I love(d) you.

Even after being treated like useless dirt

But I can’t and won’t do this to myself anymore.

Because I’ve finally learned and still am, how to love myself.

If I keep putting you first what good is my worth?

I use to think putting another person first meant you had more worth.

But I see now, that kinda of love would never work. It was just part of the confusion and endless battles my heart and mind had constantly rehearsed.

Darling, I have so much worth

I’m proud of who I am today.

I had to shed viciously my skin to get to where I am today.

I had to mold and break my heart again and again to finally be able to put it on a beautiful picture frame.

I am the forest you thought would never grow from this useless dirt.

I’m the fire you will never tame.

I am the rain that made your car swerve to the other lane.

I am the wind that will never again call out your name.

Time to sober up again.

You fucked it up..again.

Maybe she wasn’t perfect, hell who is?

But she was worth it.

she was enough.

She IS enough.

You pushed her away cuz you decided to listen to the thoughts and others words then your other side of the brain.

You’ll never change, if you don’t learn how to toughen up.

Battle yourself and stop giving up.

STOP FUCKING GIVING UP.

You are enough.

Brenda you are ENOUGH.

You have to fucking change.

you let another one get away.

Be brave. Be fucking BRAVE.

She might never come back so don’t even hope for that.

Focus on you cuz the progress you thought you made, shows you still have some growing to do.

Mend your wounds and get through.

is she trying to be perfect?

She already is bro!

I couldn't even move when you told me to get in.

I didn't know what to do.

"Thrust into me" you said.

I froze up and I honestly forgot what that word even meant because you were so beautiful I just didn't know how to touch you and at the same time, it was like when you see something so stunning you don't even want to touch it because you don't want to ruin it?

because you are TERRIFIED that if your filthy hands touch it,

it's beauty will vanish or shatter?

and it'll never look the same again..

like a painting still wet...

Yea that's exactly how I felt.

Her breath embraced my lungs as I inhaled it.

I passed my fingers through her golden red hair

It reminded me of you and for a second I thought you were there.

For a split second I thought she was you

For a split second she looked just like you.

She had nice eyes

But they weren’t wild, brave, fragile,and burning inside.

They weren’t your eyes.

I saw how the black massacre made her eyes shine

For a second I was in a trance and I was back to when you were mine.

Her smile wasn’t quite like yours

But it still locked my eyes.

She isn’t you