#aceadvice

Hi,

I don’t think you’re too young to know you’re ace at all. We all know our sexualities at different ages some find out earlier or later than others.

Come from an asexual I figure it out when I was 12 and to some people that may sound extremely young but my thoughts from then have never changed.

But even so if you identify as asexual now and decide one day that the label doesn’t fit you anymore then that’s also totally fine! It’s your identity and nobody else’s.

You’re as ace as you feel.

personal pastel ace moodboard

After some discussion, we’ve decided it’s time to add some new people to the mod team on this blog. We could really use some help clearing the message backlog and ensuring that new messages get answered in a timely fashion. As a mod for this blog, you’d be responsible with answering asks as frequently and thoroughly as possible.

Interested? Here’s how this is going to work:

In order to make the application process fair, and to make sure the people we pick are going to be a good fit for this blog, we have a form for you to fill out. You can find it at this link. Please know that your responses will be completely confidential — the only people who will see them will be the current mods.

I don't know of a specific word for that, no. It's entirely possible that there is one that I'm not aware of, and I hope if anyone who sees this is aware of one, they'll chime in.

The only suggestion I have that comes close to what you're describing is to use grey-asexual and greyromantic, since those terms describe any sort of pattern of sexual or romantic attraction that falls somewhere between allo- and asexual/romantic.

I'm sorry I can't be more helpful, Anon, but I would suggest keeping an eye on the notes of this post in case someone else has a more specific term that might fit what you're feeling.

Okay so, I've run a pretty successful advice blog for nearly two years now and I think I've acquired some good knowledge on how to well, be successful in advice blogging. Here are some of my best tips, all of which will help you get more followers.

1. Post original content; minimize reblogs.

This is actually the number one way to be successful on Tumblr, no matter what kind of blog you run. Think about how many reposts and repetitive stuff you see on your dash all the time. Would you want to follow someone if they just kept reblogging the same content you already saw on other blogs? No! That's why you follow the other blogs, and not them. 

It's definitely okay to reblog some stuff if you think your followers would find it interesting or useful, and you should. We should all share each others' work. But the majority of your content should be original. My cuddling foxes post netted me dozens of followers and still gets reblogs, so if you're artsy and good with graphics, you could do well with your skills. I suspect that this is also the best way to become a "Recommended" blog, but I could be wrong.

2. Post regularly and consistently.

Staying active is also important for all kinds of Tumblr blogs. Having a schedule is more important that posting frequently. Even if you post just a couple times a week, at least your followers will know to expect a couple new posts every week from you. This is better than sporadically posting bursts of posts. The queue is your best friend for keeping things fresh. If you have to go on hiatus for exams or a vacation, either stock up your queue or post a brief explanation so people know that you haven't just disappeared.

3. Fill a niche or have a unique angle.

I started DG partially because there weren't any dedicated blogs for ace spectrum people. There were plenty of asexuality blogs, but none specifically for both demisexuals and gray-asexuals. I decided to fill the void which I saw, and I guess other people were waiting for the niche to be filled as well, because I got followers pretty quickly.

But if you want to start a general asexuality blog, that's okay too. If your blog topic isn't as unique, you can still craft a unique angle. I think The Asexuality Armadillo is a prime example of this. It's a general asexuality blog, but the adorable original armadillo drawings and the way everything is answered by the Mamadillo makes it very unique and worth following.

4. Have a nice-looking website.

It's okay to use a premade theme, but ideally, it's one that isn't common, or your blog will be confused with other blogs that use the same theme. Also make sure the theme suits your content: if you post a lot of asks, make sure asks looks great in the theme. If you know HTML/CSS, make some tweaks to make the theme look more unique. If you don't know how to code, find someone who does (or learn!) If you aren't sure of your web design skills, then ask friends for their opinions, or do some reading on principles of web design. Stuff like fonts and colors are important.

Also, go into your settings and edit the little pop-up thing that comes when people hover over your name in the dash. This also affect how your blog will look when people click on it on the dash and it opens on the side of the screen. Be sure to pick out a nice, original icon. All the defaults aren't bad, but they aren't great either. They won't make your blog stand out.

5. Maintain a professional demeanor.

This is pretty easy. Use proper spelling and grammar (it gives off more of a tone of authority) and exercise courtesy towards people, even when they annoy you. Don't feed trolls or pick fights. There's no way to win with them. If someone is skeptical but interested in learning, then feel free to provide them with information, but avoid getting dragged into an argument.

6. Tag all posts diligently.

Be sure to tag your posts and reblogs with all the relevant tags, so that people can find them more easily. This will also net you more traffic.

7. Participate in discussions and the Carnival of Aces.

Every so often there will be a discussion or some kind of debate that pops up in the Tumblr ace community. Don't be afraid to put your two cents in, especially if you have experience or some points which no one has mentioned yet. For example, the most recent topic was cupioromantic and cupiosexual identities. This is your community too, and you have a voice. It's okay to contribute if you want to.

Another great way to get more exposure is to participate in the Carnival of Aces. Anyone can participate, even if you're not an advice blog. There's a different topic every month, and you just have to make a post and then email the person, and they'll include you in the round up. Even if you feel like you don't have anything to contribute, the ace community is young enough that we need more and more people to share their experiences, so even just talking about your story is a valuable contribution.

8. Create original resources.

If you have the time, you can contribute to the community by creating original resources. Good examples of this are The Asexuality Podcast as well as my own Demisexuality.org. I have literally received 20% of my current followers only in the past month, and I strongly suspect it was due to the attention that the original Demisexuality.org promo post got. I wasn't expecting it at all, but it's certainly welcome. This goes back to my point about original content: people like to see new, interesting, valuable stuff.

9. Use Google Analytics to help you promote outside of Tumblr.

Google Analytics is a great way to see what countries your visitors are coming from, which websites referred them, which pages are most popular, etc. I would strongly encourage you to use it. It can be confusing at first, but if you play around with it, you'll quickly realize which sections are the most useful. You can then put more effort into content and referral websites which are getting you the most traffic.

Definitely experiment with websites other than Tumblr. You can try Twitter, Facebook, Reddit, and other sites I probably don't even know about. I've had success submitting content to the ace subs on Reddit. It might not get you Tumblr followers, but it'll help you connect the ace community further, and that's a great thing. You can also keep a link to your blog in your AVEN signature; that's helped me.

10. Use the Ace Advice Network to connect with other advice bloggers.

this may be a silly question but i was wondering if it was common for demisexuals to feel sexually attracted to people that look like someone they have a bond with? Like if I am attracted to person A bc of a developed bond and person B resembles them or has very similar features sometimes i will feel sexually attracted to them but it's not quite the same like.. i will still feel repulsed at the idea of sexual acts w/ them but find them attractive?? idk i'm just wondering if it's common

I don't know how common it is, but it makes sense. Can anyone else relate?

fadedlikethelilac:

I'm probably more grey than demi, but I certainly think this is normal and makes sense, even if you are demi.

pelhahnu:

Oh gosh, i relate to this, but i always thought it was due for me being in a ldr.

ridingrootless:

I haven't experienced it with sexual attraction, but I have noticed it with my aesthetic preferences? Especially in what quickly grabs my eye. But it also does make a lot of sense.

tinyyybumbleee:

Same here! Familiar smells (like the same cologne) can also trigger a slight sense of attraction outta me :3

sporkcastle:

I have strong aesthetic preferences, but I don't think it's just because of my demi nature. Allos have aesthetic preferences too.

anonymous:

In response to the anon asking about wing attracted to people who look like other people, this has happened to me. It was incredibly puzzling, but honesty the anon's ask made it click into place for me. So yeah. I'd say it's a thing.

pajama-lady:

its the same with me im attracted to people that look like ones that are close to me :) i'd say its perfectly normal

belladonna-saboteur:

Aesthetically, yes. Sexually, not at all.

thelonelymagpie:

I tend to take notice of people who remind me of fictional characters I'm fond of, hehe. Not sexual for me but it makes sense.

eternallydeancas: