#acciomanorian

“You really do want me… and you hate it.”

HAPPY FREAKING BIRTHDAY!!! I hope today is amazing in every way possible! Love youuuu💗💗💗😘😘🎂🎂🎂🎉🎉🎉🎁🎁

Edit by @ironicallyanemic

Masterlist

Written with my lovely revel group, It's You I Love @ironicallyanemic@booksandlewks and @the-chick-of-the-air for @jurdannet and @jurdannetrevels. I couldn't have done it without you lovely ladies 💗💗

Chapter 4

“I’m fine.” I tell Locke as I leave him standing in the woods, watching me walk away, covered in someone else’s blanket, naked save for the mortal underwear.

“I did it myself.” I tell Madoc as he yells and screams, demanding to know who did this to me. Who hurt me, his daughter, but not his daughter.

“I wanted to have fun.” I tell Oriana when she asks why, why would I do this to myself? The disobedient one, the reckless one, not like Taryn who is so docile, who stayed home instead of going to class.

“I’m fine.” I tell myself as I demand more lessons. Sword point that only a Red Cap could teach, bloodthirsty and cruel. As I walk upstairs past Taryn’s room, fighting the urge to run to her, to hug her, to tell her everything as she says ‘I love you’. As I enter my own room, all dirty and broken compared to the pristine floor and made bed.

The bed where a stranger sits, Prince Dain’s owl-faced Hob, who tells me to find a secret, to find treason, in the home of his brother.

I’m not fine. Not when I can still taste the cloying sweetness of the faerie fruit as Valerian forced it past my lips. I can still feel my lungs burn as the apple was shoved into my face, shoved into my nose, closing off my airways. Choking me. The newfound embarrassment from having stripped in front of everyone, of the air chilling my body and the grass tickling my feet. I’m not fine, I think. Not when I remember crawling towards Nicasia, being told to kiss Cardan’s foot. Remember wanting, trying to please them, the people I hate most in the world, not realizing that pleasing them only hurts me.

I remember Locke, pulling me up, up, and away. Away from Cardan’s feet, Nicasia’s hands still wet from the faerie fruit, and then the pain, a stabbing in my finger, the iron in my blood bringing me back to myself, to sanity after I bring that bleeding finger to my mouth. Cardan had saved me, after he tortured me.

Before I fall asleep that night, I grab my quill, the one I keep only for this occasion, for spilling my secrets into the unknown where only one person can see them, if they’re even out there.

~~~~CARDAN~~~~

I tell everyone I’m fine. I tell them this is my fault, something fun. I lied.

I am not fine, I am not fine, I AM NOT FINE.

I am SICK of being treated like this, like a plaything for the faeries, someone they can

mistreat and toss around like nothing.

I AM NOT NOTHING.

But I will not cry, I will not wallow. I have a job to do, and one that I intend to do right. I will find those secrets, I will find that treason. And I will not stop until everybody in Elfhame see’s that I am somebody, somebody to remember.

Somebody to fear.

I watched as the words appeared on my arm, copying them down lightning fast, not wanting them to disappear before I was finished. This person, my soulmate, being torn down by the people surrounding her.

No. This isn’t what I wanted, not more evidence leading to the person I despised more than anyone, who I loved more than I could bear. The entries though, they kept coming and they kept sounding more and more like her, her snark, her stories.

But I couldn’t be sure, I needed more clues. I sighed as I reached the end of the entry, moving to place my notebook back where it belonged. A twinge in my back held me for a moment, the punishments from my brother getting worse and worse after each “disobedience”.

Merry Christmas Eve everyone, and especially to @hazelsheartsworn my lovely Knife Wife. I was so honored to receive you as my wife for @jurdannet @jurdannetrevels Secret Snusband 2021.

For the first part of my gift for you, I have created a moodboard to prepare you for the second half (which isn’t quite ready yet but is coming along smoothly)!

With greatest love and admiration,

thank you for the ask @acciomanorian ! 🥺❤️

any weather below 75 degrees F 😌

when people talk to themselves while they work (i just think it's cute).

pumpkin spice 🎃🍂

lo-fi music for writing/studying ambience like this one

rainy days 🌧

stationary and people who appreciate stationary

tights in every shade of autumn (burgundy, mustard, pine, etc.)

painting my nails

crows/owls 🦉