#absolute being

Tarnak to Jinwoo: Ha! What are you gonna do? Stab me? Five minutes later Tarnak, calling 911: HELP, IVE BEEN STABBED.

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Brightest: Forgive me Father, for I have sinny-sin-sinned.

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Absolute Being: I assume you realize that this kind of idiocy will not be tolerated in this house. Brightest: Is there any kind of idiocy you would be more comfortable with?

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Tarnak: finds half a watermelon at Whole Foods Tarnak, holding it up for everyone to see: LIES!

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Brightest: You know what your problem is? Antares: I only have one?

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Absolute Being: You know, people treat me like a god. Yogummunt: How? Absolute Being: They ignore my existence unless they need something.

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Antares: I have yet to encounter a problem where a sword didn't factor into the solution at least in some way.

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Yogummunt: Queresha… Queresha: I can tell by the tone of your voice that you are disappointed. Alas, I must further disappoint you by affirming how little I give a fuck.

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Legia: Rules were made to be broken. Brightest: They were made to be followed. Nothing is made to be broken. Tarnak: Uh, piñatas. Ashborn: Glow sticks. Sillad: Karate boards. Yogummunt: Spaghetti when you have a small pot. Legia: Rules. Brightest:

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Legia: Where the hell is Yogummunt? Tarnak: Well, it is raining outside… Maybe they melted? Raikan: Shall I look outside for a pointy hat?

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Ashborn: Queresha, you need to react when people cry. Queresha: I did. I rolled my eyes.

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Tarnak, on the phone: I better go…kay, call me later… byeeee! Ammut: Friend of Yours? Tarnak: Nope, wrong number. Ammut: ???

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Tarnak: Are you alright? Ashborn: Short answer or long answer? Tarnak: Short? Ashborn: No. Tarnak: Long? Ashborn: Nooooooo.

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Antares: What is wrong with you? Ashborn: Loaded question. Elaborate.

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Queresha: Do you have a superpower? Ashborn: Hindsight. Queresha: …that’s not going to help us. Ashborn: Yes, I see that now.

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Tarnak: I think it’s time I get my life in order. Sillad, narrating: But they did not get their life in order. In fact, they got drunk last night and fought a raccoon.

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Tarnak: Can we go to a haunted house? Ashborn: What’s wrong with the one we live in? Tarnak: Wh-what? Ashborn: Goodnight, Tarnak.

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Antares: You know, there’s only one person in this world who can tell you what you are. Raikan: Me. Antares: No. Antares: Me.

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Queresha: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched? Yogummunt: IT. Legia: Annabelle. Raikan: Paranormal Activity. Ashborn: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.

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Yogummunt: I am strong! I beat Raikan at arm wrestling! Ashborn: Anyone can beat Raikan at arm wrestling. Raikan: Hey-

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Brightest: Here you go, Sillad, a nice hot cup of coffee! Sillad: It's cold. Brightest: A nice cup of coffee. Sillad: It's horrible! Brightest: Cup of coffee. Sillad: I'm not sure if this even IS coffee. Brightest: C U P.

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Antares: If the Absolute Being is ever been mad at anything I’ve ever said, he hasn’t done shit about it. Antares: So he either doesn’t care or he’s a coward.

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Yogummunt: Lol. Heads up if you try to make a magic-square candle with food coloring from deseased golems, the food coloring will just sink to the bottom of the glass, and when the inextinguishable flame eventually reaches the bottom all the food coloring will catch fire and become one giant tall flame that you cannot possibly blow out and the glass will start to crack and then you’ll throw your seven-colored-elixir tea on it in a panic and then the extremely hot food coloring will boil and sizzle horribly and then the glass will shatter. Please take my word on this. Ammut: What did you do Yogummunt? Yogummunt: a Mistake.

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Raikan: I’m a reverse necromancer. Ashborn: Isn’t that just killing people? Raikan: Ah, technically.

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Ashborn, after dealing with Baran and Raikan and taking a vacay for the emotional baggage that day: Hey. Queresha: pissed off You… complete …ASS, Ashborn! You show up here after WEEKS, and you say “hey”?!

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Yogummunt: Today at 7 am, Antares poured a Monster energy drink in their coffee, said "I'm going to die" and drank the whole thing. Queresha: I watched Antares brew their coffee with Monster instead of water. Three cups in two hours. I think they ascended into the astral realm. Raikan: The survivability of the dragon race never fails to amaze me.

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Rulers: Now, Ashborn, all of us are doing this because we care about life, okay? Absolute Being, ready to create a new monarch: Except for me. I just wanted to see the look on your face.

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Queresha: What did you order this morning? Ashborn: What do you mean? Queresha: I heard you answer the door, and I sensed food.

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Ashborn knowing he can't die: I think we should have glow stick juice injected in our bones when we're born, so if we break our bones, we get a fun little surprise. Raikan: What's the surprise? Antares: Blood poisoning.