#abo!verse

A blight upon their family, his father had said. Test after test was performed. Hanzo was poked and prodded, his blood tested again and again and again, multiple doctors where contacted and insulted in the same manner of accused incompetence- and still the results remained the same. Hanzo Shimada was the first, and only, Omega first-born in the history of the Shimada family.

Hanzo had vivid memories of his mother attempting to reason with their father, begging him to let a 15 year old Hanzo have at least his first Heat- that the chance of complications later in life were tenfold if he used suppressants before that- and Hanzo would never forget the despair on her face as he staunchly refused. He would never forget the way his father looked at him with contempt and disgust, or the pity in the doctor's eyes as Hanzo quietly took his first dose.

He will be an Alpha in mind and body. The distraction of a Heat would only weaken him.

An archaic viewpoint by current standards, but so were most of the traditions in their family. They were the Shimada clan, tradition was how they maintained their strength- according to his father- and Hanzo had always believed him. He was their weakest link.

You will have to work harder than any Shimada before you. You have a natural disadvantage, one that you will have to strive to overcome in every aspect of your life. No one must ever know you are an Omega. You must always hold your head high and never miss your medication, it is what will help you maintain your strength-

-and maintain the Shimada image. Only Alphas, no Omegas- no traditional sign of weakness.

So he trained. What little social life Hanzo could’ve had was spent studying and honing his skills to the point of perfection, and at every turn he sought any sign of his father's approval. He was fluent in multiple languages, adept in multiple subjects including military tactics and politics, and he was an unbeatable archer. Never once did he see his father so much as smile.

Genji was the only person Hanzo could call a friend, and any acquaintances he'd made through his father's facilitated forms of socialization were nothing more than that. None of them would ever know what Hanzo was. None of them knew the weight he bore on his shoulders, or what it meant to be the family disgrace. None of them knew he was just that.

Take the test Hanzo. How long will you wait to claim your place as head of the clan?

How do I know I am ready?

When will you be ready, if not today? You have overcome your nature, is now not the time?

And so the ceremony began with little more than a few phone calls and a gathering of 5 old men in a private room. Hanzo knelt before them and a shallow tea cup was passed between each one. A sip was taken by each before it was passed to Hanzo, who bowed his head and accepted their declaration.

A battle with a warrior of their choice. And to be expected- a battle to the death. A sip and the glass was placed on the ground before him, and they all rose to move to the designated room where their chosen warrior waited for Hanzo's arrival. Hanzo steeled himself. This was his moment, the culmination of his entire life and all of the grooming his father had so generously dedicated to Hanzo's life (despite what Genji had to say about it) and it was his chance to prove to his father that he was worthy of their family name. He would be the Alpha his father wanted to lead their clan, biology be damned.

If only that was how it happened.

                           -------------------------------

Genji watched from the rafters as the battle unfolded. Perched carefully in the shadow of one of the massive posts that supported the roof of the arena, he maintained the perfect spot to watch the ebb and flow of battle and still remain undetected. He barely made it inside before the doors were sealed shut, slipping easily from shadow to shadow until he found his current hiding spot. While it was a risk to intrude on such a private affair, Genji couldn't miss one of the most important moments of Hanzo's life.

He couldn't shake the feeling that something terrible was about to unfold.

He believed in his brother, whether or not his brother truly believed in himself, and he knew his brother had the drive and dedication to take on any challenge he set his mind to. It was something Genji had admired in him since they were children, but something about this tradition- about his father's treatment of Hanzo being an Omega- every part of it felt wrong. They were all aware of the dangers Hanzo's long-term use of suppressants presented, and not a soul outside of the immediate family and their doctor knew about Hanzo's 'condition' – as his father called it. It was their family's most guarded secret, and the longer it was kept, the more Genji worried his brother would seriously harm himself in his desire for acceptance.

No matter the disdain or pain their father put him through, Hanzo followed his order and instructions diligently and without fault. He was so desperate to prove himself and gain their father's approval that he was blind to the fact that he would never receive it- no matter how hard he tried. Genji could see the manipulation, the grooming clear as day, but no matter how many times he tried to convince Hanzo to let it go- to live his own life and learn how to accept himself- his brother's stubborn pride only steeled his foolish determination further.

I promise to prove you both wrong. He'd say with that hardened expression, the one Genji was sure could overcome any obstacle, and he prayed to the gods and their ancestors to give Hanzo the strength to do just that. 

You don’t have to! Genji would protest, but even that would only earn him a small smile, one that said Hanzo believed such an idea was part of being the naive younger brother.

Genji wanted his brother to be right. He wanted those moments of kindness that Hanzo displayed- those times where he went so far as to shield Genji from their father's ire, or covered for a member of their clan who had made a mistake only to take the brunt of the blame, he wanted those to mean something. He wanted Hanzo to know they meant something, despite whatever their father had to say. He wanted so desperately to see the shock on their father's face when Hanzo succeeded- to dare his father to turn his nose up at the fervent dedication of his oldest son. He wanted their father to see Hanzo as person of value and worth- a source of strength in the ancient line of their family, but only for Hanzo's sake. Genji already knew Hanzo was all of these things, and the harder he fought, the harder it became for Genji to resist the urge to shout out to Hanzo in encouragement.

The battle happened in flashes, one moment the two warriors met, blade and bow clashed in an epic clang, and sparks flew for a moment before the two men disappeared. Arrows flew, narrowly missing their target before they were retrieved and the two met once again. Back and forth they danced, skilled fighters engaged in a waves requiring the utmost concentration. The slightest mistake and it could mean the end, and for a moment it seemed Hanzo had the upper hand. An arrow pierced flesh and tore through the dark fabric of the warriors upper thigh. He faltered in his step, but instead of a second arrow to claim the warrior's life, Hanzo appeared before him and brought his bow down upon the warrior with a fierce cry. A final clang rang through the arena, and the warrior was on his knees, struggling to block the sheer force of Hanzo's blow.

The five heads of the clan watched in silence, not a one of them moving to so much as shiver during the battle.

Genji knew Hanzo could have killed the man with a second arrow a move before, and he knew it was no accident that he hadn't. Hanzo saw no reason to take a life without necessity, even in a traditional battle to the death. This warrior's life would be a waste if he were to lose it now.

But just as the battle seemed to be over, it wasn't. Hanzo blinked as the warrior said something Genji couldn't hear, and the next second Hanzo's bow was knocked to the side. The sound of a blade piercing flesh broke the unnerving silence, and a grunt from Hanzo followed as he stared into the burning eyes of the warrior. He gasped as the sword was pulled from his hip in one smooth movement, forcing Hanzo to his knees as pain made his head spin. He had.... lost.

The warrior stood and faced their father, his back to Hanzo with his blade extended to his side.

Genji watched in horror, his breath caught in his throat, as his father stared at the two for what felt like an eternity. Hanzo didn't look up. He steadied his gaze on a point in the floor a few feet in front of him.

He had lost.

Warm blood pooled over the place where his fingers futilely pressed over the font portion of the wound, the blade had pierced him all the way through, and he didn't look at his father. He knew what would come next. His father was not a merciful leader, and there were no second chances with a test like this. He had lost, and he had never felt the ferocity and disappointment in his father's gaze more vividly than in this moment. He was a disgrace. An unworthy Omega who was better off dead in his father's eyes. Hanzo didn't need to look at his father to see it. He'd seen it so many times before, and today he'd proved his father right. His shoulders sank, and it was then Genji knew Hanzo had given up.

The strongest man Genji had ever met and come to admire, had give up.

Their father nodded and turned his face away, just as a cloud of smoke erupted around Hanzo. It wasn't until Genji lept from the rafters and tucked Hanzo's arm over his shoulder that he realized just how hard fought the battle had been. Hanzo's Kyudo-gi was sliced through with superficial cuts that marked various parts of his skin. A few deeper ones left blood dripping down his arms and chest, and one across his cheek would need stitches. Hanzo was breathless and his gaze drifted in and out of focus, so as Genji stood up, and blocked a swipe of a blade that attempted to find it's mark where Hanzo had knelt a moment before with his own, he held most of his brother's weight with ease.

“Why...” Hanzo asked as Genji blocked another swipe and stumbled back, and with a quick leap they were in the rafters and quickly making their escape from one to the next. He didn't answer, and instead felt a wave of pride for thinking ahead and wearing a completely black outfit that only exposed his eyes, protecting his identity from anyone who would accuse him of interfering. He didn't have much time to act, so after making sure they weren't being followed or pursued by anyone- especially the warrior- Genji fled to the only place he knew he could hide Hanzo safely.

“Please be home, please be home, please be home-” Genji begged Jesse once he reached Jesse's front door and pounded violently on it with the hand not curled into Hanzo's side to support him. As they'd traveled Hanzo grew heavier and heavier, and Genji had to struggle not to lose himself in his emotions. He had to be strong for Hanzo, he had to save his brother.

“JESSE! JESSE PLEASE OPEN UP!!!”

Buckygroped blindly behind him for the edge of the bed, dropped onto itand put his hands over his face, mind racing. “Tony, god, I’m so,so sorry.”

“Hey,sweetheart, no,” Tony said, and he came closer, close enough totouch, close enough that Bucky could feel the faint heat radiatingfrom his skin. “Obviously I triggered something, that’s not yourfault. Can you tell me what it was? Do you know?”

Buckyshook his head, shrinking down into himself.

“Allright, that’s okay. Can I-- Can I touch you?”

Buckyshook his head frantically, half-panicked at the very thought. IfTony touched him... If Tony touched him, Bucky would lose allresolve. He would just curl into the warmth of Tony’s embrace andtuck his head down against Tony’s chest to breathe in the spicy,metallic scent of him, and never let go.

“Okay,”Tony said gently. “Okay, I won’t, I’ll just--” He shuffledback a little, and Bucky missed that nearness immediately.

Youdon’t deserve that,Bucky reminded himself, and choked on a sob.

“It’sgoing to be all right,” Tony promised. “Honey? Is there... Isthere anything I can do for you? Anything at all?”

Opportunity.Buckythought fast, calculating times and distances. “It’s, uh. Gonnasound stupid,” he said.

“Anythingat all,” Tony repeated, earnest. “I just want to help you,sweetheart.”

“Iwant... I want one of those stupid sugar-and-cream lattes,” Buckysaid. “With, like, allthewhipped cream.” It was late; the line at the Starbucks wouldn’tbe very long, but it would be enough time for Bucky to gather histhings and leave.

Tonymight be sad for a while, but then he’d get over it. He’d findsomeone else, someone who could make him really happy.

“Areyou sure? I don’t want to leave you alone if you’re freakingout.”

Buckyswallowed. “I could use a couple of minutes,” he said softly.“To... to pull myself together.”

Tonyhesitated, then, “Okay. Okay, honey. You just... You rest. And I’llbe back as soon as I can, all right?”

Buckylistened as Tony pulled on some clothes and retrieved his wallet andkeys. The door opened. “It’s going to be okay,” Tony saidagain, and then he was gone.

Buckygave himself exactly two minutes to look around, to drink in everydetail, to make himself a memory of the place he’d been so happy.Appreciated and cherished. When his throat closed up and his eyesswam with tears, he dashed down to his apartment, snatched up aduffle bag, and began to stuff his things into it. Sturdy,nondescript clothes. Extra socks and underwear. A few good knives, asimple toolkit. He left his cell, but took his tablet. He emptied thecredit cards from his wallet, but kept the cash.

Thewhole time, a countdown was running in the back of his mind, keepingtrack of the time it would take Tony to get downstairs, out thelobby, to the Starbucks across the street, place the order. The timeit would take the barista to make it.

Hewould take the stairs down instead of the elevator, and go outthrough the doors on the far side of the building so he couldn’taccidentally run into Tony on the way. Once he was out of the city,he’d send Tony a message, explaining -- he didn’t want Tony tofeel guilty, or think Bucky had left under duress.

Heyanked the drawstring on the duffle shut and swung it up on hisshoulder, and the timer in the back of his head told him that Tonywould be just starting to cross the street back toward the Tower.Plenty of time for Bucky to duck into the stairwell.

Hetook one last, deep breath and didn’t let himself look aroundagain. He opened the door -- and nearly bowled Tony over.

“Whoa!”Tony stumbled back a little, wobbling a bit to keep from spilling thedrink in his hand. “Thought I’d try the new coffee place on the4th floor, so--” His eyes fell on the duffle and widened.“You’re... You’re leaving?”

Buckycouldn’t look at him directly. It was like staring at the sun.“Tony, I--”

“Fuck.It was really that unforgivable? I don’t even know what it was.”Tony’s eyes were pleading.

“Itwasn’t you,” Bucky said desperately. “It’s me, it’s all myfault.”

“Don’tyou dare,” Tony said. “I told you it wasn’t your fault, and I’mfine,it’s just a few bruises. I get worse every time I test out a flightsystem upgrade. Bucky, I... Look, honey, if you... if you don’twant me, then of course you have every right to go, but--”

“Don’t.”Bucky’s voice broke on a sob. “Of course I want you. How could Inot?”

“Thenwhy?” Tony begged. “At least... At least take a couple of minutesto drink your coffee, and tell me why.” He held out the coffee, andBucky’s hand curled around it on autopilot.

Healmost broke at the feel of the warmth seeping through the cup.“You’ll just try to talk me out of it.”

“Well,yes. I loveyou,honey, I don’t want you to go. If you don’t want to go, and Idon’t want you to go, then I don’t know why you should go.”

“Idon’t want to,” Bucky said. “I needto.”The smell of the coffee was tantalizing, and he tipped a swallow intohis mouth. “I hurtyou.”

Hecould feelTonygetting ready to brush it off again, but then Tony stopped, drew ashaky breath, and said, “Yes. A little. You’re right. But Iforgive you for that, sweetheart. I know you didn’t mean to.”

“Itdoesn’t matter if I meant it or not,” Bucky said. “I could doit again. And next time, you might not be so lucky.”

“I’mwilling to take the risk,” Tony said seriously. “You’re worthit, to me. You’re worth everything.”

Buckyshook his head, unable to answer.

“Look,”Tony said softly, “you’ve had a big shock.”

Surprisedirritation jolted through him, gave him enough fire to lift his headand glare. “This is not some ‘overemotional omega’ bullshitthing,” he growled. He hadn’t expected that from Tony, somehow.

Tonymet Bucky’s eyes spread his hands disarmingly. “I didn’t sayanything about you being an omega,” he pointed out. “Just thatyou had a shock, which dumped a lot of excess adrenaline in yoursystem. And on top of that, your dopamine supply probably cut offfairly abruptly. That’s basic biochemistry, no gender orpresentation bias. And both adrenaline and dopamine are known toaffect mental state. For everyone,”he stressed again. “And those are only two major chemical shiftsthat took place, that I know of off the top of my head. There wereprobably a dozen or so smaller ones as well. I’m not a biochemexpert, and I definitely don’t know much about superserumbiochemistry. But I figure all that chemical wash is bound to messwith anyone’smentalstate.”

Hepaused, clearly waiting for a reaction. Bucky shrugged reluctantly.“I guess.”

Tonysmiled, just a little. “Okay, so what if... what if you stay, justfor a while, just for tonight. Finish your coffee, get your bloodsugar up a little, get your thoughts in order.” He lifted his handsa little higher. “No funny business, I promise. You can have thebed and I’ll sleep on the couch, if you want. And in the morning,if you still feel like you have to go, I won’t argue. But if you’lllet me, I’d like to at least make some arrangements for you. SoI’ll know you’re safe.”

Itwas calm and reasonable, and Bucky couldn’t bring himself to keeparguing. Not when he wanted so much to be able to stay. “All right.Just tonight.”

Tonyslumped in relief. “”Thank you.”

Buckystepped back inside, letting Tony follow him into the living room. Hedropped his duffle and sat on the couch, curled up into the corner,and tucked his knees up against his chest. Tony sat at the other end,clearly giving Bucky space.

Tonywatched, not speaking, as Bucky took sips of the coffee. The warmthof it seeped into him slowly, easing the tight, cramped feeling inhis stomach.

WhenBucky was halfway through the cup, Tony said, “Can you tell me whatyou’re thinking?”

“Youdeserve more,” Bucky whispered. “You deserve better.”

“Idon’t think so,” Tony said. “But even if I did, isn’t that mychoice to make? Whatever I deserve, I wantyou.”

“ButI’m broken.”

“So?So am I. So are all of us. Honey, if I could only date people whodidn’t have any problems, I’d go to my grave still single.”Tony tipped his head, considering. “Also, that would be prettyunfair to this theoretical betterperson,given my laundry list of issues and character defects.”

Buckyshrugged and didn’t answer. He finished the coffee, but held ontothe cup for a while, clutching it in his hands long after all thewarmth had leached out of it. After a while, Tony got up and wentinto the kitchen. He puttered around in there for a while, and whenhe came back out, he set a plate with a big sandwich next to Bucky onthe couch. “I was getting hungry,” he said, and held up his ownsandwich in demonstration.

Buckywasn’t hungry, but he set the coffee cup aside and picked up theplate to be polite. He took a bite, and all of a sudden was ravenous.He devoured the rest of the sandwich in short order, only realizingas he was licking mustard off his thumb that he was exhibiting thesort of behavior that his Ma might once have called appalling.He looked up sheepishly, but Tony was just watching him fondly.

“Plentymore in the kitchen if you want it,” Tony offered.

Buckyshook his head.

“Okayif we watch some TV?”

Buckyshrugged, and Tony picked up the remote.

Buckywatched the TV mostly because it was there; he wasn’t really payingattention. Every so often, he’d sneak a surreptitious glance atTony, bathed in the bluish light of the screen and blinking sleepily.Once, Bucky caught Tony looking at him,brow wrinkled with worry, but Tony didn’t say anything, just smileda little and went back to watching the show.

Thenext time Bucky looked over, Tony was slumped into the corner of thecouch, eyes shut and breathing shallow. Bucky looked more obviously,then, tracing with his eyes the sweep of eyelashes against Tony’scheek, the laugh lines and crow’s feet, the tumble of hair againstthe back of the sofa.

Buckytugged the throw off the back of the couch and spread it out overTony’s legs and torso. Then he tucked himself back into the cornerand watched Tony sleeping until his own eyelids grew too heavy tohold open.

Buckycame awake all at once, on high alert, like he hadn’t done for morethan a year.

Tonywas no longer sleeping at the other end of the couch. In fact, hewasn’t in the room at all. The empty coffee cup was gone, too, aswas the sandwich plate. The blanket had been folded and draped overthe back of the sofa. His duffel had been moved, and was now leaningagainst the coffee table in plain sight. On the table was a foldedpiece of paper.

Bucky,

Youwere sleeping so soundly I couldn’t bear to wake you up. I hopeyou’re feeling better, now that you’ve rested. I hope you’llreconsider your plans.

Ilove you. I will do whatever it takes to make you feel safe. Adifferent position, or something to wear, or a new cologne, or no sexat all. Anything.Including letting you go, if you really feel you need that. I madeyou that promise, and I’ll stand by it, even if I don’t want to.I added a couple of things to your bag that will hopefully makethings easier, if you still choose to go. I hope you don’t mind.

I’mhoping for a lot, aren’t I? Probably too much. But that’s whatyou give me, every day: hope.

Nomatter what you choose, I will always cherish the time we’ve beentogether.

Inlove, always,

Tony

HolyChrist, had he nearly thrown away the best thing that had everhappenedto him?

Buckyleapt to his feet and nearly tripped over the coffee table. Hestumbled halfway across the room, arms windmilling. He caught hisbalance and bolted for the stairs at a dead run.

Heflung himself into the workshop. “Tony!” It came out as awhispered scream, a hoarse cry of desperation.

ButTony was there, right in the middle of the room, he was thereandthen Bucky all but collided with him, falling into his warmth.“Tony...”

Tony’sarms were around him, then, holding him close. “I’m here,sweetheart,” Tony murmured, “I’m right here.”

“Tony,”Bucky gasped, half-sobbing. “I’m such an idiot.”

“No,”Tony soothed, stroking his hands down Bucky’s back. “Justhurting. We all do irrational things when we’re hurting.”

Buckyslid to his knees and wrapped his arms around Tony’s waist, pressedhis face into Tony’s stomach. “Alpha.”

Tonylet out a shuddering breath that Bucky felt rather than heard. Hepushed his fingers through Bucky’s hair. “Yes,” he vowed. “Youralpha, for as long as you’ll have me.”

“Sothat’s forever, then.”

They're working in the lab together when Peter suddenly leans over really close. He stays like that for a moment before pulling back, frowning.

“You smell… different.”

Those three words already ring all the alarm bells in Tony's head but he brushes it off, saying he probably needs to shower and they both laugh about it. But the moment stays on Tony's mind.

A few days later, something similar happens. They are at a meeting and Peter suddenly begins to sniff. Then, he narrows his eyes and looks over at Tony, who immediately tries to hide his flushing cheeks and turns his head, engaging in a conversation with Clint.

It doesn't take long before Tony tries to stay away from Peter. Even if he bathed in the Alpha perfume he has, the kid will act as if he smells something that's not right and Tony knows exactly what. He smells the Omega he's trying so desperately to hide.

Given being an Omega is such a huge secret, Tony is very careful with heats. He has built a special room in the basement of the tower that's connected to his lab, a room where he can retreat for several days and that is stocked with everything he needs. It's locked as soon as he enters and Friday will only open the door when his heat is over or when there's a medical emergency - a security measure Tony deems necessary with so many Alphas around.

And normally it's not a problem. He knows when it will happen, he will make up a lie that he's going to an oversea conference or meeting and no one ever asks because he's Tony Stark, he does what he wants.

The first heat that comes up when Peter is there, however, doesn't start quite like that. It's two more days and Tony prepares for his absence, stocking his heat room with food and things to work on when he has the time, when suddenly Peter steps into the penthouse, just as Tony is looking through the kitchen for some sweet things to take with him - during his heats he's a sugar addict and he hates it.

“Mr. Stark? Are you looking for something?”

Tony tenses at the kid’s voice and stands up straight, forcing himself to smile when he turns around.

“Just trying to find a snack, but it looks like someone raided my kitchen,” he jokes and closes the cupboard door with his foot. “You need anything?”

“I got your message that you couldn't make it this week and wanted to ask if I could still work at the lab while you're gone?” Peter looks almost ashamed when he asks and Tony scolds himself internally. If Peter is in the lab he will be literally a door away while he goes through his heat and even though the room is sound and smell proof, he doesn't really trust those things when it comes to him.

“I don't think that's a good idea, kid,” he says and runs a hand through his hair, sighing. He can already see the disappointment on Peter's face and he hates it. “How about you just take a break yourself? You're working so hard, you deserve some time to have fun. Play games, meet your friends, stuff like that.”

“I won't break anything, I promise!” Peter is quick to assure him and fuck, Tony wants to let him stay but it's impossible. This can't go right, it just can't. “I'll be careful not to touch anything and I won't make a mess!”

“Peter, it's not about a mess, it's… just not a good idea, that's all.” How can he convince Peter to just drop it and stay away for a week, without shattering him? Working in the lab is the highlight of his day, Tony knows that. “It's just for a few days, I'll ring you up when I'm back, okay?”

Peter looks like he wants to protest again, but after a moment his shoulders drop and his head follows and he lets out a sigh. “Okay…” he says quietly, sad and defeated. Tony wants to punch himself, repeatedly. “I'll just… wait for your message then.”

Tony doesn't think, that's the only reason he can come up with later for walking over and pulling the kid into his arms. Peter stiffens immediately, just like he did himself before, and Tony tries hard not to worry about it.

“It's not because I don't trust you, Pete, alright?” he says as calm as possible, rubbing the boy's back. “I know you're careful and won't break anything, but you're overworking yourself and you really need a break from that.”

Peter doesn't reply right away, instead, he wraps his arms around Tony too and suddenly it feels like he's trapped. Tony's breath goes faster and then stops completely when he can hear - and feel - Peter smell him. This is bad, this is all kinds of bad. He tries to let go of Peter and to step back, but he's completely paralyzed.

“You… you are not…”

“Okay, stop!” Tony needs all his strength to speak and to not let his voice tremble and finally manages to push Peter away from him. The kid's eyes are wide and knowing and it's even worse than he expected it to be. “Whatever you want to say, don't. It's wrong. Just leave, I'll text you when you can come back.”

“But, sir… I… you...”

“NO!” Tony almost shouts now, balling his hands to fists. “If you say anything about this I will never speak another word with you, Peter, I mean it! And now go! Get the hell out of here!”

Peter's eyes widen even more at this and he gulps hard. But, thankfully, he doesn't say anything else before he turns and leaves the penthouse, just in time to not witness Tony sinking to his knees, muttering “Fuck” under his breath.

That's got to be the worst possible thing to happen. Why didn't he stop himself before coming so close to the kid and his nose? Why was his need to comfort Peter so strong he ignored all of his instincts?

“It's this fucking heat,” he eventually growls and pushes himself up. It has to be that, it just has to be. Anything else is just too far fetched. His heat is making him emotional and he always hated that. Tonight he will lock himself in his room and in a few days this whole thing will be done and when his brain starts to function properly again, he will find a way to fix this. Maybe he can even convince Peter that he got tricked by his senses. He is still young after all, such things happen.

In the evening, after making sure to get some more things into his heat room just in case, Tony gives the last instructions to Friday and locks himself up for the following days. He always dreads his heats, being forced into isolation is never fun and this time he has all this guilt over Peter to keep him company too. It won't be pretty, he knows it.

No one could say Tony's heat room is anything but luxurious - it has a TV, computers, a two-way security system connected to his lab, a fridge and even a small cooking isle and a big comfy bed - but it's still nothing more but a cell to keep him locked away from any possible Alpha around him. He even installed a shower in the small bathroom attached to it, just for his own personal comfort after a heatwave. It's a necessary evil, so to speak, one that frequently steals five to six days of Tony's life he can't get back, but what can he do?

The first night and following day are boring because his heat didn't start yet, but it's better to go a day earlier than one too late - a close encounter with Steve after his heat started some hours early a while ago taught Tony this detail the hard way. He spends his time mostly with fixing protocols on his laptop and having a few drinks in the evening to fall asleep easier - one time Pepper calls him about a contract he forgot to sign before leaving and he promises her to get it done as soon as he's back, but that’s as much human interaction as he gets.

His first heatwave hits him hard around nine the next day, reminding him just how much he hates being an Omega. If he actually were an Alpha, he wouldn’t have to writhe and roll around on his bed like a filthy whore, fucking himself on fake knots just to get rid of this embarrassingly strong need for it. He almost forgets about Peter during the whole ordeal and while Friday gets rid of the disgusting odor in his room - Tony absolutely hates the scent of his heat because it just smells of desperation and shame - he takes a long, relieving shower, preparing himself for the hours of relative calm that are about to follow.

Generally, after every wave of his heat, Tony has a few hours to relax, to sleep, to even work when he feels like it. This should be something to look forward to, but at the moment he’s far too frustrated to even think about work. He stares at his screen for the second hour in a row when Friday suddenly gives him a silent alarm on a second monitor. There are only two reasons for this kind of alarm: either the tower is under attack or someone is in his lab, and for some reason, Tony doesn’t think it’s an attack.

“Pull the lab livestreams up, Friday,” he says and narrows his eyes. There are three small windows opening, showing every corner of his lab and Tony notices that this intruder is there for longer than the minute that has passed since Friday’s alarm.

He stares at the screen, at the second camera stream to be exact. It shows a corner of the lab and there sits Peter, with his arms wrapped around his knees and his face hidden from the camera. DUM-E is next to him, awkwardly patting the boy’s back and then Tony hears it, a heart wrenching, muffled sob.

“Friday, why didn’t you notify me right away about this security breach?”

“Considering it’s Peter, I did not classify him as a threat, sir,” Friday excuses herself. “He seems to be in a lot of distress though, I thought you might want to know.”

“Fuck.” Tony slams a fist onto the table. What is Peter doing here? And why is he sitting in the fucking corner of the lab like a beaten dog? “Friday, turn up the audio and zoom in, I want to hear what’s going on there.”

The picture gets bigger and Tony hears a beeping noise coming from DUM-E, to which Peter shakes his head as if he actually understands him. Tony frowns, this is weird. But then, the boy sobs again and covers his head with his hands.

“I… I didn’t mean to make him mad, I swear,” Peter sobs and Tony feels his chest tighten with guilt. No, this isn’t happening… Peter isn’t sitting there crying because he yelled at him two days ago, is he? “I didn’t know, I swear, DUM-E, I didn’t know…”

DUM-E beeps again and pats Peter’s head, but the kid only cries harder at this attempt to comfort him.

“What if he hates me now? He was so angry at me, what if he really won’t talk to me anymore? And he will be so mad when he finds out I’m here but… I miss him so much when he’s not there… I thought I could do it, but I can't…”

“Friday, what’s wrong with Peter?” Tony asks, unable to believe this is really just because he was mad over the boy finding out the truth. It seems like such an overreaction, it makes no sense. “Did he get hurt? Is he sick?”

“I’m afraid not, sir,” Friday says as Tony watches DUM-E hand Peter a tissue that he drops into his lap. “I cannot find any injuries or illnesses, it seems that his outburst is purely emotional.”

“Perfect…” Tony groans and drops his forehead onto the table. What is he supposed to do now? At the moment the smell of his heat isn’t that strong, but once his next wave hits… he just knows that Peter will notice it, whether or not his room is smell proof. “He needs to leave.”

It’s kind of impossible to look away from the screen, now that Tony knows Peter is in the lab. He doesn’t like seeing the kid cry, especially not because of something he did. It’s not Peter’s fault that he can smell through his bluff, is it? No, the kid never asked for his senses to be improved to the point they become a problem and Tony likes him, he really does. But this isn’t good. He knows that he will lose it when an Alpha is this close, he just knows. It happened once already in the past and it almost ended with Tony being mated to a random stranger because he didn’t pay attention to his cycle yet. Since then he learned to stay away from Alphas, knowing full well that he had no fucking control over himself.

Suddenly, something on the screen changes. Peter stands up and uses the tissue DUM-E gave him to wipe his nose. He repeats that a few times and Tony starts to worry.

“Friday, how smell proof is this room when you take Peter’s improved senses into consideration?” He can’t believe he didn’t check this earlier, but the number Friday are running in front of him don’t look good.

“There is a rather high chance that he will be able to smell something once your next heatwave hits, sir,” Friday tells him - not that he expected anything less, of course, that’s just Tony’s luck. “If he stays where he is, there’s a 60% chance that he will notice. But if he comes any closer to the door…”

“Friday, tell me,” Tony says strict when his AI pauses. “How high is the chance?”

“100%, sir. Peter’s senses will pick up on it, I cannot prevent it, not even if I seal the whole room and air ventilation.”

“Shit!” Tony hisses and get off the table. This is bad, this is all kinds of bad! “The bathroom! What if I go there?”

“Sir, I don’t think it’s a good idea to go there during your heatwave. It’s too dangerous.”

“Friday, if he knows I’m here I will try to get out!” Tony groans and fists his hair angrily. “Fuck, I might even try it when he doesn’t know! He needs to leave, I cannot let him see me like this!”

“Even if you try to get out, sir, my protocols forbid me to open the door under any circumstances until your heat is over or you have a serious medical emergency. And Peter will not be able to get in, it’s impossible.”

Tony groans. Yes, he knows all of this and that’s what makes it so damn difficult. He can’t get out and drag Peter away and he can’t let him in - which would be even worse because Tony would jump the kid’s bones like there’s no tomorrow, probably traumatizing him for the rest of his life. And it won’t take long before his next wave is coming, the four to five hour timeframe is already half over.

When he glances back over at the screen, Tony notices that Peter is still there, staring at the project they have been working on for the last couple of days. The one Peter claimed he wanted to finish so desperately he even asked to come to the lab while Tony is gone. He doesn’t look as though he is going to work on it, however. The kid just looks sad and defeated. Tony hears another beeping from DUM-E and then Peter turns around, patting the robot’s head. For some reason, this actually makes Tony smile. He has never seen anyone who treated DUM-E or any other of his robots and AIs like Peter does, but he shouldn’t be surprised, after all, the kid named Karen too.

“I wish I could apologize,” Peter says quietly, sitting down on the bench next to him. “I’m sure there’s a reason he doesn’t want anyone to know and I just acted so dumb and rude… no wonder he’s mad at me.”

DUM-E beeps a few times and strokes Peter’s hand, to which the boy smiles weakly.

“You think he will be angry that I came here?” Peter asks with a sigh. “He was so determined to keep me away from the lab and I didn’t listen…”

Yes, feel guilty! Leave! Don’t think about coming back and do it fast! Come on, Pete, be a good kid and fucking listen for once.

Tony almost thinks Peter will actually leave, but of course he doesn't. He covers his face with his hands and sobs again and Tony just wants to storm out of the room to hug him and then get him as far away from the lab as possible. And then, he gets an idea. It’s dangerous, it will reveal that he’s there without his heat doing it for him, but if he can get Peter out of there it’s worth it. He can explain later, when all of this is over.

He takes a deep breath and goes through the heat room protocols until he finds the one for outside communication, the one that is directly connected to the lab. He runs it and waits for the small ‘connected’ to appear on the screen. Then, he speaks.

“Peter?” Tony’s voice is gentle and calm, but it still makes the boy jump and look around almost in panic. He can see the fear on his face and it hurts.

“S-Sir!? I-I’m sorry!I didn’t… I just came because…”

“Shh, it’s okay, Peter. I’m not mad, I promise,” Tony says quietly, pinching his nose. Calm, he needs to stay calm. “But I need you to leave the lab, now.”

“I…” Peter stops suddenly, even in his sobs, and looks at the ceiling. “Can you… see me?”

“Yes and you shouldn’t be there, kid,” Tony sighs. God, why is it so hard to just talk to him?

“I promise I won’t break anything, sir, I-”

“Peter, stop!” Tony says strictly. “I told you it’s not about that. It’s… dangerous when you’re in the lab right now.”

Peter sniffs and shakes his head before wiping his eyes. He looks so crushed it makes Tony’s heart ache and he curses himself for not just locking the damn lab. Then again, he granted Peter access a while ago and even Friday wouldn’t have kept him out in this case. He’s going crazy, he just knows it. Why can’t the kid just leave?

“Pete, look, I-” Tony’s voice is cut off harshly when a stinging pain clutches around his insides and he throws himself forward with a low, desperate and painful groan. Fuck, no! This… this can’t be! Not yet! He still has an hour at least!

“Sir?” Peter’s worry is back, Tony can hear it in his voice without even seeing him and he pushes his chair back to get to the floor, almost curling himself up into a ball. “Sir, are you okay? What happened? Are you hurt?”

“Peter, please just - Argh! Just… leave…” Tony can barely speak when it begins to feel like someone is trying to pull his insides out. It always starts painful, but it was never this bad, never this… intense and agonizing. And then he realizes without any surprise that this is his body’s way of reacting to an available Alpha just on the other side of the door.

“Sir, if I can do anything to help, I-” Peter’s voice trails off and Tony knows exactly why. It’s too late to hide it anymore. His hormones are through the roof, his heatwave is hitting him harder than ever before and Peter is too close, he’s just too fucking close.

Tony lets out an agonizing wail and clutches his stomach, rolling over to the side in a desperate attempt to not look at the monitors, but it’s completely useless. His eyes find them anyway and what he sees is just Peter standing there, with wide eyes and blown pupils, his mouth partially open and staring at the camera directly pointed at him on the ceiling.

“You’re in he-”

“SHUT UP AND GET OUT OF HERE!” Tony shouts, but his heart isn’t in it. He wants Peter to stay, fuck, he wants Peter to break down this damn door and knot him and make him scream and beg for more. God, he hates himself for being so weak, for not being able to control those damn instincts.

Tony knows that Peter won’t go anywhere now that he has smelled his heat - even older, more experienced Alphas wouldn’t be able to do that and Peter is still so young, he probably never had this happen to him before. It’s all so messed up, but Tony can’t stop it.

“Pete, just go! It only gets worse when I know you’re here, please just leave!”

And then he realizes his mistake, but it’s too late, the words are already out and Peter heard them, there’s no way he doesn’t know what this means.

“You… you want me to...?” Peter’s voice is surprised and fuck if it’s not aroused, which is far worse for Tony. He lets out another desperate groan and pushes himself off the floor, his legs so shaky he barely makes it to the bed before they give in.

“Fuck, Friday, open the door!” He cries out, palming his cock and trying to not acknowledge the wetness between his legs. His body is going wild just because Peter is there, screaming to be fucked and knotted and bred like he never experienced it before. It’s so horrible and humiliating, it drives tears into his eyes.

“I cannot do that, sir,” Friday says, sounding almost sorry. “My protocols won’t allow me to do that.”

“I’m your boss, I made you!” Tony growls furiously, glaring at the ceiling. “Open the fucking door!”

“I’m sorry, sir, I cannot do that.”

Tony wants to smash Friday into pieces for denying him access to the Alpha that is right there. Doesn’t she know how much he needs him? Doesn’t she know how painful it is to know Peter is right there and that he cannot get to him? He’s still growling and writhing on the bed, trying desperately to find a way to get out or to get Peter in, when he suddenly hears the Alpha’s voice again.

“Sir, you have to stop!” Peter sounds like he’s crying again and when Tony manages to glance over at the monitors, he sees the tears in the kid’s eyes and the sadness on his face. “Please, it’s okay…”

Tony knows it’s not okay, it can’t be as long as Peter is out there, so close and yet unreachable for him. He cries out desperately, burying his face in the pillow and only partially managing to muffle the desperation in his voice. “Friday, open… please open the door…”

“Sir, I… I can’t,” Friday sounds as if she wants to do it, but her protocols prevent her from following Tony’s order. It’s so frustrating.

“I will leave, okay?” Peter sobs suddenly and Tony’s attention is fully back on the monitors. The kid looks so devastated and heartbroken, it hurts to see. “Please, I’ll just go if it makes everything worse when I’m here!”

“NO!” Tony cries out without even knowing why - he wants Peter to leave, why won’t his brain deliver the words? “If you won’t open the door, Friday, I will make you open them!”

“Sir, what?” Peter asks, but Tony is already ripping his shirt off, asking himself why he even bothered to dress again after his shower.

“You have to open the doors for a medical emergency, I will give you one,” Tony growls as he grips the arc reactor in his chest harshly.

“Sir, NO!” Peter cries, but Tony barely hears him. He is too focused on this, his need is too strong. Friday has to open the doors if he has a heart attack, she just has to! And Peter can put the reactor back in if he’s fast enough, it can work, it just has to!

“I’ll make you open it, Friday,” Tony mumbles and then finally turns the reactor, letting out a deep groan at the immediate pain he feels in his chest. He can do it, it’s not the first time… he can do it without causing any harm… he can..

“OMEGA, STOP!”

Suddenly, Tony freezes completely. That voice… it’s an Alpha voice, loud and clear and so fucking close. During all those years, Tony never heard it in one of his heats and while he is able to ignore any Alpha voice on a day-to-day basis, right now his mind and body react on their own and he listens to it without any questioning.

“Sir… please don’t,” Peter continues, his voice now far less commanding and harsh, but Tony’s body was unable to process the change for the time being and stayed still. “I’ll stay here, okay? I… I can’t come in, but I’ll stay here if you want me to… just please don’t hurt yourself, please…”

After a long pause, Tony finally manages to swallow and, after screwing his reactor back in place - not without another unpleasant sting - he drops his hand. His breath goes horribly fast and he can’t ignore the pulling on his insides, but… Peter wants to stay. Does he mean it? How can Tony let him stay when he’s in this disgusting and horrible state? Somewhere between Peter’s Alpha voice and his almost shy words right after, Tony’s heat decided to spare him for a moment, giving him time to breathe.

“You shouldn’t be here,” Tony says, his breath still hitching and making his voice tremble.

“I… I don’t want to leave you alone,” Peter replies, still crying and embarrassed, but Tony can hear the suppressed need in his voice.

Tony can feel his own rise inside of him again already and he hates it, he hates it so much because Peter is listening and he can’t even get up to turn off the communication. He can’t have him witness this, it’s just too humiliating…

“Peter… you know what I am,” Tony finally says with a thick voice, pressing his legs together desperately. “You know what you are… if you stay, I… it won’t be pretty.”

“It’s okay, I… I still want to stay.” Peter sounds so sure, so absolutely committed to stay with Tony and it makes the Omega’s heart ache. How can Peter just accept this huge secret he’s trying to hide from everyone without judging him? How can he not just run - and probably tell everybody he meets because that’s essentially what Tony has been fearing all along?

Tony is torn. For the first time in his life, he doesn’t know what is the right thing to do and it frustrates him so much. He wants Peter to stay, but at the same time he doesn’t want him to hear the pitiful and desperate act that he is about to commit and won’t be able to stop.

“Will you… stay if I turn the communication off for some time?” he finally asks, his stomach tightening at the idea of shutting Peter out from his heat. But he has to, he knows it’s the only way he can keep at least some form of his dignity.

“I… I’ll be here,” Peter says after a moment, very quiet and very sad. “If you… need time for yourself… I will still stay. It’s okay, I promise.”

The relief Tony feels shouldn’t be so intense, but it is and he can’t do anything about it.

“I will be back in a bit, I just… need to get this over with,” he gulps and finally forces himself off the bed. It feels like he’s climbing a mountain when he makes his way to the desk and when he holds onto the surface, he looks at Peter’s sweet and innocent and oh so worried face on the monitor one last time before saying: “Thank you, Peter…” Then, he turns off the communication and lets out a deep sigh. This is it now… this is the ultimate test.

He knows what I’m going to do and he will leave, he just has to. He will smell my heat and he won’t be able to take it because he’s not used to it… when I turn the communication back on he will be gone and he probably won’t come back anymore.

But despite his fear, Tony’s instincts are too strong to ignore them for much longer. Only that this time, when he throws himself onto his bed and grabs one of the toys that have eased his urges through countless of heats, his mind isn’t set to the ultimate goal of relief. No, this time, Peter is on his mind and Tony can barely cope with how much he wants the kid to be there with him, to give him what everything in his body and mind crave for so badly, no matter how wrong it is.

It’s an hour before Tony finally manages to find the release his body has been aching for so much and when he drags himself towards the shower, he just feels like falling asleep from exhaustion. Three or four waves a day are nothing uncommon during his heat, but usually he can just sleep whenever he wants to. Now, however, Peter is out there - at least he hopes he still is - and he promised to come back… he can’t just fall asleep for several hours, he can’t.

Tony’s heart is heavy when he sits back down on his desk finally. What if Peter left and he’s just going to look at an empty lab? He knows he should expect it, but the thought still hurts him deep inside. When he finally reaches out for his keyboard and runs the communication protocols again - including the camera feed - his heart is almost jumping out of his chest.

It takes an awfully long minute before the screen flickers and Tony can see the camera feed again and his heart makes a small jump when he spots Peter. He’s still there, he didn’t leave! He sits on one of the chairs, DUM-E next to him and a holo screen above his lap, apparently reading or looking at something. Tony can’t do anything other than watch the kid for a moment, wondering why he ever doubted him in the first place.

Peter is concentrating on what he reads, something that Tony could pull up on his screen but doesn’t because it just isn’t relevant to his interest at the moment, and when the Omega’s voice comes over the speakers again, Peter only flinches slightly because of the surprise. He immediately looks up though, a bright smile on his lips.

“Sir? Are you okay?” Peter asks worried and Tony really just wants to hug and kiss him for his wonderful sweetness.

“I’m okay, yes,” he says, chuckling. “What are you doing over there?”

At that, Peter flushes and quickly lets the holo display disappear before smiling at the camera. “Just some research, nothing important,” he replies.

Tony smirks, he can’t help it. He could easily ask Friday what Peter looked at and the kid knows that too, but he doesn’t. Right now he’s in this rather calm mindset between his heats and this time, he’s not completely alone. Peter is there, someone he likes and he can talk to, and he doesn’t want to argue.

“Talk to me, kid,” he says instead, sprawling in his chair and trying to somehow relax after all of this. Having someone else there during his heats is… unfamiliar. But it doesn’t feel all bad for some reason. Maybe it’s because it’s Peter or maybe it’s because he’s so utterly relieved that Peter isn’t running away from him.

And talking is pretty much what they do over the hours that follow, as weird as it might seem.

There is something so relieving about Peter knowing and not judging him that helps Tony let go of at least a little bit of his fear regarding company during this time. And it’s not unpleasant at all. Tony feared they might just be talking about his heat, but that isn’t even a topic to begin with. Peter starts talking about school and Tony jumps in, relieved  that it’s not about him right away.

Tony never experienced a heat like this. When his third wave of the day is about to hit, he lets Peter know soon enough to cut the communication off until it’s over, only later finding out Peter used the time to get himself something to eat and drink and a little to not be too overwhelmed by the scent of it. Tony is unreasonably touched when Peter tells him and doesn’t even know what to say to it.

Whenever his heatwaves aren’t torturing Tony, Peter is there, sitting with his back against the door - Tony assumes Friday told him where exactly it is but he can’t rule out that Peter found it on his own. And they talk, they talk so much, about basically everything. About school, about projects, sometimes about more personal things. When the topic draws towards Tony being an Omega, Tony is hesitant at first, but it comes easy telling Peter about it. Maybe because of the physical distance forced onto them, he doesn’t know, but it turns out to be rather relieving eventually.

When it becomes late, Tony asks Peter if he’d rather leave to actually go sleep in a bed, but the kid refuses. “I promised I’ll stay with you and I will,” he says and gets up to collect the blankets and pillows from the lounge area of the lab. There are not many, but they are enough so Peter can cuddle into one of the blankets and lean against the door. “Do you mind if I sleep here?”

Tony’s heart feels so full at the question and he’s glad Peter can’t see the smile on his face. “Of course not,” he says softly. “Are you comfortable like this?”

Peter nods, smiling at the camera. “As comfortable as I can be,” he says and lays down, wrapping the blanket around him. Tony is tired himself, but he doesn’t lay down before he knows Peter is asleep. Only then he crawls into bed, closing his eyes and allowing himself some rest too.

It’s three days they spend this way, mostly talking and even joking, unless one of Tony’s heatwaves hits him and he cuts the connection off. Until the last day, when he sits in front of the door himself, completely forgetting what’s about to happen soon. When he’s hit with the oh so familiar cramps that introduces another cycle, it hits him by surprise and he rolls over once more, clutching his stomach and groaning in pain. By now, Peter knows what’s going on and he jumps into action immediately.

“Omega, it’s alright,” the boy says quietly, his voice so close even though Tony can only hear it through the speakers that it already has a slightly calming effect on him. “You’re not alone, okay? I’m here, I’m with you…”

Tony lets out a desperate growl and throws himself against the door, knowing full well that there are only inches separating him from Peter and still being unable to reach him. For the first time, he doesn’t think about turning the communication off, without even knowing why.

“I wish you’d be here, Pete,” he sighs, one hand still pressing against his stomach and pressing his fingers harshly against his skin. “You must think so low of me by now, but I… I’m glad you’re with me…”

“I would never think bad of you, Tony,” Peter assures him, the use of his first name making the Omega smirk weakly. It’s the first time the kid does it, before this moment he was unable to shake off the ‘sir’ or ‘Mr. Stark’ - not that Tony minds, but his first name has something more… personal somehow. “You can talk to me if you need to, I’m here…”

“Pete…” Tony swallows and turns to his side, taking a deep breath to somehow keep the pain under control. It would be better to turn the communication off, he knows that. Anything else will just make it worse. But he wants to hear Peter, he wants to know he’s there, even if what’s going to happen is embarrassing.

“I won’t go anywhere, I promised,” Peter says and Tony can see him press one of his hands against the door that separates them. With a tear escaping his eyes, Tony presses his hand against the same spot, leaning his head against the metal. He knows Peter can’t feel it, but the illusion that they are almost touching is… soothing somehow.

And Peter keeps his promise, through all of it. When Tony is begging, the boy is there, talking him through it, promising that it will be over soon and that he will stay with him, when Tony is easing his need with the toys he built, Peter is there and doesn't judge, instead actually begins talking to him and indulging in Tony's heat induced fantasy of having him.

Even when Tony can't prevent the sobs afterwards, pressing a hand against his eyes and cursing his entire existence, Peter doesn't go anywhere and he doesn't laugh, he doesn't tell him that he's as worthless as he feels. Instead, he tells him that he's strong and amazing, that he doesn't see him as any less, that he's right just the way he is and it's the first time anyone ever says such things to Tony, which makes him even more emotional even though he absolutely hates it.

When it's over, they don't talk about it again. Tony is so clearly uncomfortable about the whole thing and Peter doesn't push him, doesn't ask questions. He simply returns to the conversation they had before it started, as if nothing had interrupted them. Tony doesn't know how he can ever thank Peter for this and during the conversation that follows, in which he sits with his back against the door again, he has several moments where he has to force himself to not cry.

Tony doesn't know what happened, why he can barely contain his emotions anymore. He didn't think Peter would be so accepting and sweet, that he would actually stay and not just run. And now, after three days of spending so close together, without even actually seeing each other, everything feels so confusing and overwhelming. It's just… so much.

That evening, after Peter had curled up against the door once more, Tony couldn't find any sleep. His heat will be over in a few hours and he doesn't know what he's supposed to do then. As long as they are separated like this, it all feels surreal, a bit like a dream. But, once the doors will open, everything is going to be real, everything that happened they will have to face somehow and he doesn't know how he will do it. Or if he even can...

“Sir, Peter has fallen asleep,” Friday informs him and Tony nods, but unlike the nights before, he doesn't stand up to get to bed.

“Friday… Peter is the first one in 25 years to find out I am not an Alpha…” Tony says quietly after a while, without looking up. “I have no idea what to say when we see each other again face to face…”

“May I suggest not saying anything, sir?” Friday says calmly, as if to not upset Tony. “Peter doesn't seem to mind that you are an Omega, he has gone through a lot to spend the last few days with you. Someone you would not be important to would not have done that.”

“He cares about me, I know, but how can he still see me the way he did before after knowing this? How can he still look up to me?”

“I suggest just being yourself, sir, like you always were with him. This doesn't have to stand between you, not if you won't let it.”

Friday is right, Tony thinks and sighs, leaning his head against the door. Maybe he's overthinking all of this. Maybe Peter truly doesn't think lower of him for being an Omega. That doesn't mean he won't do it because Tony has lied to everyone his whole life, but perhaps he will understand. God, Tony hopes he will understand…

Tony doesn't notice that he eventually falls asleep like this, his mind still circling around Peter and this whole mess. He's woken up when the door suddenly unlocks - it's a sound he usually anticipates and that now sends a cold shiver down his spine. Tony immediately gets up, ignoring that every muscle in his body feels sore and tense, and looks at the monitors. Peter is still asleep in front of the door, the noise didn't wake him up.

Normally, Tony would storm out of the room to dive back into his freedom, but now he carefully opens it instead to not wake Peter and when he sees the kid sleeping peacefully, he can't suppress the smile that creeps onto his lips. He's so innocent and sweet, he can barely believe this kid is an Alpha.

But he is, his mind insists, as if to tease him. He is and you just spent your heat with him, even if it wasn't physically.

Tony swallows and shakes his head. He knows that, but that doesn't change that Peter needs a comfortable bed, not the lab floor for the fourth night in a row. He already feels bad enough for the first three, really.

As careful as possible, Tony kneels down and shoves his hands under the boy to pick him up, without waking him. The blanket is still wrapped tight around him and when Tony manages to stand again, he realizes how small Peter actually looks in his arms, all curled up like this. He leans down and presses a soft kiss onto his forehead before making his way out of the lab, towards the elevator. Maybe it's not his best idea, but Peter deserves a good night's rest after all he went through and Tony knows his own bed will help with that.

On their way up to the penthouse, Peter suddenly begins to shift in his arms and eventually looks up at Tony. He's barely awake, but he registers where he is and smiles when he sees Tony carrying him.

“Omega…” he whispers before snuggling against his chest again and Tony has the strong urge to never let him go again.

Tony carries Peter all the way to his bedroom, where he puts him down gently and covers him with his own blanket to keep him warm. Then, against his better judgement, he crawls into the bed behind Peter and wraps his arms around him, only using his own blanket to cover himself and leaving Peter's as a thin layer of safety between them. He knows sometimes after his heat he is still very needy, so he wants to be sure to not do anything dumb or inappropriate with the kid in this state.

-----

It's only a few hours of sleep they get this way, but throughout the rest of the night, Peter doesn't move away from Tony at all. He's still cuddled against him in the morning with Tony's arms around him, holding him tight. It's Tony who wakes up first and it's him who breaks the embrace carefully, knowing that whatever happened during his heat needs to be treated as that, unless Peter decides otherwise. Dumb decisions are made during heats and ruts, that's the most common knowledge and Tony won't make those mistakes. He already made too many.

Tony wraps the blanket tight around Peter again before leaving, fighting his internal need for comfort and warmth that always comes after a heat. It's nothing he wouldn't be used to dealing with alone and he can't drag Peter even deeper into this than he already has. So, to distract himself, he decides to make breakfast. During the last days he mostly lived off of frozen meals for one and snacks, he needs something real again.

Half an hour later the smell of freshly brewed coffee fills the kitchen and there are omelettes and waffles on the table, as well as fresh strawberries that had been delivered the day before. When Peter stumbles out of the bedroom, rubbing his eyes sleepily and yawning, he finds Tony still in the kitchen.

“Is that… bacon?” Peter asks hopefully and Tony can't help but laugh at the unusual way of greeting him.

“Bacon and eggs and coffee, we have some waffles too if you want them.”

Peter still looks at Tony with wide eyes when he sits down and watches him come over too, a plate of bacon in his hands.

“I… I didn't know you could… cook,” Peter says embarrassed, causing Tony to laugh again.

“I usually don't brag with it, it's not really something people expect from an Alpha,” he says with a shrug and gets himself some of the omelette and bacon. “But I get along. Try the eggs before they're cold if you want to, they're what usually turns out best.”

Peter nods and puts some of the omelette onto his plate too and after debating for a moment adds a few strips of bacon on top of them. Then, he reaches for the strawberries, which makes Tony smile for some reason.

“What's so funny?” he asks curiously.

“Nothing,” Tony chuckles and takes a sip from his coffee. “I just always have the urge for these things after a heat, I don't know why.”

Peter bites the tip off his strawberry, wiping his chin when some of the juice runs down his lips. “They're good,” he says, smiling, and only now noticing the way Tony is looking at him. As if he was caught red handed, Tony shakes his head quickly, taking a bite of his eggs. His cheeks are slightly pink and Peter feels a sudden pit in his stomach.

“I won't tell anyone, you know,” Peter says quietly after a while, without looking up. He knows that this is a topic Tony doesn't want to talk about but it feels necessary that they address it. “I'm sorry for causing you so much trouble and for making you angry…”

Tony swallows his bacon down and looks at Peter, who appears so much smaller than he actually is with his bowed head and hanging shoulders. He feels awful for the guilt he caused in the boy with his own fear.

“I wasn't angry at you, Pete,” Tony finally sighs, putting his fork down. His hunger disappeared somehow. “You just happened to sniff through a bluff that lasted 25 years and I… kind of panicked.”

Peter gulps and his cheeks flush harder. “I… I didn't mean to, really. I should have just stayed quiet.”

“It's not your fault, don't work yourself up over it,” Tony sighs and runs a hand through his hair. “Sooner or later someone had to find out, I'm just glad it was you and not Steve or Bruce. I'd never hear the end of it.”

Peter isn't sure what to say to that and shifts uncomfortably in his chair. “I… I won't tell anyone,” he repeats eventually, just to make sure Tony knows he won't. “I don't mind, really, you're still… you, after all.”

“I wish everyone would think like that,” Tony smiles and takes one of Peter's hands over the table, squeezing it gently. “I'm sorry I yelled at you, that was really not the right way to go about it.”

“Are you… mad that I didn't listen to you? That I came into the lab after you told me not to?”

Tony shakes his head, still smiling. “I know you didn't do it to spite me and you didn't know why I told you to stay away, it's okay, really.”

There's a long silence between them in which neither of them does anything, not even eat, and Tony knows this isn't over yet. There are other things Peter wants to ask, things he doesn't want to talk about but knows he has to.

“Were you really about to hurt yourself just so Friday would open the door?”

Damn, Peter asks one of the worst questions right away, he doesn't dance around the bush.

“You could say I was a bit… overwhelmed by your presence,” Tony admits with a smirk. “I stay away from Alphas during my heat, it's just too dangerous if I don't. Had you not stopped me… you would have either found me dying of a heart attack or making you take and knot me. It's not pretty and I wish you wouldn't have witnessed any of this, believe me.”

Tony looks ashamed and he feels the part too. He remembers how he had begged Friday to open the doors, how he was willing to risk his own life just for Peter's knot. It's just embarrassing how little control he had left during his heat. And Peter experienced everything, which makes it about ten times worse.

“What… what were you trying to do?” Peter asks carefully, as if he's afraid of the answer. Tony sighs and pushes his shirt up, taking his arc reactor into his hand and twisting it. “Oh God no, stop!” Peter protests immediately, jumping up with fear wide eyes.

“Don't worry, nothing can happen yet,” Tony says calmly and gives the kid a patient smile. “This is how far I got. You stopped me from pulling the plug, basically.” He lets out a half amused, half bitter laugh and screws the reactor back in before pulling his shirt down again. “It's kind of deadly to remove the reactor for too long.”

“Don't… don't do that again, please,” Peter gulps, his hands shaking when he sits back down. “Did you... really want it that much?”

Tony nods, anything but proud of it. “Heats are no child's play, kid,” Tony says with a hint of bitterness in his voice and looks at him. “They make people dumb and reckless, just like ruts. Omegas have thrown themselves off buildings or in front of cars during their heats, it's literally shutting parts of their brains off at times.”

“Is that why you lock yourself away?”

“Partially. I also do it because I live in a tower full of Alphas and it's not a good idea to go into heat around them.” Tony gives Peter a smirk before continuing. “It can turn Alphas into beasts when they're faced with it directly. Tends to give them all kinds of filthy ideas.”

Peter blushes hard and turns his head in an attempt to hide it, but of course Tony saw it already. “It must be… difficult to not let anyone know…” he mumbles.

“I’ve been doing it for quite some time now, I just didn't expect someone to just show up and literally smell through it like you did,” Tony shrugs. Of course it's not fun pretending to be an Alpha, but it's easier than the other option he has.

“I'm sorry you have to do this…” Peter's voice is quiet and something about it makes Tony's chest ache. He has been around countless of Alphas, but none of them were ever like this kid. Something about Peter is different and Tony can't ignore that he likes that. A lot more than he should.

“You know, if all Alphas were a bit more like you, I wouldn't have to hide what I am,” Tony says softly and smiles, shaking his head. “But as it is, it's just easier this way.”

Peter nods, but doesn't say anything to that. He looks uncomfortable, as if he'd rather be elsewhere and Tony doesn't know if he wants the kid leave or stay. Peter is nice company, they got to know each other much better over the last days, but he can't let this progress even if he clearly wants to.

“I'm glad you stayed with me over the last days, Peter,” Tony finally says and he actually means it. “I'm sorry for… pulling you into this, but I enjoyed your company a lot.”

“I enjoyed yours too,” Peter mumbles and turns back to the table. He takes his coffee, which is now cold, and drinks it with a stern face. When he puts the mug back down Tony notices the tremble of his fingers against the porcelain. “And thank you for getting me into a real bed…”

Tony wants to hug Peter so much and preferably never stop. He reaches out with his foot under the table, rubbing his ankle against Peter's leg carefully. The boy flinches for a moment, but then relaxes again and actually presses his leg against the touch.

“If you… want me to keep you company again, I… I don't mind, really,” Peter says after a while, looking at his plate of cold food. “I don't know, maybe we can… work together when it's not that bad. To distract you.”

Tony should say no and that Peter is crazy for even suggesting this, but he doesn't. He wonders if he could risk it, if he can trust himself and Peter enough to actually be around him during his heat. He could still retreat to his heat room when a wave hits him, he just needs to change some of Friday's protocols so he can open the door at will. It's dangerous, it's reckless and dumb, all the things Tony tries so hard not to be during his heat, but when he looks at Peter, he feels like it's worth trying.

“It's okay if you don't want to, I understand,” Peter says when Tony doesn't answer for a while and shakes his head. “It's probably not a good idea, to be around me, I mean.”

“I've never been with an Alpha during my heats, Peter, this… this isn't an easy decision for me,” Tony admits, taking one of Peter's hands again to squeeze it. “Give me some time to think about it, okay?”