Don't compare me to your friend with asthma.
Don't lecture people with chronic illness on how to manage our condition or compare us to others with our condition. I need to hear, "So-and-so has asthma and they don't cough as much as you do. Maybe you need to talk with your doctor and try something different," exactly never.
So-and-so isn't a moderately severe asthmatic. So-and-so doesn't have my asthma. So-and-so is on less than half the meds I am, and because their asthma is milder than mine, they have the great good fortune to be able to achieve textbook asthma control. That's great for them. I'm happy for them. No, really, I am, even if my writing or voice sounds a bit upset - I'm not upset with So-and-so for winning the asthma lottery and getting mild and easy to control asthma, I'm upset with you for treating me as if it's my fault that I didn't.
You see, the thing is, So-and-so's asthma is not my asthma. Textbook asthma control is not in the cards for me unless and until some sort of asthma treatment breakthrough is made. I'm not going to go chasing down every miracle alt med bullshit that comes on the market in a desperate attempt to make this better. It won't work, for one. For two, I can't afford it. And for three, I'm not willing to put that much effort into it - I have a life to live. I have control as defined by my pulmonologist, and it's control that lets me live my life and do what I want to do with as little disturbance as possible. I have symptoms more than the 2x a week in the guidelines, but I can deal with that. I can live my life.
And that's good enough. It has to be good enough, because it's all I'm ever going to get. And this might blow your mind, Mx Abled Person, but I am honestly okay with that. I am okay with the fact that I will never breathe like a normal person, that I have never breathed like a normal person in my life, and that I don't know what it's like to breathe with healthy lungs. I'm okay with always being a little uncomfortable. I'm okay with the fact that I have to work harder and longer to get the same amount of physical endurance because of my temperamental and cranky lungs. I'm okay with it. Really. I've learned to deal. When you've been sick since you were born, you figure out how to deal. Because you have to.
So don't pity me. And especially, especially don't judge me for being unwilling to put out horrendous amounts of time, money, and effort on wild goose chases in the vain attempt to gain a cure, or even just So-and-so's asthma. My asthma is mine. It's probably not going to get better. It's probably never going to go away. And that's okay.
