#aada

Unfortunately I don't think Ormr would survive malev, he wouldn't listen to John at all and probably fall down something tbh 😔

look at her ! girl ever !!

this ones also pretty rough, but in all fairness i spent about an hour on it at most

some quick fanart 4 an upcoming podcastt !

sorry about the hair being kinda eh, it just wasnt working tonight </3

Now look back on that time and my view is a little different. I was only 18. I was fresh out of high school and fresh out of my mother's house. I didn't know I had Fibromyalgia yet I just had heavy unexplained pain and fatigue that caused me to be able to practice outside of class a lot less often as my peers. I had just gone off my ADHD medication for the first time in my whole life. I know this was dumb of me, but I couldn't keep getting it in LA. I never figured out how to get it without my mom's help who lived elsewhere. If you know anything about AADA, you know about the 50-page bios. (I have the demigod mixture ADHD and dyslexia) my dyslexia made IPA for Voice and Speech really hard for me, so there were assignments I didn't do well.

I was also finally out of my mother's house for the First Time. I moved from a conservative mountain town to West Hollywood. I was away from my abusive mom, able to do whatever I wanted in a big city. I went out a lot. I should not have done this, but eh, what are you gonna tell an 18 year old in this situation. I imagine that me using my limited energy for going dancing or to Disneyland every weekend was hurting my ability to practice outside of class as often as I should have.

I'm not trying to defend myself and say that I should have gotten invited back. I'm 24 now, and I'm turning 25 next month. It's been 7 years, and I can finally admit that they should not have invited me back. That version of me was not ready. I was never rested, unmedicated, undiagnosed, and unfocused. I wish more than anything that I waited for now to go to acting school. I wish so badly that I could go back now that I feel like I can truly actually do it well. But I can't. I already did it at 18 and fucked it up. I don't know how I'm gonna get acting training like that again. I haven't properly acted in years so I really need it. I'm gonna have to get an acting class on Skillshare or something.