#aaaaasa

The train ride had been entirely silent, save for the occasional screeching of wheels on tracks and shifting of carts. Not even the others managed to bridge the gap from Rui's far away gaze and shaking eyes. Staring down at the floor, potently aware of his obvious failing of you... You, of all people. The one person he could have used his fucked up curse to free of yours.

"Rui, can I ask you a favor?"

He couldn't even bring his head up. Your voice is nearly angelic by comparison - he couldn't understand why- how- you could be so kind to this foul soldier who tripped and fell on his own sword on duty for you.

Forcing a small smile, the reapers favorite could feel the weakness in it as he looked up towards you. Seeing the exhaustion in your perfect face. He couldn't even imagine all the pain you must be in, the mental anguish you were putting yourself through that he could have relieved...

Fuck.

"Sure, [Y/N], anything." It was the least he could do. If you even asked him to fall on his scythe now, he would.

Your hand reached out - only flinching it back when you remembered his nature. Hah. You? We're going to comfort him? How low he had fallen.

"Don't blame yourself for this," you softened, pressing your hand over your heart. The same one still beating despite everything... Suppose he didn't lose you ... But -...

"[Y/N]-"

"You're only human ..." You reminded, eyes dropping down to the floor he had been so fixated on, "No one could have seen that coming. Not even gods."

Laced with sincerity... All Rui could do was stare at you, as though you had sprouted wings instead of those dastardly flowers growing inside. He didn't deserve you ... This world didn't deserve you. Rui would have traded his life in that instant just to go back and undo what he had done, everything that it resulted in... because you deserved better. No. You deserved the best.

And that wasn't him.

"Hah..." Not a single reassurance usually so well crafted and easily believed lay on his tongue, "... I'll do my best for you, okay?"

"Thank you."

You smiled, genuine yet restraining that sadness that only those close to you could decipher. Damn this curse. Damn everything it's taken. Damn that stupid anomaly and damn this reaper... from keeping him from holding you so tightly you cracked in his arms.

Forcing himself upright, seeing the way your stature lacked its usual conviction, coiling into itself ever so slightly. He forced another bigger smile, if for no one else but you.

"[Y/N]... Don't hold back on me, okay...? With me, you can say anything you'd like." Offering you a small wink, mustered up with the last of his energy, "curse twins honor."

"... Curse twins honor."

You winked back like it was your secret way to pinky promise without touching. If it were any other day, any other time, his heart would warm so much he'd swear he was on fire. Yet as he left the train, all he was left with was a painful ache.