Tangled in sheets, staring at the ceiling fan wobbling in place from its precarious hangar. Shifting from one side to the other, no space on the mattress felt remotely cold, leaving an Alan sized outline with the blankets pushed aside. Jabberwock stayed the same temperature all year round, Vagastrom was hardly the same case. Half glaring at the walls, he wiped the beading lines on his forehead, pulling on a tank top for some semblance of care toward the women in the dorm as he stumbled across the worn floors.

A drive could do him good about now, an effortless way to enjoy some cold.

Too bad he needs a permit.

Settling for just a canteen of water - one he drank and refilled at least once before heading out of the dorm just in search of wind. Boots scuffing against the ground as he wandered what he believed to be aimlessly through the campus.

Even on the hottest days he still searched for it.

This ... Was creepy. It had to be. In any other case Alan would be grabbing someone by the shoulder with a very firm reminder to never show up here after hours, in fact, he should -

"Alan?"

He deserves this.

"[Y/N]. It's late." Turning around just to face you, the wind instantly hitting him like the sight in front of him. The brutal warmth clamping down nearly unbearably around his most valuable muscle while you smiled at him.

Sweat glistened across your head, eyes crinkling in the corners once they met his. His chest quickly did something he couldn't stand, no, this wasn't a hint.

"I could say the same to you."

"Couldn't sleep.

"It's ... Grossly hot anywhere that's not Frosthiem or Jabberwock..."

Ah. He forgot about that place for a moment.

"What are you doing up?"

"I just got back from a mission last night," you paused, shoulders raising ever so slightly, the air passing between you turning sharp, "... I just needed a walk."

Alan nodded, despite the question hanging on his mind it was quickly folded away. You needed warmth; the idea made his eyes fall to the ground.

Nodding, Alan raised his head, brushing his bangs back in a near nervous gesture he hoped you didn't think past, "We can walk."

There was no relief in the outdoors, the colors were darker and the shadows cast around everything were harsh under the moonlight and punishing heat. He didn't move for conversation, didn't push a single syllable past his lips and simply matched your pace across the sidewalk letting you decide the direction. Naturally you seemed to keep walking in the area around your dorm, any usual silence you would have filled remaining void.

Hopefully that was a comfort to you.

Occasionally offering you his water and not watching you as you drank it or complaining when the camping cantineen was empty of the liquid gold. There would be no relief for him and he knew that, not until you left, until you freed him from this disastrous warmth threatening to press on his lungs and leave him at your mercy.

As if he wasn't already.

Finally you seemed to find what you sought, a bench saved in the cold of shadow where the lamps needn't bend too far to be comfortable and the moon hung just beyond the dorm building in the distance. Your glance up at him then down to the bench a silence command he couldn't resist. You were close, warm and seemingly so comfortable even when he noticed his hand a little too close to yours for comfort. Quick to put them on his lap hanging between his thighs loosely.

Staring up at the moon rather than you as a breeze chilled the liquid on his skin, a small saving grace that only night could bring when you're so close to water. The suffering a fond familiar memory, almost alien to him now.

"Feels like camping."

You seemed surprised his voice broke the silence, leaning forward just to peer into his face. Suppose avoiding your gaze was a punishable offence.

"you like camping?"

"I used to do it with my dad sometimes. It's nice. There's nothing to bother you, no noise... Better stars." Loosely gesturing with his water bottle, his head lilting towards yours to save your neck from the crane.

"Better stars?"

"Light pollution makes the stars harder to see," crossing the distance between your eyes his voice even with the barest hint of fondness catching the edges, "but without light they're all you can see."

"We should go camping one day," you remarked entirely off handedly, "I wanna see all the stars I can, it's like sharing history with people you've never met... they looked at the same stars we do," Clearly having no idea what unbearable warmth you pushed upon his twisting heart where every string spelled your name in a fine script.

"... Okay. Dunno many constellations ... But, I'll show you the stars." A genuine smile pulled at the corner of his lips as one sat just beside him with no idea how they glowed.

˚₊‧꒰ა··········································•✦•··········································໒꒱ ‧₊˚

Even if sometimes she looked crazy talking to that cursed doll or the biwa, everyone still loved her... including them!

You tried to be like her, to be kinder, to make yourself presentable, to be always ready when help was needed but no, it was always her.... But one day you saw them and they saw you too. Something must be finally happening, no?

It started there, your relationship with them growing, you guys becoming closer. They were becoming more comfortable, talking with you, asking you for help and more! Surely you had a chance now! Right?

So you decided that after months of becoming friends you'll confess, because you can't take the pressure in your heart anymore or you'll explode.

You invited them to where you guys usually meet, you gathered your courage.

“I like you....I liked you for months now and if you could just give me a chanc-”

You were cut off by their voices.

"I apologize if you misread our whole relationship, but I like Luna."

Ahh, of course they like her...

"....Of course yeah… I’m sorry, I -I should go now."

And then you walked out, it seems like no matter what you do, it'll still be her they want. When will it be you?

You walked along pavements, passing and bumping into other general students. A few whispered words over here and there, people continuously tapping on their phone, some picking up things that have fallen and of course couples who're showing so much affection in public it makes you want to vomit. You walked faster to reach your dorm but then you saw him....

Haku, still him, still teasing and flirting everywhere, not missing a chance to throw a few inappropriate comments... He was so in his element, unlike you… How long had it been since you had broken up? 5 months? 6? Had it been long enough for him to forget you? You were still mourning, even though you were the one who broke it up....

A few months ago, you saw him flirting with another woman again. How many had it been that month? More than you can count, and more than you could accept. You confronted him about it and he deflected it, charming you into forgiving him but you were done, you weren't letting it go just like that.

"Come on princess, you know I don't mean-"

"Let's break up Haku… If....if it's always going to be like this, it's better if we just end this now, before I fall further and get hurt," you said, tears forming in your eyes… You waited for him to say something, but nothing was said, so you walked out, hoping he would come after, tell you no, that he won't do it again, that this time it's real but no one came after you... Only the continuous sounds of raindrops falling kept you company.

Looking at him now, flirting with the honor student, did it even matter to him? You said pulling out a new cigarette and lit it, you looked at the burning cigarettes and you looked at him, he was the one who taught you how to smoke, influenced you yet now he was the one who wasn't smoking anymore, it's funny really....

You looked at the cigarettes between your fingers once more and this time your expression changed, you were disgusted by it. But still, you didn't stop, until you were tired of the smoke filling up your lungs.

You threw the cigarette somewhere before looking at him one last time but this time, he was looking back, his cat-shaped eyes were looking back at you, the fondness and softness it had before for you were now long gone.

You stared at each other for a few seconds before he broke the eye contact and started charming and flirting with them again, and it made you think if you were the one in wrong and not him, if the two of you only broke up because you became a little possessive of what's supposed to be yours...

Even after all this time, you managed to make me doubt myself, you think with a huff. How ironic of you, Haku Kusanagi.