#a. queue

with @idminsoo at the rooftop garden of their hotel after kbs showtime in chile, early in the night.

when aroon told his parents he would be traveling to chile his mother made him promise he wouldn’t drink too much wine. too much calories, his mother said, too much potential for getting drunk and becoming a pr disaster, his father said. he is a good son, so he promised not to drink, but the promise is broken within his first few hours past the event. 

he feels on edge and like drowning all at the same time. this was supposed to be a special night, being given a special stage for his song is not something small, performing it with hyuk instead of san should make everything even better, but it doesn’t. they are not like before, there is something if not broken then cracked between them. so aroon decides to distract himself in the best way he can: in the company of other people.

enter ha minsoo.

theirs is an easy friendship, aroon likes easy things. he thought they’d hate each other, or minsoo would hate him, after that argument at the new years party, but now as they sit together, wine glasses in hand and a soft jazz song playing in the background aroon feels comfortable. if months ago this seemes impossible now it feels natural to talk to minsoo, laugh over simple things together.

“and then they told me i had forty minutes to come up with a bridge, so that’s how dramarama ended up that way,” aroon says, takes a sip of his wine. it’s a pleasant night, the place is not too crowded, no one cares about who they are, everything is good. 

minsoo looks different, or maybe it’s the santiago night that changes him so much; the way he acts, relaxed, a bit more confident than usual, makes aroon smile. minsoo has always been like this, he remembers from their trainee days, always walking around as if he carries a secret far too heavy for his own heart. maybe he does, aroon doesn’t know, they spent so much time apart many things must have changed now.

“hey, ha minsoo, i’m talking to you.” because it’s obvious minsoo is not paying attention to a word he is saying. aroon looks at him, at where he is looking. oh. he takes another sip of his wine, licks his lip, watches as minsoo still stares at him. he knows this look very well, has seen it on other boys’ eyes before, and it never fails to make aroon feel better about himself. he is attractive and he knows it, perhaps his biggest flaw.

at a different time, in a different situation, maybe aroon would get up and leave, say he needs to be somewhere else, that they are friends and he doesn’t want to ruin it, they barely started talking again. but he doesn’t want be alone now, thinks minsoo feels the same. so instead of walking away aroon leans closer, staring at minsoo.

with @idryusan at midas studio, second recording session for their collaboration.

despite what he may seem like, aroon is not delusional. he knows that the world doesn’t revolve around him – although in his opinion it should – and he can’t always have what he wants ( case in point: bae hyukjae ). but there are moments, glimpses of life in which aroon believes he can do things with his hard work and talent alone, that if he pushes for something and keeps on insisting he will get his way. and while this might work with his titanium members, particularly dax when he is on a grumpy day, it doesn’t work with midas. they own his soul, control his fate in ways no one should dare to, and they have no trouble reminding aroon that he is nothing but a puppet every time he starts to feel like a real person.

most times aroon doesn’t mind, he signed the contract out of his own will, after all. he didn’t need to, his parents had a whole life planned ahead for him, and yet he went to a foreign country and sold himself cheap to midas so they could make something out of him, something he would like instead of whatever he was as a pre-teen. his self hatred was unnecessary back then, he knows now, but at the time he didn’t and he was desperate to love himself again, midas sounded like a good idea.

they promised him the golden touch if he was willing to work hard for it, if he was willing to sacrifice everything for it. aroon kept his side of the bargain, midas is still keeping theirs. it started with a song on titanium’s album, then another, then a single, then songs for aurora and for san’s solo album. little by little, piece by piece, they were feeding him crumbles so aroon could think they kept their word. but midas holds their cards close to their chest and they never make a move without reminding aroon that he will have to do all the work on his own. the midas touch is nothing more than that, brief and inconstant.

so they send him to show me the money and it doesn’t matter much for them, midas is not known for stellar rappers anyway. but it’s a strategy, they tell him. titanium needs more fans and who else but the prince to charm them? if aroon wins, good. if he doesn’t at least he had exposition to a wider audience. but aroon hates losing, so he pours every piece of his soul into making this work, gives himself to it until there is nothing left.

this was supposed to be their moment. aroon and hyukjae, standing on the stage together, the song they worked together on for months, who they polished and perfected and prayed for midas to like. and then, then they pull the strings and remind aroon that he is not a real boy, no fairy will turn him into one. he is their puppet and he shall do what they want.

in comes ryu san with his arrogance and his uninterest and his glooming presence. it’s suffocating, to be with him at such a small place. aroon hates everything about him, hates his soft skin and his dyed hair and his voice, hates the way he moves with elegance, years of dance training to thank for it. but mostly he hates that san stole hyuk’s place, that san will be on his song, that san will be credited for something he doesn’t care about.

with @idxnoah at sbs cafeteria, mid gayo daejun rehearsals

there is something to be said about how at home aroon feels in situations like this, when they are thrown somewhere and told to rehearse for hours and hours. this, perfecting their dance, checking up the mics and marking their positions, this is what he likes. this is what he signed up for. the thrill that will come later on, when he performs and hears the crowd singing along, the screechy sounds when he shows up on camera.

not a day goes by in which aroon isn’t sure that this is what he was born to do. he was born to be an entertainer. and sure, there is the bad side, there were the years of training and uncertainty, there are the long hours of work, the lack of sleep and privacy, so many things that make it terrible, but so many things that are addictive in ways aroon couldn’t describe if asked to.

at least now they are given time to rest before the actual ceremony starts. and sure, aroon dreads sitting there for god knows how long, pretending to enjoy groups he never paid attention to so he is not called rude later, but there is the performance to make it all worth, or so he thinks.

he has no idea of where the other titanium members are, so aroon decides to eat something by himself before they have to start preparing. the caferia is crowded, noise of chattering filling the place as people meet with friends and relax together. 

after buying his food aroon looks for a place to sit when he sees noah. there is a faint memory of the last time they met, at the party, both too drunk to remember what they were doing. or so aroon thought then, because now he remembers details of their conversation, and it was a plesant one, or as pleasant as complaining about your life can be.

           “i’m going to make him an offer he can’t refuse”

@aroon_tt – AROON

detail your character doing a variety show appearance with @idohsan at radio star shooting

it’s good, to be alone for a while.

aroon is an only child, he grew up doing things on his own and while he got used to sharing a dorm and now sharing schedules he prefers this, the solitude of his thoughts. he has always been too selfish to willingly share even his time with someone else. and this, this is good, how he can stay silent and only do what he is told, say what he is told. how he doesn’t need to think much about anything.

it’s a big deal, he knows, to come alone to radio star. midas rarely lets them do anything, titanium is supposed to be this group of mysterious guys, hiding behind their fans on the shangri la choreography. but aroon is popular on his own, or something close to it. he did rank high on pro.j, had people commenting on how good he is, how great he looked on the show, so he has a bit of leverage over the other titanium members.

a star in the making, they call him. a diamond in the rough, in need of some more years of polishing and he will shine bright.

maybe he will shine bright like oh san, who nows makes his way to a chair next to his, who aroon greets politely. they haven’t properly talked since kcon in aroon prefers it that way because he knows san can see through him, he can see the hunger in his eyes and how much aroon wants what he has. the good, the bad, the ugly, he doesn’t care, he wants to be the golden boy like san, wants to be on top.

aroon knows the role he has to play now that san is there and he doesn’t mind, it only adds to his own image, the perfect, sweet boy who is too quiet to be a problem, who lets his performances speak for him, and the hoobae who is so glad to be there with such an important senior like san, someone he admires so much.

aroon_tt – AROON                                                  - 10min ago

#LA  dax hyung said i looked cute lol

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