#a partner

the age old question: what do i want?

Honestly not even in a horny mood (my period has low key killed some of my horny, I am now just tired). I just want to be cuddled and held and called a handsome man in a very queer way by another butch or a femme. I want someone to make sure I have enough money and food to eat 3 meals a day. Like I want to be touched and held and be taken care of. And not even in a kinky way but in a: "i am a pack animal (human debatable) in desperate need of constant affection and community because it sustains my weary soul against the battering of the totalitarian regime"

It’s my 24th birthday!

anyone else get that really weird dysphoria where you can't even enjoy media you like if it has male characters that remind you of yourself cause it just makes you think about how you'll never experience anything even close to them not cause they're living in a fictional world (obviously i don't want to be in a world of supernatural creatures and danger) but because the simple joys and silly relationships they have are something you'll never experience because there's simply something too different about you. you'll never have another man like you and see you as anything more than woman lite, you'll never have the moment of someone thinking you're dating a friend cause you both seem gay, never have the peace of just existing as you are and not being seen as a freak. even worse you're almost jealous. the fact that a fictional person gets to have a taste of the life you want more than anything makes you nauseous, it's not something unheard of, someone else has painted a picture of your biggest dreams, and you'll never get anything remotely like it because the something wrong with you