I think we as a society have forgotten that charming doesn’t inherently mean suave.
Look no further than legend of the 90s British romcom, Hugh Grant.
Charles from Four Weddings? Charming, very much not suave.
He tries to turn it on occasionally (when getting champagne for him and Andie McDowell) but often bumbles and puts his foot in it (telling an acquaintance that his girlfriend was cheating on him as said acquaintance is telling him they got married)
Daniel Cleaver from Bridget Jones? Charming and suave.
He’s almost always in control of a situation, if he bumbles, he knows how to deal with it (“this is a very silly little dress Jones, very silly little boots and my God enormous pants […] don’t worry I’m wearing something quite similar myself”)
Now I’m not saying Daniel Cleaver isn’t hot (god he is) but it’s often even more charming when a character isn’t suave (Charles).
If fact we see exactly this in Bridget Jones’ Diary itself. Cleaver is easier to be drawn to because of his easy control of a situation, but Mark Darcy, who is also incredibly charming but has the least suave that it’s possible for a man to have is the One. And his charming/suave ratio plays into that.
And while we’re not getting many RomComs nowadays, we’ve lost the art of the charming and suave-less male lead that is oh so endearing.
And that’s what they are, endearing. In a way that an extremely suave character cannot grasp, because in order to sympathise with someone, in order to grow close to someone they have to show a piece of their real self, and that frequently means they have to give up their suave.
Male characters now often are too put together and fit highly into the male gaze (how men would like to see themselves)