#6 anon

not a fan of huge groups anon (new)

Hi! Just wanted to say that I love your microfics; i look forward to reading it every time I see you've posted one. But I do have a question for you. So, I have been in homeschool for the last two years and haven't had any friendships or anyone to talk to, as all of my old friends ghosted me after I left, but one just reached out asking if I wanted to come over with her new friends (who i dont know), and i dont know if I should accept or not. I have social anxiety, so its pretty nerve wrackinh just thinking about it, especially since im not a huge fan of groups anyway, and I dont really know what to do. I know your asks (is thst what they're called?) aren't usually like this, but I feel like i need a second opinion

Hi!

I can actually hugely relate to this- I did online school for a little while because of anxiety and I struggled with friendships because of it.

Honestly, I would try it IF you have an out. Meaning like…if you have a way to escape where you’re not trapped there the whole time, then I think you should go. If you can drive, or someone can easily pick you up or bring you home, and help you make an excuse, then you have a way of not feeling anchored there and at someone’s mercy. When I’m able to set that up for myself it helps my social anxiety so much because I’M in control.

If you can do that, then yeah, I think you should try it. Only because I do regret not being very social during the years I was in online school, and the friendships I missed out on, so that’s the advice I would give myself. But also if you’re literally having panic attacks, you know you the best, and that’s important, too <3 pay attention to your needs and your emotions. It’s okay to put yourself first!

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6 anon

Hi <3

So first of all, omg, I am SO sorry about 4th grade…that’s absolutely awful and I’m sick reading about it.

As far as your current teacher, yeah what he said was NOT okay. I think it can be so hard because like…how do you tell the difference between a man who just doesn’t know boundaries and that he’s being a creep and a man who’s showing red flags? The answer is, you can’t, and that’s NOT something you should be worrying about right now, especially at school. 

I think you need to tell someone about this comment. Because either this person is absolutely awful and needs to be stopped or this person does not know boundaries…and needs to be stopped. Either way, he made you uncomfortable which is NOT okay. My suggestion would be to tell a guidance counselor. I forget, do you have good guidance counselors? Someone who would take you seriously if you told them what was said and that it made you uncomfortable?

Again, I’m sorry this happened, it’s unacceptable and I hope you know it’s not your fault.

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actually pass anon (new)

OH MY GOD OH MY GOD I ACTUALLY PASS WTF

The other day a group of like 13-14 year olds from school thought I was a guy and I was like woah, must just be a good day and then today I was out and I wasn’t even trying to look super masc I mean i wore a pretty neutral outfit and a bit of eyeliner and like someone with the mlm flag checked me out and actually freaking hit on me >_<

Hi! Congrats, that's an awesome feeling! Even better, it sounds like you feel comfortable in your body and gender, which is most important <3

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not so freshman anon

hey cas! it's not so freshman anon

in 10 years it really depends :/ if i was still friends with her in 10 years/if we fell out it wasn't because of the confession then I'd be glad to do it but ngl id regret it if our friendship ended bc of this

but also uhm my feelings keep coming and going idk what's going on it's like I like her and then i think i don't but then I think I do again

Hi <3

Yeah, I understand, it's not a simple decision. and it's also like...it's easy for me to be like "well if the friendship ends because of it, then fuck her, that's not okay" but also it's not that easy. I know it's hard and thinking through it is stressful <3 I'm here for you though!

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thoughts anon

pe set anon (new)

hi! So I don't really know how to start this but you're someone I'd trust with giving me advice and I don't know what else to do currently

I just got my timetable for this school year (we go back on Thursday 4th of September) and I'm not in the same set (class, based off of skill) as my friends for PE because I've been moved down a set (to a group with worse people) and I have no idea what to do about it

Should I ask them to change it? Last year I was in top set and did really well so I don't know why I got moved down, especially since it's mainly based on motivation as well as fitness and even though I'm not the fittest person ever I still try my best every time! I'm really stressed about it and I'm not sure what to do since I don't know anyone who will be in my class for it and I don't understand why they moved me down

I'm so sorry to contribute to your ever-growing list of asks! I just really don't know what to do and I'm kind of freaking out about it

Hi!

I'm sorry, that really sucks! I mean imo, it doesn't hurt to ask. The worst they'll say is no, you know? And if you don't ask, youll never know if things could've been changed or not. And if you ask, you can also find out the why behind it. Answers are better than no answers, you know?

I hope things work out!

Also please don't apologize, I don't mind at all!

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masking anon

Hey Cas! It’s been awhile, how are you?

It’s another year of school and I was wondering what it means to actually know oneself,

Am I my hobbies? Am I the thoughts circling in my head? Am I the mask I instinctively use when around certain people? Am I my anxiety? Am I who I am on the outside or inside?

I don’t really know,

I was wondering if you had any advice/thoughts about it? I’ve been struggling to look in the mirror since I don’t think I know who’s looking back at me

-masking anon

Hi! <3

Ugh this is such a hard question. I think, in some ways, you're all and none of these things. Like all of these things are little parts of you, but you're a lot more than just those little parts. I also think people spends their whole life finding themselves. It's not something you can check off a list, you know? It's a constant thing. But I think figuring yourself out is mostly giving yourself the space and freedom and acceptance to do that. Like...loving yourself enough to find yourself. I hope that makes sense?

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midnights anon

Hello Cas!

I’m sorry for all the asks. I’ve sent in many and I know you said it’s alright, but I still want to double check that it’s okay to be sending in asks many as I have?

I don’t want to treat your inbox as a void to ramble/shout/vent in, it feels like I’m being rude. It’s hard to not feel guilty about it, and I know you’ve said it’s okay,

I just can’t make myself feel that, I guess. I just really want to apologize

You’re a great listener. Thank you for helping so many people

-midnights anon

Hi!

Yes, I promise, you're welcome to send as many asks as you want <3 I think the reason this works for me is because I can answer in my own time, you know? If I don't have the bandwidth to listen, I just wait until the next day, or I wait a few hours. That's why I tell everyone to keep advice asks to my inbox- I can choose when I answer.

I really don't find it ruse at all, and you are more than welcome to treat my inbox as a void to yell into- people need that and I don't mind being that <3 by thing has always been, as long as people don't mind waiting for a response, I love responding to people.

But yeah, no apologies necessary, I promise!

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6 anon

Hi <3 how are you?

Honestly, it sounds like your friend has a lot going on and might be bit toxic. Is it possible to take some space from her? Though it sounds like she might needs some love right now, if she's treating you this way, you might not be the one to give that to her...she's not being a very good friend to you, you know?

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weird feeling anon

weird feeling anon we're together!!! it has been so wonderful and i'm glad i went for it. we've been slowly telling people and most people never even questioned the change but everyone who did didn't care!!

comforting friend anon

Heyy this is comforting friend anon. So i kinda forgot to actually send a response before now, but here it is

Yes, a lot of people (including her mom) know about my friend’s food issues. I haven’t seen her lately because of summer, so idk how she is right now. Although, a few days ago she texted me that she hated her meds and is scared of her dog now. so, um. not food related, but definitely concerning.

Also, today i was running with my dad to get in shape for cross country season, and i complained about my thighs itching from rubbing together while i was running. his response, of course, was “well, once youre in shape and shed some of those sitting-on-the-couch pounds, that shouldnt be an issue.” So like. wow, dad. great thing to say to your teenage daughter. and thats…. not exactly how that works but okay

Hi!

I'm so glad your friend's mom knows. It should never be on just friends to care for friends.

You dad, though....ugh, it worries me how little men know about bodies.

Thigh gaps are HEREDITARY. Even a VERY underweight person can have struggles with their thighs rubbing together because it has to do with the size of your pelvis and the way your legs line up. It has NOTHING to do with weight.

Have you tried biker shorts? Those regularly save my life! Or, I know places sell stuff similar to deodorant just for this problem.

I'm glad you at least know your dad is being silly....also I'm sorry about the chafing, it's such a bitch.

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understand myself anon

hiii I wanted to ask you, do you have any advice for nonbinary people who are still trying to figure out their gender identity? like I was confident about my identity until a year ago when I started to consider going by she/they. I only recently started making that transition, and I'm really scared because I still look quite feminine, and I almost feel like I don't have the right to say I'm nonbinary because of this. I know I'm still young but it's like I'm feeling a hurry to understand myself :( anywayss hope you have a great day<333

Hi!

I totally understand this feeling, like SO much. When I first started socially transitioning, I felt so much pressure to not be feminine, because I'm AFAB and I wanted to make sure I 'looked' nonbinary.

But the thing is, I realized there's no ONE way to look nonbinary. You have every right to identify as nonbinary, no matter how you look, act, what pronouns you use, etc!

I know you feel in a rush to understand, but I really think it takes a lot of time and like...experimenting with your style and expression to see what feels good to you. It took me like 2-3 years. But now I'm just like...idgaf if someone thinks I LOOK enby. I AM, and that's what matters. And you'll get there, too <3

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four years anon

Hey cas! I saw that you had like an ask you for advice thing and wanted to ask about a situation in. I’ve been dating my significant other for four years- long story, since we’re both still in school, but seventh grade me had decided I no longer wanted to hide my crush and we’ve been together since. We were super good friends beforehand, which is relevant. Recently, my partner told me that they thought they might be on the aromantic spectrum, and I’ve been trying to be as supportive as I can. However, the person has said that they might not want to be together anymore since they don’t really like romance at all anymore. And I understand that, truly, because I’ve gone through similar feelings in the relationship- I thought I was ace, tried to make myself not ace, and failed- and they were super supportive. And if they don’t want to date anymore, that’s fine. But how do I deal with that? We’ve been best friends since we were eight, and I don’t want that to change since we’ve kissed and now we’re back to being friends? My friend group is made up of their friends and my friends as well, and I don’t want to lose any friends over this. Sorry this is so long, there’s just a lot to unpack. But basically, how should I go about this? They say they want to break up, and I said if that’s what you want, but then they still act like we’re together which is just a lot for me to try and process. It’s a complicated situation, and I cant ask friends or family about it. Sorry! Have a great day, and thanks for the (potential) future advice. (Only if you’d like to give it, of course.)

Hi!

This is a tough situation and I think the first thing to do is acknowledge that. But after that, I think you and you (ex)partner need to do a LOT of communicating.

First, you need to make it clear that both of you need to work hard to not put your friends in the middle of this. Tell them that you don't want to lose them or your friends, and you're dedicated to all of those relationships, so you really want to communicate. Ask them for that same commitment.

Then, you BOTH need to decide how friendship looks different to a relationship. It seems like they don't see much of a difference, but to you, you may need to set some healthy boundaries. Gently and calm tell them what you don't want to do anymore (kissing? holding hands? late night talks? cuddling? all/none of the above?) if you're just friends, and ask them what THEY don't want to do. Friends have calm, respectful conversations, and you need to have one.

Next, talk about what it'll look like when a future relationship happens. How will you respect each other's future partners? What does that look like?

And last (and most important) respect their boundaries and enforce yours. Friendship after dating tends to not work when boundaries are crossed, so do your best to make sure that doesn't happen, you know?

It sounds like you guys already have good communication, so hopefully this will be...well, it won't be easy, but it won't be awful and full of drama. I know this is difficult and probably painful and that's OKAY! It's okay to mourn the relationship you had, and it's okay to take a bit of space, too. Just remember to be respectful and honest <3

Sending love!

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6 anon

Hi <3

I am so unbelievably sorry for what you've gone through.

You deserved NONE of that, and I hope you know that your body is YOURS. Only yours, and nobody should be doing those things. I think we've talked before about going to adults, and you've said you don't have many trusted adults, but if you have someone to talk to, PLEASE tell them.

You deserve to feel safe in your own body.

It breaks my heart that you've been through all of this, and I know you know I'm thinking of you and sending you love. I wish I could do more to help. My inbox is open <3

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woes anon

Hi <3

You're not the problem, hon. I know that feeling, and I've felt that feeling SO much, but it's not you.

Please don't give up on making connections, either. I promise you, there're good people in the world...there are just shit people, too. You have to sift through the shit people to find the good ones, unfortunately <3

Outlet anon

Hi!!

Oh my God, Hercules has it out for you, huh? I actually used to ride when I was young, but the worst that happened to me was getting my foot stepped on once. I mean if you think your finger is dislocated, I'm not a doctor, but maybe you should get it looked at?

As far as the other thing...please don't punish yourself for an accident. If someone accidentally hurt you, would you want them to punish themselves? Most horses (maybe not Hercules lol) are kind and gentle and don't want people to hurt. If you accidentally hurt a horse again and you feel guilty, what if you make up for it by giving them an extra-thorough grooming or some treats they like? Two wrongs don't make a right, you know?

I'm glad you've been taking better care of yourself, though. I hope you did well on your exam!

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Tempted anon

congratulations my dear! That's amazing, I'm so proud of you!

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@teasiswriter

Hello! My declamation contest thing is going well! I’m halfway finished with memorizing Sappho fragment 31 for the contest! I’m excited! And terrified? I love performing but it makes me want to vomit???? A theater kid with stage fright?? How ironic lol

Anyways thank you for letting me ramble!!!

Oh I think most performers get nervous! It'd be weird if you didn't! I used to perform a lot and I got nervous every time <3 As long as you don't let it stop you, that's what's important! I know you'll do amazing!

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6 anon

That's....so frustrating. And with not being in in-person school, you can't tell a teacher, either. What about a friend/your girlfriend's parents? Would they be willing to help you get help or address the issues with your uncle? Or do you think that'd make it worse?

I hope you at least get to talk with your girlfriend online or on the phone?

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family dynamics anon

Hii casyy Family dynamics anon

Since me and my cousins are always in the middle of exams my family never get together for iftar we always meet up on eid and since my aunt (my mum's younger sister) is always the one hosting and she and my uncle her husband hate his guts so he's not invited so they've never been able to ruin eid for me cuz even when they were fighting on eid half the time it never stopped me from having a good time

Amd about my mum I understand that this is an abusive relationship and my mum is a victim but she is not like other victims who have no resources to get out my mother makes over 6 figures the lease is in her name and she's the one who pays the rent buys us everything and the one to pay for our private school she could literally just throw his clothes in his car lock the door and he won't be able to do shit cuz that's all he owns she has more resources then any other victim and I feel like that's what makes me angry

A week ago me and my sis sat her down and told mum to just try to ignore him if he tries to start any fights cuz we had exams and we just wanted to study in peace and I think he thought that she got over the shit she saw cuz he literally started talking with one of his mistress's with the phone on full volume and my mum went to fight with him (as she should cuz wtf) he told her that she was helping him with a problem his brother got himself into at 12 am this man is seriously a lost cause lol

I'm so glad to hear Eid is a happy and safe time for you!

6 anon

Hi hon <3

I'm so sorry things are so bad for you right now. I have to say, with the things you're telling me, it really sounds like you need some help. You deserve to feel good about yourself and your body. What do you think would happen if you were truthful with your mom about the questions she asked?

Also, with your uncle- that's NOT okay. Have you told an adult?

Remember that the 'other people have it worse' mindset isn't a good one. Your feelings are valid and you deserve love and respect and to feel good in your skin.

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aeylia anon

Hey Cas! I hope you're having a good day<3

For the last few months queer topics have occasionally come up when I'm talking to my dad and he's said some stuff that is borderline homo/transphobic and only in the last 2 weeks have I actually told him this.

Everytime I bring it up he gets incredibly defensive and says stuff like 'how would you even know' and it's really hard because he still says he's not homophobic and thinks he's right.

Today I was telling him something that happened at school with a bi kid and he was advocating for them and it really pissed me off that he would be so supportive (which is good don't get me wrong) but also say stuff like there shouldn't be so many genders, like a few is enough. AHSHSHSHHHA

It doesn't even effect you as a cis straight white middle class man so why the fuck do you even care.

He also said something in another argument along the lines of, why would I even bother learning about it, and this made me so mad.

Has he even considered that maybe his own daughter is probably gay???

Thanks for reading I just don't know what to do (he's also anti trump thankfully even though we don't live us the us)

-Aeylia

Ugh this is so frustrating. Honestly, next time he says something like this, try countering with logical questions. Like if he asks why there are so many genders, ask him why it matters? I think people tend to get angry when presented with a counterargument, but when they're given a question that counters their thoughts, it makes them think a bit more.

Also, I love your name! It's gorgeous!

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sustainable anon

i wish I never got that stupid gf everyone hated. i wish I would've spent more time with someone else when I had time. i wish our friendship never went to the dogs like that. i wish we were in the same class again. i wish we had the tuitions again. i wish the friend group never split up. i wish everyone got along with everyone. i wish she didn't resent me. i wish I didn't resent her. i wish that we still told eachother every little secret we had. i wish our friendship was healthy. i wish it was sustainable.i wish nothing changed. i wish we stayed best friends forever. i wish I was never jealous of the other best friend. i wish I preserved our friendship before it became this. i wish I had her back.

i miss my bsf. but she's not my bsf anymore. and she might never be. the current versions of us don't match.

Hi <3

I definitely understand the feeling of having big regrets like this. And unfortunately, sometimes you have to live with these regrets. But remember that you'll have other friendships and now you know to make different decisions in the future. I've been in this same spot- a past relationship I had REALLY affected my friendships, and I regret it still to this day. But I've rebuilt, and I have other friends now, and I know now what NOT to do.

I promise it'll get better <3

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google anon

hey cas, I hope this isn't awkward or uncomfortable

I wanred to know if you have any expiriance with antidepressants and stuff like that? Every place i googled said a diffrent thing and idk. Im afaraid for some of the side affects and how do i even explain or tell my parants i think i need them or smt to that affect, how do i tell them i know im depressed and suffer from anxiety for over 2 years at the very least? Its not my mumss fault and im also afraide to tell her bc she might think its her foult or smt when its not

i dont know why im like this

i dont to be like this

but i am

Hi!

So, I'm an advocate for antidepressants in general. I take them, they really help me, and I think if people need them, they should take them and not feel weird about it.

That being said, that's def a decision that would be made with a doctor. I'm not a professional lol. Depending on if you take anything else, preexisting conditions, etc, they may or may not be okay for you.

Yeah, some have side effects. Not usually anything major. And sometimes you have to try more than one to see an effect. But imo, if you think you have a problem, they're worth a try (if your doctor recommends them). Why go through life struggling when there's something you can try? Just remember that antidepressants aren't usually a magic cure. A doctor would explain better than me but basically depression is bc your brain can't make happy hormones, right? And the meds help you do that? But also therapy can help you address the things that make you sad, and develop coping mechanisms for when you're sad.

I hope this helps a bit!

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regular anon

- your regular anon -

Staring anon

Heyyy-

So i- have a little problem. I have a mental health issue I do not want to share, but shortly it causes me to zone out a lot. Like in the middle of Convo, my eyes see something I find interesting and land on that thing and stay fixed at it, and I don't hear anything . Anyway,

.. so I live in a white county, not as race, we are not white, but our skin tone is fair. And we have so few black people here. And I am an artist.

Now that is, when I see someone with slightly different than I am used to (black skin, red hair, neon hair, lots of tattoos etc-) I find myself staring. Not because I hate them but like, a moment I am just, 'wow I don't know how to shade that colour, maybe I should add blue it reflect likes that' and a second later I forget thinking and I stay zoomed. Like I was just looking at shades of their skin and a few minutes I find myself not thinking, not hearing and all,

And I have a really bitchy resting face and I try to change it but I can't I tried too many times and I am gonna cry it's not the first time I stared at someone without intending to and I feel so bad like I am not racist or anything I am just admiring really but it's too hard and it happens with objects too if I see a book I like I stare it for 5 minutes straight.

How can you tell someone you are talking, 'like no I didn't want to, I adore our conversation really I just saw a butterfly'

I hate myself I am sorry

Hi!

Okay so I totally get where you're coming from here...I definitely have had a similar problem- for me I hate eye contact so I look down, but then I realize after a while I'm like...blatantly staring at their chest and that's weird.

I think there's kind of two options here and you have to pick and choose depending on the person. If it's someone you know, I'd just address it. I joke with people all the time- sorry, I'm not staring at your tits, I just don't know where to look! They laugh and they get it and we move on.

But people I don't know...I try to give myself something to look at that isn't uncomfortable. Which, I know isn't fun for you and it's hard to do that, but it might help you in those situations. If you find someone interesting from an art perspective, maybe focus on their hair or their bag- something that's more socially acceptable to stare at. Even compliment that thing, that way they know why you're staring. Then you can stare more at people you're closer with who understand where you're coming from.

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Midnights anon

Hi cas! It’s midnights anon

Uhm… I’m kinda at a school dance? It’s full of dancing and candy and I got overstimulated immediately, onto of a whole school day, on top of hanging out with friends in between. I wanted to be normal. I wanted to go out and have fun but whenever there’s a dance I know I can’t dance, and I love my friends… but I always feel Ike I’m trying so hard to keep conversations or just be like able. It’s harder in BIG social situations. Maybe it’s because of what I am? I guess it’s harder to have sympathy for an anxious tall black girl than an anxious shorter not black girl. It’s just… everyone’s so supportive of each other. Why am I so left out? I danced… I stuck near my friends… I tried to talk… tried to make conversation… but I just floated away.

I’m trying so hard lol. I’m trying and I’m always talking because no one will try for me. Or try as hard.

I don’t know why I’m writing this. I’m just scared. Am I really unlikeable? I just want to know what I’m doing wrong.

What am I doing wrong? What part of me is incorrect that people don’t like? It’s been years of being the odd one out. I’m just incorrect. But I don’t know what part. I’m hiding so much of myself that I don’t even know who I am or what it means to be a person.

If I just knew what part of me everybody disliked I’d fix it but no one will tell me.

I’m sorry for writing this. I have to be here for another hour and I dont want to feel as alone.

Thank you for reading :]

I’m sorry

Hi <3

Please don't be sorry for writing! I totally understand feeling overwhelmed in Big social situations! It can be super scary!

Remember that you can make your own rules. You can decide to only stay for a bit, or to take breaks. There's nothing wrong with going to the bathroom for a bit and taking a few deep breaths. There also nothing wrong with simply not going, if you don't feel up for it.

Also, there's nothing wrong with YOU. I know you feel like that now, but I promise, the problem is that right now, everyone is trying to fit into the same stupid mold that really, nobody fits in. And people are just good at pretending that they fit. But as you get older, people will stop pretending, and it will get easier. I promise <3

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wuhluhwuh anon

Hi this is lowkey a vent but I need to get this out but oh my goodness I have a crush on my friend yes, I am wuh luh wuh, yes I was warned that this is a canon event cause I’ve yet to have an original idea. but eeeevry single day I’ve been getting videos sent to me being like “this is so us🥰🥰🥰” and I’ll think oh this is cute and check the comments and the description AND ITLL BE SIBLING CORE 😃. like ten a day with two characters and tags all over it saying that they’re so sibling core and it’s lowkey testing my patience. I’ve accepted at this point that she dosent like me back which is fine I don’t get to throw a fit over that I kinda just have to get over it but now I don’t know what to do :| I’ve definitely thought about it too much and came up with the idea that this is her way of subtly telling me that she dosent like me back WHICH I GOT LIKE 50 VIDOES AGO 😭😭😭. then I remembered that’s she almost as dense as I am and sucks at subtext so I would have gotten a paragraph telling me to go live under a bridge or something. And it’s so god dam confusing because she’ll be acting like a couple some days but then do a full 180!!! Anyway not to be dramatic but the last couple weeks have just been multiple bullet wounds to the heart but it’s probably fine I think. Idk Cas I’ve been telling myself it’s character development or that I’m being over dramatic (cause I am I’m aware) but like damn still it’s been bouncing around in my head and I can’t rlly tell anyone sooooooo

Anyway that k u for the space for me to be an idiot in peace have a great day <3

Hi <3

Okay so...based on the 'siblings' videos, I'm gonna guess that she doesn't feel the same way. Like if they say 'siblings' on them...yeah. It's probably that she just feels very close to you and that's why she's so affectionate. But I don't necessarily think she knows how you feel, I think she's probably just, again, showing her affection by sending the videos.

But there's also nothing wrong with you having feelings. It sounds like you just might need to accept that, unfortunately, they are probably not returned </3 I'm sorry, hon.

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6 anon

6 anon here, so on Wednesday after school, I was with my girlfriend in her dad's classroom. He asked me to keep her company because he had a meeting. So her and I are packing up the shop, turning off the machine, power, etc. When we finished that, we were laying on the floor in the classroom because it was floor time. Anyways, her dad forgot to tell Dee that I was supposed to be in there with her. Her and I were on the floor watching ratatouille and making out. This is normal for us, but Dee never works afternoons and doesn't know that, so she walked in on us making out on the floor with ratatouille in the background. I got kicked out, and she slammed the door. She also told my grandma and grandpa because they're friends. They have now cut contact with me. I also can't get in for my EEG until March 6th which fucking sucks because I've been having seizures since January and they won't put me on any meds for them, and now they aren't doing shit about my stomach. I hate the American health care system so much. Anyways, I hope you have/had a great day-6 anon

....Your grandma and grandpa cut contact with you because you have a girlfriend? That's so fucking horrible, I'm so sorry. Are they your mom's parents or your dad's parents? (just curious).

Also yeah, the american healthcare system sucks...

I'm sorry things are sucking so much for you right now. I'm always here to vent to <3

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galentines anon

Hi, i just needed to express my rage.

My dad has always made sure i was educated hell i knew more about the heart at the age of 7 than most people know at 20.

The thing is women rights was never a topic discussed in my family. My mom scolded me the day i got my first period because apparently 11 is too young and now my height won't grow. Tf.

Everytime i argue about women rights especially when they're watching a show which depicts that, both of them are like enjoy the show stop thinking about it. And then the next day Mamma is saying how my dad's side of the family treated her so bad. I try to sympathize i really do but when i try to defend women you tell me to stfu what is wrong you.

There is still so much internalized misogyny in my family.

Mom is against the fact that galentines can be celebrated. Against people wearing makeup.

My grandmother (dads side) doesnt allow women to go in the kitchen on their period. My grandfather ( dads side) wont allow their DIL's or his wife to wear shirts only the traditional clothing.

GAHH and i cant say much because im the example child. the eldest daughter, perfect babysitter, always so understanding, never shouts is good at almost everything she does. i never get calls just for the sake of it no those calls are for my brother i get calls when i get awards.

Love isnt unconditional over here. gotta earn it by obeying every single fucking rule ever.

I cant wait to get out.

Sorry for the rant.

Hope you have a good day.

Hi <3

Who was anon

Hi! I don't know if you remember (I don't remember exactly when and I didn't bother to go looking) but I'm the one that sent the story about my little siblings reading Harry Potter and asking me about the marauders?

Anyway follow up story

I took my younger brother to a used book store and they have those kids biographies? Called "who was..." and then there's different names? Well he doesn't really... know all the stuff about jkr? Just cause he's young and honestly my parents aren't into Harry Potter so I don't think they know anything about that. Anyway he was like Look! They have the Harry Potter lady! And I was like ehhhhh how bout no and helped him find someone else.

I guess that's not very funny now that I've written it down but at the time it made me giggle. Idk

Hahahaha no that makes me laugh too. Like "Uhhhhh how about not?"

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6 anon

The best way to eat grapes is frozen and I stand by that.

Anyways I started a new book yesterday. It's called Hell Followed With Us by Andrew Joseph White. It's so good and the cover art is amazing!!

And MIFA states are in 2 days!! I am very excited, and I have a concert tonight and I'm first chair!!

Life is going pretty well right now, so enjoy some grapes 🍇 (they are frozen)-6 anon

OMG my wife eats frozen grapes too!

Good luck at states...if my math is right, I think they're today! I hope it's going amazing!!! Let me know!

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Tired Anon

Hi Cas, tired anon here, it's definitely been a rough few weeks 😅 to answer one of your questions, I haven't ever been in a situation where I need to confront my mom so I have no idea if she'd be receptive. I've argued back (mildly, and very very quietly) on some occasions and she just gets defensive and doubles down on whatever reason she has, or she just resorts to "well because I pay the mortgage" which I don't think is a very valid argument. In either case, I spoke to my step sister about all of this and we had a very long heart-to-heart for about 2 hours where I realized a lot about my mother that I'm not really sure I wanted to know lol. She also gave me the perspective that if I started arguing back or defending them, it would put my mom in a worse mood and would end up making everyone's lives worse, which I completely agree with. As it turns out, the insurance we have now actually DOES cover therapy (yay!), so I'm going to look into it. As of right now, I'm fine, I'm just pretending like everything is normal and spending a lot more time out of the house than I used to, and I'm trying to get in to working out as a sort of outlet until everything fixes itself 😮‍💨

Hi <3 I'm so sorry you've had to realize some things about your mom. I feel like that happens to so many people and it's the absolute worst feeling to realize your parents aren't the people you wish they could be. I'm sending you so much love as you try to process that.

I'm glad you can look into therapy! I hope you're able to find someone helpful! Keep me updated if you want <3

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Lost anon

HI

this is Lost Anon, it’s been a minute. I just wanted to give you some updates.

My teacher ended up taking the assignment, I got full marks and finished the semester with an A.

I worked things out with my friends, we’re doing a lot better on communication stuff now.

I’m doing generally better too, I feel way less stressed than I did previously and I’m over all doing pretty great.

I hope you had a wonderful new year, and I wish you many many good days.

-Lost Anon

Ahhh I'm so glad things are better! That makes me so happy to hear! I'm wishing you a wonderful year as well, but if you ever need anything, you know where to find me!

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Spikes Anon

hi so I have a problem.

I have a large friend group, right, and all of us are pretty comfortable with each other so we're fine hugging, touching, we even kiss each other's cheeks like we're great.

problem is for me specifically, I don't mind physical touch but there's a limit, like when one person is constantly without permission touching me then it pisses me off and makes me feel all weird and scratchy inside like I want to jump out of my skin it's terrible and I hate it.

so lately, one of my friends has become extremely touchy, putting their hands on my face, hugging me randomly, holding my arm, pulling me towards them, and their hands are cold and it makes it worse because I hate cold hands on me it's just...ugh, you know

but there's no way to tell them that without hurting them because they're really sensitive, and I don't wanna do tat but also I can't take it anymore, I have to keep making excuses to pull away and I'm genuinely seconds away from slapping them across the face because I can't control it it just spikes this unnatural irritating feeling and it's painful, and I get mad and I don't wanna hurt their feelings but I can't not say anything. I'm scared if I tell any of my other friends they'll say I'm being mean and dramatic and get mad at me bc they won't understand

so yeah if you have any advice that's be really helpful

Hi <3

I definitely understand where you're coming from on this one. Here's the thing: if you don't say something, it definitely could turn out bad. Because you could get overwhelmed and say something in the moment that actually is hurtful, you know? Not saying you want to be hurtful, but I know when I get overwhelmed I can sometimes say hurtful things I don't mean.

You have a right to set boundaries. So you need to sit this friend down alone and calmly explain that sometimes you get overwhelmed and it has NOTHING to do with them, but sometimes you need space and you're going to ask for it. You can say you care and you love hugging them most of the time, but occasionally you need space.

You can be gentle but firm and then- and this is important- if the friend does get sad, just repeat that its not them and it has nothign to do with how you feel about them, but youre not changing your mind.

Setting boundaries isn't mean and you should never feel guilty for doing that. Also, it's good to start getting in the habit of doing this now because, god forbid if someone in the future is trying to do something more inappropriate that you don't like, you'll know how to firmly say no.

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Mocks anon

hey it's mocks anon

I have a maths assessment tomorrow. It's basically going to be judging what level of exam I take the week after and if I don't get the highest mark, my parents are going to freak

and I'm scared, I don't know what to do I've studied but I'm not good at maths and I always get stressed and mess up even if I know what I'm meant to do

and the thing is, whenever I know I have something stressful coming up, this weird feeling comes up in my chest. like I have a black hole of sorrow, fear, hopelessness, burnout, and pure genuine stress stuck there. and it doesn't go away; idk how to describe it but I just have this ugly terrifying feeling and I hate it so much but I can't do anything about it. It starts up even a month before the event and stays for a long time after even if it was successful, like it's indefinite and very, very problematic because it makes me focus less, and i have it right now and it hurts

anyway sorry for ranting, I'm just scared and tired and I don't even know.

Hi <3

I hope the exam went okay! Remember that no matter what your parents say, you are worth more than one exam score.

It sounds like you get really anxious when it comes to things like these. Are you able to seek out therapy to maybe work on some coping strategies when you feel like this? I know this feeling can be like....so overwhelming it can be almost debilitating and you deserve to be able to be happy, even during stressful times!

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Parrot Anon

Hi <3

I just want to say that the comments people are making about your eating are super inappropriate and mean, and you absolutely have a right to be upset about them. Also...like who wouldn't have a strained relationship with food after all of that?

Honestly, as someone who has struggled with food their entire life, I think it's REALLY hard to deal with it alone. I think it's the type of thing you need therapy for. I'd suggest, if you can, looking for a therapist who specializes in EDs. Not because I think you have an ED, but because other untrained therapists might accidentally say something triggering.

Having a healthy relationship with food is a psychological thing imo, so you have to go at it from that perspective.

Sending love!

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Segment anon

Hi!

Wow, this is definitely eerie. "Living waterfall" really got me. I would just add some details about how the narrator is physically feeling. Like do they feel cold? Have goosebumps? Etc.

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Perchance Anon

Hi it’s perchance anon. (That’s so crazy that I’ve got a name!) So I’ve been thinking it over and maybe I’m somewhere under the non-binary umbrella. I’m really having a hard time finding anything to read online that could be helpful at all. It weird because it’s not that I hate being a girl, it’s great most of the time, but there are definitely times where I find myself wishing I could not be a woman? Even during normal situations where there’s not some ‘downside’ of being a woman going on. Like I’m thinking about it and most of the time I don’t think of myself as a woman, like sure I am but like I wouldn’t care if someone saw me as something else either? Idk if that’s just me being secure in myself or if this is something. I’m not really sure and I know you probably have just as much clue as what’s going on in my as I do but if there’s any resources you could point me to that might help me figure this out that would be so helpful. Thank you!

Hi!

6 anon

We made it to states on a wild card placement, and the chances of that were like 2 percent! TWO, and we got it!!! I am very happy. I got 2 superior awards and 1 excellence award. However the downside is that it's in Detroit, but it's ok because my best friends are going to watch so yippeeee

OMG that's amazing, I'm so excited for you!!! Please keep me updated and tell me how it goes!

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Three Hearts Anon

So if I'm understanding correctly, you can't go to therapy because of something your aunt did? I mean I don't know the whole situation but...I don't think you should sacrifice your mental health to protect her. Like...you're the kid in this situation, you know? You deserve to get help.

Also I promise you that everyone you love does not hate you. I have definitely felt like that before and I get how it feels all-consuming, but there are people who care aboutyou, I swear <3

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Angry Anon

Hello, Cas! Angry anon here lol

I want to say THANK YOU for taking the time to reply!! It helped me quite a bit to calm down.

I started writing fanfics for the first time and also made some art that people liked even tho they were pretty messy :D It helped me vent A LOT. I could even talk about stuff that could potentially trigger other people but in fanfics they're just there (like eating habits).

I feel guilty talking about stuff with friends. I think I weight them down and they already have their own problems to deal with, I hate being another one of those.

My situation still kinda sucks but for the first time in like two weeks they actually let me sleep for six hours three days in a row ayy, I think that's improvement (?)! I think one of the reasons I was so upset was them not letting me rest at all, it's different if someone stays up so late and wake up in the middle of the night and has to go places early morning because they just do but was kinda frustrating that I needed to do that because they didn't give me any other choice.

Anyway, I also tried the paper crumpling, didn't really work for me and there's no rage rooms nearby but I put googly eyes on my phone and that somehow worked?? Idk

I might vent here occasionally (you're free to ignore it if you feel like it) but yeah, thanks

Hi! I'm so proud of you for finding ways to cope! Writing and drawing are amazing ways, and though I've never tried putting googly eyes on my phone- if it works and it doesn;t hurt anyone I'm all for it! I'm also really glad you've gotten some sleep <3 Keep it up with the healthy coping!

Also yes, you are always allowed to vent here <3

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Unnamed Anon

Hey cas

I'm not gonna use my anon name cause I feel kinda bad about this but.

Backstory- I think I might be bi? But I live in a very religious very homophobic community and I'm not interested in dating yet ( Honestly im super confused) so I'm not out. And I probably won't be. Which is. A whole other thing.

But. This girl (I'm a girl) I've had a crush on for the longest time. I think she's straight. Anyway I really like her. And like... romantically, platonically, however she'll have me, pathetic I know but she's amazing. I applied to the college she's going to just... because of her. Which no one knows. But anyway.

She was dating this guy. I never met him. I only knew in passing. And she apparently just broke up with him. And like, secretly I'm a little happy. Which I feel terrible about! But she's handling it okay, not heartbroken, and it means she has more time for me (it's not like she'd date me now, she's just not doing boyfriend stuff) So idk. I just feel confused and yucky.

Side note, it means she probably doesn't have a prom date? She'll probably get one cause she's super pretty and amazing and everything but like... idk. The delusion lives on.

Even if she wasn't straight and I was out, she's kinda out of my league. I think I'll never forget her tho.

Thanks for being you

Hi <3 I think it's absolutely okay and natural to feel confused about all this, especially with your upbringing. But please know that none of what you're feeling is wrong or bad- even the mixed feelings about your crush's breakup!

Honestly, I think we've all felt like that before- a bit happy (and a bit guilty for feeling happy) when something like this happens. It's not like you're celebrating over a tragedy like a death or a fire or anything like that. You're not even outwardly celebrating! If it was one of those things, then I might say you should feel guilty. But you're not, so please don't beat yourself up. If it makes you feel any better, once I asked a guy out like four hours after he broke up with his girlfriend bc I was so excited he was single...it happens.