#iwtv#interview with the vampire#amc tvl#sam reid#jacob anderson
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Day [507]:
마지막까지도 할수없는말.. 사랑해. Show no attraction.
She loves, but it is not the same anymore. Just that old buddy love haha. Guess it is my duty as a best friend to show no other intentions and to keep her happy. Anything that is best for my dear friend.
She just feels different, thats all.
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Day (117):
[이즘이면 보일까? 내 진심이.]
First time on a ferris wheel together. Finally some alone time with you after like hours of being with the couple and kids haha.
It was so relaxing. Yet, kind of nervous. Thought of officially asking you out for the first time. Officially as in, our friendship may get awkward and more shaky, leading to just aquaintance.
But I did not bring it up this time. I already told you before, if time comes, let me know. I also wanted to just enjoy your presence. Did not want to jepardise our friendship at that moment.
It was also the first day I think my feelings for you may have been caught by Jeenie in some way. It was the first day I really understood how much we are hiding our feelings from others.
None the less, I was very happy that you were next to me.
(Petaluma Fair)
Day [502]:
I miss you so much..
Nothing is the same without you. It’s so awkward not even being able to text you or even say a word. How are you doing? Are you hanging? We always say let’s try not to meet anymore, but ended up missing each other… This time is so different, I hope it truly is the best for you.
Wish there is a group setting soon. Just being able to see you for even a split second means so much to me now.
[Trying hard to not get my daily activities so affected. Not much progress yet. Hopefully I can get up and work harder soon. ^^ I miss you..haha]
Day (5):
Finally got to have a small talk and alone time (kind of) with you. It was only about a hundred steps all together that day, but those steps sparked a greater interest in you for me. (G.A)
Day [501]:
I love your giggle haha So cute. (sc with gram) Happy thanksgiving.
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Day (1):
You were dressed nice and looked mature.
I kept watching you and your sister while the whole meeting was going on. Watched how Pelly was and imagined what it would be like to have her as my bro’s gf. Honestly, she seemed more out going. Kinda saw the confidence in herself, wasn’t really sure if she would match with TDong. Then back to you.
All i had in mind was preparing myself as a counselor for my future camp ground kids.
But as i ate, my eyes kept going back to you. Nothing much in mind, just observing you. Felt as though you would be someone i could be friend and get to know. All i had in mind was preparing myself to prepare myself spiritually.
Then i left the table to sit with my old friends.
Day (500):
'Being in love with someone versus loving someone' There is a lot in between us and i wanted to fix as much as a could. "It felt like all those times, you were trying to make me like you.." Now to think about it, it is so true.. I just could not let go of the fact that you need to be let go of so that you may figure out on your own. I tried to fix as much as i could, the past months and days as far as i could rememeber. I think that is what i am realizing, i was too focused in trying to fix things and work things out instead of letting thing workout on its own. So focused on how to make things right, slowly focusing on how to stay in love in contrast of being in love. It is easy to be in love, and also so easy to lose track of that love truly means. We often begin to love that person, then we sway and begin to demand that person's love for us. "Why didn't you just let me go the first time??" All those times i felt as though i would never ever get you back if i let you go.. But whatever the fact is, today i understood, you want it. You really need it. Finally i am letting go. And i am on a journey of learning from my past and mistakes. I know i need the time as well, the reason why i could not let go was because i was being selfish and did not want to lose you. I love you☺️💚
