#4.12.19

Me estoy arriesgando a esconderme nuevamente,

Pero tengo miedo, miedo de éste torbellino,

Que no me deja en paz, que me dice calmadamente que todo lo que haga tendrá consecuencias...

Y no de las buenas

Non so se avete un ricordo della vostra infanzia così nitido da sembrare parte della pellicola di un film che non vedete da tanto. 

Io ce l'ho, e spesso mi torna in mente, fulmineo, e senza una ragione ben precisa.

Ci sono io, c'è mia madre, c'è una sedia e c'è una cucina; nello specifico ci sono io, in braccio a mia madre, seduta su una sedia in ferro e pelle, nella vecchia cucina della casa dei miei nonni materni.

C'è il sole: filtra dalla finestra alla mia sinistra e dal portone esterno, quello con le sbarre color ruggine e il vetro verde tutto linee e ghirigori.

Io, mamma e i nonni abbiamo già finito di pranzare. Mamma ha anche bevuto il caffè. Adesso mi tiene in braccio, come dicevo. Io sono seduta a cavalcioni sulle sue gambe e mi aggrappo al suo collo per darle un abbraccio da bimba felice.

Le chiedo se oggi può restare a casa.

Lei mi prende una ciocca di capelli e me la nasconde dietro l'orecchio. Abbozza un sorriso e mi dice di no.

Allora metto il broncio. La supplico di rimanere con me: «Ti prego, non andare al lavoro. Ti prego mamma, ti prego».

Mamma scuote la testa: «Devo».

Ha la malinconia dipinta sul volto. Un imperativo con sottotesto: «Lo faccio per te».

Quella fu la prima volta che incontrai la tristezza. La volta in cui imparai a non insistere. La volta in cui decisi di misurare tutte le mie parole, di selezionarle con cura per non ferire chi avevo di fronte.

Vedo mia madre prendermi come una bambola e mettermi giù. Alzarsi dalla sedia, prendere la borsa, le chiavi. Uscire di casa. Ricordo chiaramente il suono netto, definitivo, stridente emesso dalla serratura chiusa dietro le sue spalle. Rimbomba nella mia testa, come l'accordo di una canzone famosa, anche dopo più quindici anni.

Il silenzio sopraggiunto un attimo più tardi, il petto stretto fino a implodere, la sensazione di gelo trasmessa dal pavimento alle natiche su cui mi ero letteralmente abbattuta...

Fu la prima volta che mi sentì impotente, delusa, sola. La prima volta che strinsi denti e pugni, che trattenni lacrime e grida, che non straparlai.

Now I want an excuse to watch the movie tomorrow, so I actually went and watched episode 33 as well. Plus I’m gonna watch episodes 34 and 35 today, which I’ll talk about in this post, but like I literally just finished 33 so I can’t talk about those future episodes yet. Anyway, episode 33 was great! It’s a school trip to the ice skating arena, and as someone who’s not done ice skating in 5 years, I love that sport, and seeing all the characters just skate around is really fun. Sakura’s pretty bad at it to start which surprised me, most rollerskating and ice skating performances I’ve seen look more or less the same to me, such that I thought skill in one would easily translate to skill in another, but I guess not. Sakura does quickly learn though and that’s fun. The OP’s actually used as an insert song for all the skating around which wasn’t exactly necessary but tbf the OP’s great so I was happy either way. Our Clow Card is the Freeze card, which ends up freezing literally everyone in the arena outside of Sakura, Syaoran and Mizuki, though she just hides to let the kids deal with it. And the ensuing fight is fucking awesome, by far one of my favourite action scenes in this whole show so far. Because like the Freeze card is this giant fish monster thing that’s actually swimming underneath the arena ice, and shooting up its own like icy pillar attack things that Sakura and Syaoran have to skate around to avoid, and like any fight where the method of travel isn’t what it usually is is just inherently awesome, ice skating especially, but they combine it with some damn good animation here to make a fight that’s just, so fucking cool to watch, I adored every second of it. And that’s it that’s the episode, really great time.

Episode 34 was also super nice! It’s basically just Sakura and Yukito wandering around town doing this quiz put on by I guess the local government or something. And it was super sweet! All of the questions were fucking bullshit for Japanese kids involving like kanji and katagana and shit so I couldn’t answer any of them but hey they seemed nice. It’s fun seeing Sakura with Yukito, her crush is simply cute and he’s just nice in general. Also there’s an insert song and the instrumental sounds Jackson 5-y, that was cool. They also fall off of a cliff when Sakura ends up in something of a dazed state, but it’s cool, Yukito makes sure she’s okay. About that dazed state, that one dream Sakura’s been having has been popping up a lot as of late, also Mizuki warned Sakura about the full moon, also Kero-chan’s been lost in thought, and keeps on saying the name 2 “Yue”. I guess since we’re pretty close to the end of the first season they’re kind of setting up for a cool finale. I’m about to find out. Also although this is like, the end of the first season, I’m not gonna give a score, since all 70 episodes are the one MAL entry and I score those as a whole, but just know that it’d be a pretty hecking good score if I did give one.

Lmao forget all that talk I just had about an epic finale, this was just more regular Cardcaptor Sakura goodness, except on Christmas! Well, a little before. But that’s cool, because it’s a little before Christmas right now! Sakura invites Yukito to the amusement park as like a Christmas date type thing, and also to give him a birthday present since it’s his birthday, and the whole thing’s super sweet and cute and Yukito’s nice and Sakura’s feelings aren’t reciprocated because a 10 y/o and a 17 y/o in a relationship is fucked, and I’m glad, but also Sakura still gets to have a cute crush and that’s nice. Also Sakura goes to Meiling for advice with the present and the two share an interaction that’s genuinely positive on both sides, rather than Meiling’s usual hostility, so that was super great, particularly when they’re all in the park together (cause Meiling and Syaoran are both there too btw) and Meiling’s all “is that the guy?” and ah it was nice. Also speaking of Syaoran dude seems to be kinda crushing on Sakura now, which is neato, someone in his age range that’s not his cousin, that’s cool, but his crush on Yukito is also cute so like, we’ll see which takes prominence. Also in this episode we go up against the Firey Clow Card (it’s actually spelled like that, not even kidding) and like, fuck is it a dangerous one, could very well destroy the entire amusement park and kill everyone in it, that’d be super fucked. Syaoran has to use Time combined with Sakura using Sleep in order to give them a chance to even fight it, but none of their individual abilities can do anything. That is until Kero-chan tells Sakura to use Windy and Watery at the same time, which aside from being just a cool thing to do, lemme tell you right now, the entire sequence of Windy and Watery catching Firey is legit fucking sakuga. It’s so clean! Like this show’s animation has been pretty consistently great but this scene fucking blew me away, it looks so fucking good! The fight is over quite quickly once Kero-chan tells Sakura to use both, so the actual confrontation with Firey is surprisingly brief, but like, honestly the sakuga on display makes me not even care. Also since Sakura got Firey, Kero-chan now has some of his powers restored! He can create fire, but also really nice glowy sparkly things, that he kind of sprays all over the sky at the end to give us a really pretty backdrop for the credits. I think that’s pretty neat, can’t wait to see what else the Beast of the Seal has in store for us. And uh, I think that’s it, episode was just really good. Expected it to follow up on the plot threads that were being mad teased last episode but, eh, oh well.

By  Dan Wootton, Executive Editor12th April 2019, 9:30 pmUpdated: 12th April 2019, 9:42 pm

X FACTOR judges Robbie Williams and Ayda Field quit after Simon Cowell refused to increase their mega £10million pay packet.

One Direction superstar Louis Tomlinson is also poised to walk from the show, leaving Simon Cowell as the only returning judge. But he could be replaced by original judge Louis Walsh, who is a fan favourite.

[...]

The likely departure of 1D’s Louis comes as Simon overhauls the show in a big to increase ratings by moving away from civilian contestants.

The show insider explained: “X Factor will be different this year, with two distinct versions, but will go back to a more regular version next year.

“Louis wants to concentrate on his album this year. He also doesn’t like the ideas of judging celebrities and past contestants. But we hope he will return to the show as a judge in 2020.

“Robbie, Louis and Ayda are all part of the X Factor family.”

Sources close to Spice Girl Mel B, music mogul Louis Walsh, Greatest Dancer judge Cheryl and Aussie Dannii Minogue said they had yet to be approached about a return, but that is standard for X Factor where new judges usually sign deals in May.

"Organically Structured"