#3956

She could have left, then. Planned to leave, even. Grandpa didn’t abandon her, like I'd originally assumed – he always intended to flee alongside her.

pipefan413: But as they grew older, their interests drifted apart. The boy developed a passion for adventure and put aside his study of practical jokes. He dreamed of wealth and fame and discovery and swore he would wander the world. pipefan413: One day he decided to run away with the loyal dog he inherited from their father. He asked the girl if she would come along, but she was too scared of the retribution that might follow.

But I guess the adolescent Nanna didn’t have Grandpa’s confidence, nor his fearlessness. Left alone with a witch of a woman, her childhood was probably not dissimilar to many other children in this sad saga.

pipefan413: The boy scoffed at the danger, and assured his sister there was nothing to worry about. But he had not seen first hand what the baroness was capable of!

It sounds like Nanna directly witnessed some specific evil act. The woman did run a corporation, though, so that was probably just a typical Tuesday for Betty Crocker.

pipefan413: He told his sister that he believed in her, and that she could handle whatever the witch could throw at her. [...]

Those are some pretty harsh words for a girl destined for a lifetime of abuse - but at the same time, he did openly ask her to run away with him, and she couldn't do it. What was he meant to do, kidnap her?

I don't blame him for leaving alone, either. Grandpa was also an abused child, and it would be asking a lot of him to remain in an abusive household to defend another child. He needed to leave that situation for his sake, just as Nanna needed to leave it for hers.

Pipefan413: [...] And with that, he was off, and she would never see him again.

But, all that said, he should have come back eventually. He didn’t need to abandon her for an entire lifetime.

Whatever extenuating circumstances there may have been, it can't be denied that he started his life as an adventurer the same way he ended it - by leaving someone who loved him behind.

pipefan413: One day, the girl was able to gather enough bravery to mention her brother to the baroness, and her desire to see him again. With contempt, she guaranteed that this could never happen. When the girl asked why, that is when the baroness began to reveal to her more than just her baking secrets. pipefan413: [...] The colonel was not their father, nor was the baroness their mother. They in fact had no father or mother at all, nor were they ever actually born. They had both fallen from the sky! They were not actually brother and sister as they had been told either. Again like in many fairy tales, the truth was that they were always destined to become married one day. They were to have two children, a son and a daughter, and these children were meant to save the world! […]

Wait, what? Betty Crocker knew Sburb lore?

...I think it says quite a lot about the Homestuck experience that I'm not even particularly surprised. Of course Betty Crocker knew Sburb lore.

It’s clear that she didn't know everything, though. She was aware that John and Jade would eventually happen, but assumed they’d be born naturally - which makes it sound like she was just getting fragments of future events, much like a Prospit dreamer’s visions.

🔵🔗❗to the new complete list❗🔊🔗🔵

What could still be, in a world about to be rewritten?

All bets are off, at this point, and Nanna and Grandpa could easily be rebooted into a couple. Hell, they might actually raise John and Jade this time around - which, come to think of it, may have been the future that Crocker was actually seeing.

As always, the possibilities of the Scratch are staggering – but, with Doc Scratch looming over everything, they’re sure to come with strings attached.

pipefan413: For you see, the girl had uncovered so many dirty secrets about the terrible batterwitch, including the most troubling one of all. pipefan413: Of course no one would have believed her, but she knew. pipefan413: She knew the baroness was not human! :B

Wait, what?

This one's a real curveball, I've got to say - and I don't have a clue what this might mean, or what Crocker's secret identity could be. Homestuck’s other species feel far too alien to pass as human - surely if Crocker had horns, green skin, or an insect-like carapace, someone would have smelled a rat.

Like... this is Betty Crocker's 'canon' design, and her skin tone alone rules out most of Homestuck's aliens. I suppose she could be using some sort of illusion magic - but at this point, I'm making up mechanics that we've never seen before. That's usually a sign that you're barking up the wrong tree.

Alright, then – I’m guessing that Crocker is a robot. They're probably the easiest type of creature to disguise as a human, since they can be custom-made. Plus, it’s consistent with the real-life lore that Crocker isn’t actually a real person; she was created by someone else.

CG: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING NOW. CG: [...] WHY DID YOU GO BACK TO SEE HER? YOU DIDN'T MENTION THIS LAST TIME.

I assume ‘her’ is Echidna. We’ve been giving the kids’ Denizens a lot of focus in this sequence, and now it’s Jade’s turn. It also means that Cetus is next - which is going to be fun, since she's the only Denizen in the session that we know nothing about.