Stal did, once. When she was a child it was always her father, the tall, stern man who always had a flower to put in her hair. At 10 it was the clanâs best hunter, an older boy with jet black hair that he kept in small braids. She began putting small braids into her hair and didnt mind at all when he ruffled her hair, undoing near all of them.At 15 she realized it was her best friend, Aya.Aya had barely come into her magic yet, only a few years, and had already been taken as first. She calmed Stalâs erratic temper, provided an open ear for her troubles, healed their clansmen with a near steady hand. Aya was everything Stal had wished to be when she was younger: kind, open, caring. She couldnt help but adore Aya for it.Nothing changed when she began dating Aya at 22. Still her vhenan was her role model, her rock with which to steady herself and better herself. And, best of all, Aya looked up to Stal for similar reasons- Aya admired her bravery, her ability to speak up for herself, her lack of fear. They looked up to each other and love each other. It was everything either of them had dreamed. Until Aya died.Stal lost faith in people, afterwards. There were no idols, no role models in the poisoned world Stal saw after Ayaâs death. Only cruelty and fear, the strong and the weak. She closed herself off, shut any relationships off with a brick wall. No one could hurt her if no one could get in.Stal doesnât believe in looking up to people anymore. Everyone is flawed and everyone can die.