#2am posts

Gremblo splorkus was an honest man. He always made time to scroft in the wheatfields and frolic in the wine barrels. The townsfolk loved to suck on his meat pistols in the afternoon. He was the best meat pistol salesman in all of the land.

One day, unfortunately and however, a famine fell over the town. The famine ravaged the land, and several groiks were wilted and the wheat began to taste sour. So Gremblo splorkus decided that to spare his family of their fate, he would eat his family.

The first to go was his wife. He lured her into the bedroom, promising a night of passionate lovemaking. They licked eachothers tongues and suckled on eachother's teeth lovingly as they rolled around on the ceiling.

"Oh Gremblo splorkus" His wife said. "Although the famine is raging ever so, I am so glad our love still burns brightly as always."

"Indeed my sweet fermented slice of cheesecake. Mold is growing, we will be ready." Gremblo said between licks of the inside of his wife's ear. "But the famine grows strong. You and our children will surely starve."

"I care not for starvation!" His wife said. "Now let us doink our flangles until the sun turns into one massive eyeball!"

"No." Gremblo splorkus said. Then he pulled a shotgun out from his secret flesh pocket and shot his wife in the gut.

His wife screamed in agony as Gremblo splorkus licked his lips and rolled his eyes into the back of his skull. "HAROLD!!! HAAAAAARROOOOOOOOOOLLLLLLLDDDDDDD!!!!" She cried out as Gremblo splorkus got down on all fours and began muttering in tongues as he crawled over to his wife and began slurping up her insides like spaghetti.

"Daddy daddy daddy!" the voice of a small child sounded out. Gremblo's neck extended to see where the sound was coming from and found little Thronkus walking out from around the corner. "Your meal looks delicious! Can I join you in consuming mother?"

"You may join your mother in being consumed." And just like that, Gremblo's jaw extended and bit little Thronkus' head clean off his shoulders, crunghing it like a watermelon.

The blood tasted good, Gremblo desired even more. And just like that he went around the house devouring his offspring like popcorn. Sometimes they cried, sometimes they begged to join him, other times they tried to consume him but failed.

When all of his family was dead and devoured, Gremblo splorkus emerged from his residence and let out a shriek. "I…. BEAR…. SUSTAINANCE!!!!!!!!!" He shrieked out, his screams shattering the eardrums of many of the resitents of the village.

One by one, the citizens gargled in cheer and decended upon the carcasses of the family that Gremblo splorkus had worked so hard to build, only to be consumed in a time of need. But that is okay, everyone will be eaten. Whenever there is hunger, it is only a matter of time.

Of course, that time is not without consequences. The sky turned blortimony allequinne and the clouds were replaced by eyeballs not long after the feast commenced. A booming voice sounded from the heavens.

"YOU ALL HAVE SINNED." Jillopy boomed out. "FOR THAT, YOU SHALL BE SENTANCED TO AN ETERNITY OF BUGS!!!!!"

And just like that, the forms of the townsfolk morphed and bended and changed for the better. They were enlightened now, or so they thought. For agony began to overtake them. They twisted and bended and morphed into something unrecognizable. And then they were one with the trees, just like the idol that changed them for breaking the laws of nature.

They lived out their lives until they were eaten by the birds in the sky. And then the birds went through the same famine and in turn got transformed into beings below them. As the cycle will and has always continue. Something to consider the next time you decide to consume your wife and children.