#245am

We're here again. In the quiet. We are here, once more, having sat and stared and scrolled for about two hours now because we want to go to bed but something feels. Surreal. Like I'm going to take a few steps outside this door and suddenly I'm on a hiking trail with light mists obscuring the horizon and more green and grey than you could ever think possible around me. The air feels so, solid. I'm moving as normal but moving would take effort that's beyond my capabilities right now. There is peace here, it almost... straps you down and locks the door because it's so quiet and nice. Like those moments where you're staring into a lovers eyes and nothing exists beyond the rim of their pupils. Those moments where darkness invades the corners of your vision because nothing could be quiet so important at those gorgeous eyelashes and the slight crinkle of smile lines and those loosely unfocused eyes. It's important to take time, to mark and set flags down and Take Time. Pack it away in a bag, store it in photographs and put it up on walls or set reminders so that every year you can look back and notice that that was Time. There's no earthly way of knowing, just how long we have been going. Time passed without trace or recognition. Impossibly slow and incredibly fast all at once. Time is just so full of itself. Time is Chock full of moments and moments are Chock full of minutes and minutes, by gods, minutes have so many seconds inside them. You can miss the trees for the forest, and you can miss the forest for the trees. Every now and again it's good to simply step forward and peer at the painting of time. And every now and again it's good to step back, straighten yourself and have a little walk about knowing that time is there. It will always be there, but it doesn't matter right this moment. But by breathing and pausing and taking a moment to regard the fact that time has passed you are setting a little marker down. And while you may look back and be Aghast at the sheer amount of distance it has been since the last marker it will for a while be quite simple to remember times in which your horizon was no further than a lover's embrace. Take a second, breathe, and understand you may be under a deluge of seconds right now you will one day return to simpler times. You will find quiet in the space between the seconds, in nights so quiet the only thing you can hear is their breathing and this Stupidly Loud Keyboard. You will find comfort in simple room tone, in the familiarity of your surroundings, that simple buzzing of the lights and batteries around you that's so small and insignificant you would never hear it but for moments like this in which you notice everything. Understand that life will ebb and flow and you will get your breath back. Understand that there are ups and downs and the only difference is going to be the scale of time at which you recall. If you think your story isn't in a good place then simply go a little further, read a little deeper. Sit and breathe until you find more space between the seconds. Back straight, against a wall if you can, and let the air touch your skin. Let the surfaces beneath you and behind you press against your body so that you believe you're not going anywhere and simply exist. You can find gorgeous little moments like that in the darkest of times and places. It will mug you in the night with it's simplicity, and if it doesn't tonight then there's always tomorrow. The important thing is to try.