#22untilnone

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This continues to be absolutely unacceptable and heartbreaking. In my previous life as a Warrant Officer, I took part in numerous investigations after a suicide occurred. Nine out of ten times, there were "always" indicators that were missed. • If you think the need for mental health equates to weakness, you need to go look in the mirror and reevaluate your role as a Veteran. Yes, there are a plethora of resources, but getting our Veteran brothers and sisters to them is where ALL of us come in. • Most Veterans need to hear from other Veterans that they aren't weak asking for help. They need a nudge and to know they aren't alone. I am pleading with any Veteran out there, please be that resource. Repost this, create your own post, toss it on your story, I don't care, we need to do more because this is not getting better. It starts with us. • If you're a Veteran and need to talk to someone who is still fighting the night terrors, sounds, smells, waking up in a pool of sweat, avoiding crowds, and everything in between... DM me and I promise you that I'll give you my personal number. I am your brother, I always will be, let me help you. • #22 #22untilnone @mission_22 @22untilnone #ptsd #ptsdawareness #ptsdrecovery #suicideprevention #veterans #brothers #sisters #veteranshelpingveterans #godlovesyou #weloveyou #blessed #godisgreat #thankful #clarksville #clarksvilletennessee #sango #sangotn #adams #adamstn #tennessee #clarksvilletn #veteranowned #veteran #blessedfamily #godsearth #jesuslovesyou #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness (at Clarksville Tennesse) https://www.instagram.com/p/B9cEgOyJ0fe/?igshid=1j1r57lvclda3

Repost from @22untilnone on Instagram: “Relationships can be the hardest to reconcile. It's okay to let one go. It's healthy.” #22untilnone…” using @RepostRegramApp - Relationships can be the hardest to reconcile. It's okay to let one go. It's healthy. https://www.instagram.com/p/BxSoqufHQhJEjZHnULvvt2yxweS4Av5JSgJaQQ0/?utm_source=ig_tumblr_share&igshid=1sw6llqhzcsr0

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This was an assignment for my Color Design class. We had to choose a political/social issue we felt strongly about, and come up with a simple design similar to a poster design. I chose veteran suicide, and wanted to give a nod to 22UntilNone, the organization that really brought this issue to my attention a few years ago. I come from a military family, and this issue is very close to my heart. My desire is to honor those veterans who fall after they come home from the war with this painting. 

I’m basically having to re-learn how to control my emotions, my mouth, my anger, my everything. It’s made it so I don’t even really know who I am or how I feel. Someone will just say, “How are you?” and I feel dumb for having to answer, “I don’t know.” Things run through my head like: I feel like a piece of shit for not being able to move on. Or I feel like it’s basically like being an adult with the brain of a two-year-old with all the adult fears that drive everything. But finding the words to express this is so difficult for me now. I long for normalcy, for the person I used to be. Where I once saw myself as a confident, intelligent, out-going, all-together person, it now feels like a circus in my head. I don’t understand myself any longer. Everything can overwhelm me. Thankfully I am learning now how to cope and control it but honestly, I just am looking forward for this nightmare to end. A nightmare in which I trying to control and my wife thinks I'm just the shit bag for not being able to do the simple things. its not that I'm not able to, its that my mind wonders off to somewhere else and I end of forgetting what I was supposed to grab or do in the first place. this morning I forgot to grab the dog food out of my trunk so she could feed the dogs, I don't know if it was because i was barely awake or if it was something else. I realize that I like to play my games or focus strongly on my hobbies because I feel like I'm in control of something for once.... idk, maybe I'm just typing this and someone is gonna tell me to quit being a bitch. but this is the first time in almost 2 years that ive really thought about it and I cant find the words or where to start talking about it with my wife or anyone else, so ill type it here and act like this isn't social media, just a personal note. Fuck it, I'm hitting "post."