#21daysof

I made this in half an hour because #21DaysofVGM

There’s no melody

Being very mindful of what I bring for the day. Items I need for work: camera, computer/hard drive, chargers, bag of makeup. Other things: snacks, water bottle, headphones, kindle, wallet, room key, bag of toiletries, this phone.

Probably could have found a way to bring less. But I think I’m working on it.

Let me start off by saying, my job is hard. Not hard in the traditional sense, nor is it the hardest job out there, I’m sure; I’m not performing life-changing surgery on a living person. But to me, my job is hard. 

It is hard that I sleep in a new bed every night, often for only a few hours before packing up again. My work days are often 12, 15, 18 hours long. I sit in cars for hours at a time without space or privacy to achieve personal tasks. I act in three heavy and emotionally draining shows. I meet new people constantly and use a great deal of brain space keeping professional contacts straight in email chains and in person. I have no ability to form in-person relationships with people. I love my job, if it weren’t hard, I wouldn’t enjoy it. 

But I don’t have time (or rather in my perception) to do some of the things I feel passionate about right now. I want to be a great photographer. I could wake up in the mornings early and take a walk with my camera instead of just snapping pics at our venues. I could finally finish that play or two I’ve been working on. I could focus on my body and my health. Work toward happiness. There are skills I really want to learn. It all feels so difficult to make space for these things after all my obligations are met. It feels especially overwhelming to have goals piling up on top of each other, and all this guilt about doing none of them. 

They say it takes 21 days to make or break a habit. I know that’s not real science anymore, but three weeks seems like a very manageable amount of time. Every 21 days I will pick a new skill, goal, activity, or approach to live with. I hope to track how it makes me feel, what setting aside time and space to do something small everyday can do for me.