#2020 resolution

I didn’t include the coronavirus death toll in my last post but it’s irresponsible to ignore it, even on a tumblr about not buying clothes. 118,434 Americans have died from the virus to date, but not just any Americans. Per an AMP Research Lab analysis of covid deaths through June 9th, “Collectively, Black Americans represent 12.4% of the population in the U.S., but they have suffered 24.3% of known COVID-19 deaths—i.e., they are dying at twice their population share.”

Systemic racism is a hard thing for White people to understand. If 2020 has done anything, it has perhaps enlightened a few more of them. The glaring racial disparity in coronavirus deaths has nothing to do with science and everything to do with society: as just one example, coronavirus is particularly dangerous for people with pre-existing conditions. Per the Brookings Institute, Black Americans disproportionately have pre-existing conditions because they disproportionately "live in neighborhoods with a lack of healthy food options, green spaces, recreational facilities, lighting, and safety.” Black Americans live in these neighborhoods because White Americans forced them to through decades of racist real estate practices known as redlining. Black Americans stay in these neighborhoods because White Americans created policies and practices that pay Black Americans less, arrest Black Americans more, and pretend that everyone has an equal shot at the American Dream while ignoring statistics that prove the greatest predictor of future success for a child is the wealth they’re born into. 

Racist policies are pervasive in health care. They’re pervasive in housing. In education. In entertainment. And most certainly in fashion.

In the past few weeks we’ve seen leaders from Reformation, Ban.Do, Bustle and Refinery29 exit over accounts of discrimination and outright racism in their workplaces. We’ve seen Anna Wintour apologize (badly) after literal decades of White-centering bullshit in her magazines. We’ve seen Aurora James of Brother Vellies create a campaign for retailers to dedicate a mere 15% of their inventory space to Black brands, and we’ve not seen fashion rise to the quote unquote challenge. 

For many White folks, discovering that every single facet of American life was designed to help them and hurt those not like them is overwhelming. But this discovery is nowhere near as overwhelming as living within a system designed to oppress you at every turn.

Unfortunately, barring a full throated people’s revolution, structural racism cannot be dismantled in a day, a week, or a month. Removing Yael from Reformation does not suddenly bring fairness to the company’s promotion practices or diversity to their board or ad campaigns. Reminding people that Urban Outfitters is a terrible company will not change the fact that Richard Hayne owns it (though the revelations of Anthropologie racial profiling customers may shake a few White women of their Anthro habit). Change may be coming, but it is certainly not coming from the top.

Instead it is up to you, dear reader. Do you want your favorite store to take the 15% pledge? Write them and tell them! Want your favorite brand to release a diversity report on their workforce? Tweet them and ask! Need more than lip service from your fashion news sources? Stop reading them until they show receipts! Want to stop giving White male millionaires more money? Start buying from BIPOC- and women-owned places instead! Also just like, stop buying fast fashion, but you knew that already.

For a bit of back story, I hid behind my hair a lot these past two years. I used it as a security blanket when I lost a lot of self confidence. My hair was the only thing that made me feel beautiful when physically I didn’t.

As it grew down my back and passed my bottom, I felt like the only thing that made me feel beautiful was making me miserable. It got in the way of everything I did, and I mean everything. Though for some reason I couldn’t let go of the one thing that truly made me beautiful.

It’s like if I were to cut my hair my worth would suddenly diminish and nobody would want me anymore.

Despite it being two, almost three, months into 2020, I finally mustered the courage to cut my hair and give myself a whole new look.

It’s only been a few hours, but now I feel like a whole new person. It’s as if a weight has been physically lifted off my shoulders and I can breathe again.

I didn’t cringe or feel disgust when I looked myself in the mirror anymore.

FINALLY...

After more or less than 47 days, I’ve made my decision for this year's resolution. Simpelnya, gak akan neko-neko gue. Tahun lalu starts strong but ends with very disappointed (at least 2019 was my second-worst year of the previous decade, not the first).

So, these are my THREE big goal in 2020:

1. Dapat pekerjaan full-time di industri radio sebagai penyiar radio/news presenter/produser/digital team di MARI,

2. Dapat total pemasukkan dalam kelompok angka delapan digit per bulan

3. Terus aktif mengembangkan diri dari berbagai sisi dan beragam bidang, terutama terkait writing, gaming, & public speaking

Tak banyak tapi ini hanyalah goal besarku dari beberapa perintilan yg kumiliki untuk dicapai tahun ini.

So, this is my 2020 resolution lineart homework! It says i wanna have lot of money , te-he!

Metempsychosis (Greek: μετεμψύχωσις)

is a philosophical term in the Greek language referring to transmigration of the soul, especially its reincarnation after death. 

generally, the term is derived from the context of ancient Greek philosophy, and has been recontextualised by modern philosophers such as Arthur Schopenhauer and Kurt Gödel.

otherwise, the term "transmigration" is more appropriate. 

I don’t normally do new year resolutions. Because it’s what everyone does around this year and I don’t like to follow the trend. Also for the most part, I feel like everything’s just the way it’s supposed to be. There’s no need for any big changes.

Then these few years happened. I was forced to see that there’s a lot more growing up I need to do and I thought of “Spirited Away”, one of my favorite films.

In many ways, “Spirited Away” is a film about names. Chihiro has two names after she entered the mystical parallel universe. No-face has no name. Haku doesn’t remember his real name. Names represent the characters’ identities and only by holding onto their names could they really leave that mystical place and be themselves. Even Haku once told Chihiro that by giving her a new name, Yubaba held control over her. This is a film about (re)discovering your own identity. It’s about finding who you are all along. And I guess the journey of Chihiro or Haku or any other character in this movie is my own journey as well.

This is my second year working as a teacher. Being a teacher is the last occupation I thought I would end up working, yet here I am. I have questioned God more than once why this job opportunity was given to me when I was asking for a direction, and I think I have found my answer recently: teaching is an occupation that has everything I’m afraid of.

People say our fears comes from somewhere and that they can say a lot about who we are and what we have been through. I slowly begin to realize that. There are things I’m still afraid of and they may be deeply linked to my past. The fact I’m still afraid just goes to show I am still chained to my past. God has put me here for a reason, I am more certain of that now. He wants me to face who I was and am, so that He can shape me to who I will be.

So let this be my resolution: to find my authentic self, to know that I am a person free of my wounds and fears, to have the courage to do the things I love without being afraid of making a mistake or how other people think of me.