#2.12.2018

I no longer want now what I always asked for. My heart is shaking and terrified.

Yours,

New features and villagers (Kabuki & Gruff) in LuBayne!

I just finished this and I still have no idea what is actually happening in it, also I hate the prompt, but I hope it brightens your day a little anyways <3

The plan, Lance decides,would have gone off without a hitch, if it hadn't been for Keith.

“You just had tosay something, Mullet!” 

Keith throws up his hands.“I just wanted to know how he isn't going to suffocate!”

The repeated questionearns another groan of distress from the blubbering alien in the corner beforehe resumes his frantic ramblings with renewed vigor.

“But did you have to askwith him in hearing range?”

“It's a good questionLance, none of us have ever done this before.” Hunk says in an attempt to quellany budding argument.

“You've met Slav. He wouldhave come to that question and all the possible ways it could go wrong on hisown. You know, eventually.” Pidge adds helpfully.

Lance rolls his eyes,flopping over the counter. “Yeah but he's been hung up on all the ways he coulddiscover a rare allergy to the cake ingredients and what frosting colors wouldaccent him best for the last hour. I figured we'd get him into the cake beforehe made it that far down on the list,” he waves a hand towards the corner, asif any of them could have forgotten he was there. “Now we'll never get him inthere.”

The kitchen falls into anawkward silence, save for Slav’s continued mutterings and the quiet clink ofutensils as Hunk continues cooking.

“What about holding hisbreath?” Pidge asks suddenly.

Lance squints at her.“What do you mean?”

Ignoring him, Pidge leanstowards Slav. “How long can you hold your breath? Just in case we can’t figureit out safely, if we know how long you can hold your breath we can time it soyou aren’t in there that long. It only takes like 3 ticks to say ‘HappyBirthday.’”

He stops his ramblings toconsider what she’s saying. “There’s a ten percent chance of that idea not endingin catastrophe if this is one of the realities in which I can hold my breathfor seventy-four ticks.”

The four paladins share alook.

“Well…is it?” Lanceprompts when Slav does not continue.

“Hm.” The questions setshim off on another bout of calculations.

Still, Lance takes it as a goodsign, and shoots Hunk a thumbs up.

The plan, even despiteKeith, might still be a success after all.

The plan, Lance realizes,might still be a disaster if Shiro won’t cooperate.

He’s perched besides thegiant cake, with Hunk on the other side, ready to wheel it out the momentsomeone turns on the lights.

Except they’ve alreadybeen sitting there for nearly three minutes, listening to the back and forthbetween him, Pidge, and Keith. Well, mostly Pidge and Shiro. Keith doesn’t seemto be particularly enthusiastic to bring Shiro into the room, which justfurther proves Lance’s previous point about the mission failing because of him.

“Even I did not accountfor the multiple possibilities in which Shiro caused the plan to fail.” Slavsays next to him, with an air of wonder in his voice.

Lance turns to glare athim, though he’s fairly certain he’s off by a few inches considering the dark.“You didn’t?” 

“No, but I had known whenI finally agreed that there would be a six and three/eightieths percent chancethat I would have forgotten something vital in at least twelve differentrealities.”

Lance images for a momentthat he can see Hunk and share a disbelieving look with him. “Wow…that seemslike a…big chance to take.”

“Hm, yes I suppose, butyou did choose blue frosting as I requested after all which, as I may havementioned before-”

“Yeah, yeah, it’s in yourlucky range of terahertz,” Lance waves a hand to stop Slav before he can startto ramble. “Wait, I think I hear something.”

Keith finally joins theconversation again outside, but his words are muffled except for “Lance.”

Lance grits his teeth. “Hebetter not be giving away our plan,” he says, already planning some form ofpayback, when Shiro speaks again. 

“Alright, I’ll see if Ican answer Lance’s questions before going to find Allura. Where did you say hewas?”

Lance almost blows theircover himself, barely catching himself before he cheers. Yes! Keith actuallycame through. For once.

He turns to Slav, whosevague outline he can still make out besides him. “Quick, get in the cake!Before Shiro sees!”

“But-“

Lance shoves him beforeSlav can continue arguing, and he reluctantly begins to wiggle into place. 

Though Lance can stillhear him muttering to himself as he and Hunk close the fake back on the largecake.

They barely have the hatchclosed before the door slides open and the lights flicker on.

Immediately, Lance andHunk jump out from their places to flock the cake, while Allura and Coranappear on the other side of the room brandishing some kind of Altean partyfavor that looked extremely dangerous, but the other paladins agreed to letthem use on account of how excited they seemed to pull them out again.

“Happy Birthday!”

They shout in unison,Pidge and Keith joining only a moment behind as they follow Shiro into thedining hall.

Slav bursts forth from thetop of the cake on cue, splattering Lance and Hunk with frosting.

Shiro stares inastonishment, frozen to his spot in the room. Keith and Pidge start to laugh,but flanking him they can’t see what Lance and Hunk are witness to.

Which is Shiro blushing.

Lance glances beside him.Slav still towers over the top of the tiered cake, arms spread out in adramatic pose. He’s wearing some kind of sparkling top that actually coversvery little of his long torso, and a feather boa is draped around him.

Lance has absolutely noidea where he got the outfit, but he elects not to ask. Turning back around, hegrins at Shiro.

“Surprise! You thought weforgot didn’t you?”

Shiro startles out of histrance to acknowledge Lance with a sheepish smile. “I uh, actually didn’t know you guysknew my birthday.”

“Well technically we’re alittle early since someone is a Leap Year Baby and didn’t even bother to tellus, but Keith might’ve let the date slip a few weeks ago.” Hunk chimes in.

“Are you exhilarated,Black Paladin?” Slav suddenly speaks up. With a dramatic twist that flings morefrosting around the room, he tosses to boa towards Shiro, somehow managing to actuallywrap it around his shoulders, though it drops half off him a moment later. “Therewas a sixty-six percent chance that the colors would excite you,” Lance didn’trealize Slav was wearing something else but the sound of something jingling ashe shimmies gives it away. “And that was in my lucky range today.”

Silence falls over theroom when Slav stops speaking. Shiro’s flush returns full force.

The plan’s not exactly adisaster, Lance decides, but it has most definitely taken a turn he was notprepared for.

Water animals

Bring hose inside to thaw

Probably eat

Shower

Probably call a doctor about an IUD

IzzyTheCyborg: Feelings are good. They mean you're alive

Me: It feels like the moment right before impact as you watch something heavy fall on your toes.