A Thousand Gigawatts - A Gay Baseball Short Story.
"In the air there is the thick and potent feeling of being at the junction of one of the large hunks that history is wont to divide itself into. Like a demented trap door the floor opens up and the serfs and slaves of the world scramble at the hinge, tiding their cascading unease with bread and games."
It's 1937, and floodlights are being installed at Minneapolis' Nicollet Park. The Millers' second baseman, Zalman Axelrod, is thinking about progress, St Paul Saints shortstop Clem Hazeldine, and the cover of darkness.
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Hereâs a wip for @blaseballwipamnesty !! itâs an unfinished and really untitled tbh 12x100 of mike townsend going to 12 different funerals (cw death, loss of a loved one, loss of a parent). one day i will finish this but for now i am stuck on shaq torresâ dave and busters wake.Â
i.
His shirt is too big, his tie lopsided. He tries to sink behind the glare of his glasses in the all-too-brightly-lit room. Mike Townsend drums his hands awkwardly on his knees, staring at the open casket 5 yards in front of him.
Soft feedback whines from the microphone. He turns to it and watches his college roommate clear her throat and take a deep breath. Mikeâs only here for her. He knows he doesnât belong here. He only met Jaylenâs mom once, during move in at the start of the semester. This is the first time heâs seen her since.
ii.
Mikeâs reflection distorts in the polished brass of the urn. No open casket this time. The book opened and all it left behind was ashes. He remembers being frozen in place while he watched the groundskeepers sweep up what was left of Jaylen. He remembers how much he wanted to look away.
âYou sure you can take it?â someone asks. Mike doesnât look to see who.
He keeps staring at himself. âYeah. Allie shouldnât have to be the one to handle this.â He can see behind himself in the urn where Jaylenâs girlfriend since sophomore year tries not to crumble.
iii.
He can feel Derrick tense when Tiana shows up at Bennettâs service. Mike understands. Derrick knows what itâs like to be at the funeral of someone you replaced. But unlike Derrick at Jaylenâs funeral, Tiana seems like sheâs supposed to be there. Mike puts a hand on his teammateâs shoulder while they watch a sapling lowered into the Earth.
Bennett was always close with nature. This time, the Garages are at the edge of a forest, their teammateâs ashes being turned into a tree. Mike wonders if he should have done something special, something more like this for Jaylenâs funeral.
iv.
A band grieves a timpani player, gone too soon. They stare at ashes waiting for her to rise again, just like she did last time. But Tiana Cash does not rise. The Garages mourn, and they cry, and they treat her like theyâve lost someone theyâve known all their life, not someone theyâd known for just forty days.
Mike sits in the back, his pinky intertwined with Derrickâs. The longer the service goes on, the more he tightens his grip. Would they grieve for Derrick like this if he were gone too soon? Would they even mourn Mike like her?
