#1.10.18

glas ist doch allda und -hier

eine amorphe flüssigkeit,

ob lang, schmal, dick, kurz oder breit

nach der schule, eins, zwei, drei,

vergessen menschen dererlei,

und fang'n aus gläsern an, den hehren,

den Flüssigtag'sbedarf zu leeren,

ohne groß zu hinterfragen,

gern auch in härtesten gelagen,

bis dereinst dann auf die schnelle

die gläserne gesundheitsdelle

des menschen hybris demoliert

und nachdem er hier entschwirrt

ein letztes mal ihn hochzuleben

die gläser wir tun auf ihn heben,

gefüllt mit geistigem getränk,

eins, zwei, hopp, rasch und gelenk

verschwindet's uns in unserm magen,

um's gehirn nicht mehr zu plagen

mit fragen über tod und leben,

getränke fest in flüssig weben,

so dümpelt es sich weiterhin,

So for those of you not in the know, Yuru Camp was my anime of the season for Winter 2018 and as it currently stands (not for long though get hyped for Vento Aureo) it’s my favourite anime this year. Part of that obviously comes down to just how cute and relaxing it is, but the main reason I love it so much is because of Shimarin.

See, the appeal of Shimarin is very simple. She’s not too much different than your average lone wolf/introverted cute girl in any given anime. She’s obviously got all her quirks like “I will turn you to rust on my blade” and just generally being dorky and cute, but she’s not a character you haven’t seen.

Except - and here’s where it gets good - the show respects the fact that Shimarin likes to be by herself. Whereas other cute girl anime have the introverted girl be almost looked down upon unless she’s hanging out with the rest of the group, Yuru Camp tells us that Shimarin’s solo camping activities are just as good as group camping activities. When Shimarin goes group camping in the end, she has fun with it, but she goes back to solo camping afterwards. Neither is better, Shimarin just likes one of them a bit more.

And that means a lot to me. I enjoy the company of other people and stuff, but I like doing my own thing by myself just as much. For Yuru Camp to give me Shimarin and tell me she’s just as worthy of having her interests respected, it felt nice, especially in a climate where the introverted girls in cute girl anime are forced to become a people person from pretty much the moment we meet them.

And that’s why I love Shimarin.

Happy birthday, Shimarin!

P.S. It’s also Christina from New Game’s birthday

Saw Flip Flappers in CEX for £60. Only had £57.50 due to needing to pay a bus fare to get there in the first place. Frankly, I'm legitimately upset by this.

Since I didn't want to leave without buying anything though, I got:

These 2 from Waterstones, and:

January 10, 2018

36 minutes at bedtime

‘Could not complete the second set of extra 10 minutes. Didn’t have the stamina to fight the subconscious restlessness after the second bell (at 35 minutes) rang. The subconscious restless came on strong and wouldn’t leave after one bizarre happening. I guess my sense of survival kept the subconscious going after the bizarre happening.

I believe I heard the Om sound yesterday ! Have never heard it before. I mean I have heard recorded versions on electronic devices and I have heard myself utter the sound with the help of my voice box. But never before have I heard it from the source ! Never before have I heard it from within, as if it was being uttered.

It wasn’t like those memories getting weaved into dreams. Those are distinctly memories. One is very aware that the events getting played out before the attention aren’t events unfolding at the moment. They are memories. The single Om sound that I heard yesterday seemed like a sound that I was listening to as it was getting played. I wasn’t uttering it. I was listening to it. With all my senses, when I paid attention, I knew it wasn’t coming from outside of me. There was relative silence and white noise outside me.

This is really one of those nights

Where I feel I am actually dying inside.

Not slowly,

Not like the preassure of the water inside me drowning my life away.

No.

It's like tearing piece by piece violently.