세상은잘못되지않았다.내가이런인간일뿐.#09222015 #그림 #pierrot #삐에로 #solrati

Day 265: working hard or…? (30 day background challenge)

So a lot has happened in the couple weeks I've been MIA. Maybe I haven't felt the need to blog because I've been able to handle everything on my own. You know, didn't need to type it out to understand what's going on in my head. I'm currently laying in bed sick. I feel so gross. Sore throat, fever, body pains .. And I'm currently freaking out about my period being late. I had this gut feeling last week that I was pregnant. I don't know why. But I told myself I'd wait until my period to see. I am on birth control. But Eric has cum inside me on the days it's placebo / prior to my period. Keeping my fingers crossed I get it in the next couple days. I started the Charge Nurse role. Well, I completed my orientation. But I got thrown into it when Kristin felt sick and left early. It's a hectic job. I can see some days being very overwhelming. I'm excited for Friday though. Excited to start. I just hope I feel better by then. Now my favourite topic to write about ... Eric. Me and him are in a weird position. We had a talk last week. About how we care for each other, but something is missing. He said there's no chemistry. I think he used the wrong word. But this mainly came from him not being able to cum with me, like ever. It bugs him and it bugs me. He said I'm not crazy enough for him. I told him how I don't get pleasure when he goes down on me because I know he doesn't like it. I told him he's selfish. We cleared the air. But we didn't know what to do next. We didn't know how to continue, "us." I met his friend Andy on Sunday. Eric annoyed me though. Instead of me staying over he slept at his parents place. We still talk. I'm just not sure what's next. I want him around for my birthday. I told him my parents are going to the Philippines for 3 weeks. He made a comment about finally being able to sleep in my bed. Funny, when I first went over to his place last week, he said "let's make a baby." I don't know what I'd do if I'm pregnant. I can see Eric's family being supportive. I can see us having a cute ass baby. But then there goes my goals. We'd be a broken family. We already decided we knew we weren't meant to be together. Blah this is stressing me out.