The past two days have been rough over here. I’m still sleeping okay(ish) but have been feeling overly emotional and at the same time kinda numb? I feel like I’m getting upset easily and at the same time not *feeling* the good stuff as much as I should be. That being said, this morning I’m feeling a bit better, a bit lighter. Here I sit on the couch at 5am, unable to sleep, with Pep slumbering away on my chest.
One less-than-pretty aspect of this postpartum experience has been my attitude toward the cats. It’s so weird and unexpected, but I think it comes from feeling like I give 100% of myself to Pep and I don’t have anything left. So when the cats get right under my feet because they’re hungry, or otherwise need something from me, I’ve been getting so angry and annoyed with them. Which I know makes no sense, and it’s not their fault they’re hungry. I feel like people don’t talk about these kinda things, but I’m telling myself it’s normal and hopefully it’ll get better with time.
Anyway. On Saturday I watched this documentary, Rebuilding Paradise, about the aftermath of the 2018 Camp Fire in CA and it was extremely well done. That said, it also brought a lot of tears. Very heart-wrenching. Probably not the best choice for someone who is already feeling emotional. 🙃
Good stuff:
B went out to grab some formula yesterday morning and stopped to surprise me with a caramel frap. Amazing.
I baked some delicious banana nut muffins - I think I’ve finally found my go-to recipe.
Callie has become more aware of Pep and constantly is checking up on him when he’s in his bassinet in the living room. She stands on her little hind legs to get a glimpse. How cute is that?
I spent way too much money on Bombas. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to give into the trendiness, but had a 20% off coupon, so I went for it. I got a 6-pack of ankle socks and a pair of “gripper slippers”. They are AMAZING. My feet are so happy. I haven’t bought decent socks in years (read: ever) and it feels like such a worthy investment for someone who never leaves the house. Socks are my new shoes.
