I LITERALLY CANT SLEEP IM DRAWING SLOP
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I LITERALLY CANT SLEEP IM DRAWING SLOP

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did a bit of scrolling through kazewhara and i feel so warm inside. both kazewhara and awlumii were like pockets of home to me, really. everyone was so kind and interactive.
it's just that.. at the time, i was so severely depressed and insecure that none of it really reached me. i was so unbelievably broken on a fundamental level. i feel like i owe everyone an apology.
i dunno if i could ever create a family like that on tumblr again. i want to, but with my other interests. it doesn't even need to be as big, i just... miss the community, i guess.
reminiscing is so bittersweet. i miss the time, but i don't miss who i was back then. i wouldn't ever go back to being that person. i was unstable and overly reliant on the validation of others. but... i can't deny how happy those blogs, anons, works and such made me.
i've maintained that i think birdman is not aware of their world but. i think i may need to change that opinion. i still don't think he's completely aware of the nature of their reality but i think he has a certain Internal Sense that this is all there is. and he's picked up on enough to have simply Given Up. because what is the point anyway? nothing changes, and there's nothing out there. you might as well try to live with where you are.
like in transport, it really does read like he is disappointed in red for being so, so desperate to find somewhere else when there has never been anything else. and in family, he's the only one who seems to realize that he is a singular entity who came from nowhere, and he Again seems disappointed in red for trying to find something he simply does not have.
What type of symphony are you?
Lenore do you live a secret double life as magician François rivalto your neighbor Mike
Lenore: Ah, no. I am not... him. I am not a man for one. Not an entertainer in general. My role is... far more prestigious.

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......Well. I’m gonna have to get some more coffee lmao
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