no but you know what gets me about that angst scene? the way ben says i don't care after callum tells him he could go back to prison. just think about everything he's said about what prison was like for him, that whole conversation with jay about how people used to treat him. just think about how much ben was saying he couldnt go back to prison when the whole thing with the cctv happened. and the way he says he doesn't care because he needs to do this for paul's memory, because he's never been taught a better way to deal with it than violence. because maybe he feels like he owes paul, because he didn't die that night.
and maybe he's thinking that this is what it will take for callum to come to his senses and understand that ben is no good for him. maybe he's thinking that he's doing callum a favour by going to prison because then he doesn't have to feel guilty about moving on. maybe he's thinking this is just how things were supposed to go for him.
he's willing to give up everything that he's fought so hard for (and think about the wedding, think about that scene with lexi in the arches before, think about his vows) because he thinks that's what he deserves
