#-pop

or they get grossed out by me talking about in normal conversations BDSM or other kinky things and I just remember “no, not everyone is so cool with kink” and I shut the fuck upZ

and now i don’t know what I am doing! But it’s been something new.

Hi everyone I’m back!

I have now a healthy relationship with some of my headmates.

I also am now not host!

has been strange.

if you were wondering what the actual fuck happened.

we are fine, they ended up dating a right winger for some fucking reason though.

now THEY (new host) DATE ME???

I don’t. They have such a different life to me, and I thought mine was weird.

how are they a manager of 30+ people. I’ve never had a management position in my entire life. And they just randomly picked it up one day.

now I just exist like a pretty princess while I watch them do everything i always dreamed of and about.

I’m. In shock actually.

that just. I was stuck, in a weird replica of Gotham city I had a job, I was doing a 9 to 5 to pay for my shitty tinderbox of a house, I was gone for months I was gone.

for months, I was gone for months I was gone. For months months months months.

now what am I supposed to do, deal with the fallout like I always do? What even triggered me back out of being almost nothing.

I’m. In shock.

I think we were mentally healthy? not dead, not undead either.

just.

shock.

I don’t think we.

were we scared?

huh, weird things.

happy Purim guys I have been informed I probably missed it but.

I hate this MOTHER, FATHER, BITCH ASS FUCKKING COUNTRY SO HARD.

I wish to curl in a ball and starve.

I am so fucking done, Actually so fucking done. I’m going to actually protest soon like it’s so fucking bad, I am so so so tired and tired and exhausted and hopeless.

going to actually go and bully the government now, I am so furiously angry and upset about EVERYTHING.

I hate it here, and I can’t even escape.

I wish nothing but the best to my fellow Australians and I am so fucking sorry for us all.

I hope the government fucking does something if not I am genuinely going to start protesting peacefully.

I’m so fucking done. I hate this country so fucking much words cannot describe or express the shear hopelessness and desperation that emanates off me.

I want to die, it is so fucking bad. It is so so so so bad.

who am I kidding anymore, it’s bad.

I am so hopeless my god, I hate that I have no future here I hate that I can’t even believe I could have a future elsewhere.

I’m so tired and sick and on deaths door. I hate this life and I don’t want to die.

fuck this all, I want to live and be happy. FUCK THIS ALLLLLL I WANT TO LIVE AND BE HAPPY FUCK EVERY SINGLE TINY THING IN THIS LIFE I WANT TO BE MOTHERFUCKING ALIVE AND HAPPY.

I WANT TO HAVE A HOUSW AND A JOB, I WANT TO LEARNNNN, I WANT TO BE HUMAN.

I FUCKING HATE THIS LIFE, BUT I LOVE LIVING.

I’ll fight til my last breath and it will be okay someday.

but if I live to see that I don’t know.

I just wanna fucking be human.

I hate this fucking country I hate this fucking life, I’ll live I’ll live I’ll live but I fucking hate this life.

I’m actually so fucking frustrated and angry and filled with rage and anxiety and disbelief and despair.

and within that time L read… 900+ COMICS

I DON’T READ MANY COMICS, I’VE LITERALLY ONLY EVER READ FIRESTORM.

HOW DO I EXPLAIN THAT… “oh yeah I totally know why there is hundreds of comic panels in our camera role” I DONT WHY IS THERE SO MANY

LISTEN I REMEMBER NOTHING, I feel bad now because how dare I know nothing. But I’m not reading through literally NINE HUNDRED PLUS COMICS LIKE A MAD MAN.

L got that done… IN 2 MONTHS, THAT IS ACTUALLY INSANE!!!!

I’M NOT GOING TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED IN THOSE COMICS… everything is so out of context for me now.

oh my goodness how am I going to cope.