Going into my husbands source here(i have his permission)
It makes him feel like he failed them. Or worse like they never trusted him in the first place. Because none of them ever Fucking told him ANYTHING of what was going on. Elder was the one who had to tell him, he couldn't find them, couldn't feel them. He didn't know.
And it just broke his heart. I remember before we were separated due to him becoming who he is. crying to me about said issues even before everything started crumbling i think.
He felt like they all just. Shut him out. they were cold, or too busy, or too tired, or. Just. it was horrible. Especially for someone who's who'll being was solidarity.
But, until elder told him he just. thought he was the problem. But it's not like they ever spoke to him so, all he could do was be better for his troops. And the cookies that Needed him because they couldn't do things on their own.