#*posting

And like oooghhhh You get me! I did something dialogue focused (another reason I was like eh about refining the drawing itself lol) cause I wanted it to contrast from naughty daydream N. J has a hard time, even if she can get her head wrapped enough around the fact N *wants* her and stuff, picturing actually being realistically praised. That's got a lot to do with her whole history of her worth being dependant on her maintaining her usefulness. No way in hell the Elliots were thankful for anything. Cyn wasn't exactly a nice boss either (mega sidenote, do you remember that one merch ad where J (I think as a plushie) is playing with a Cyn figure mimicking her voice and calling her employee of the month? I know it's a gag ad and all but it feels heart crushingly real,, like I can fully picture her doing that q_q ).

She doesn't feel like she deserves it foremost and certainly not from N. But for the very same reason, hearing it from him is ... 💫 💓 and the only way to feel like it's Okay to hear that from him is to ensure she's completely surrendered control–no chance she somehow coerced him (which is probably more subconscious than actively realizing it). The real N though isn't so rebellious and assertive like the daydream where he makes her his bitch lol.. the real N knows what J would really want, if she weren't so scared, is to be a little bossy and get her ass kissed. So he does this kinda thing where it's like he's dom but pretending to be the sub, and guiding the dialogue to gradually sound more like she's in charge, and then affirming she's doing a great job being his superior. Questionable how much J will ever grasp what he's doing lolol but that's kinda cute isn't it? And he does really like it.

N loves dominate women we all know that lmao but also I think there's a little bit of a dirty personal thrill to have the upper hand on her. Not in a revenge way or anything more like..... for all the kicking around she did claiming she didn't need him for jack shit now he's the one she's clinging to as he's making her cum. All the good doggy boy brain in the world can't drown out how hot that is

Not really something that comes out though (mostly, maybe. I guess assertive dom N isn't impossible forever lol), his focus is, as you said, nourishing the things J's self worth really rides on... He's the person she feels safest to be so utterly vulnerable with she may as well be flayed open alive in front of him. It's not taken for granted or ignored. It's wonderful she feels safe with someone, it's incredible it gets to be him despite everything.

Put this one under the cut bc it looks weird, tried to do perspective-y stuff with. uh, that one scene but it just looks strange lmfao.