VERY gross lol (involves vomit) read at your own discretion
Really want to draw someone like maybe holding J while she throws up a bunch on them (drank too much) but can't really decide who (I want them to be like sincere about comforting her but also crazy flustered because they're super into what's happening it's sooooooo hot. like after they tuck her into bed they are jerking off before they shower kind of into it)(idk if I'll draw that part but maybe tbh) anyway yeah like trying to decide which (un)lucky bachelor is the most qualified to get this kink bestowed upon them (taking opinions if theres actually freaks out here like this)
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being someone who kinda gets swept up in daily life and routine the accumulation of thingsโand I hc her, even when established in the polycule, she's the most independent and doing her own thing most of the time, like has her 5 days/week 9-5 schedule like clockwork, hyper focuses on work (that she likes, whatever it is she's doing, while it may be stressful at times, she feels a lot of fulfillment form it, she's very goal and success oriented!), and weekends are her prime social time. She doesn't slow down a lot to take in the big picture of everything and emotionally digest it.. the best way I can put it into words anyway idk.
But like I'm kinda imagining a moment where she's cuddled up with everyone, maybe sleepily watching a movie or something, but she's in the center of the snuggle pile. And suddenly her brain is like "holy shit. I have three partners" and it like shakes her cause it feels like it was just yesterday (and relatively speaking, in the grand scheme of things, it wasn't all that long ago!) she was alone, be it the deliberate distance she had to put between her team, being utterly alone after the fallout, or her just.. being alone living here at the start where she felt like it wasn't going to last anyway, nobody will tolerate her indefinitely. Sincere friendship didn't seem all that likely. But somehow she ended up being loved by 3 entire people and they're all there right now tangled up with her because she's a genuine part of what they have
She probably like suddenly starts crying and everyone's like ?!?! What's wrong?!? And she's not even that good at explaining it, but she can get enough out they can glean what she got emotional over so suddenly. And they can just keep snuggling her and letting her release all the emotions, it's a normal and healthy part of processing big life changes to cry and release bottled up feelings (even if they're good ones, feeling immense happiness in a place that used to be a small empty space in oneself is like .. gorging on food when you've been starving for years, it's kind of painful because your body is not used to suddenly expanding to accommodate all that)
Makes me emotional though imagining all the happy crying and love and physical contact. ๐ฅน
There's one amendment I'm making to my hc's about her in fc, which is.. I used to imagine her still preferring space on non-work days more often than not, social time being more sparse, because I picture everyone else getting really rambunctious, and she'd be quieter. Well, I was incorrect about that bit! Did not expect her to have so much rambunctious "immature" energy (immature not derogatory here, but comparing it to how the other 3 are where they can be kind of "childish" because they never got to be ... kids? Mentally? Because of fucked up circumstances. S'why they're so playful and stuff), though it makes a lot of sense when thinking about it like yeah J's situation is very comparable to "eldest daughter who prematurely stepped up into a adult role to take the brunt of abuse and keep everyone in line for their protection. But it's fun cause I did always say she and N have a lot in common ... That was also more than I thought.
But yeah she's got a lot of that pent up, and just like she says in the video... She has to maintain a balance between personal feelings and work. So what I kinda picture now is pre friendship/polycule, J falls into her same habit of distancing herself (there's a lot of tension going on at that point anyway), including on her days off, burying herself in any work she can find an excuse to do.... And otherwise relaxing by drinking (crazy I somehow pinned that. I have 3 WIPs that include J and alcohol in some way)
But after friendship/polycule, I now see her as being way more social with everyone and actively wanting to spend time with them on most days off, and being very much included in high energy/loud activities. I think it takes warning up bit by bit, but eventually she's comfortable enough to be silly with them and it's really really nice to finally be able to indulge in and show that side of her without fear of repercussion or judgement or beating herself up about it.
Oh this one was also kinda in general prior but I think just more active in my mind nowโbut I think after getting companionship and socialization and stuff, she would drink less frequently and less heavily. Since it's not such a coping crutch needed anymore. :]
hi! author of the fullcompany core vore(and more) thing here :3 either blog i would've sent this from is a sideblog, so anon time it is. (unlike that fic lmao)
it's crazy to see that you saw(and then got recommended) it within mere hours of me posting it. i actually lurk around your blog quite a bit. so seeing that pop up was a quite pleasant surprise :P
it mostly got written because i offered to write or draw for a friend of mine (someone that you actually talk to sometimes. it is up to them if they wish to reveal who they are.) and their response was "something fullcompany". i asked "do i keep it somewhat tame or go all out?" and they chose the 2nd option. truthfully, the 2nd option just enabled the ending bits.
it took about 3-4 days for me to write it. i knew it was a bit Out There with some tags ("how the hell do these tags fit together" levels to some) but i am actually SO glad you (and others) are enjoying it.
have a nice rest of ur day/night :3
Omg hiii!! It was such a coincidence I truly don't open ao3 that often and it's also not often I'm randomly sent fics but at the same time I think at this point a lot of people see me as The full company guy (I am humbled) and I get tagged/sent fc art faster than the speed of light sometimes. Which also kinda makes me laugh the mystery person is someone I noticeably interact with lol like yeah truly full company central here heheheh
I admire you going all out and living your truths with that as open as I am about a lot, I'm also like, anxious sometimes about being Too Weird (even if it probably doesn't seem like it) and I find myself holding back sometimes ๐ I also admire how quickly you write God I wish that were me
Incredibly good though yes thank you for your service ๐ซก full company smut is way harder to come by than it should be, and even when I find it folks sometimes skirt around N and J interacting within it which obviously no one ones surprise is one of my fav offshoot pairings. So the smooth domestic cuteness between the whole four of them as an established relationship and doing their sexy thangs is refreshing and really good. Also Uzi like domming the whole thing. As she should.
And like I already mentioned it but sjfjkskds the swallowing part was my favorite that was super hot ๐๐ฆ keep up the Good Work soldier
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Full Company, m/ff core vore, and some...weirder things.
Oh your timing is so funny I opened ao3 for the first time since whenever the last fic I shared was (spooky one where Cyn makes N eat V's innards) while I was waiting for my noodle water to boil and read that exact fic
[Link for easy opening on mobile]
Spoilerz
I think that's the first full company vore fic I've seen in the wild, extremely good just for that aspect. Some stuff outside my tastes, though at the same time one thing is I'm usually not into sounding but the author wrote it pretty hot especially the way N begs for it ahaha. My fav part is unsurprisingly the swallowing but the specific line about N being good with "keeping his girls from getting scratched on his fangs" made my brain short circuit a little and maybe some additional Effects hwwewhhhghh ๐ซ love the overall sweet domestic vibe of them too freakiness aside ... Overall very cute and hot and good ๐
(I'm still sleepy but I was hungry and needed a snack first)
@oogaboogaspookyman no you're correct I think and that's kind of the way I see him in general (partially headcanon, but partially canon interpretation). I think I posted something after Meet J about how I felt so vindicated it confirmed that N was just as brutal a killer as V and J, contrary to a lot of fanon that frames him as being guilt ridden the whole time (or takes J's insults about being useless at face value like she's not lying out her ass all the time lol)
Was chatting about that to my sibling who brought up a good point that in all honestly, N had the potential to be the most brutal because where V and J remember they were worker drones, and their horrific history, and them carrying out their mission is not entirely voluntary, giving them way more of a burden of guilt and grief and traumatizing memories they have to suppress (after all, even V's sadistic personality is something she leaned into to cope with the hell she was living in)... N did not remember or know any of that. He doesn't know he used to be anything else but what he is, he doesn't remember living amongst other worker drones in the past, he only knows he's there to do a job, which coincides with satiating a hunger he doesn't know the implications of, and the only meaningful bonding he gets to do with the only 2 people he's allowed to "know" as people is doing said job and satiating said hunger.
V ripping out some guys entrails and feeding them to him is a result of the mask she's been wearing to really become a killer and stuff down the sweet girl she used to be; N getting excited about a card game he wants to play and then remembering he's there to murder everyone and then doing it without remorse is all real. It's the combo of him being a person who's sweet and playful and the nature of a predator that he has no reason to believe is some unknown evil an outside entity planted in him.
This, in my humble opinion, is why it's so easy for him to flip sides and remain in cute and nice mode. If he no longer has the job to commit to, and his wants and needs are otherwise being met (companionship and we can assume he's eating off screen otherwise he'd y'know die), then ok! This is what he's doing now. No act to drop, no guilt, just switching from one state of living to another.
The whole golden retriever motif with him works great in this regard because while that dog breed is famously considered one of the most docile, gentle, family friendly dogs, they were originally bred though as gun dogs, and their "gentle mouths" made them superb retrievers as they could carefully bring back game undamaged.
A golden retriever doesn't know any moral implications of what it's doing. It doesn't feel bad for the duck the hunter kills and tells it to retrieve. It doesn't feel guilt over eating meat. When it lives with humans, its survival needs are met, it doesn't need to act on any instinct to run into the forest and kill prey. But if its needs weren't met, if it was lost in the woods, even the friendliest dog on earth would still know how to grab an animal and violently shake it until its neck snaps. I mean it shows you all the time when it shakes a toy, and it loves when you take the other end of the toy and together you play the game where you practice brutally mangling a small animal (and if you don't know that's what you're playing, it doesn't know that either!)
It's not evil for being a carnivore or having instincts and ability to kill, and even though you know it has them, you still let it sleep in your bed and play with your kids because you've trained it for the job it has (whether it's a house dog and it's job simply is to be everyone's friend, or a service animal, or a hunting dog) and take care of it well enough it sees you as a companion and not enemy or food.
For a dog there's no hard line between love and instincts because they're intertwined and contextual. And that's kinda how I see him, y'know? He has the sapient capacity (drone AI being virtually indistinguishable from human intelligence) to learn information and feel abstract emotion and therefore on some level I think he could feel bad or guilty about past actions but I don't truthfully think it could hit him the way it would V and J. Those two, their experience with being DDโs is way more holistically vampiric where they remember they were once "normal" and now they are supernatural beings forced to feed on their own kind. N's more like... A werewolf in perma werewolf mode.
I think any self loathing that manifests feeling "evil" isn't a guilt that was always there, but a fear of doing wrong by the people he values present day and desire to protect them (and the thought of him being the thing they need protection from is distressing. Which is what Cyn (in the music vid) targets in his psyche. I think someone else needs to be the one planting those self doubt thoughts is the thing because otherwise, he simply knows himself to be a good person as much as he knows he's... A domesticated murder drone, haha)
All this to say I think that's why I see him having a lot of fantasies about his partner that range from saccharine to downright violent, and I think anything that would stress him out about it isn't the feeling like he'd lose control, but a fear that if the other person knew, they'd be afraid of him. And that's also why I love the idea of Uzi being really into that side of him, because it means he, as a whole person, is being loved and trusted, not just the parts that most resemble a normal worker drone while the murder drone stuff is bad and scary and it's a burden for him to hide and her to pretend doesn't exist. Nah, he is an absolutely wonderful person Uzi would trust with her life exactly the way he is, including the knowledge that 20+ years of killing and eating people was like a fun game to him. It's a little bit scary to think about, but at the same time it's like... Those 20+ years of carnage didn't change his capacity for love and compassion either, that's how strong that side of him is.
Personally, while I do agree that N didn't see anything wrong with what he was doing at first, I feel like that would change after he gets his memory back.
The idea of essentially waking up as yourself again for the first time in god knows how long, filled with memories of not just butchering people, but actively enjoying it, would be horrifying.
As you said, V and J had to force themselves to accept the role, while N just didn't know any better, but now he does, and it must hurt so bad.
I don't know, I sometimes like "not actually remorseful N" but it really depends on how it's written. Sorry if I derailed this post.
I think the way I see things (and in all honesty, I think the canon is ambiguous about this), I don't think N got all his memories back, just the chunk that Uzi rescued in ep 5 (which were bridged with V's memories as well, so not even all of that was his). The fact that they were accessible at all for Uzi to hack into means some amount (or all?) of N's wiped memories must actually still be stored locally in his system, just made inaccessible to him. It seems that Cyn was trying to permanently delete them from local storage (whether she has them backed up somewhere else, shrug!).
Another thing that gives me this impression is how Cyn's able to just allow him to remember stuff at her discretion, ie when she hugs him in the mine shaft, and he sees that earth memory (which he didn't remember before that moment, meaning he did not get all his memories back at ep 5)
The thing with all that, to me personally, is that it's such a small amount of memory so distant in the past, it's like.... Not actually all that significant to who he is as a person present day. It's important in terms of information about the past, who Cyn is, who J and V are, where he came from, but it like... Cannot possibly, in my eyes, hold more weight than the amount of time he's been alive as a disassembly drone. His worker drone life may as well be a past life, rather than a life being continued like J and V.
Which aligns with what actually happened, which was that N did actually die the night of the gala, while J and V were taken control of by Cyn and made to do their first human massacre.
So basically N never really "woke up as himself" imo. Like.. he already is himself, his worker drone self died figuratively and literally. He gained some recollection of a single night and some objective knowledge about his relationship to J, V, and Cyn, about himself in terms of who and what he used to be, but in the grand scheme of things it's so little. And when he wakes up from Uzi's hacking, he's more excited about Uzi beating Cyn than he's horrified about what he remembered. Nothing about him changes after ep 5 either to indicate any significant impact.
(sorry if this is a little all over the place I'm gettin sleepy)
Your tiny wormzi vore art makes me rub my hands together since awhile back I had talked with a few friends about a vore scenario where a tiny wormzi lives in V's belly like a cross between a tapeworm and Symbiote
Endosoma is not a vore category I enjoy much, but the concept of tapewormzi is absolutely delightful
(Which is not exactly what you said, but what I decided to think of simply because it's not the first time I've thought of a tapeworm lamia. Lucky for everyone here, drones don't have the whole array of guts to play around in, so you won't be subjected to me drawing esoteric fetish art of intestinal parasite girls)
happy vore day indeed, answering a bit late cause I wasn't sure if I'd attach a drawing or not ๐ I ended up being too fatigued to draw after getting home from my trip still (slept sooooooo long...), comments on this post did give me an idea though so I might do it tomorrow (or today technically) if I have more energy
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@oogaboogaspookyman no you're correct I think and that's kind of the way I see him in general (partially headcanon, but partially canon interpretation). I think I posted something after Meet J about how I felt so vindicated it confirmed that N was just as brutal a killer as V and J, contrary to a lot of fanon that frames him as being guilt ridden the whole time (or takes J's insults about being useless at face value like she's not lying out her ass all the time lol)
Was chatting about that to my sibling who brought up a good point that in all honestly, N had the potential to be the most brutal because where V and J remember they were worker drones, and their horrific history, and them carrying out their mission is not entirely voluntary, giving them way more of a burden of guilt and grief and traumatizing memories they have to suppress (after all, even V's sadistic personality is something she leaned into to cope with the hell she was living in)... N did not remember or know any of that. He doesn't know he used to be anything else but what he is, he doesn't remember living amongst other worker drones in the past, he only knows he's there to do a job, which coincides with satiating a hunger he doesn't know the implications of, and the only meaningful bonding he gets to do with the only 2 people he's allowed to "know" as people is doing said job and satiating said hunger.
V ripping out some guys entrails and feeding them to him is a result of the mask she's been wearing to really become a killer and stuff down the sweet girl she used to be; N getting excited about a card game he wants to play and then remembering he's there to murder everyone and then doing it without remorse is all real. It's the combo of him being a person who's sweet and playful and the nature of a predator that he has no reason to believe is some unknown evil an outside entity planted in him.
This, in my humble opinion, is why it's so easy for him to flip sides and remain in cute and nice mode. If he no longer has the job to commit to, and his wants and needs are otherwise being met (companionship and we can assume he's eating off screen otherwise he'd y'know die), then ok! This is what he's doing now. No act to drop, no guilt, just switching from one state of living to another.
The whole golden retriever motif with him works great in this regard because while that dog breed is famously considered one of the most docile, gentle, family friendly dogs, they were originally bred though as gun dogs, and their "gentle mouths" made them superb retrievers as they could carefully bring back game undamaged.
A golden retriever doesn't know any moral implications of what it's doing. It doesn't feel bad for the duck the hunter kills and tells it to retrieve. It doesn't feel guilt over eating meat. When it lives with humans, its survival needs are met, it doesn't need to act on any instinct to run into the forest and kill prey. But if its needs weren't met, if it was lost in the woods, even the friendliest dog on earth would still know how to grab an animal and violently shake it until its neck snaps. I mean it shows you all the time when it shakes a toy, and it loves when you take the other end of the toy and together you play the game where you practice brutally mangling a small animal (and if you don't know that's what you're playing, it doesn't know that either!)
It's not evil for being a carnivore or having instincts and ability to kill, and even though you know it has them, you still let it sleep in your bed and play with your kids because you've trained it for the job it has (whether it's a house dog and it's job simply is to be everyone's friend, or a service animal, or a hunting dog) and take care of it well enough it sees you as a companion and not enemy or food.
For a dog there's no hard line between love and instincts because they're intertwined and contextual. And that's kinda how I see him, y'know? He has the sapient capacity (drone AI being virtually indistinguishable from human intelligence) to learn information and feel abstract emotion and therefore on some level I think he could feel bad or guilty about past actions but I don't truthfully think it could hit him the way it would V and J. Those two, their experience with being DDโs is way more holistically vampiric where they remember they were once "normal" and now they are supernatural beings forced to feed on their own kind. N's more like... A werewolf in perma werewolf mode.
I think any self loathing that manifests feeling "evil" isn't a guilt that was always there, but a fear of doing wrong by the people he values present day and desire to protect them (and the thought of him being the thing they need protection from is distressing. Which is what Cyn (in the music vid) targets in his psyche. I think someone else needs to be the one planting those self doubt thoughts is the thing because otherwise, he simply knows himself to be a good person as much as he knows he's... A domesticated murder drone, haha)
All this to say I think that's why I see him having a lot of fantasies about his partner that range from saccharine to downright violent, and I think anything that would stress him out about it isn't the feeling like he'd lose control, but a fear that if the other person knew, they'd be afraid of him. And that's also why I love the idea of Uzi being really into that side of him, because it means he, as a whole person, is being loved and trusted, not just the parts that most resemble a normal worker drone while the murder drone stuff is bad and scary and it's a burden for him to hide and her to pretend doesn't exist. Nah, he is an absolutely wonderful person Uzi would trust with her life exactly the way he is, including the knowledge that 20+ years of killing and eating people was like a fun game to him. It's a little bit scary to think about, but at the same time it's like... Those 20+ years of carnage didn't change his capacity for love and compassion either, that's how strong that side of him is.
Ok there's a thought heavily inspired by the statements of horny but quiet n and flustered over even a little affection uzi.
N loves uzi. This is public knowledge. He is a murder drone. Also everyone knows this. What isnt as well known is what he wants to do to uzi.
Being a murder drone, his go to solution for life's problems tended to be sadism and violence. He's got the equipment, he's got the training/instinct and he has needs.
Right now his needs are uzi and her body. Uzi is a particular worker drone with particular hang ups. He loves her, absolutely loves her. He knows about her history, the bullying, the isolation, the *harm*. He understands why she's guarded sensitive about touch and letting him in. He understands.
Problem is he's a murder drone in love and she's... *She turned her back and started to walk away, but N only saw a vunerable worker drone back. He'd pounce on her pinning her to the ground, taking in her scent he knew her to be his mate he forces her drone before raising her hips and...* N grits his teeth just fine just fine normal loving fantasies.
Or when he spots working at her table... *He sneaks in and surprises her oil and kisses on her neck. He keeps going and starts touching her. The thing she was working on is forgotten as he drinks in the sounds she's making for him. She's on the table like a offering or personal meal, he's starving and she's pleading with her legs wrapped him he...* let's her keep working cause she needs to focus as N clenches his fist.
Then there's are those days when her issues flare up and ... *She's sad and he knows it, she's thinking about the past and he wont allow it. He snatches her up. He takes the top of her head and pulls it so he can shove his tongue down her throat. He tears off her clothes and embraces her. Pulling his tongue he traces her carapace to her silicon wriggling to enter her torso to as deep as possible before the room changed revealing the segmented body of his eldritch goddess. She's on her back beneath him, heavy breath her arms pinned above her head. Uzi utters a quiet "Please, more." N's all too happy to provide.* He takes a deep breath its fine. He's harder than a diamond and he's just going to check on uzi
Meanwhile uzi flustering over how the fuck she's going to pull off a date and not get cringy about when N does something sappy.
Tldr. N is thirsty enough to drain ocean, is so down bad for uzi and deeply wants to screw uzi's problems away. Murder drone in him wants to jump the gun at the least slightest hnt of vulnerability, uzi's working on something, she ain't moving try something. She's having a episode caused poor self confidence/body image/self worth. You take that drone you love and screw every last problem out of her head. Its not healthy or proper go to, but goddammit N loves his girl to death cyn didnt equip him with therapy.
Meanwhile uzi is blushing when they're hand holding.
Aaaahhhhh yeah that's pretty much how I see N like, down so bad for her and not only is he a disassembly drone with impulse to be rough (his whole life as far as he can remember, violence/killing is play) and instinct driven by hunger but he as a person is very physically affectionate. He holds back going overboard with her and pretty much anyone because taking a step back the reality is, the other two people (J and V) he'd ever been "close" to (in quotes for obvious reasons, but they're also pretty repressed themselves for obvious reasons) were never all that receptive to cuddly wuddly affection from him.
Uzi on the other hand is used to being isolated and barely given words of affection much less physical, and she's coped with that by framing it as stuff she doesn't want or need or even seeing it as revolting. But it's clear throughout the show how much she warms up to N touching her, like carrying her, hugging her, Uzi ends up being the one to want to make the first move to hold his hand. But N ended up being the one to actually do it first (and it wasn't ever really on purpose)
I think N would see Uzi as the pace setter of it all, and her pace would be very very slow moving. Which is fine. But I think on the other hand, Uzi would not realize he's leaving it all up to her and she chokes up getting over certain hurdles. I think kissing would be one of those where she'll think about it a lot but every time it crosses her mind to do it, she hesitates and then tells herself it's gross anyway whatever.
So when it comes to the sexy stuff... I think that would be so so so hard for her to even grapple with feeling like it's normal and okay to want. And she can't read N on it because he's keeping up his wholesomeness for her, not reading her and the fact that she's kinda stuck... They are dorks ๐
It's kinda like... Dgmw I love fics where they're going super duper slow and every single move is negotiated it's cute its sweet, but when I think about how much of their getting-closer was due to some spontaneous circumstance (N catches Uzi before they hit the ground, N saves her from projectile knives and pulls her into his side, their confession of feelings was falling after their ship exploded), I feel like the most realistic thing that would get them to that point would be something also spontaneous. I think tiptoeing TOO much, Uzi will keep choking up (and she doesn't want to, it's probably only making herself feel worse like there's something wrong with her she can't fix) She needs a push into the pool. That's not a bad thing at all, some people need things to happen like that, it's just a matter of the right person doing it (and she has that person)!
Not necessarily quite as out of the blue direct as N's fantasies (as you described) like just suddenly pinning her down and ravishing her (though, tbh, I think Uzi would feel very flustered if she knew that's how bad he wanted her) .. but I think if there were something that could line that opportunity up to take, it would be perfect and maybe get pretty passionate and heated quickly.
Can't really say I've thought about and committed to a first kiss or first time having sex moment for them it's just like oughh there's so many possibilities... But I dunno, some kind of situation where they end up falling on top of one another.. my brain really likes to go to something that would involve a minor injury where Uzi would be "bleeding" (oil but y'know), N's all concerned if she's okay while hovering over her, they both are aware but try to ignore their position is a bit.. intimate, Uzi goes to touch his face but accidentally smears oil on it, N unconsciously licks it off the side of his mouth and when he sees the look that puts on her face, he tentatively licks her fingers (her breath hitches), he leans in and licks a splatter off her cheek dangerously close to her mouth (she shudders), he ghosts his lips right above hers (she parts her lips, he can feel her breath, it's crystal clear what she wants him to do)
..that was supposed to be about sex but I got caught up in picturing a kiss instead oopsies but you probably get what I'm going for hehehe the part of Uzi scared she's not good enough or doesn't have the chance to impulsively sabotage being loved, and every move N makes on his own volition is telling her she's wanted. And once he knows exactly what she wants he's top notch delivering it
I swear this is any of us when we see or draw or talk about vore. Saw this and thought of the wormVUzi vore conversation we had earlier lol
๐
On one hand true on the other hand I've been a practitioner of vore for a very long time, so when my brain thinks it's hot when I see someone get eaten or want to get eaten it's like, yeah I would wouldn't I
You need to remind me which conversation though omg I have like a vague recollection of what you're talking about but my brain is currently fried after the last 6 days' stress ๐
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